Tē 18 Chiong
18.1 Yi kā lāu-pē kóng lāi-chêng
Yi bē-sái koh tiû-tû. Yi koat-tēng pài-la̍k, iā-tō-sī la̍k-kang í-āu, lī-khui Venice, he mā sī i lī-khui Wragby hit kang. Án-ne, yi ē-tàng tī āu lé-pài it kàu London, tō ē-tàng tī hia tú tio̍h i. Yi siá chi̍t tiuⁿ phe, kià khì i tī London ê tē-chí, kiò i kià hôe-phe khì Hartland lí-siā hō͘ yi, pēng-chhiáⁿ tī pài-it àm chhit-tiám khì hia pài-hóng yi.
Tī sim-nih, yi ū chi̍t-chióng kî-koài koh ho̍k-cha̍p ê hùn-nō͘, só͘-ū yi ê hoán-èng lóng bâ-pì ah. Yi kī-choa̍t sìn-jīm Hilda, iah Hilda in-ūi hoán-kám yi tn̂g-sî-kan ê tiām-chēng, khai-sí kap chi̍t-ê Hô-lân cha-bó͘ chhin-bi̍t khí-lâi. Connie chiok chheh chit-chióng cha-bó͘-lâng tiong-kan ba̍t-chiuh-chiuh ê chhin-bi̍t, chit-lō chhin-bi̍t Hilda tian-tò chīn-la̍t tui-kiû.
Malcolm Sià koat-tēng hām Connie chò-hóe kiâⁿ, iah Duncan ē-tàng hām Hilda kiâⁿ. Chit-ê lāu gē-su̍t-ka it-hiòng tùi ka-tī chin hó: i bé nn̄g-ê Tong-hong Te̍k-khoài ê phò͘-ūi, sui-bóng Connie bô kah-ì Hô-hôa Lia̍t-chhia, in-ūi kīn-lâi tī he téng-koân chóng-sī ū chho͘-sông siâ-ok ê khì-hun. Put-jî-kò, chit-chióng chhia kàu Paris ê sî-kan khah kín.
Boeh tńg-chhù kìⁿ thài-thài, Malcolm Sià chóng-sī sim bē pêng-chēng. Che sī ùi tē-it jīm thài-thài ê sî tō ū ê si̍p-koàn. M̄-koh, ū chi̍t-ê siong-ke (松雞, grouse) phah-la̍h-hōe, i tio̍h kóaⁿ tńg-khì. Phôe-hu pha̍k chhiah koh hó-khòaⁿ ê Connie, tiām-tiām chē leh, oân-choân bô teh khòaⁿ kéng-sek.
"Tńg-khì Wragby, tùi lí sī bô-liâu," khòaⁿ yi būn-būn, yin lāu-pē án-ne kóng.
"Góa bô khak-tēng góa ē tńg-khì Wragby," yi hut-jiân án-ne kóng, nâ-sek ê ba̍k-chiu tián tōa-tōa khòaⁿ yin lāu-pē. Lāu-pē ê tōa-lúi nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu hián-chhut liông-sim put-bêng ê lâng ê kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ piáu-chêng.
"Lí ê ì-sù sī, lí boeh tī Paris tòa chi̍t chām?"
"M̄-sī! Góa sī kóng, éng-oán m̄ tńg-khì Wrabgy."
I í-keng ūi-tio̍h ka-tī ê sió būn-tê teh chhau-hoân, taⁿ chin-sim hi-bāng m̄-bián koh sêng-tam yi ê.
"Án-chóaⁿ kóng, hiah-nī tu̍t-jiân?" i mn̄g.
"Góa boeh ū gín-á lah."
Che sī yi tē-it kái tùi lâng kóng chit chân tài, án-ne mā ká-ná piau-sī yi ê sèⁿ-miā se̍h chi̍t-ê oat.
"Lí ná ē chai?" yin lāu-pē mn̄g.
Yi chhiò-chhiò.
"Góa ná ē chai?"
"M̄-koh, tong-jiân he m̄-sī Clifford ê gín-á?
"M̄-sī! Lēng-gōa lâng ê."
Yi chiâⁿ hoaⁿ-hí khòaⁿ i sa-bô-cháng teh kip.
"Góa bat hit-lâng bô?" Malcolm Sià mn̄g.
"M̄-bat! Lí m̄-bat kìⁿ kòe i."
Chi̍t-chūn kú-kú ê tiām-chēng.
"Lí phah-sǹg boeh án-chóaⁿ?"
"Góa mā m̄-chai. Būn-tê tī chia."
"Bô hām Clifford chham-siông?"
"Góa siūⁿ, Clifford ē chiap-siū," Connie kóng. "Téng-kái lí kap i kóng-ōe liáu, i bat kă kóng, góa nā ū gín-á, i bē kòa-ì, chí-iàu góa kín-sīn hêng-sū."
"Tī chit-chióng chêng-hêng, i mā kan-ta ē-tàng kóng lí-sèng ê ōe lah. Nā án-ne, góa siūⁿ tō hó-sè."
"Án-chóaⁿ kóng?" Connie kóng, ná khòaⁿ yin lāu-pē ê ba̍k-chiu. He tōa-tōa ê nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu chiâⁿ sêng yi ka-tī ê, m̄-koh ū tah chi̍t-têng put-an, ná-chhiūⁿ put-an ê gín-á ê piáu-chêng, ū-sî koh ná ut-būn, chū-su, thong-siông sī sim-sek koh kín-sīn.
"Lí ē-tàng sàng Clifford chi̍t-ê Chatterley ka-cho̍k ê hiuⁿ-ian, koh ke lēng-gōa chi̍t-ê lâm-chiok tī Wragby."
Malcolm Sià ê bīn hián-chhut pòaⁿ bah-kám ê bî-chhiò.
M̄-koh, góa siūⁿ góa bô goān-ì," yi kóng.
"Án-chóaⁿ m̄? Kám-kak hām lēng-gōa hit-lâng pak bē-khui? Hm, koai gín-á, thiaⁿ góa kóng si̍t ōe: sè-kài bē thêng-chí. Wragby iáu tī hia, ē kè-sio̍k tī hia. Sè-kài ke-kiám sī kò͘-tēng ê, piáu-bīn siōng, lán tio̍h ài khì phòe-ha̍p i. Su-té hā, góa ê su-jîn ì-kiàn sī, lán ē-sái sûi ka-tī ê ì-sù. Kám-chêng ē piàn-hòa. Lí ē-sái kin-nî kah-ì chi̍t lâng, mê-nî ōaⁿ pa̍t-lâng. M̄-koh, Wragby iáu sī tī hia. Chí-iàu Wragby tòe lí, lí mā tio̍h tòe Wragby. Án-ne liáu, chiah chiàu lí ê ì-sù khì chò. M̄-koh, lí nā kap i toān-choa̍t, lí bē ū siáⁿ hó-chhù. Lí mā boeh, lí ē-sái toān-choa̍t. Lí ū to̍k-li̍p ê siu-ji̍p, che sī ûi-it bē hō͘ lí sit-bōng ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. M̄-koh, lí mā bē tit-tio̍h siáⁿ-mih hó-chhù. Lâu chi̍t-ê sió lâm-chiok tī Wragby. Che sī sim-sek ê tāi-chì."
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第 18 章
18.1 她 kā 老爸講內情
她袂使 koh 躊躕. 她決定拜六, 也 tō 是六工以後, 離開 Venice, 彼 mā 是伊離開 Wragby 彼工. Án-ne, 她會當 tī 後禮拜一到 London, tō 會當 tī 遐拄著伊. 她寫一張批, 寄去伊 tī London ê 地址, 叫伊寄回批去 Hartland 旅社予她, 並且 tī 拜一暗七點去遐拜訪她.
Tī 心 nih, 她有一種奇怪 koh 複雜 ê 憤怒, 所有她 ê 反應攏麻痺 ah. 她拒絕信任 Hilda, iah Hilda 因為反感她長時間 ê 恬靜, 開始 kap 一个荷蘭查某親密起來. Connie 足慼這種查某人中間密喌喌 ê 親密, chit-lō 親密 Hilda 顛倒盡力追求.
Malcolm Sià 決定和 Connie 做伙行, iah Duncan 會當和 Hilda 行. 這个老藝術家一向對家己真好: 伊買兩个東方特快 ê 舖位, 雖罔 Connie bô 佮意豪華列車, 因為近來 tī 彼頂懸總是有粗倯邪惡 ê 氣氛. 不而過, 這種車到 Paris ê 時間 khah 緊.
欲轉厝見太太, Malcolm Sià 總是心袂平靜. 這是 ùi 第一任太太 ê 時 tō 有 ê 習慣. M̄-koh, 有一个 siong-ke (松雞, grouse) 拍獵會, 伊著趕轉去. 皮膚曝赤 koh 好看 ê Connie, 恬恬坐 leh, 完全無 teh 看景色.
"轉去 Wragby, 對你是無聊," 看她悶悶, 姻老爸 án-ne 講.
"我無確定我會轉去 Wragby," 她忽然 án-ne 講, 藍色 ê 目睭展大大看姻老爸. 老爸 ê 大蕊藍色目睭顯出良心不明 ê 人 ê 驚惶表情.
"你 ê 意思是, 你欲 tī Paris 蹛一站?"
"毋是! 我是講, 永遠毋轉去 Wrabgy."
伊已經為著家己 ê 小問題 teh 操煩, 今真心希望毋免 koh 承擔她 ê.
"按怎講, hiah-nī 突然?" 伊問.
"我欲有囡仔 lah."
這是她第一改對人講這層代, án-ne mā ká-ná 標示她 ê 性命踅一个斡.
"你那會知?" 姻老爸問.
她笑笑.
"我那會知?"
"M̄-koh, 當然彼毋是 Clifford ê 囡仔?
"毋是! 另外人 ê."
她誠歡喜看伊捎無 cháng teh 急.
"我 bat 彼人無?" Malcolm Sià 問.
"M̄-bat! 你 m̄-bat 見過伊."
一陣久久 ê 恬靜.
"你拍算欲按怎?"
"我 mā 毋知. 問題 tī 遮."
"無和 Clifford 參詳?"
"我想, Clifford 會接受," Connie 講. "頂改你 kap 伊講話了, 伊 bat kă 講, 我若有囡仔, 伊袂掛意, 只要我謹慎行事."
"Tī 這種情形, 伊 mā 干焦會當講理性 ê 話 lah. 若 án-ne, 我想 tō 好勢."
"按怎講?" Connie 講, ná 看姻老爸 ê 目睭. 彼大大 ê 藍色目睭誠成她家己 ê, m̄-koh 有貼一重不安, ná 像不安 ê 囡仔 ê 表情, 有時 koh ná 鬱悶, 自私, 通常是心適 koh 謹慎.
"你會當送 Clifford 一个 Chatterley 家族 ê 香煙, koh 加另外一个男爵 tī Wragby."
Malcolm Sià ê 面顯出半肉感 ê 微笑.
M̄-koh, 我想我無願意," 她講.
"按怎毋? 感覺和另外彼人剝袂開? Hm, 乖囡仔, 聽我講實話: 世界袂停止. Wragby 猶 tī 遐, 會繼續 tī 遐. 世界加減是固定 ê, 表面上, 咱著愛去配合伊. 私底下, 我 ê 私人意見是, 咱會使隨家己 ê 意思. 感情會變化. 你會使今年佮意一人, 明年換別人. M̄-koh, Wragby 猶是 tī 遐. 只要 Wragby 綴你, 你 mā 著綴 Wragby. Án-ne 了, 才照你 ê 意思去做. M̄-koh, 你若 kap 伊斷絕, 你袂有啥好處. 你 mā 欲, 你會使斷絕. 你有獨立 ê 收入, 這是唯一袂予你失望 ê 物件. M̄-koh, 你 mā 袂得著啥物好處. 留一个小男爵 tī Wragby. 這是心適 ê 代誌."
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Chapter 18
18.1
She had to make up her mind what to do. She would leave Venice on the Saturday that he was leaving Wragby: in six days’ time. This would bring her to London on the Monday following, and she would then see him. She wrote to him to the London address, asking him to send her a letter to Hartland’s hotel, and to call for her on the Monday evening at seven.
Inside herself she was curiously and complicatedly angry, and all her responses were numb. She refused to confide even in Hilda, and Hilda, offended by her steady silence, had become rather intimate with a Dutch woman. Connie hated these rather stifling intimacies between women, intimacy into which Hilda always entered ponderously.
Sir Malcolm decided to travel with Connie, and Duncan could come on with Hilda. The old artist always did himself well: he took berths on the Orient Express, in spite of Connie’s dislike of TRAINS DE LUXE, the atmosphere of vulgar depravity there is aboard them nowadays. However, it would make the journey to Paris shorter.
Sir Malcolm was always uneasy going back to his wife. It was habit carried over from the first wife. But there would be a house-party for the grouse, and he wanted to be well ahead. Connie, sunburnt and handsome, sat in silence, forgetting all about the landscape.
’A little dull for you, going back to Wragby,’ said her father, noticing her glumness.
’I’m not sure I shall go back to Wragby,’ she said, with startling abruptness, looking into his eyes with her big blue eyes. His big blue eyes took on the frightened look of a man whose social conscience is not quite clear.
’You mean you’ll stay on in Paris a while?’
’No! I mean never go back to Wragby.’
He was bothered by his own little problems, and sincerely hoped he was getting none of hers to shoulder.
’How’s that, all at once?’ he asked.
’I’m going to have a child.’
It was the first time she had uttered the words to any living soul, and it seemed to mark a cleavage in her life.
’How do you know?’ said her father.
She smiled.
’How SHOULD I know?’
’But not Clifford’s child, of course?’
’No! Another man’s.’
She rather enjoyed tormenting him.
’Do I know the man?’ asked Sir Malcolm.
’No! You’ve never seen him.’
There was a long pause.
’And what are your plans?’
’I don’t know. That’s the point.’
’No patching it up with Clifford?’
’I suppose Clifford would take it,’ said Connie. ‘He told me, after last time you talked to him, he wouldn’t mind if I had a child, so long as I went about it discreetly.’
’Only sensible thing he could say, under the circumstances. Then I suppose it’ll be all right.’
’In what way?’ said Connie, looking into her father’s eyes. They were big blue eyes rather like her own, but with a certain uneasiness in them, a look sometimes of an uneasy little boy, sometimes a look of sullen selfishness, usually good-humoured and wary.
’You can present Clifford with an heir to all the Chatterleys, and put another baronet in Wragby.’
Sir Malcolm’s face smiled with a half-sensual smile.
’But I don’t think I want to,’ she said.
’Why not? Feeling entangled with the other man? Well! If you want the truth from me, my child, it’s this. The world goes on. Wragby stands and will go on standing. The world is more or less a fixed thing and, externally, we have to adapt ourselves to it. Privately, in my private opinion, we can please ourselves. Emotions change. You may like one man this year and another next. But Wragby still stands. Stick by Wragby as far as Wragby sticks by you. Then please yourself. But you’ll get very little out of making a break. You can make a break if you wish. You have an independent income, the only thing that never lets you down. But you won’t get much out of it. Put a little baronet in Wragby. It’s an amusing thing to do.’
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