17.10 Yi chiap tio̍h Mellors ê phe
Clifford ê phe ín-khí ê hùn-nō͘, koh i ê phe bô jīm-hô ê tông-chêng-sim, hō͘ Connie ìn-siōng chin bái. M̄-koh yi ū tit-tio̍h khah hó ê liáu-kái, tán yi chiap tio̍h Mellors ê phe:
"Niau í-keng cháu chhut pò͘-tē, koh tòe chi̍t tīn niau-á kiáⁿ. [E̍k: Chóa í-keng pau bē tiâu hóe, hóe-sái koh phùn kah móa sì-kè ah.] Lí ū thiaⁿ-kóng, goán bó͘ tńg-lâi í-keng bô koh ài yi ê góa chia, jî-chhiáⁿ tòa tī chhun-sià: tī hia, kóng chi̍t kù khah put-kèng ê ōe, yi ùi chi̍t sió koàn ê Coty phīⁿ tio̍h niáu-chhí hiàn. Keng-kòe kúi-nā kang, yi bô hoat-hiān kî-thaⁿ ê chèng-kì, m̄-koh tng yi chai siòng-phìⁿ í-keng sio-khì, yi khai-sí ai-pē-kiò-bú. Yi tī sì-kak pâng-keng hoat-hiān po-lê hām siòng-kheng pang. Chin put-hēng, he pang téng-koân ū lâng ô͘-loān ōe chi̍t kóa ang-á hām miâ ê thâu-jī kúi-nā ê: C.S.R. Put-jî-kò, che bô siáⁿ sòaⁿ-soh, it-ti̍t kàu yi cháu ji̍p liâu-á, hoat-hiān chi̍t pún lí ê chheh: Pâi-iu Judith ê Chū-toān, tī thâu-ia̍h ū lí ê miâ, Constance Stewart Reid. Án-ne liáu, kúi-nā kang yi tō sì-kè tōa-siaⁿ jiáng, kóng góa ê chêng-hū m̄-sī pa̍t-lâng, sī Chatterley Hu-jîn pún-lâng. Chit-ê siau-sit chòe-āu thoân kàu bo̍k-su Burroughs Ss hām kàu Clifford Sià hia. Chū án-ne, in khai-sí chhái-chhú hoat-lu̍t hêng-tōng boeh kò goán thài-chō, yi soah cháu kah bô khòaⁿ-e-iáⁿ, in-ūi yi chiok kiaⁿ tú tio̍h kéng-chhat.
"Clifford Sià boeh kìⁿ góa, góa tō khì i hia. I kóng chi̍t-kóa ū-ê bô-ê, ká-ná tùi góa chin kám-mō͘. Āu-lâi, i mn̄g góa kóng, kám chai hu-jîn ê miâ mā hông kóng-tio̍h. Góa kóng, góa m̄-bat chhap kiàn-siàu-tāi, mā kám-kak tio̍h-kiaⁿ, kèng-jiân ùi Clifford Sià thiaⁿ tio̍h chit-ê kóng-hoat. I kóng, che tong-jiân sī chin tōa ê bú-jio̍k; góa tō kā kóng, goán chàu-kha ū kòa chi̍t ê Mary Ông-hiō ê ji̍t-chì, bô-gî, che sī in-ūi Ông-hiō sī góa āu-kiong ê cha-bó͘. M̄-koh, i bô him-sióng góa chit-ê chhiò-khoe. I khì kah, tō kóng góa chho͘-ló͘ kah khò͘ bô liú tō sì-kè sô; góa tō kā ìn kóng, i liân su-iàu liú ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ to bô ah; chū án-ne, i kā góa sî-thâu-lō͘; āu lé-pài la̍k góa tio̍h boeh lī-khui, chit-ê só͘-chāi bô koh ū lâng ē bat góa ah.
"Góa ē khì London, góa í-chêng ê chhù thâu-ke Inger Tt, Coburg Kóng-tiûⁿ 17 hō, nā m̄-sī hō͘ góa tòa chi̍t-ê pâng-keng, tō sī ē thè góa chhōe chi̍t keng.
"Kì tio̍h, chōe-kò bē pàng kòe lí, iû-kî lí í-keng kiat-hun, iah yi ê miâ sī Bertha..."
Bô chi̍t kù ōe kóng yi, a̍h sī kā yi kóng. Connie kám-kak chin oàn-hūn. I si̍t-chāi ē-sái kóng kúi kù an-ùi a̍h kó͘-lē ê ōe. M̄-koh, yi chai, i boeh hō͘ yi chū-iû chū-chāi tńg-khì Wragby, tńg-khì Clifford sin-piⁿ. Che mā hō͘ yi hùn-nō͘. I m̄-bián kek chit-chióng ké ê gī-khì. Yi tān-goān i ū kā Clifford kóng: "Tio̍h, yi sī góa ê ài-jîn, góa ê hóe-kì, góa kám-kak chin êng-hēng!" M̄-koh, i khiok bô chit-chióng ióng-khì.
Chū án-ne, tī Tevershall yi ê miâ hām i ê kiap chò-hóe! Pìⁿ kah kin-ká-kô. M̄-koh he bān-bān ē siau-khì.
Yi chiâⁿ siū-khì, chit ê ho̍k-cha̍p koh hūn-loān ê siū-khì hāi yi khí-gōng. Yi m̄-chai boeh chhòng siáⁿ, mā m̄-chai boeh kóng siáⁿ, chū án-ne yi bô chhòng siáⁿ, mā bô kóng siáⁿ. Yi kè-sio̍k chiàu-siông tī Venice seng-oa̍h, hām Duncan Forbes kò gondola chhut-khì, sé chúi-e̍k, chi̍t-kang kòe chi̍t-kang. Duncan, 10 nî chêng ài yi bē tio̍h, taⁿ iū-koh ài tio̍h yi ah. M̄-koh, yi kā i kóng: "Góa tùi cha-po͘-lâng kan-ta iau-kiû chi̍t hāng tāi-chì, he tō-sī, in lóng mài lâi kiáu-jiáu góa."
Chū án-ne, Duncan bô kiáu-jiáu yi: chin-chiàⁿ hoaⁿ-hí ē-tàng án-ne chò. Chiàu-siông, i hō͘ yi chi̍t-chióng ná un-jiû chúi-lâu ê kî-koài ê, iú-chêng ê ài. I chí-sī su-iàu ū yi chò-phōaⁿ.
"Lí kám bat siūⁿ kòe," chi̍t kang i kā yi kóng, "lán lâng tiong-kan ê koan-liân si̍t-chāi chin chió. Lí khòaⁿ Daniele! I iân-tâu kah ná chhiūⁿ ji̍t-thâu ê kiáⁿ. M̄-koh, lí khòaⁿ tī i ê iân-tâu tiong-kan, i sī gōa-nī-á ko͘-to̍k. M̄-koh, góa káⁿ sio-su, i it-tēng ū bó͘-kiáⁿ, só͘-í i bô khó-lêng pàng-sak in."
"Khì mn̄g i lah," Connie kóng.
Duncan chèng-keng khì kā mn̄g. Daniele kóng i í-keng kiat-hun, ū nn̄g ê gín-á, lóng sī cha-po͘ ê, chhit hòe kap káu hòe. M̄-koh, tùi chiah-ê sū-si̍t i bô liû-lō͘ siáⁿ-mih kám-chêng.
"Hoān-sè, kan-ta ē-tàng chin-chiàⁿ kiat-ha̍p ê lâng chiah ē khòaⁿ khí-lâi ná ko͘-to̍k tī thiⁿ-tē tiong-kan," Connie kóng. "Kî-thaⁿ ê lâng lóng sio-tòe, in tòe chiòng-lâng, chhiūⁿ Giovanni," ... "Iáu ū," yi sim-nih án-ne siūⁿ, "chhiūⁿ lí, Duncan, mā sī chit-chióng lâng."
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17.10 她接著 Mellors ê 批
Clifford ê 批引起 ê 憤怒, koh 伊 ê 批無任何 ê 同情心, 予 Connie 印象真䆀. M̄-koh 她有得著較好 ê 了解, 等她接著 Mellors ê 批:
"貓已經走出布袋, koh 綴一陣貓仔囝. [譯: 紙已經包袂牢火, 火屎 koh 噴 kah 滿四界 ah.] 你有聽講, 阮某轉來已經無 koh 愛她 ê 我遮, 而且蹛 tī 村舍: tī 遐, 講一句較不敬 ê 話, 她 ùi 一小罐 ê Coty 鼻著鳥鼠羶. 經過幾若工, 她無發現其他 ê 證據, m̄-koh 當她知相片已經燒去, 她開始哀爸叫母. 她 tī 四角房間發現玻璃和相框枋. 真不幸, 彼枋頂懸有人胡亂畫一寡尪仔和名 ê 頭字幾若个: C.S.R. 不而過, 這無啥線索, 一直到她走入寮仔, 發現一本你 ê 冊: 俳優 Judith ê 自傳, tī 頭頁有你 ê 名, Constance Stewart Reid. Án-ne 了, 幾若工她 tō 四界大聲嚷, 講我 ê 情婦毋是別人, 是 Chatterley 夫人本人. Chit-ê 消息最後傳到牧師 Burroughs Ss 和到 Clifford Sià 遐. 自 án-ne, in 開始採取法律行動欲告阮太座, 她煞走 kah 無看 e 影, 因為她足驚拄著警察.
"Clifford Sià 欲見我, 我 tō 去伊遐. 伊講一寡有 ê 無 ê, ká-ná 對我真感冒. 後來, 伊問我講, 敢知夫人 ê 名 mā hông 講著. 我講, 我 m̄-bat chhap 見笑代, mā 感覺著驚, 竟然 ùi Clifford Sià 聽著這个講法. 伊講, 這當然是真大 ê 侮辱; 我 tō kā 講, 阮灶跤有掛一个 Mary 王后 ê 日誌, 無疑, 這是因為王后是我後宮 ê 查某. M̄-koh, 伊無欣賞我這个笑詼. 伊氣 kah, tō 講我粗魯 kah 褲無鈕 tō 四界趖; 我 tō kā 應講, 伊連需要鈕 ê 物件都無 ah; 自 án-ne, 伊 kā 我辭頭路; 後禮拜六我著欲離開, 這个所在無 koh 有人會 bat 我 ah.
"我會去 London, 我以前 ê 厝頭家 Inger Tt, Coburg 廣場 17 號, 若毋是予我蹛一个房間, tō 是會替我揣一間.
"記著, 罪過袂放過你, 尤其你已經結婚, iah 她 ê 名是 Bertha..."
無一句話講她, 抑是 kā 她講. Connie 感覺真怨恨. 伊實在會使講幾句安慰抑鼓勵 ê 話. M̄-koh, 她知, 伊欲予她自由自在轉去 Wragby, 轉去 Clifford 身邊. 這 mā 予她憤怒. 伊毋免激這種假 ê 義氣. 她但願伊有 kā Clifford 講: "著, 她是我 ê 愛人, 我 ê hóe-kì, 我感覺真榮幸!" M̄-koh, 伊卻無這種勇氣.
自 án-ne, tī Tevershall 她 ê 名和伊 ê 夾做伙! Pìⁿ kah kin-ká-kô. M̄-koh 彼慢慢會消去.
她誠受氣, 這个複雜 koh 混亂 ê 受氣害她起戇. 她毋知欲創啥, mā 毋知欲講啥, 自 án-ne 她無創啥, mā 無講啥. 她繼續照常 tī Venice 生活, 和 Duncan Forbes 划 gondola 出去, 洗水浴, 一工過一工. Duncan, 10 年前愛她袂著, 今又 koh 愛著她 ah. M̄-koh, 她 kā 伊講: "我對查埔人干焦要求一項代誌, 彼 tō 是, in 攏莫來攪擾我."
自 án-ne, Duncan 無攪擾她: 真正歡喜會當 án-ne 做. 照常, 伊予她一種 ná 溫柔水流 ê 奇怪 ê, 友情 ê 愛. 伊只是需要有她做伴.
"你敢 bat 想過," 一工伊 kā 她講, "咱人中間 ê 關連實在真少. 你看 Daniele! 伊緣投 kah ná 像日頭 ê 囝. M̄-koh, 你看 tī 伊 ê 緣投中間, 伊是 gōa-nī-á 孤獨. M̄-koh, 我 káⁿ sio-su, 伊一定有某囝, 所以伊無可能放捒 in."
"去問伊 lah," Connie 講.
Duncan 正經去 kā 問. Daniele 講伊已經結婚, 有兩个囡仔, 攏是查埔 ê, 七歲 kap 九歲. M̄-koh, 對 chiah-ê 事實伊無流露啥物感情.
"凡勢, 干焦會當真正結合 ê 人, 才會看起來 ná 孤獨 tī 天地中間," Connie 講. "其他 ê 人攏相綴, in 綴眾人, 像 Giovanni," ... "猶有," 她心 nih án-ne 想, "像你, Duncan, mā 是這種人."
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17.10
The irritation, and the lack of any sympathy in any direction, of Clifford’s letter, had a bad effect on Connie. But she understood it better when she received the following from Mellors:
‘The cat is out of the bag, along with various other pussies. You have heard that my wife Bertha came back to my unloving arms, and took up her abode in the cottage: where, to speak disrespectfully, she smelled a rat, in the shape of a little bottle of Coty. Other evidence she did not find, at least for some days, when she began to howl about the burnt photograph. She noticed the glass and the back-board in the square bedroom. Unfortunately, on the back-board somebody had scribbled little sketches, and the initials, several times repeated: C. S. R. This, however, afforded no clue until she broke into the hut, and found one of your books, an autobiography of the actress Judith, with your name, Constance Stewart Reid, on the front page. After this, for some days she went round loudly saying that my paramour was no less a person than Lady Chatterley herself. The news came at last to the rector, Mr Burroughs, and to Sir Clifford. They then proceeded to take legal steps against my liege lady, who for her part disappeared, having always had a mortal fear of the police.
‘Sir Clifford asked to see me, so I went to him. He talked around things and seemed annoyed with me. Then he asked if I knew that even her ladyship’s name had been mentioned. I said I never listened to scandal, and was surprised to hear this bit from Sir Clifford himself. He said, of course it was a great insult, and I told him there was Queen Mary on a calendar in the scullery, no doubt because Her Majesty formed part of my harem. But he didn’t appreciate the sarcasm. He as good as told me I was a disreputable character also walked about with my breeches’ buttons undone, and I as good as told him he’d nothing to unbutton anyhow, so he gave me the sack, and I leave on Saturday week, and the place thereof shall know me no more.
‘I shall go to London, and my old landlady, Mrs Inger, 17 Coburg Square, will either give me a room or will find one for me.
‘Be sure your sins will find you out, especially if you’re married and her name’s Bertha—‘
There was not a word about herself, or to her. Connie resented this. He might have said some few words of consolation or reassurance. But she knew he was leaving her free, free to go back to Wragby and to Clifford. She resented that too. He need not be so falsely chivalrous. She wished he had said to Clifford: ‘Yes, she is my lover and my mistress and I am proud of it!’ But his courage wouldn’t carry him so far.
So her name was coupled with his in Tevershall! It was a mess. But that would soon die down.
She was angry, with the complicated and confused anger that made her inert. She did not know what to do nor what to say, so she said and did nothing. She went on at Venice just the same, rowing out in the gondola with Duncan Forbes, bathing, letting the days slip by. Duncan, who had been rather depressingly in love with her ten years ago, was in love with her again. But she said to him: ‘I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.’
So Duncan left her alone: really quite pleased to be able to. All the same, he offered her a soft stream of a queer, inverted sort of love. He wanted to be WITH her.
’Have you ever thought,’ he said to her one day, ‘how very little people are connected with one another. Look at Daniele! He is handsome as a son of the sun. But see how alone he looks in his handsomeness. Yet I bet he has a wife and family, and couldn’t possibly go away from them.’
’Ask him,’ said Connie.
Duncan did so. Daniele said he was married, and had two children, both male, aged seven and nine. But he betrayed no emotion over the fact.
’Perhaps only people who are capable of real togetherness have that look of being alone in the universe,’ said Connie. ‘The others have a certain stickiness, they stick to the mass, like Giovanni.’ ... ‘And,’ she thought to herself, ‘like you, Duncan.’
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