19.3 Clifford 堅持 Connie 著轉來

19.3 Clifford kian-chhî Connie tio̍h tńg-lâi

Che sī Bolton Tt ê sèng-lī. "I hoat-tián liáu chiâⁿ hó!" yi ka-tī án-ne kóng kah chin tek-ì. "He sī góa chò kàu--ê! Láu-si̍t kóng, nā hām Chatterley Hj, i éng-oán to bô chit-chióng hoat-tián. Yi m̄-sī hit-chióng ē ōng ang ê cha-bó͘. Yi siuⁿ-kòe kò͘ ka-tī."

Kāng hit sî-chūn, tī yi ku-koài ê lú-sèng lêng-hûn ê bó͘ chi̍t ê kak-lo̍h, yi iū-koh chiâⁿ khòaⁿ i bô, oàn-chheh i! Chāi yi khòaⁿ, i sī poa̍h-tó ê iá-siù, giāu-giāu-sô ê koài-bu̍t. Yi chi̍t-bīn chīn-la̍t pang-chān koh kó͘-lē i, iū-koh chi̍t-bīn tī yi chū-lâi kiān-choân lú-sèng siōng iâu-oán ê kak-lo̍h, iōng bû-hān ê iá-bân kap chân-khok khòaⁿ-khin i. Yi kám-kak liân chi̍t-ê lô͘-môa to khah iâⁿ kòe i.

I tùi Connie ê thāi-tō͘ chin kî-koài. I kian-chhî boeh koh khòaⁿ yi. I mā kian-chhî, yi tio̍h tńg-lâi Wragby. Iú-koan chit chi̍t tiám, i sim-ì kian-koat, choa̍t-tùi bē kái-piàn. Connie bat tiong-si̍t tah-èng kòe i, kóng ē koh tńg-lâi Wragby.

"M̄-koh, án-ne kám ū-hāu?" Bolton Tt kóng. "Lí kám bē-tàng pàng yi soah, hō͘ yi khì?"

"M̄! Yi kóng, yi ē tńg-lâi, án-ne yi tiāⁿ-tio̍h ài tńg-lâi."

Bolton Tt bô koh hoán-tùi i. Yi chai, yi teh chhú-lí ê sī siáⁿ-mih.

"Góa m̄-bián kā lí kóng, lí ê phe tùi góa ê éng-hióng sī án-chóaⁿ," i siá-phe khì London hō͘ Connie. "Hoān-sè lí nā siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, lí tō chai, m̄-koh lí tiāⁿ-tio̍h m̄-khéng khiā tī góa ê li̍p-tiûⁿ lâi siūⁿ.

"Góa ê hôe-tap kan-ta ū chi̍t kù ōe: Tī góa ē-tàng koat-tēng chìn-chêng, góa tio̍h chhin-sin tī Wragby kìⁿ lí chi̍t bīn. Lí bat tiong-si̍t tah-èng boeh tńg-lâi Wragby, lí tio̍h si̍t-hiān lí só͘ ín--góa--ê. Bô chhin-sin tī chia, tī chèng-siông ê chōng-hóng hā kìⁿ tio̍h lí, góa siáⁿ to bē siong-sìn, siáⁿ to bē liáu-kái. Góa bián kóng lí mā chai, chia bô lâng hoâi-gî siáⁿ, só͘-í lí tńg-lâi sī chin chèng-siông. Tī lán kā tāi-chì thó-lūn liáu, lí nā kám-kak lí ê sim-ì bô kái-piàn, kàu-sî tong-jiân lán mā ē-sái lâi kóng tiâu-kiāⁿ."

Connie kā phe hō͘ Mellors khòaⁿ.

"I boeh khai-sí pò-ho̍k lí ah," i ná kóng, ná kā phe kau hêng yi.

Connie bô chhut-siaⁿ. Yi sió-khóa tio̍h-kiaⁿ, hoat-hiān yi ē kiaⁿ Clifford. Yi m̄-káⁿ koh óa-kīn i. Yi kiaⁿ i, bē-su i sī ok-mô͘, ū hûi-hiám.

"Góa tio̍h án-chóaⁿ chò?" yi mn̄g.

"Mài chhap i, jû-kó lí bô siūⁿ boeh chò siáⁿ."

Yi hôe-phe, siūⁿ boeh the-sî Clifford ê iau-kiû. I koh siá-phe lâi: "Lí taⁿ nā m̄ tńg-lâi Wragby, góa tō tòng-chò chóng ū chi̍t-kang lí ē tńg-lâi, góa tō chiàu án-ne hêng-tōng. Góa ē it-chhè chiàu-siông, tī chia tán lí, tán 50 nî mā bô iàu-kín."

Yi khì hō͘ kiaⁿ tio̍h. Che sī chi̍t-chióng im-hiám ê khióng-hat. Yi chai, i kóng-kàu chò-kàu. I m̄ kap yi pān lī-hun, hit-ê gín-á tō ē sī i ê, tî-hui yi ē-tàng ū pān-hoat chèng-bêng he m̄-sī i ê.

Keng-kòe chi̍t tōaⁿ sî-kan ê hoân-ló kap put-an, yi koat-tēng boeh khì Wragby. Hilda ē tâng-chê khì. Yi kià-phe hō͘ Clifford chai. I kā hôe-phe: Góa bô hoan-gêng lín a-chí lâi, m̄-koh góa mā bē kìm-chí yi ji̍p-mn̂g. Góa siong-sìn sī yi siàn-tōng lí hòng-khì lí ê chek-jīm kap gī-bū, só͘-í, m̄-bián kî-thāi góa ē hoaⁿ-hí khòaⁿ tio̍h yi.

Yin chhut-hoat khì Wragby, kàu-ūi ê sî Clifford tú-hó bô tī chhù, Bolton Tt chhut-lâi gêng-chiap yin.

"Oh, Hu-jîn ah, che m̄-sī lán só͘ kî-thāi ê hoaⁿ-hí tńg-chhù, sī m̄-sī ah!" yi kóng.

"Che kám m̄-sī?" Connie kóng.

Ah, chit-ê cha-bó͘ chai-iáⁿ ah! Gōa-chē sin-lô chai chit-ê tāi-chì ah?

Yi kiâⁿ-ji̍p chhù-lāi, kui-sin-khu lóng teh oàn-chheh chit-keng chhù. Kui-ê koân-tōa, khang-khoah ê só͘-chāi lóng ná-chhiūⁿ ok-mô͘ teh ui-hia̍p yi. Yi í-keng m̄-sī chia ê chú-lâng, yi sī chia ê siū-hāi-chiá.

"Tī chia, góa bô hoat-tō͘ lâu siuⁿ kú," yi sè-siaⁿ kā Hilda kóng, hiàn-chhut kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ.

Kiâⁿ-ji̍p ka-tī ê pâng-keng, ná bô siáⁿ sū án-ne koh chìn-ji̍p ka-tī ê tē-pôaⁿ, che hō͘ yi chiok kan-khó͘. Tī Wragby chhiûⁿ-á lāi, ta̍k hun-cheng yi to oàn-chheh.

It-ti̍t kàu lo̍h-lâu chia̍h-àm, yin chiah tú-tio̍h Clifford. I chhēng lé-ho̍k, kat o͘-sek nekutái, thāi-tō͘ léng-tām, kek kah chin sin-sū ê khoán. Chia̍h-pn̄g ê sî, i chiok bûn-ngá, ín-niá chi̍t tiûⁿ lé-māu-tek ê kau-tâm, m̄-koh lóng ká-ná ū chhò-loān ê kháu-khùi.

"Sin-lô chai-iáⁿ gōa-chē?" hit-ê cha-bó͘ chhut-khì liáu, Connie mn̄g.

"Chai lí ê sim-ì? Lóng iáu m̄-chai."

"Bolton Tt chai-iáⁿ."

I bīn-sek piàn ah.

"Bolton Tt, chèng-khak kóng, m̄-sī chi̍t-ê sin-lô," i kóng.

"Oh, he tùi góa bô chha."

--

19.3 Clifford 堅持 Connie 著轉來

這是 Bolton Tt ê 勝利. "伊發展了誠好!" 她家己 án-ne 講 kah 真得意. "彼是我做到 ê! 老實講, 若和 Chatterley Hj, 伊永遠都無這種發展. 她毋是彼種會旺翁 ê 查某. 她 siuⁿ 過顧家己."

仝彼時陣, tī 她龜怪 ê 女性靈魂 ê 某一个角落, 她又 koh 誠看伊無, 怨慼伊! 在她看, 伊是跋倒 ê 野獸, ngia̍uh-ngia̍uh 趖 ê 怪物. 她一面盡力幫贊 koh 鼓勵伊, 又 koh 一面 tī 她自來健全女性上遙遠 ê 角落, 用無限 ê 野蠻 kap 殘酷看輕伊. 她感覺連一个鱸鰻都較贏過伊.

伊對 Connie ê 態度真奇怪. 伊堅持欲 koh 看她. 伊 mā 堅持, 她著轉來 Wragby. 有關這一點, 伊心意堅決, 絕對袂改變. Connie bat 忠實答應過伊, 講會 koh 轉來 Wragby.

"M̄-koh, án-ne 敢有效?" Bolton Tt 講. "你敢袂當放她煞, 予她去?"

"毋! 她講, 她會轉來, án-ne 她定著愛轉來."

Bolton Tt 無 koh 反對伊. 她知, 她 teh 處理 ê 是啥物.

"我毋免 kā 你講, 你 ê 批對我 ê 影響是按怎," 伊寫批去 London 予 Connie. "凡勢你若想看覓, 你 tō 知, m̄-koh 你定著毋肯徛 tī 我 ê 立場來想.

"我 ê 回答干焦有一句話: Tī 我會當決定進前, 我著親身 tī Wragby 見你一面. 你 bat 忠實答應欲轉來 Wragby, 你著實現你所允我 ê. 無親身 tī 遮, tī 正常 ê 狀況下見著你, 我啥都袂相信, 啥都袂了解. 我免講你 mā 知, 遮無人懷疑啥, 所以你轉來是真正常. Tī 咱 kā 代誌討論了, 你若感覺你 ê 心意無改變, 到時當然咱 mā 會使來講條件."

Connie kā 批予 Mellors 看.

"伊欲開始報復你 ah," 伊 ná 講, ná kā 批交還她.

Connie 無出聲. 她小可著驚, 發現她會驚 Clifford. 她毋敢 koh 倚近伊. 她驚伊, 袂輸伊是惡魔, 有危險.

"我著按怎做?" 她問.

"莫 chhap 伊, 如果你無想欲做啥."

她回批, 想欲推辭 Clifford ê 要求. 伊 koh 寫批來: "你今若毋轉來 Wragby, 我 tō 當做總有一工你會轉來, 我 tō 照 án-ne 行動. 我會一切照常, tī 遮等你, 等 50 年 mā 無要緊."

她去予驚著. 這是一種陰險 ê 恐嚇. 她知, 伊講到做到. 伊毋 kap 她辦離婚, 彼个囡仔 tō 會是伊 ê, 除非她會當有辦法證明彼毋是伊 ê.

經過一段時間 ê 煩惱 kap 不安, 她決定欲去 Wragby. Hilda 會同齊去. 她寄批予 Clifford 知. 伊 kā 回批: 我無歡迎恁阿姊來, m̄-koh 我 mā 袂禁止她入門. 我相信是她煽動你放棄你 ê 責任 kap 義務, 所以, 毋免期待我會歡喜看著她.

姻出發去 Wragby, 到位 ê 時 Clifford 拄好無 tī 厝, Bolton Tt 出來迎接姻.

"Oh, 夫人 ah, 這毋是咱所期待 ê 歡喜轉厝, 是毋是 ah!" 她講.

"這敢毋是?" Connie 講.

Ah, 這个查某知影 ah! 偌濟辛勞知這个代誌 ah?

她行入厝內, 規身軀攏 teh 怨慼這間厝. 規个懸大, 空闊 ê 所在攏 ná 像惡魔 teh 威脅她. 她已經毋是遮 ê 主人, 她是遮 ê 受害者.

"Tī 遮, 我無法度留 siuⁿ 久," 她細聲 kā Hilda 講, 現出驚惶.

行入家己 ê 房間, ná 無啥事 án-ne koh 進入家己 ê 地盤, 這予她足艱苦. Tī Wragby 牆仔內, 逐分鐘她都怨慼.

一直到落樓食暗, 姻才拄著 Clifford. 伊穿禮服, 結烏色 nekutái, 態度冷淡, 激 kah 真紳士 ê 款. 食飯 ê 時, 伊足文雅, 引領一場禮貌的 ê 交談, m̄-koh 攏 ká-ná 有錯亂 ê 口 khùi.

"辛勞知影偌濟?" 彼个查某出去了, Connie 問.

"知你 ê 心意? 攏猶毋知."

"Bolton Tt 知影."

伊面色變 ah.

"Bolton Tt, 正確講, 毋是一个辛勞," 伊講.

"Oh, 彼對我無差."

--

19.3

And in this Mrs Bolton triumphed. ‘How he’s getting on!’ she would say to herself in pride. ‘And that’s my doing! My word, he’d never have got on like this with Lady Chatterley. She was not the one to put a man forward. She wanted too much for herself.’

At the same time, in some corner of her weird female soul, how she despised him and hated him! He was to her the fallen beast, the squirming monster. And while she aided and abetted him all she could, away in the remotest corner of her ancient healthy womanhood she despised him with a savage contempt that knew no bounds. The merest tramp was better than he.

His behaviour with regard to Connie was curious. He insisted on seeing her again. He insisted, moreover, on her coming to Wragby. On this point he was finally and absolutely fixed. Connie had promised to come back to Wragby, faithfully.

’But is it any use?’ said Mrs Bolton. ‘Can’t you let her go, and be rid of her?’

’No! She said she was coming back, and she’s got to come.’

Mrs Bolton opposed him no more. She knew what she was dealing with.

‘I needn’t tell you what effect your letter has had on me,’ he wrote to Connie to London. ‘Perhaps you can imagine it if you try, though no doubt you won’t trouble to use your imagination on my behalf.

‘I can only say one thing in answer: I must see you personally, here at Wragby, before I can do anything. You promised faithfully to come back to Wragby, and I hold you to the promise. I don’t believe anything nor understand anything until I see you personally, here under normal circumstances. I needn’t tell you that nobody here suspects anything, so your return would be quite normal. Then if you feel, after we have talked things over, that you still remain in the same mind, no doubt we can come to terms.’

Connie showed this letter to Mellors.


’He wants to begin his revenge on you,’ he said, handing the letter back.


Connie was silent. She was somewhat surprised to find that she was afraid of Clifford. She was afraid to go near him. She was afraid of him as if he were evil and dangerous.

’What shall I do?’ she said.


’Nothing, if you don’t want to do anything.’

She replied, trying to put Clifford off. He answered: 'If you don’t come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same, and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years.'

She was frightened. This was bullying of an insidious sort. She had no doubt he meant what he said. He would not divorce her, and the child would be his, unless she could find some means of establishing its illegitimacy.

After a time of worry and harassment, she decided to go to Wragby. Hilda would go with her. She wrote this to Clifford. He replied:
 I shall not welcome your sister, but I shall not deny her the door. I have no doubt she has connived at your desertion of your duties and responsibilities, so do not expect me to show pleasure in seeing her.

They went to Wragby. Clifford was away when they arrived. Mrs Bolton received them.

’Oh, your Ladyship, it isn’t the happy home-coming we hoped for, is it!’ she said.

’Isn’t it?’ said Connie.


So this woman knew! How much did the rest of the servants know or suspect?


She entered the house, which now she hated with every fibre in her body. The great, rambling mass of a place seemed evil to her, just a menace over her. She was no longer its mistress, she was its victim.

’I can’t stay long here,’ she whispered to Hilda, terrified.

And she suffered going into her own bedroom, re-entering into possession as if nothing had happened. She hated every minute inside the Wragby walls.

They did not meet Clifford till they went down to dinner. He was dressed, and with a black tie: rather reserved, and very much the superior gentleman. He behaved perfectly politely during the meal and kept a polite sort of conversation going: but it seemed all touched with insanity.

’How much do the servants know?’ asked Connie, when the woman was out of the room.

’Of your intentions? Nothing whatsoever.’

’Mrs Bolton knows.’

He changed colour.


’Mrs Bolton is not exactly one of the servants,’ he said.

’Oh, I don’t mind.’


--