18.9 Yi tio̍h lâi chò góa ê model
Duncan, tī lâng chhì-thàm i ê ì-sù ê sî, kian-chhî boeh kìⁿ chit-ê hoān-àn ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú, só͘-tì an-pâi sì ê lâng tī in chhù chò-tīn chia̍h-àm. Duncan sī chi̍t-ê é-tùn, o͘-bah, chió-ōe ê Hamlet hêng ê lâng, thâu-mo͘ tn̂g koh ti̍t, ū bó͘-chióng kî-koài Celtic lâng ê chū-tōa. I ê gē-su̍t-phín chiâu sī tn̂g-kóng (tube), balubu (valve), kńg-lê-á, kap kî-koài ê sek-chhái, sī chhiau hiān-tāi, koh ū kóa khì-sè, sīm-chí ū bó͘-chióng sûn-chhùi ê hêng-thài kap sek-tiāu; m̄-koh Mellors kám-kak he chân-khok koh thó-ià. I m̄-káⁿ án-ne kā kóng, in-ūi Duncan tùi ka-tī ê gē-su̍t khòaⁿ-hoat sī pēⁿ-thài ê, he sī i kò-jîn ê gî-sek, mā sī i kò-jîn ê sìn-ióng.
In teh chham-koan ōe-sek lāi ê tô͘, Duncan he sè-lúi chang-sek ê ba̍k-chiu put-sî khòaⁿ Mellors. I siūⁿ boeh thiaⁿ khòaⁿ chit ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú án-chóaⁿ kóng. I chá tō í-keng chai-iáⁿ Connie hām Hilda ê ì-kiàn.
"Che ná-chhiūⁿ sûn-chhùi ê bô͘-sat," Mellors lo̍h-bóe án-ne kóng; Duncan liāu bē-tio̍h che sī chi̍t-ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú kóng ê ōe.
"Sī siáng hông bô͘-sat?" Hilda mn̄g, léng-léng teh khau-sé.
"Góa! Che bô͘-sat lán-lâng liân-bín ê sim-tn̂g."
Chi̍t chūn khì-hūn ùi gē-su̍t-ka giâ khí-lâi. I thiaⁿ chhut hit-lâng ōe tiong ê khì-hiâm koh khòaⁿ-khin. Iah i pún-sin chin thó-ià lâng kóng liân-bín ê sim-tn̂g. He sī thó-ià ê chêng-hoâi.
Mellors khiā tio̍h, koân koh sán, bīn-sek phî-lô, iōng thiàu-tāng put-tiāⁿ, ná-chhiūⁿ ia̍h-á si̍t teh iô-tāng ê ba̍k-sek khòaⁿ hiah-ê tô͘.
"Hoān-sè hông bô͘-sat ê sī tòng-gōng; to-chêng ê tòng-gōng," gē-su̍t-ka án-ne gê-sé.
"Lí án-ne siūⁿ? Góa siūⁿ, hiah-ê tn̂g-kóng hām khí-lo̍h ê chùn-tāng pí siáⁿ to khah tòng-gōng, koh chiâⁿ to-chêng. In hián-sī bē-chió ê chū-liân hām chiâⁿ chē sîn-keng-chit ê chū-ngó͘ ì-kiàn, che sī góa ê khòaⁿ-hoat."
Koh chi̍t éng ê khì-hūn hō͘ gē-su̍t-ka ê bīn hoán n̂g. M̄-koh, kō͘ chi̍t-chióng tiām-chēng ê hong-sîn-khì, i kā lóng hiòng piah pèng-kòe.
"Góa siūⁿ, lán ē-sái khì pn̄g-thiaⁿ ah-lah," i kóng.
Chū án-ne, in būn-būn lī-khui ōe-sek.
Kapi lim liáu, Duncan kóng:
"Góa oân-choân bē kòa-ì ké-chò Connie ê gín-á ê lāu-pē. M̄-koh, tiâu-kiāⁿ sī, yi tio̍h lâi chò góa ê model. Che sī góa to-nî ê sim-goān, chóng-sī hō͘ yi kī-choa̍t." I án-ne kóng, bē-su soan-pò͘ hóe-hêng ê sím-phòaⁿ-koaⁿ ê o͘-sek koat-tēng.
"Ah!" Mellors kóng. "Lí kan-ta iōng che chò lí ê tiâu-kiāⁿ?"
"Bô m̄-tio̍h! Góa kan-ta chit ê tiâu-kiāⁿ." Gē-su̍t-ka thiau-kang kek chi̍t ê khòaⁿ-khin hit-lâng ê kháu-khì. I kek liáu chiâⁿ kòe-hūn.
"Thōng-hó sī hō͘ góa tâng-chê chò model," Mellors kóng. "Thōng-hó sī goán nn̄g ê chi̍t-cho͘, Vulcan hām Venus tī gē-su̍t bāng ē-bīn. Chò la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú chìn-chêng, góa sī phah-thih--ê."
"To-siā lí," gē-su̍t-ka kóng. "Góa bô hèng-chhù Vulcan ê kak-sek."
"Sīm-chì kā ōe chò tn̂g-kóng koh kā chng-pān?"
Bô ìn-siaⁿ. Gē-su̍t-ka hiau-pai kah bē gián ìn.
Che sī ut-būn ê chhan-hōe, chū án-ne liáu-āu, gē-su̍t-ka tō lóng bô chhap hit-lâng, kan-ta kán-té hām hit nn̄g-ê cha-bó͘ kau-tâm, bē-su tio̍h ùi àm-sàm chū-tōa ê chhim-té ó͘ ōe chhut-lâi kóng.
"Lí bô kah-ì i, m̄-koh i chin-chiàⁿ bô hiah bái. I sī chi̍t-ê hó-sim ê lâng," lī-khui liáu, Connie kái-soeh.
"I sī chi̍t chiah chhia̍k-chhia̍k-tiô ê o͘ káu-á-kiáⁿ," Mellors kóng.
"Hm, i kin-á-ji̍t bô kàu iú-siān."
"Lí boeh khì chò i ê model bô?"
Oh, góa í-keng bē kòa-ì ah. I bē bak tio̍h góa. Góa siáⁿ-mih to bē kòa-ì, chí-iàu che ē-tàng thè lán si̍t-hiān lí hām góa chò-hóe ê seng-oa̍h."
"M̄-koh, i kan-ta ē tī phâng-pò͘ kā lí kô͘ sái."
"Góa put-koán. I kan-ta ē chiàu i tùi góa ê kám-kak khì ōe, che góa bē kòa-ì. Góa put-chún i bak góa, choa̍t-tùi put-chún. M̄-koh i nā siūⁿ-kóng iōng he gē-su̍t chiáu-á ba̍k khòaⁿ, ē-tàng tit-tio̍h siáⁿ, tō hō͘ i khì khòaⁿ. I ē-tàng ùi góa chia chāi i ōe chē-chē ê khang kóng kap koân-kē khí-lo̍h, he sī i ê pi-ai. I khì-hūn lí só͘ kóng ê: kóng he tn̂g-kóng ê gē-su̍t sī to-chêng koh chū-tōa. M̄-koh, lí kóng liáu chiâⁿ tio̍h."
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18.9 她著來做我 ê model
Duncan, tī 人試探伊 ê 意思 ê 時, 堅持欲見這个犯案 ê 獵場看守, 所致安排四个人 tī in 厝做陣食暗. Duncan 是一个矮頓, 烏肉, 少話 ê Hamlet 型 ê 人, 頭毛長 koh 直, 有某種奇怪 Celtic 人 ê 自大. 伊 ê 藝術品 chiâu 是長管 (tube), balubu (valve), 卷螺仔, kap 奇怪 ê 色彩, 是超現代, koh 有寡氣勢, 甚至有某種純粹 ê 形態 kap 色調; m̄-koh Mellors 感覺彼殘酷 koh 討厭. 伊毋敢 án-ne kā 講, 因為 Duncan 對家己 ê 藝術看法是病態 ê, 彼是伊個人 ê 儀式, mā 是伊個人 ê 信仰.
In teh 參觀畫室內 ê 圖, Duncan 彼細蕊棕色 ê 目睭不時看 Mellors. 伊想欲聽看這个獵場看守按怎講. 伊早 tō 已經知影 Connie 和 Hilda ê 意見.
"這 ná 像純粹 ê 謀殺," Mellors 落尾 án-ne 講; Duncan 料袂著這是一个獵場看守講 ê 話.
"是 siáng hông 謀殺?" Hilda 問, 冷冷 teh 剾洗.
"我! 這謀殺咱人憐憫 ê 心腸."
一陣氣恨 ùi 藝術家夯起來. 伊聽出彼人話中 ê 棄嫌 koh 看輕. Iah 伊本身真討厭人講憐憫 ê 心腸. 彼是討厭 ê 情懷.
Mellors 徛著, 懸 koh 瘦, 面色疲勞, 用跳動不定, ná 像蝶仔翼 teh 搖動 ê 目色看 hiah-ê 圖.
"凡勢 hông 謀殺 ê 是侗戇; 多情 ê 侗戇," 藝術家 án-ne gê-sé.
"你 án-ne 想? 我想, hiah-ê 長管和起落 ê 顫動比啥都較侗戇, koh 誠多情. In 顯示袂少 ê 自憐和誠濟神經質 ê 自我意見, 這是我 ê 看法."
Koh 一湧 ê 氣恨予藝術家 ê 面反黃. M̄-koh, kō͘ 一種恬靜 ê 風神氣, 伊 kā 攏向壁 pèng 過.
"我想, 咱會使去飯廳 ah-lah," 伊講.
自 án-ne, in 悶悶離開畫室.
Kapi 啉了, Duncan 講:
"我完全袂掛意假做 Connie ê 囡仔 ê 老爸. M̄-koh, 條件是, 她著來做我 ê model. 這是我多年 ê 心願, 總是予她拒絕." 伊 án-ne 講, 袂輸宣布火刑 ê 審判官 ê 烏色決定.
"Ah!" Mellors 講. "你干焦用這做你 ê 條件?"
"無毋著! 我干焦這个條件." 藝術家刁工激一个看輕彼人 ê 口氣. 伊激了誠過份.
"Thōng-hó 是予我同齊做 model," Mellors 講. "Thōng-hó 是阮兩个一組, Vulcan 和 Venus tī 藝術網下面. 做獵場看守進前, 我是拍鐵 ê."
"多謝你," 藝術家講. "我無興趣 Vulcan ê 角色."
"甚至 kā 畫做長管 koh kā 裝扮?"
無應聲. 藝術家囂俳 kah 袂 gián 應.
這是鬱悶 ê 餐會, 自 án-ne 了後, 藝術家 tō 攏無 chhap 彼人, 干焦簡短和彼兩个查某交談, 袂輸著 ùi 暗毿自大 ê 深底 ó͘ 話出來講.
"你無佮意伊, m̄-koh 伊真正無 hiah 䆀. 伊是一个好心 ê 人," 離開了, Connie 解說.
"伊是一隻 chhia̍k-chhia̍k 趒 ê 烏狗仔囝," Mellors 講.
"Hm, 伊今仔日無夠友善."
"你欲去做伊 ê model 無?"
Oh, 我已經袂掛意 ah. 伊袂沐著我. 我啥物都袂掛意, 只要這會當替咱實現你和我做伙 ê 生活."
"M̄-koh, 伊干焦會 tī 帆布 kā 你糊屎."
"我不管. 伊干焦會照伊對我 ê 感覺去畫, 這我袂掛意. 我不准伊沐我, 絕對不准. M̄-koh 伊若想講用彼藝術鳥仔目看, 會當得著啥, tō 予伊去看. 伊會當 ùi 我遮在伊畫濟濟 ê 空管 kap 懸低起落, 彼是伊 ê 悲哀. 伊氣恨你所講 ê: 講彼長管 ê 藝術是多情 koh 自大. M̄-koh, 你講了誠著."
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18.9
Duncan, when approached, also insisted on seeing the delinquent game-keeper, so there was a dinner, this time in his flat: the four of them. Duncan was a rather short, broad, dark-skinned, taciturn Hamlet of a fellow with straight black hair and a weird Celtic conceit of himself. His art was all tubes and valves and spirals and strange colours, ultra-modern, yet with a certain power, even a certain purity of form and tone: only Mellors thought it cruel and repellent. He did not venture to say so, for Duncan was almost insane on the point of his art: it was a personal cult, a personal religion with him.
They were looking at the pictures in the studio, and Duncan kept his smallish brown eyes on the other man. He wanted to hear what the game-keeper would say. He knew already Connie’s and Hilda’s opinions.
’It is like a pure bit of murder,’ said Mellors at last; a speech Duncan by no means expected from a game-keeper.
’And who is murdered?’ asked Hilda, rather coldly and sneeringly.
’Me! It murders all the bowels of compassion in a man.’
A wave of pure hate came out of the artist. He heard the note of dislike in the other man’s voice, and the note of contempt. And he himself loathed the mention of bowels of compassion. Sickly sentiment!
Mellors stood rather tall and thin, worn-looking, gazing with flickering detachment that was something like the dancing of a moth on the wing, at the pictures.
’Perhaps stupidity is murdered; sentimental stupidity,’ sneered the artist.
’Do you think so? I think all these tubes and corrugated vibrations are stupid enough for anything, and pretty sentimental. They show a lot of self-pity and an awful lot of nervous self-opinion, seems to me.’
In another wave of hate the artist’s face looked yellow. But with a sort of silent HAUTEUR he turned the pictures to the wall.
’I think we may go to the dining-room,’ he said.
And they trailed off, dismally.
After coffee, Duncan said:
’I don’t at all mind posing as the father of Connie’s child. But only on the condition that she’ll come and pose as a model for me. I’ve wanted her for years, and she’s always refused.’ He uttered it with the dark finality of an inquisitor announcing an AUTO DA FE.
’Ah!’ said Mellors. ‘You only do it on condition, then?’
’Quite! I only do it on that condition.’ The artist tried to put the utmost contempt of the other person into his speech. He put a little too much.
’Better have me as a model at the same time,’ said Mellors. ‘Better do us in a group, Vulcan and Venus under the net of art. I used to be a blacksmith, before I was a game-keeper.’
’Thank you,’ said the artist. ‘I don’t think Vulcan has a figure that interests me.’
’Not even if it was tubified and titivated up?’
There was no answer. The artist was too haughty for further words.
It was a dismal party, in which the artist henceforth steadily ignored the presence of the other man, and talked only briefly, as if the words were wrung out of the depths of his gloomy portentousness, to the women.
’You didn’t like him, but he’s better than that, really. He’s really kind,’ Connie explained as they left.
’He’s a little black pup with a corrugated distemper,’ said Mellors.
’No, he wasn’t nice today.’
’And will you go and be a model to him?’
’Oh, I don’t really mind any more. He won’t touch me. And I don’t mind anything, if it paves the way to a life together for you and me.’
’But he’ll only shit on you on canvas.’
’I don’t care. He’ll only be painting his own feelings for me, and I don’t mind if he does that. I wouldn’t have him touch me, not for anything. But if he thinks he can do anything with his owlish arty staring, let him stare. He can make as many empty tubes and corrugations out of me as he likes. It’s his funeral. He hated you for what you said: that his tubified art is sentimental and self-important. But of course it’s true.’
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