18.2 伊 tī 金雞公 kapi 廳外口等

18.2 I tī Kim-ke-kang kapi thiaⁿ gōa-kháu tán

Malcolm Sià chē hiòng-āu, koh bî-chhiò. Connie bô ìn siáⁿ.

"Góa hi-bāng lí chóng-sǹg ū chi̍t-ê chin-chiàⁿ ê cha-po͘ lâng," kòe chi̍t-khùn, i kā kóng, bah-kám giâ-giâ.

"Góa ū. Būn-tê tī chia. Sè-siōng ê chin-lâm-chú bô chē," yi kóng.

"Bô chē, Thiⁿ ah!" i ná siūⁿ. "Chin ê, bô chē! Hm, chhin-ài-ê, khòaⁿ lí án-ne, i sī chi̍t-ê hēng-hok ê lâng. I tiāⁿ-tio̍h bē kā lí jiá mâ-hoân hoⁿh?"

"Oh, bē lah! I hō͘ góa oân-choân ê chū-iû."

"Án-ne hó! Án-ne hó! Chin lâm-chú tio̍h án-ne."

Malcolm Sià sim-ni̍h hoaⁿ-hí. Connie sī i ê bêng-chu, i it-hiòng kah-ì yi ê cha-bó͘ sèng-keh. Yi bô chhiūⁿ Hilda hiah-nī chhiūⁿ yin lāu-bú. Iah i it-hiòng mā bô kah-ì Clifford. Só͘-tì, i chin hoaⁿ-hí, tō tùi yi chin un-chêng, bē-su hit-ê bōe seⁿ ê gín-á sī i ê.

I hām yi chē chhia kàu Hartland lí-koán, tán yi an-tah hó-sè, i chiah khì ka-tī ê klub. Yi kī-choa̍t i àm-sî koh lâi pôe yi.

Yi chiap tio̍h chi̍t tiuⁿ Mellors ê phe.

"Góa bē lâi lí ê lí-koán, m̄-koh góa ē tī chhit-tiám tī Adam Ke ê Kim Ke-kang (Golden Cock) kapi thiaⁿ gōa-kháu tán lí."

I khiā tī hia, koân koh sán-thiu, chhēng àm-sek po̍h-pò͘ ê chèng-sek lé-ho̍k, kap pêng-sî chin bô kāng. I ū chū-jiân ê sîn-thài, m̄-koh bô ha̍h yi ê kai-kip ê hit-chióng chong-pān. M̄-koh, yi khòaⁿ ē chhut, i khì toh lóng ē-sái. In-ūi i ū thian-seng ê khì-chit, he pí chong-pān chhut-lâi ê koh-khah hó.

"Ah, lí lâi ah! Lí ê khì-sek chin hó!"

"Sī ah! M̄-koh lí ê bô hó."

Yi put-an khòaⁿ i ê bīn. I piàn khah sán, bīn-kut piàn khah giàng. M̄-koh i ê ba̍k-chiu tùi yi bî-chhiò, kap i chò-hóe hō͘ yi kám-kak chū-chāi. Hut-jiân-kan, yi siūⁿ boeh pó-chhî bí-hó gōa-piáu ê kin-tiuⁿ sang khì ah. Ná-chhiūⁿ ū siáⁿ-mih ùi i ê sin-khu lâu chhut-lâi, hō͘ yi sim-lāi kám-kak an-jiân, hoaⁿ-hí, chū-chāi. Yi he cha-bó͘ tui-kiû hēng-hok ê bín-kám pún-lêng, taⁿ sûi tō chai-iáⁿ. "I nā tī-leh, góa tō hoaⁿ-hí!" Só͘-ū tī Venice ê ji̍t-kng iáu bô-kàu hō͘ yi chit-chióng lāi-sim ê khai-hòng kap un-loán.

"He sī m̄-sī chin khióng-pò͘?" in tī toh-á tùi-bīn chē lo̍h liáu, yi án-ne mn̄g. I siuⁿ sán ah; taⁿ yi khòaⁿ tio̍h. I ê chhiú ná yi só͘ chai ê, chhiūⁿ khùn-khì ê tōng-bu̍t, ū chi̍t-chióng sin-kî, bōng-hêng ê khin-sang. Yi chin siūⁿ boeh khan he chhiú khí-lâi chim. M̄-koh yi m̄-káⁿ.

"Lâng chóng-sī chin khióng-pò͘," i kóng.

"Lí ū chin kan-khó͘ bô?"

"Góa chin kan-khó͘, góa tio̍h kan-khó͘. M̄-koh góa chai, kan-khó͘ sī gōng."

"Lí ū kám-kak ná-chhiūⁿ káu ê bóe hông pa̍k tâng-kóng-á? Clifford kóng lí kám-kak ná án-ne."

I khòaⁿ yi. Chit-ê sî-kan yi kóng che, sī chin chân-jím: in-ūi i ê chū-chun bat siū tio̍h khó͘-chhó͘.

"Góa siūⁿ, i bat án-ne kóng," i kóng.

Yi kin-pún m̄-chai i tùi bú-jio̍k oàn-hūn kah kiông boeh lia̍h-kông ê khó͘-chhó͘.

Nn̄g lâng tiām-tiām chi̍t tōa khùn.

"Lí ū hoâi-liām góa bô?" yi mn̄g.

"Góa hoaⁿ-hí, lí bô tú tio̍h he."

Nn̄g lâng koh tiām-tiām.

"M̄-koh, pa̍t-lâng kám siong-sìn lí hām góa ê tāi-chì?" yi mn̄g.

"Bē! Góa choa̍t-tùi bô siūⁿ-kóng in ē siong-sìn."

"Clifford siong-sìn bô?"

"Góa siūⁿ, i bô. I kā he khǹg leh, bô-ài siūⁿ i. M̄-koh, mā in-ūi án-ne, i bô-ài koh khòaⁿ tio̍h góa."

"Góa tit-boeh ū gín-á ah."

I kui-bīn, kui-sin oân-oân choân-choân lóng bô piáu-chêng. I kō͘ àm-ut ê ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ yi, hit-lō piáu-chêng yi bē liáu-kái: bē-su sio o͘-sek hóe-iáⁿ ê iu-lêng teh khòaⁿ yi.

"Kín kóng, lí chin hoaⁿ-hí!" yi khún-kiû, ná so i ê chhiú. Yi khòaⁿ tio̍h i phû chhut bó͘-chióng hoaⁿ-hí ê piáu-chêng. M̄-koh, he sûi hō͘ yi só͘ bē-tàng liáu-kái ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ pha lo̍h-khì.

"He sī chiong-lâi," i kóng.

"M̄-koh, lí kám bô hoaⁿ-hí?" yi kian-chhî koh mn̄g.

"Góa tùi chiong-lâi chin bô sìn-jīm."

"M̄-koh, lí m̄-bián hoân-ló ū siáⁿ chek-jīm. Clifford ē kā tòng-chò i ka-tī ê kiáⁿ, i ē chin hoaⁿ-hí."

--

18.2 伊 tī 金雞公 kapi 廳外口等

Malcolm Sià 坐向後, koh 微笑. Connie 無應啥.

"我希望你總算有一个真正 ê 查埔人," 過一睏, 伊 kā 講, 肉感 giâ-giâ.

"我有. 問題 tī 遮. 世上 ê 真男子無濟," 她講.

"無濟, 天 ah!" 伊 ná 想. "真 ê, 無濟! Hm, 親愛 ê, 看你 án-ne, 伊是一个幸福 ê 人. 伊定著袂 kā 你惹麻煩 hoⁿh?"

"Oh, 袂 lah! 伊予我完全 ê 自由."

"Án-ne 好! Án-ne 好! 真男子著 án-ne."

Malcolm Sià 心 ni̍h 歡喜. Connie 是伊 ê 明珠, 伊一向佮意她 ê 查某性格. 她無像 Hilda hiah-nī 像姻老母. Iah 伊一向 mā 無佮意 Clifford. 所致, 伊真歡喜, tō 對她真溫情, 袂輸彼个未生 ê 囡仔是伊 ê.

伊和她坐車到 Hartland 旅館, 等她安搭好勢, 伊才去家己 ê klub. 她拒絕伊暗時 koh 來陪她.

她接著一張 Mellors ê 批.

"我袂來你 ê 旅館, m̄-koh 我會 tī 七點 tī Adam 街 ê 金雞公 (Golden Cock) kapi 廳外口等你."

伊徛 tī 遐, 懸 koh 瘦抽, 穿暗色薄布 ê 正式禮服, kap 平時真無仝. 伊有自然 ê 神態, m̄-koh 無合她 ê 階級 ê 彼種裝扮. M̄-koh, 她看會出, 伊去佗攏會使. 因為伊有天生 ê 氣質, 彼比裝扮出來 ê koh 較好.

"Ah, 你來 ah! 你 ê 氣色真好!"

"是 ah! M̄-koh 你 ê 無好."

她不安看伊 ê 面. 伊變較瘦, 面骨變較 giàng. M̄-koh 伊 ê 目睭對她微笑, kap 伊做伙予她感覺自在. 忽然間, 她想欲保持美好外表 ê 緊張鬆去 ah. Ná 像有啥物 ùi 伊 ê 身軀流出來, 予她心內感覺安然, 歡喜, 自在. 她彼查某追求幸福 ê 敏感本能, 今隨 tō 知影. "伊若 tī-leh, 我 tō 歡喜!" 所有 tī Venice ê 日光猶無夠予她這種內心 ê 開放 kap 溫暖.

"彼是毋是真恐怖?" in tī 桌仔對面坐落了, 她 án-ne 問. 伊 siuⁿ 瘦 ah; 今她看著. 伊 ê 手 ná 她所知 ê, 像睏去 ê 動物, 有一種新奇, 忘形 ê 輕鬆. 她真想欲牽彼手起來唚. M̄-koh 她毋敢.

"人總是真恐怖," 伊講.

"你有真艱苦無?"

"我真艱苦, 我著艱苦. M̄-koh 我知, 艱苦是戇."

"你有感覺 ná 像狗 ê 尾 hông 縛銅管仔? Clifford 講你感覺 ná án-ne."

伊看她. 這个時間她講這, 是真殘忍: 因為伊 ê 自尊 bat 受著苦楚.

"我想, 伊 bat án-ne 講," 伊講.

她根本毋知伊對侮辱怨恨 kah 強欲掠狂 ê 苦楚.

兩人恬恬一大睏.

"你有懷念我無?" 她問.

"我歡喜, 你無拄著彼."

兩人 koh 恬恬.

"M̄-koh, 別人敢相信你和我 ê 代誌?" 她問.

"袂! 我絕對無想講 in 會相信."

"Clifford 相信無?"

"我想, 伊無. 伊 kā 彼囥 leh, 無愛想伊. M̄-koh, mā 因為 án-ne, 伊無愛 koh 看著我."

"我得欲有囡仔 ah."

伊規面, 規身完完全全 lóng 無表情. 伊 kō͘ 暗鬱 ê 目睭看她, hit-lō 表情她袂了解: 袂輸燒烏色火影 ê 幽靈 teh 看她.

"緊講, 你真歡喜!" 她懇求, ná 挲伊 ê 手. 她看著伊浮出某種歡喜 ê 表情. M̄-koh, 彼隨予她所袂當了解 ê 物件拋落去.

"彼是將來," 伊講.

"M̄-koh, 你敢無歡喜?" 她堅持 koh 問.

"我對將來真無信任."

"M̄-koh, 你毋免煩惱有啥責任. Clifford 會 kā 當做伊家己 ê 囝, 伊會真歡喜."

--

18.2

And Sir Malcolm sat back and smiled again. Connie did not answer.

’I hope you had a real man at last,’ he said to her after a while, sensually alert.

’I did. That’s the trouble. There aren’t many of them about,’ she said.


’No, by God!’ he mused. ‘There aren’t! Well, my dear, to look at you, he was a lucky man. Surely he wouldn’t make trouble for you?’

’Oh no! He leaves me my own mistress entirely.’

’Quite! Quite! A genuine man would.’

Sir Malcolm was pleased. Connie was his favourite daughter, he had always liked the female in her. Not so much of her mother in her as in Hilda. And he had always disliked Clifford. So he was pleased, and very tender with his daughter, as if the unborn child were his child.

He drove with her to Hartland’s hotel, and saw her installed: then went round to his club. She had refused his company for the evening.

She found a letter from Mellors.

‘I won’t come round to your hotel, but I’ll wait for you outside the Golden Cock in Adam Street at seven.’

There he stood, tall and slender, and so different, in a formal suit of thin dark cloth. He had a natural distinction, but he had not the cut-to-pattern look of her class. Yet, she saw at once, he could go anywhere. He had a native breeding which was really much nicer than the cut-to-pattern class thing.

’Ah, there you are! How well you look!’

’Yes! But not you.’

She looked in his face anxiously. It was thin, and the cheekbones showed. But his eyes smiled at her, and she felt at home with him. There it was: suddenly, the tension of keeping up her appearances fell from her. Something flowed out of him physically, that made her feel inwardly at ease and happy, at home. With a woman’s now alert instinct for happiness, she registered it at once. ‘I’m happy when he’s there!’ Not all the sunshine of Venice had given her this inward expansion and warmth.

’Was it horrid for you?’ she asked as she sat opposite him at table. He was too thin; she saw it now. His hand lay as she knew it, with the curious loose forgottenness of a sleeping animal. She wanted so much to take it and kiss it. But she did not quite dare.

’People are always horrid,’ he said.


’And did you mind very much?’


’I minded, as I always shall mind. And I knew I was a fool to mind.’


’Did you feel like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail? Clifford said you felt like that.’


He looked at her. It was cruel of her at that moment: for his pride had suffered bitterly.

’I suppose I did,’ he said.

She never knew the fierce bitterness with which he resented insult.

There was a long pause.


’And did you miss me?’ she asked.


’I was glad you were out of it.’


Again there was a pause.


’But did people BELIEVE about you and me?’ she asked.

’No! I don’t think so for a moment.’


’Did Clifford?’


’I should say not. He put it off without thinking about it. But naturally it made him want to see the last of me.’


’I’m going to have a child.’


The expression died utterly out of his face, out of his whole body. He looked at her with darkened eyes, whose look she could not understand at all: like some dark-flamed spirit looking at her.

’Say you’re glad!’ she pleaded, groping for his hand. And she saw a certain exultance spring up in him. But it was netted down by things she could not understand.

’It’s the future,’ he said.


’But aren’t you glad?’ she persisted.


’I have such a terrible mistrust of the future.’


’But you needn’t be troubled by any responsibility. Clifford would have it as his own, he’d be glad.’


--

18.1 她 kā 老爸講內情

Tē 18 Chiong

18.1 Yi kā lāu-pē kóng lāi-chêng

Yi bē-sái koh tiû-tû. Yi koat-tēng pài-la̍k, iā-tō-sī la̍k-kang í-āu, lī-khui Venice, he mā sī i lī-khui Wragby hit kang. Án-ne, yi ē-tàng tī āu lé-pài it kàu London, tō ē-tàng tī hia tú tio̍h i. Yi siá chi̍t tiuⁿ phe, kià khì i tī London ê tē-chí, kiò i kià hôe-phe khì Hartland lí-siā hō͘ yi, pēng-chhiáⁿ tī pài-it àm chhit-tiám khì hia pài-hóng yi.

Tī sim-ni̍h, yi ū chi̍t-chióng kî-koài koh ho̍k-cha̍p ê hùn-nō͘, só͘-ū yi ê hoán-èng lóng bâ-pì ah. Yi kī-choa̍t sìn-jīm Hilda, iah Hilda in-ūi hoán-kám yi tn̂g-sî-kan ê tiām-chēng, khai-sí kap chi̍t-ê Hô-lân cha-bó͘ chhin-bi̍t khí-lâi. Connie chiok chheh chit-chióng cha-bó͘ lâng tiong-kan ba̍t-chiuh-chiuh ê chhin-bi̍t, chit-lō chhin-bi̍t Hilda tian-tò chīn-la̍t tui-kiû.

Malcolm Sià koat-tēng hām Connie chò-hóe kiâⁿ, iah Duncan ē-tàng hām Hilda kiâⁿ. Chit-ê lāu gē-su̍t-ka it-hiòng tùi ka-tī chin hó: i bé nn̄g-ê Tong-hong Te̍k-khoài ê phò͘-ūi, sui-bóng Connie bô kah-ì Hô-hôa Lia̍t-chhia, in-ūi kīn-lâi tī he téng-koân chóng-sī ū chho͘-sông siâ-ok ê khì-hun. Put-jî-kò, chit-chióng chhia kàu Paris ê sî-kan khah kín.

Boeh tńg-chhù kìⁿ thài-thài, Malcolm Sià chóng-sī sim bē pêng-chēng. Che sī ùi tē-it jīm thài-thài ê sî tō ū ê si̍p-koàn. M̄-koh, ū chi̍t-ê siong-ke (松雞, grouse) phah-la̍h-hōe, i tio̍h kóaⁿ tńg-khì. Phôe-hu pha̍k chhiah koh hó-khòaⁿ ê Connie, tiām-tiām chē leh, oân-choân bô teh khòaⁿ kéng-sek.

"Tńg-khì Wragby, tùi lí sī bô-liâu," khòaⁿ yi būn-būn, yin lāu-pē án-ne kóng.

"Góa bô khak-tēng góa ē tńg-khì Wragby," yi hut-jiân án-ne kóng, nâ-sek ê ba̍k-chiu tián tōa-tōa khòaⁿ yin lāu-pē. Lāu-pē ê tōa-lúi nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu hián-chhut liông-sim put-bêng ê lâng ê kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ piáu-chêng.

"Lí ê ì-sù sī, lí boeh tī Paris tòa chi̍t chām?"

"M̄-sī! Góa sī kóng, éng-oán m̄ tńg-khì Wrabgy."

I í-keng ūi-tio̍h ka-tī ê sió būn-tê teh chhau-hoân, taⁿ chin-sim hi-bāng m̄-bián koh sêng-tam yi ê.

"Án-chóaⁿ kóng, hiah-nī tu̍t-jiân?" i mn̄g.

"Góa boeh ū gín-á lah."

Che sī yi tē-it kái tùi lâng kóng chit chân tài, án-ne mā ká-ná piau-sī yi ê sèⁿ-miā se̍h chi̍t-ê oat.

"Lí ná ē chai?" yin lāu-pē mn̄g.

Yi chhiò-chhiò.

"Góa ná ē chai?"

"M̄-koh, tong-jiân he m̄-sī Clifford ê gín-á?"

"M̄-sī! Lēng-gōa lâng ê."

Yi chiâⁿ hoaⁿ-hí khòaⁿ i sa-bô-cháng teh kip.

"Góa bat hit-lâng bô?" Malcolm Sià mn̄g.

"M̄-bat! Lí m̄-bat kìⁿ kòe i."

Chi̍t-chūn kú-kú ê tiām-chēng.

"Lí phah-sǹg boeh án-chóaⁿ?"

"Góa mā m̄-chai. Būn-tê tī chia."

"Bô hām Clifford chham-siông?"

"Góa siūⁿ, Clifford ē chiap-siū," Connie kóng. "Téng-kái lí kap i kóng-ōe liáu, i bat kă kóng, góa nā ū gín-á, i bē kòa-ì, chí-iàu góa kín-sīn hêng-sū."

"Tī chit-chióng chêng-hêng, i mā kan-ta ē-tàng kóng lí-sèng ê ōe lah. Nā án-ne, góa siūⁿ tō hó-sè."

"Án-chóaⁿ kóng?" Connie kóng, ná khòaⁿ yin lāu-pē ê ba̍k-chiu. He tōa-tōa ê nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu chiâⁿ sêng yi ka-tī ê, m̄-koh ū tah chi̍t-têng put-an, ná-chhiūⁿ put-an ê gín-á ê piáu-chêng, ū-sî koh ná ut-būn, chū-su, thong-siông sī sim-sek koh kín-sīn.

"Lí ē-tàng sàng Clifford chi̍t-ê Chatterley ka-cho̍k ê hiuⁿ-ian, koh ke lēng-gōa chi̍t-ê lâm-chiok tī Wragby."

Malcolm Sià ê bīn hián-chhut pòaⁿ bah-kám ê bî-chhiò.

M̄-koh, góa siūⁿ góa bô goān-ì," yi kóng.

"Án-chóaⁿ m̄? Kám-kak hām lēng-gōa hit-lâng pak bē-khui? Hm, koai gín-á, thiaⁿ góa kóng si̍t ōe: sè-kài bē thêng-chí. Wragby iáu tī hia, ē kè-sio̍k tī hia. Sè-kài ke-kiám sī kò͘-tēng ê, piáu-bīn siōng, lán tio̍h ài khì phòe-ha̍p i. Su-té hā, góa ê su-jîn ì-kiàn sī, lán ē-sái sûi ka-tī ê ì-sù. Kám-chêng ē piàn-hòa. Lí ē-sái kin-nî kah-ì chi̍t lâng, mê-nî ōaⁿ pa̍t-lâng. M̄-koh, Wragby iáu sī tī hia. Chí-iàu Wragby tòe lí, lí mā tio̍h tòe Wragby. Án-ne liáu, chiah chiàu lí ê ì-sù khì chò. M̄-koh, lí nā kap i toān-choa̍t, lí bē ū siáⁿ hó-chhù. Lí nā boeh, lí ē-sái toān-choa̍t. Lí ū to̍k-li̍p ê siu-ji̍p, che sī ûi-it bē hō͘ lí sit-bōng ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. M̄-koh, lí mā bē tit-tio̍h siáⁿ-mih hó-chhù. Lâu chi̍t-ê sió lâm-chiok tī Wragby. Che sī sim-sek ê tāi-chì."

--

第 18 章

18.1 她 kā 老爸講內情

她袂使 koh 躊躕. 她決定拜六, 也 tō 是六工以後, 離開 Venice, 彼 mā 是伊離開 Wragby 彼工. Án-ne, 她會當 tī 後禮拜一到 London, tō 會當 tī 遐拄著伊. 她寫一張批, 寄去伊 tī London ê 地址, 叫伊寄回批去 Hartland 旅社予她, 並且 tī 拜一暗七點去遐拜訪她.

Tī 心 ni̍h, 她有一種奇怪 koh 複雜 ê 憤怒, 所有她 ê 反應攏麻痺 ah. 她拒絕信任 Hilda, iah Hilda 因為反感她長時間 ê 恬靜, 開始 kap 一个荷蘭查某親密起來. Connie 足慼這種查某人中間密喌喌 ê 親密, chit-lō 親密 Hilda 顛倒盡力追求.

Malcolm Sià 決定和 Connie 做伙行, iah Duncan 會當和 Hilda 行. 這个老藝術家一向對家己真好: 伊買兩个東方特快 ê 舖位, 雖罔 Connie bô 佮意豪華列車, 因為近來 tī 彼頂懸總是有粗倯邪惡 ê 氣氛. 不而過, 這種車到 Paris ê 時間 khah 緊.

欲轉厝見太太, Malcolm Sià 總是心袂平靜. 這是 ùi 第一任太太 ê 時 tō 有 ê 習慣. M̄-koh, 有一个 siong-ke (松雞, grouse) 拍獵會, 伊著趕轉去. 皮膚曝赤 koh 好看 ê Connie, 恬恬坐 leh, 完全無 teh 看景色.

"轉去 Wragby, 對你是無聊," 看她悶悶, 姻老爸 án-ne 講.

"我無確定我會轉去 Wragby," 她忽然 án-ne 講, 藍色 ê 目睭展大大看姻老爸. 老爸 ê 大蕊藍色目睭顯出良心不明 ê 人 ê 驚惶表情.

"你 ê 意思是, 你欲 tī Paris 蹛一站?"

"毋是! 我是講, 永遠毋轉去 Wrabgy."

伊已經為著家己 ê 小問題 teh 操煩, 今真心希望毋免 koh 承擔她 ê.

"按怎講, hiah-nī 突然?" 伊問.

"我欲有囡仔 lah."

這是她第一改對人講這層代, án-ne mā ká-ná 標示她 ê 性命踅一个斡.

"你那會知?" 姻老爸問.

她笑笑.

"我那會知?"

"M̄-koh, 當然彼毋是 Clifford ê 囡仔?"

"毋是! 另外人 ê."

她誠歡喜看伊捎無 cháng teh 急.

"我 bat 彼人無?" Malcolm Sià 問.

"M̄-bat! 你 m̄-bat 見過伊."

一陣久久 ê 恬靜.

"你拍算欲按怎?"

"我 mā 毋知. 問題 tī 遮."

"無和 Clifford 參詳?"

"我想, Clifford 會接受," Connie 講. "頂改你 kap 伊講話了, 伊 bat kă 講, 我若有囡仔, 伊袂掛意, 只要我謹慎行事."

"Tī 這種情形, 伊 mā 干焦會當講理性 ê 話 lah. 若 án-ne, 我想 tō 好勢."

"按怎講?" Connie 講, ná 看姻老爸 ê 目睭. 彼大大 ê 藍色目睭誠成她家己 ê, m̄-koh 有貼一重不安, ná 像不安 ê 囡仔 ê 表情, 有時 koh ná 鬱悶, 自私, 通常是心適 koh 謹慎.

"你會當送 Clifford 一个 Chatterley 家族 ê 香煙, koh 加另外一个男爵 tī Wragby."

Malcolm Sià ê 面顯出半肉感 ê 微笑.

M̄-koh, 我想我無願意," 她講.

"按怎毋? 感覺和另外彼人剝袂開? Hm, 乖囡仔, 聽我講實話: 世界袂停止. Wragby 猶 tī 遐, 會繼續 tī 遐. 世界加減是固定 ê, 表面上, 咱著愛去配合伊. 私底下, 我 ê 私人意見是, 咱會使隨家己 ê 意思. 感情會變化. 你會使今年佮意一人, 明年換別人. M̄-koh, Wragby 猶是 tī 遐. 只要 Wragby 綴你, 你 mā 著綴 Wragby. Án-ne 了, 才照你 ê 意思去做. M̄-koh, 你若 kap 伊斷絕, 你袂有啥好處. 你 nā 欲, 你會使斷絕. 你有獨立 ê 收入, 這是唯一袂予你失望 ê 物件. M̄-koh, 你 mā 袂得著啥物好處. 留一个小男爵 tī Wragby. 這是心適 ê 代誌."

--

Chapter 18

18.1

She had to make up her mind what to do. She would leave Venice on the Saturday that he was leaving Wragby: in six days’ time. This would bring her to London on the Monday following, and she would then see him. She wrote to him to the London address, asking him to send her a letter to Hartland’s hotel, and to call for her on the Monday evening at seven.

Inside herself she was curiously and complicatedly angry, and all her responses were numb. She refused to confide even in Hilda, and Hilda, offended by her steady silence, had become rather intimate with a Dutch woman. Connie hated these rather stifling intimacies between women, intimacy into which Hilda always entered ponderously.

Sir Malcolm decided to travel with Connie, and Duncan could come on with Hilda. The old artist always did himself well: he took berths on the Orient Express, in spite of Connie’s dislike of TRAINS DE LUXE, the atmosphere of vulgar depravity there is aboard them nowadays. However, it would make the journey to Paris shorter.

Sir Malcolm was always uneasy going back to his wife. It was habit carried over from the first wife. But there would be a house-party for the grouse, and he wanted to be well ahead. Connie, sunburnt and handsome, sat in silence, forgetting all about the landscape.

’A little dull for you, going back to Wragby,’ said her father, noticing her glumness.

’I’m not sure I shall go back to Wragby,’ she said, with startling abruptness, looking into his eyes with her big blue eyes. His big blue eyes took on the frightened look of a man whose social conscience is not quite clear.

’You mean you’ll stay on in Paris a while?’

’No! I mean never go back to Wragby.’

He was bothered by his own little problems, and sincerely hoped he was getting none of hers to shoulder.

’How’s that, all at once?’ he asked.

’I’m going to have a child.’

It was the first time she had uttered the words to any living soul, and it seemed to mark a cleavage in her life.

’How do you know?’ said her father.

She smiled.

’How SHOULD I know?’


’But not Clifford’s child, of course?’

’No! Another man’s.’

She rather enjoyed tormenting him.


’Do I know the man?’ asked Sir Malcolm.


’No! You’ve never seen him.’


There was a long pause.


’And what are your plans?’


’I don’t know. That’s the point.’


’No patching it up with Clifford?’


’I suppose Clifford would take it,’ said Connie. ‘He told me, after last time you talked to him, he wouldn’t mind if I had a child, so long as I went about it discreetly.’

’Only sensible thing he could say, under the circumstances. Then I suppose it’ll be all right.’

’In what way?’ said Connie, looking into her father’s eyes. They were big blue eyes rather like her own, but with a certain uneasiness in them, a look sometimes of an uneasy little boy, sometimes a look of sullen selfishness, usually good-humoured and wary.

’You can present Clifford with an heir to all the Chatterleys, and put another baronet in Wragby.’

Sir Malcolm’s face smiled with a half-sensual smile.


’But I don’t think I want to,’ she said.


’Why not? Feeling entangled with the other man? Well! If you want the truth from me, my child, it’s this. The world goes on. Wragby stands and will go on standing. The world is more or less a fixed thing and, externally, we have to adapt ourselves to it. Privately, in my private opinion, we can please ourselves. Emotions change. You may like one man this year and another next. But Wragby still stands. Stick by Wragby as far as Wragby sticks by you. Then please yourself. But you’ll get very little out of making a break. You can make a break if you wish. You have an independent income, the only thing that never lets you down. But you won’t get much out of it. Put a little baronet in Wragby. It’s an amusing thing to do.’

--

17.10 她接著 Mellors ê 批

17.10 Yi chiap tio̍h Mellors ê phe

Clifford ê phe ín-khí ê hùn-nō͘, koh i ê phe bô jīm-hô ê tông-chêng-sim, hō͘ Connie ìn-siōng chin bái. M̄-koh yi ū tit-tio̍h khah hó ê liáu-kái, tán yi chiap tio̍h Mellors ê phe:

"Niau í-keng cháu chhut pò͘-tē, koh tòe chi̍t tīn niau-á kiáⁿ. [E̍k: Chóa í-keng pau bē tiâu hóe, hóe-sái koh phùn kah móa sì-kè ah.] Lí ū thiaⁿ-kóng, goán bó͘ tńg-lâi í-keng bô koh ài yi ê góa chia, jî-chhiáⁿ tòa tī chhun-sià: tī hia, kóng chi̍t kù khah put-kèng ê ōe, yi ùi chi̍t sió koàn ê Coty phīⁿ tio̍h niáu-chhí hiàn. Keng-kòe kúi-nā kang, yi bô hoat-hiān kî-thaⁿ ê chèng-kì, m̄-koh tng yi chai siòng-phìⁿ í-keng sio-khì, yi khai-sí ai-pē-kiò-bú. Yi tī sì-kak pâng-keng hoat-hiān po-lê hām siòng-kheng pang. Chin put-hēng, he pang téng-koân ū lâng ô͘-loān ōe chi̍t kóa ang-á hām miâ ê thâu-jī kúi-nā ê: C.S.R. Put-jî-kò, che bô siáⁿ sòaⁿ-soh, it-ti̍t kàu yi cháu ji̍p liâu-á, hoat-hiān chi̍t pún lí ê chheh: Pâi-iu Judith ê Chū-toān, tī thâu-ia̍h ū lí ê miâ, Constance Stewart Reid. Án-ne liáu, kúi-nā kang yi tō sì-kè tōa-siaⁿ jiáng, kóng góa ê chêng-hū m̄-sī pa̍t-lâng, sī Chatterley Hu-jîn pún-lâng. Chit-ê siau-sit chòe-āu thoân kàu bo̍k-su Burroughs Ss hām kàu Clifford Sià hia. Chū án-ne, in khai-sí chhái-chhú hoat-lu̍t hêng-tōng boeh kò goán thài-chō, yi soah cháu kah bô khòaⁿ-e-iáⁿ, in-ūi yi chiok kiaⁿ tú tio̍h kéng-chhat.

"Clifford Sià boeh kìⁿ góa, góa tō khì i hia. I kóng chi̍t-kóa ū-ê bô-ê, ká-ná tùi góa chin kám-mō͘. Āu-lâi, i mn̄g góa kóng, kám chai hu-jîn ê miâ mā hông kóng-tio̍h. Góa kóng, góa m̄-bat chhap kiàn-siàu-tāi, mā kám-kak tio̍h-kiaⁿ, kèng-jiân ùi Clifford Sià thiaⁿ tio̍h chit-ê kóng-hoat. I kóng, che tong-jiân sī chin tōa ê bú-jio̍k; góa tō kā kóng, goán chàu-kha ū kòa chi̍t ê Mary Ông-hiō ê ji̍t-chì, bô-gî, che sī in-ūi Ông-hiō sī góa āu-kiong ê cha-bó͘. M̄-koh, i bô him-sióng góa chit-ê chhiò-khoe. I khì kah, tō kóng góa chho͘-ló͘ kah khò͘ bô liú tō sì-kè sô; góa tō kā ìn kóng, i liân su-iàu liú ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ to bô ah; chū án-ne, i kā góa sî-thâu-lō͘; āu lé-pài la̍k góa tio̍h boeh lī-khui, chit-ê só͘-chāi bô koh ū lâng ē bat góa ah.

"Góa ē khì London, góa í-chêng ê chhù thâu-ke Inger Tt, Coburg Kóng-tiûⁿ 17 hō, nā m̄-sī hō͘ góa tòa chi̍t-ê pâng-keng, tō sī ē thè góa chhōe chi̍t keng.

"Kì tio̍h, chōe-kò bē pàng kòe lí, iû-kî lí í-keng kiat-hun, iah yi ê miâ sī Bertha..."

Bô chi̍t kù ōe kóng yi, a̍h sī kā yi kóng. Connie kám-kak chin oàn-hūn. I si̍t-chāi ē-sái kóng kúi kù an-ùi a̍h kó͘-lē ê ōe. M̄-koh, yi chai, i boeh hō͘ yi chū-iû chū-chāi tńg-khì Wragby, tńg-khì Clifford sin-piⁿ. Che mā hō͘ yi hùn-nō͘. I m̄-bián kek chit-chióng ké ê gī-khì. Yi tān-goān i ū kā Clifford kóng: "Tio̍h, yi sī góa ê ài-jîn, góa ê hóe-kì, góa kám-kak chin êng-hēng!" M̄-koh, i khiok bô chit-chióng ióng-khì.

Chū án-ne, tī Tevershall yi ê miâ hām i ê kiap chò-hóe! Pìⁿ kah kin-ká-kô. M̄-koh he bān-bān ē siau-khì.

Yi chiâⁿ siū-khì, chit ê ho̍k-cha̍p koh hūn-loān ê siū-khì hāi yi khí-gōng. Yi m̄-chai boeh chhòng siáⁿ, mā m̄-chai boeh kóng siáⁿ, chū án-ne yi bô chhòng siáⁿ, mā bô kóng siáⁿ. Yi kè-sio̍k chiàu-siông tī Venice seng-oa̍h, hām Duncan Forbes kò gondola chhut-khì, sé chúi-e̍k, chi̍t-kang kòe chi̍t-kang. Duncan, 10 nî chêng ài yi bē tio̍h, taⁿ iū-koh ài tio̍h yi ah. M̄-koh, yi kā i kóng: "Góa tùi cha-po͘ lâng kan-ta iau-kiû chi̍t hāng tāi-chì, he tō-sī, in lóng mài lâi kiáu-jiáu góa."

Chū án-ne, Duncan bô kiáu-jiáu yi: chin-chiàⁿ hoaⁿ-hí ē-tàng án-ne chò. Chiàu-siông, i hō͘ yi chi̍t-chióng ná un-jiû chúi-lâu ê kî-koài ê, iú-chêng ê ài. I chí-sī su-iàu ū yi chò-phōaⁿ.

"Lí kám bat siūⁿ kòe," chi̍t kang i kā yi kóng, "lán lâng tiong-kan ê koan-liân si̍t-chāi chin chió. Lí khòaⁿ Daniele! I iân-tâu kah ná chhiūⁿ ji̍t-thâu ê kiáⁿ. M̄-koh, lí khòaⁿ tī i ê iân-tâu tiong-kan, i sī gōa-nī-á ko͘-to̍k. M̄-koh, góa káⁿ sio-su, i it-tēng ū bó͘-kiáⁿ, só͘-í i bô khó-lêng pàng-sak in."

"Khì mn̄g i lah," Connie kóng.

Duncan chèng-keng khì kā mn̄g. Daniele kóng i í-keng kiat-hun, ū nn̄g ê gín-á, lóng sī cha-po͘ ê, chhit hòe kap káu hòe. M̄-koh, tùi chiah-ê sū-si̍t i bô liû-lō͘ siáⁿ-mih kám-chêng.

"Hoān-sè, kan-ta ē-tàng chin-chiàⁿ kiat-ha̍p ê lâng chiah ē khòaⁿ khí-lâi ná ko͘-to̍k tī thiⁿ-tē tiong-kan," Connie kóng. "Kî-thaⁿ ê lâng lóng sio-tòe, in tòe chiòng-lâng, chhiūⁿ Giovanni," ... "Iáu ū," yi sim-ni̍h án-ne siūⁿ, "chhiūⁿ lí, Duncan, mā sī chit-chióng lâng."

--

17.10 她接著 Mellors ê 批

Clifford ê 批引起 ê 憤怒, koh 伊 ê 批無任何 ê 同情心, 予 Connie 印象真䆀. M̄-koh 她有得著較好 ê 了解, 等她接著 Mellors ê 批:

"貓已經走出布袋, koh 綴一陣貓仔囝. [譯: 紙已經包袂牢火, 火屎 koh 噴 kah 滿四界 ah.] 你有聽講, 阮某轉來已經無 koh 愛她 ê 我遮, 而且蹛 tī 村舍: tī 遐, 講一句較不敬 ê 話, 她 ùi 一小罐 ê Coty 鼻著鳥鼠羶. 經過幾若工, 她無發現其他 ê 證據, m̄-koh 當她知相片已經燒去, 她開始哀爸叫母. 她 tī 四角房間發現玻璃和相框枋. 真不幸, 彼枋頂懸有人胡亂畫一寡尪仔和名 ê 頭字幾若个: C.S.R. 不而過, 這無啥線索, 一直到她走入寮仔, 發現一本你 ê 冊: 俳優 Judith ê 自傳, tī 頭頁有你 ê 名, Constance Stewart Reid. Án-ne 了, 幾若工她 tō 四界大聲嚷, 講我 ê 情婦毋是別人, 是 Chatterley 夫人本人. Chit-ê 消息最後傳到牧師 Burroughs Ss 和到 Clifford Sià 遐. 自 án-ne, in 開始採取法律行動欲告阮太座, 她煞走 kah 無看 e 影, 因為她足驚拄著警察.

"Clifford Sià 欲見我, 我 tō 去伊遐. 伊講一寡有 ê 無 ê, ká-ná 對我真感冒. 後來, 伊問我講, 敢知夫人 ê 名 mā hông 講著. 我講, 我 m̄-bat chhap 見笑代, mā 感覺著驚, 竟然 ùi Clifford Sià 聽著這个講法. 伊講, 這當然是真大 ê 侮辱; 我 tō kā 講, 阮灶跤有掛一个 Mary 王后 ê 日誌, 無疑, 這是因為王后是我後宮 ê 查某. M̄-koh, 伊無欣賞我這个笑詼. 伊氣 kah, tō 講我粗魯 kah 褲無鈕 tō 四界趖; 我 tō kā 應講, 伊連需要鈕 ê 物件都無 ah; 自 án-ne, 伊 kā 我辭頭路; 後禮拜六我著欲離開, 這个所在無 koh 有人會 bat 我 ah.

"我會去 London, 我以前 ê 厝頭家 Inger Tt, Coburg 廣場 17 號, 若毋是予我蹛一个房間, tō 是會替我揣一間.

"記著, 罪過袂放過你, 尤其你已經結婚, iah 她 ê 名是 Bertha..."

無一句話講她, 抑是 kā 她講. Connie 感覺真怨恨. 伊實在會使講幾句安慰抑鼓勵 ê 話. M̄-koh, 她知, 伊欲予她自由自在轉去 Wragby, 轉去 Clifford 身邊. 這 mā 予她憤怒. 伊毋免激這種假 ê 義氣. 她但願伊有 kā Clifford 講: "著, 她是我 ê 愛人, 我 ê hóe-kì, 我感覺真榮幸!" M̄-koh, 伊卻無這種勇氣.

自 án-ne, tī Tevershall 她 ê 名和伊 ê 夾做伙! Pìⁿ kah kin-ká-kô. M̄-koh 彼慢慢會消去.

她誠受氣, 這个複雜 koh 混亂 ê 受氣害她起戇. 她毋知欲創啥, mā 毋知欲講啥, 自 án-ne 她無創啥, mā 無講啥. 她繼續照常 tī Venice 生活, 和 Duncan Forbes 划 gondola 出去, 洗水浴, 一工過一工. Duncan, 10 年前愛她袂著, 今又 koh 愛著她 ah. M̄-koh, 她 kā 伊講: "我對查埔人干焦要求一項代誌, 彼 tō 是, in 攏莫來攪擾我."

自 án-ne, Duncan 無攪擾她: 真正歡喜會當 án-ne 做. 照常, 伊予她一種 ná 溫柔水流 ê 奇怪 ê, 友情 ê 愛. 伊只是需要有她做伴.

"你敢 bat 想過," 一工伊 kā 她講, "咱人中間 ê 關連實在真少. 你看 Daniele! 伊緣投 kah ná 像日頭 ê 囝. M̄-koh, 你看 tī 伊 ê 緣投中間, 伊是 gōa-nī-á 孤獨. M̄-koh, 我 káⁿ sio-su, 伊一定有某囝, 所以伊無可能放捒 in."

"去問伊 lah," Connie 講.

Duncan 正經去 kā 問. Daniele 講伊已經結婚, 有兩个囡仔, 攏是查埔 ê, 七歲 kap 九歲. M̄-koh, 對 chiah-ê 事實伊無流露啥物感情.

"凡勢, 干焦會當真正結合 ê 人, 才會看起來 ná 孤獨 tī 天地中間," Connie 講. "其他 ê 人攏相綴, in 綴眾人, 像 Giovanni," ... "猶有," 她心 ni̍h án-ne 想, "像你, Duncan, mā 是這種人."

--

17.10

The irritation, and the lack of any sympathy in any direction, of Clifford’s letter, had a bad effect on Connie. But she understood it better when she received the following from Mellors:

‘The cat is out of the bag, along with various other pussies. You have heard that my wife Bertha came back to my unloving arms, and took up her abode in the cottage: where, to speak disrespectfully, she smelled a rat, in the shape of a little bottle of Coty. Other evidence she did not find, at least for some days, when she began to howl about the burnt photograph. She noticed the glass and the back-board in the square bedroom. Unfortunately, on the back-board somebody had scribbled little sketches, and the initials, several times repeated: C. S. R. This, however, afforded no clue until she broke into the hut, and found one of your books, an autobiography of the actress Judith, with your name, Constance Stewart Reid, on the front page. After this, for some days she went round loudly saying that my paramour was no less a person than Lady Chatterley herself. The news came at last to the rector, Mr Burroughs, and to Sir Clifford. They then proceeded to take legal steps against my liege lady, who for her part disappeared, having always had a mortal fear of the police.

‘Sir Clifford asked to see me, so I went to him. He talked around things and seemed annoyed with me. Then he asked if I knew that even her ladyship’s name had been mentioned. I said I never listened to scandal, and was surprised to hear this bit from Sir Clifford himself. He said, of course it was a great insult, and I told him there was Queen Mary on a calendar in the scullery, no doubt because Her Majesty formed part of my harem. But he didn’t appreciate the sarcasm. He as good as told me I was a disreputable character also walked about with my breeches’ buttons undone, and I as good as told him he’d nothing to unbutton anyhow, so he gave me the sack, and I leave on Saturday week, and the place thereof shall know me no more.

‘I shall go to London, and my old landlady, Mrs Inger, 17 Coburg Square, will either give me a room or will find one for me.

‘Be sure your sins will find you out, especially if you’re married and her name’s Bertha—‘


There was not a word about herself, or to her. Connie resented this. He might have said some few words of consolation or reassurance. But she knew he was leaving her free, free to go back to Wragby and to Clifford. She resented that too. He need not be so falsely chivalrous. She wished he had said to Clifford: ‘Yes, she is my lover and my mistress and I am proud of it!’ But his courage wouldn’t carry him so far.

So her name was coupled with his in Tevershall! It was a mess. But that would soon die down.

She was angry, with the complicated and confused anger that made her inert. She did not know what to do nor what to say, so she said and did nothing. She went on at Venice just the same, rowing out in the gondola with Duncan Forbes, bathing, letting the days slip by. Duncan, who had been rather depressingly in love with her ten years ago, was in love with her again. But she said to him: ‘I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.’

So Duncan left her alone: really quite pleased to be able to. All the same, he offered her a soft stream of a queer, inverted sort of love. He wanted to be WITH her.

’Have you ever thought,’ he said to her one day, ‘how very little people are connected with one another. Look at Daniele! He is handsome as a son of the sun. But see how alone he looks in his handsomeness. Yet I bet he has a wife and family, and couldn’t possibly go away from them.’

’Ask him,’ said Connie.


Duncan did so. Daniele said he was married, and had two children, both male, aged seven and nine. But he betrayed no emotion over the fact.


’Perhaps only people who are capable of real togetherness have that look of being alone in the universe,’ said Connie. ‘The others have a certain stickiness, they stick to the mass, like Giovanni.’ ... ‘And,’ she thought to herself, ‘like you, Duncan.’

--

17.9 Mellors 後禮拜六會離開

17.9 Mellors āu lé-pài la̍k ē lī-khui

"Put-jî-kò, ta̍k-ê lóng teh thiaⁿ, góa mā kāng-khoán. Cha̍p-kúi nî chêng, it-poaⁿ ê lé-māu ē ah-lo̍h chit-chióng tāi-chì. M̄-koh taⁿ í-keng bô it-poaⁿ ê lé-māu, hiah-ê thòaⁿ-kang ê bó͘ chiâu bú-chong khí-lâi, kāu-bīn-phôe teh hoah-siaⁿ. Ū-lâng ē siūⁿ-kóng, 50 nî lâi tī Tevershall chhut-sì ê ta̍k-ê gín-á lóng sī sèng-thai, iah lán hiah-ê bô sìn-kàu ê hū-jîn-lâng ta̍k-ê lóng sī kim-sih-sih ê sèng-lú Joan d’Arc (貞德). Lán chit-ê khó-kèng ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú soah ū [sek-chêng chok-ka Francois] Rabelais ê kháu-bī, che hō͘ i khòaⁿ khí-lâi pí [sat-jîn-mô͘ Dr. Hawley Harvey] Crippen koh-khah khó-phà. Lí nā siong-sìn só͘-ū hiah-ê êng-á-ōe, Tevershall chiah-ê lâng si̍t-chāi sī chi̍t-tīn hā-liû ê lâng.

"Put-jî-kò, mâ-hoân ê tāi-chì sī, khó-hūn ê Bertha Coutts m̄-nā kóng yi ka-tī ê keng-giām hām chia̍h-khó͘, yi koh sì-kè chhiàng-siaⁿ, kóng yi ū hoat-hiān yin ang bat tī chhun-sià 'lâu' cha-bó͘, koh kóng kah ū-miâ ū-sèⁿ. Chū án-ne, kā kúi-nā ê ko-sióng ê miâ thoa-lo̍h làm-thô͘, hō͘ kui-ê tāi-chì piàn kah chiâⁿ kòe-hūn, tong-kio̍k í-keng tùi chit-ê cha-bó͘ hoat-chhut kìm-chè-lēng (injunction).

"In-ūi bô hoat-tō͘ kìm-chí hit-ê cha-bó͘ ji̍p chhiū-nâ, góa tio̍h chhiáⁿ Mellors kā tāi-chì kóng chheng-chhó. I hām pêng-siông kāng-khoán, kek chi̍t ê bô-sū-lâng ê khoán: bô, góa bô chhap lâng, m̄-koán lâng án-chóaⁿ kóng góa! Put-jî-kò, góa chin-chiàⁿ hoâi-gî, i èng-tong kám-kak ná bóe-liu hông kat tâng-kóng-á ê káu: sui-bóng i chin gâu am-khàm, ké-sian bô tâng-kóng-á tī hia. M̄-koh, góa thiaⁿ-kóng, i nā keng-kòe, chng ni̍h ê cha-bó͘ tō kā gín-á kiò cháu, ká-ná i sī [sek-chêng tiat-ha̍k-ka] Marquis de Sade ê hòa-sin. I kè-sio̍k bīn-phôe kek kāu-kāu, m̄-koh góa khióng-kiaⁿ he tâng-kóng-á í-keng ân-ân pa̍k tī i ê bóe, i ê lāi-sim tō it-ti̍t kā ka-tī kóng, ná Don Rodrigo só͘ chhiùⁿ ê Spanga bîn-iâu: ‘Ah, góa hoān-chōe ê só͘-chāi, taⁿ kā tio̍h góa lah!’

"Góa mn̄g i kóng, i sī m̄-sī jīn-ûi i ē-tàng chò hó chhiū-nâ ni̍h ê chit-bū, i kóng, i bô jīn-ûi i ū so͘-hut he. Góa kā i kóng, ū hit-ê cha-bó͘ lâi chhim-ji̍p chin thó-ià: che i kóng, i bô khoân thang kìm-chí yi lâi. Jiân-āu, góa kā àm-sī kóng, he kiàn-siàu-tāi lú lâi lú pháiⁿ-thiaⁿ. ‘Ái,’ i kóng. ‘Ta̍k-lâng tio̍h koán ka-tī ê sio-kàn-tāi, án-ne tō bē hèng thiaⁿ lâng kóng pa̍t-lâng ê êng-á-ōe.’

"I ê ōe tiong ū khó͘-siap, bô-gî he tiong-kan pau-hâm tio̍h pó-kùi ê sū-si̍t. Put-jî-kò, i ê kóng-hoat put-tān bô iù-siù, mā bô chun-tiōng. Góa koh kā i àm-sī, chū án-ne góa thiaⁿ tio̍h tâng-kóng-á siaⁿ koh hiáng. ‘Clifford Sià, lí chit-khoán chōng-hóng ê lâng eng-kai bē chek-pī góa kha-phāng-ē ū lān-pha.’

"Chiah-ê tāi-chì, chhìn-chhìn-chhái-chhái tùi lâng kóng, tong-jiân tùi i bô hó-chhù, iah bo̍k-su, hām Finley, hām Burroughs lóng jīn-ûi, siōng-hó sī kiò hit-lâng lī-khui.

"Góa mn̄g i, sī m̄-sī chin ê, i lâu cha-bó͘ tī chhun-sià, i kan-ta kóng: ‘Ai-ah, he hām lír ū ssⁿ koan-hē, Clifford Sià?’ Góa kā kóng, tī góa ê tē-sán téng-koân, góa put-chún ū a-cha ê tāi-chì, che i soah án-ne kă ìn: ‘Nā án-ne, lír siōng-hó kā só͘-ū cha-bó͘ ê chhùi thīⁿ khír-lâi.’ ... Tng góa pek mn̄g i ê chhun-sià seng-oa̍h ê sî, i kóng: ‘Tong-jiân lír ē-tàng chhòng kiàn-siàu-tāi, kóng óa hām óa ê káu-bó Flossie an-ná an-ná. Hia lír bô kóng tio̍h.’ Sū-si̍t siōng, kóng tio̍h chho͘-ló͘ koh bô-lé, bô lâng ē iâⁿ i.

"Góa mn̄g i, koh chhōe thâu-lō͘ sī m̄-sī hó chhōe. I kóng: ‘Lír nā boeh àm-sī kóng boeh kă sî thâu-lō͘, che tō ná nih-ba̍k hiah kán-tan.’ Só͘-í i chin sóng-khoài tō tah-èng āu lé-pài liáu tō ē lī-khui, mā chin goān-ì kā chi̍t-kóa sit-thâu ê mê-kak kau-tài hō͘ chi̍t-ê siàu-liân-ke Joe Chambers. Góa kā kóng, góa boeh tī i lī-khui ê sî ke hù i chi̍t goe̍h-ji̍t ê sin-súi. I kóng, góa siōng-hó sī kā góa ê chîⁿ lâu lo̍h-lâi, bián-tit góa liông-sim bē an-chēng. Góa mn̄g i, he sī siáⁿ ì-sù, i kóng: ‘Lír bô khiàm óa sáⁿ, Clifford Sià, só͘-í m̄-thang ke hù óa sáⁿ. Lír nā khòaⁿ góa sàn kah chhēng-saⁿ siuⁿ lâm-lūi, chò lír ti̍t-chiap kóng chhut-lâi.’

"Hó lah, taⁿ tāi-chì chóng sǹg sī kiat-sok ah. Hit ê cha-bó͘ í-keng lī-khui: goán mā m̄-chai yi khì toh: m̄-koh nā koh tī Tevershall chhut-hiān, yi tō ē hông lia̍h khì. Góa thiaⁿ-kóng, yi kiaⁿ-sí hông koaiⁿ, in-ūi yi tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē hông koaiⁿ. Mellors āu lé-pài la̍k ē lī-khui, chit-ê só͘-chāi chin kín tō ē koh hoe-ho̍k chèng-siông.

"Chhin-ài ê Connie, hiān-chú-sî lí nā kám-kak hoaⁿ-hí, lí tō tī Venice a̍h sī Sūi-se lâu kàu peh-goe̍h chhe, án-ne chò, góa ē hoaⁿ-hí lí m̄-bián poān tio̍h chit-chióng òe-sòe ê tāi-chì, chiah-ê kàu chit kò goe̍h té eng-tong tō lóng kòe-khì ah.

"Só͘-í lí chai, lán lóng sī chhim-hái ê koài-bu̍t, nā ū liông-hê kiâⁿ kòe thô͘-môe, tō ē kā chúi hut lô. Lán tio̍h kian-chhî iōng tiat-ha̍k ê kak-tō͘ lâi chiap-siū che."

--

17.9 Mellors 後禮拜六會離開

"不而過, 逐个攏 teh 聽, 我 mā 仝款. 十幾年前, 一般 ê 禮貌會壓落這種代誌. M̄-koh 今已經無一般 ê 禮貌, hiah-ê 炭工 ê 某 chiâu 武裝起來, 厚面皮 teh 喝聲. 有人會想講, 50 年來 tī Tevershall 出世 ê 逐个囡仔攏是聖胎, iah 咱 hiah-ê 無信教 ê 婦人 lâng 逐个攏是金 sih-sih ê 聖女 Joan d’Arc (貞德). 咱這个可敬 ê 獵場看守煞有 [色情作家 Francois] Rabelais ê 口味, 這予伊看起來比 [殺人魔 Dr. Hawley Harvey] Crippen koh 較可怕. 你若相信所有 hiah-ê 閒仔話, Tevershall chiah-ê 人實在是一陣下流 ê 人.

"不而過, 麻煩 ê 代誌是, 可恨 ê Bertha Coutts m̄-nā 講她家己 ê 經驗和食苦, 她 koh 四界唱聲, 講她有發現姻翁 bat tī 村舍 '留' 查某, koh 講 kah 有名有姓. 自 án-ne, kā 幾若个高尚 ê 名拖落湳塗, 予規个代誌變 kah 誠過份, 當局已經對這个查某發出禁制令 (injunction).

"因為無法度禁止彼个查某入樹林, 我著請 Mellors kā 代誌講清楚. 伊 hām 平常仝款, 激一个無事人 ê 款: 無, 我無 chhap 人, 毋管人按怎講我! 不而過, 我真正懷疑, 伊應當感覺 ná 尾溜 hông 結銅管仔 ê 狗: 雖罔伊真 gâu 掩崁, 假仙無銅管仔 tī 遐. M̄-koh, 我聽講, 伊若經過, 庄 ni̍h ê 查某 tō kā 囡仔叫走, ká-ná 伊是 [色情哲學家] Marquis de Sade ê 化身. 伊繼續面皮激厚厚, m̄-koh 我恐驚彼銅管仔已經絚絚縛 tī 伊 ê 尾, 伊 ê 內心 tō 一直 kā 家己講, ná Don Rodrigo 所唱 ê Spanga 民謠: ‘Ah, 我犯罪 ê 所在, 今咬著我 lah!’

"我問伊講, 伊是毋是認為伊會當做好樹林 ni̍h ê 職務, 伊講, 伊無認為伊有疏忽彼. 我 kā 伊講, 有彼个查某來侵入真討厭: 這伊講, 伊無權通禁止她來. 然後, 我 kā 暗示講, 彼見笑代 lú 來 lú 歹聽. ‘Ái,’ 伊講. ‘逐人著管家己 ê sio-kàn 代, án-ne tō 袂興聽人講別人 ê 閒仔話.’

"伊 ê 話中有苦澀, 無疑彼中間包含著寶貴 ê 事實. 不而過, 伊 ê 講法不但無幼秀, mā 無尊重. 我 koh kā 伊暗示, 自 án-ne 我聽著銅管仔聲 koh 響. ‘Clifford Sià, 你這款狀況 ê 人應該袂責備我跤縫下有膦脬.’

"Chiah-ê 代誌, 凊凊采采對人講, 當然對伊無好處, iah 牧師, 和 Finley, 和 Burroughs 攏認為, 上好是叫彼人離開.

"我問伊, 是毋是真 ê, 伊留查某 tī 村舍, 伊干焦講: ‘Ai-ah, 彼和 lír 有 sáⁿ 關係, Clifford Sià?’ 我 kā 講, tī 我 ê 地產頂懸, 我不准有 a-cha ê 代誌, 這伊煞 án-ne kă 應: ‘若 án-ne, lír 上好 kā 所有查某 ê 喙紩 khír 來.’ ... 當我逼問伊 ê 村舍生活 ê 時, 伊講: ‘當然 lír 會當創見笑代, 講 óa 和 óa ê 狗母 Flossie an-ná an-ná. 遐 lír 無講著.’ 事實上, 講著粗魯 koh 無禮, 無人會贏伊.

"我問伊, koh 揣頭路是毋是好揣. 伊講: ‘Lír 若欲暗示講欲 kă 辭頭路, 這 tō ná nih 目 hiah 簡單.’ 所以伊真爽快 tō 答應後禮拜了 tō 會離開, mā 真願意 kā 一寡穡頭 ê 鋩角交代予一个少年家 Joe Chambers. 我 kā 講, 我欲 tī 伊離開 ê 時加付伊一月日 ê 薪水. 伊講, 我上好是 kā 我 ê 錢留落來, 免得我良心袂安靜. 我問伊, 彼是啥意思, 伊講: ‘Lír 無欠 óa sáⁿ, Clifford Sià, 所以毋通加付 óa sáⁿ. Lír 若看我 sàn kah 穿衫 siuⁿ lâm-lūi, 做 lír 直接講出來.’

"好 lah, 今代誌總算是結束 ah. 彼个查某已經離開: 阮 mā 毋知她去佗: m̄-koh 若 koh tī Tevershall 出現, 她 tō 會 hông 掠去. 我聽講, 她驚死 hông 關, 因為她定著會 hông 關. Mellors 後禮拜六會離開, 這个所在真緊 tō 會 koh 恢復正常.

"親愛 ê Connie, 現此時你若感覺歡喜, 你 tō tī Venice 抑是 Suise 留到八月初, án-ne 做, 我會歡喜你毋免 poān 著這種 òe-sòe ê 代誌, chiah-ê 到這個月底應當 tō 攏過去 ah.

"所以你知, 咱攏是深海 ê 怪物, 若有龍蝦行過塗糜, tō 會 kā 水 hut 濁. 咱著堅持用哲學 ê 角度來接受這."

--

17.9

‘However, everybody listens: as I do myself. A dozen years ago, common decency would have hushed the thing. But common decency no longer exists, and the colliers’ wives are all up in arms and unabashed in voice. One would think every child in Tevershall, for the last fifty years, had been an immaculate conception, and every one of our nonconformist females was a shining Joan of Arc. That our estimable game-keeper should have about him a touch of Rabelais seems to make him more monstrous and shocking than a murderer like Crippen. Yet these people in Tevershall are a loose lot, if one is to believe all accounts.

‘The trouble is, however, the execrable Bertha Coutts has not confined herself to her own experiences and sufferings. She has discovered, at the top of her voice, that her husband has been ‘keeping’ women down at the cottage, and has made a few random shots at naming the women. This has brought a few decent names trailing through the mud, and the thing has gone quite considerably too far. An injunction has been taken out against the woman.

‘I have had to interview Mellors about the business, as it was impossible to keep the woman away from the wood. He goes about as usual, with his Miller-of-the-Dee air, I care for nobody, no not I, if nobody care for me! Nevertheless, I shrewdly suspect he feels like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail: though he makes a very good show of pretending the tin can isn’t there. But I heard that in the village the women call away their children if he is passing, as if he were the Marquis de Sade in person. He goes on with a certain impudence, but I am afraid the tin can is firmly tied to his tail, and that inwardly he repeats, like Don Rodrigo in the Spanish ballad: ‘Ah, now it bites me where I most have sinned!’

‘I asked him if he thought he would be able to attend to his duty in the wood, and he said he did not think he had neglected it. I told him it was a nuisance to have the woman trespassing: to which he replied that he had no power to arrest her. Then I hinted at the scandal and its unpleasant course. ‘Ay,’ he said. ‘Folks should do their own fuckin’, then they wouldn’t want to listen to a lot of clatfart about another man’s.’

‘He said it with some bitterness, and no doubt it contains the real germ of truth. The mode of putting it, however, is neither delicate nor respectful. I hinted as much, and then I heard the tin can rattle again. ‘It’s not for a man the shape you’re in, Sir Clifford, to twit me for havin’ a cod atween my legs.’

‘These things, said indiscriminately to all and sundry, of course do not help him at all, and the rector, and Finley, and Burroughs all think it would be as well if the man left the place.

‘I asked him if it was true that he entertained ladies down at the cottage, and all he said was: ‘Why, what’s that to you, Sir Clifford?’ I told him I intended to have decency observed on my estate, to which he replied: ‘Then you mun button the mouths o’ a’ th’ women.’—When I pressed him about his manner of life at the cottage, he said: ‘Surely you might ma’e a scandal out o’ me an’ my bitch Flossie. You’ve missed summat there.’ As a matter of fact, for an example of impertinence he’d be hard to beat.

‘I asked him if it would be easy for him to find another job. He said: ‘If you’re hintin’ that you’d like to shunt me out of this job, it’d be easy as wink.’ So he made no trouble at all about leaving at the end of next week, and apparently is willing to initiate a young fellow, Joe Chambers, into as many mysteries of the craft as possible. I told him I would give him a month’s wages extra, when he left. He said he’d rather I kept my money, as I’d no occasion to ease my conscience. I asked him what he meant, and he said: ‘You don’t owe me nothing extra, Sir Clifford, so don’t pay me nothing extra. If you think you see my shirt hanging out, just tell me.’

‘Well, there is the end of it for the time being. The woman has gone away: we don’t know where to: but she is liable to arrest if she shows her face in Tevershall. And I heard she is mortally afraid of gaol, because she merits it so well. Mellors will depart on Saturday week, and the place will soon become normal again.

‘Meanwhile, my dear Connie, if you would enjoy to stay in Venice or in Switzerland till the beginning of August, I should be glad to think you were out of all this buzz of nastiness, which will have died quite away by the end of the month.

‘So you see, we are deep-sea monsters, and when the lobster walks on mud, he stirs it up for everybody. We must perforce take it philosophically.’

--