7.5 Bolton Tt 答應來做私人護士

7.5 Bolton Tt tah-èng lâi chò su-jîn hō͘-sū

"Che sī chi̍t ê hó lâm-po̍k ê chū-chí, i bat ho̍k-sāi hit ê i-seng ê chân-hùi pēⁿ-lâng, it-ti̍t kàu téng kò goe̍h sí-khì. I lâng chin hó, chin khak-tēng i ē khéng lâi."

"M̄-koh, góa pēng m̄-sī chân-hùi, góa bô boeh iōng lâm-po̍k," Clifford kóng, khó-liân ê koài-lâng.

"Chia ū nn̄g ê cha-bó͘--ê ê chū-chí; chi̍t ê góa kìⁿ kòe, yi chin sek-ha̍p; tāi-khài 50 hòe, tiām-chēng, ióng-chòng, jîn-chû, kàu-ióng mā bē mái..."

Clifford kan-ta kek àu-bīn, siáⁿ to bô ìn.

"Án-ne hó, Clifford. Kàu bîn-á-chài nā bô kiat-kio̍k, góa tio̍h khah tiān-pò hō͘ goán lāu-pē, goán tō kā Connie chhōa cháu."

"Connie kám khéng khì?" Clifford mn̄g.

"Yi m̄-khéng, m̄-koh yi chai, yi tio̍h án-ne. Goán lāu-bú sí tī gâm-chèng, in-ūi chhau-hoân kòe-tō͘. Lán m̄-thang koh mō͘-hiám ah."

Kàu tē jī kang, Clifford kiàn-gī boeh chhiàⁿ Bolton Tt [Thài-thài], Tevershall kàu-khu ê hō͘-sū. Chin bêng-hián che sī koán-ke Betts siūⁿ tio̍h ê. Bolton Tt tú boeh ùi kàu-khu chit-bū thè-hiu, teh boeh chò sū-jîn hō͘-sū. Clifford ū chi̍t ê koài-phiah, bô-ài chheⁿ-hūn-lâng chiàu-kò͘, m̄-koh chit ê Bolton Tt bat tī i tio̍h âng-jia̍t-pèⁿ ê sî chiàu-kò͘ kòe i, só͘-í i bat yi.

Nn̄g chí-mōe sûi khì pài-hóng Bolton Tt, sī tī Tevershall khah ko-kip ê ke-lō͘ ê chi̍t keng sin chhù. Yi sì-cha̍p gōa, seⁿ chò hó khòaⁿ, chhēng pe̍h ām-niá kap ûi-kûn ê chè-ho̍k, tī chi̍t keng e̍h-e̍h ê khí-ki-sit tng teh phàu-tê.

Bolton Tt chin hó-chhùi, chin hó-lé, hō͘ lâng kám-kak chin hó, kóng-ōe sió-khóa ū chāi-tē im, m̄-koh lóng sī chèng-khak ê Eng-gí, in-ūi khòaⁿ-kò͘ phòa-pēⁿ ê thòaⁿ-kang chē-chē nî, tit-tio̍h bē-mái ê miâ-siaⁿ, tùi ka-tī mā chin ū sìn-sim. Chóng-kóng, tī yin chit tô͘, yi sī chng-ni̍h ê léng-tō kai-kip, chin siū tio̍h chun-kèng.

"Sī ah, Chatterley Hj bīn-sek bô hó! Ná ē án-ne, kòe-khì yi chiâⁿ phòng-phôe, kám m̄-sī? Kôaⁿ-thiⁿ liáu yi tō sán lo̍h-lâi ah! Oh, án-ne chiâⁿ hāi, khó-liân ê Clifford Sià! Ah, che lóng sī chiàn-cheng hāi ê lah."

Bolton Tt tah-èng ē-sái sûi lâi Wragby, chí-iàu Shardlow I-seng ín-chún yi lī-khui. Lī chèng-sek thè-hiu iáu ū nn̄g lé-pài ê chit-bū, m̄-koh in ē-tàng chhiàⁿ lâng tāi-lí.

Hilda sûi kóaⁿ khì chhōe Shardlow I-seng, kàu āu lé-pài ji̍t, Bolton Tt tō kōaⁿ nn̄g kha hêng-lí siuⁿ, chē Leiver bé-chhia lâi kàu Wragby. Hilda kap yi kau-tâm kòe; Bolton Tt sûi-sî lóng kap lâng ū ōe kóng. Yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi chiâⁿ siàu-liân! Jia̍t-chêng ê sî, yi ê pe̍h-sek chhùi-phé tō hoán-âng. Yi sì-cha̍p chhit hòe.

Yin ang, Ted Bolton, sí tī khòng-khang sit-sū, 22 nî chêng, he sī 22 nî chêng ê Sèng-tàn-cheh, pàng yi kap nn̄g ê gín-á, kî-tiong chi̍t ê sī iáu tio̍h lâng phō ê âng-eⁿ-á. Oh, hit ê âng-eⁿ-á, Edith, taⁿ í-keng kiat-hun ah, kè hō͘ chi̍t ê tī Sheffield ê siàu-liân io̍h-chè-su. Lēng-gōa chi̍t ê gín-á taⁿ tī Chesterfield chò lāu-su; nā bô tāi-chì, chiu-boa̍t yi lóng ē tńg-lâi. Taⁿ ê siàu-liân-lâng lóng chai-iáⁿ án-chóaⁿ hiáng-siū, put-pí yi, Ivy Bolton, siàu-liân ê sî hit khoán.

Ted Bolton sí tī thòaⁿ-khang po̍k-chah ê sî 28 hòe. Thâu-chêng ê tông-phōaⁿ hoah-siaⁿ kiò in lóng phak lo̍h-lâi, in ū 4 lâng. Ta̍k-ê lóng kín phak-lo̍h, kan-ta Ted bô, soah hō͘ chah sí. Sū-āu ê tiâu-cha, thâu-ke hit pêng kóng, Ted tio̍h-kiaⁿ, siūⁿ boeh cháu, bô chun-siú bēng-lēng, só͘-í che ài sǹg i ka-tī m̄-tio̍h. Chū án-ne pôe-siông kan-ta 300 Eng-pōng, in koh kā che kóng kah ná chhiūⁿ pí hoat-tēng ê pôe-siông ke hó chin chē, in-ūi i ê sí si̍t-chāi sī i ka-tī ê m̄-tio̍h. In koh m̄-hō͘ in bó͘ Ivy chi̍t kái niá-chheng hiah-ê chîⁿ; yi pun-chiâⁿ siūⁿ boeh khui chi̍t keng tiàm-á. In kóng yi ē kā chîⁿ o͘-pe̍h khai tiāu, hoān-sè the̍h khì lim-chiú! Só͘-í, yi chí-hó múi lé-pài niá 30 shilling. Tio̍h, yi tio̍h tī ta̍k-lé-pài ê pài-it chá-khí khì pān-kong-sek, tī hia tán kúi-nā tiám-cheng chiah niá tio̍h chîⁿ; tio̍h, chha-put-to 4 nî ê sî-kan, ta̍k ê pài-it yi lóng ū khì. Hit nn̄g ê gín-á iáu hiah sè-hàn, yi boeh án-chóaⁿ hó? Ka-chài, Ted in lāu-bú tùi yi chin hó.

Gín-á ē kiâⁿ-lō͘ ê sî, ji̍t-sî hō͘ Ted in lāu-bú kò͘, Ivy Bolton tō khì Sheffield, chham-ka chiàn-tē pēⁿ-īⁿ ê hùn-liān, kàu tē sì nî, yi koh tha̍k hō͘-lí ê khò-thêng, pēng-chhiáⁿ the̍h tio̍h chu-keh. Yi koat-sim boeh to̍k-li̍p, ka-tī chhiâⁿ gín-á. Ū chi̍t chām yi tī Uthwaite pēⁿ-īⁿ chò chō͘-chhiú, che sī chi̍t ê sió só͘-chāi. Āu-lâi, Tevershall Thô͘-thòaⁿ Hōe-siā ê thâu-ke, iā-tō-sī Geoffrey Sià, khòaⁿ yi ē-tàng ka-tī phah-piāⁿ, tio̍h tùi yi hó, hō͘ yi chò kàu-khu ê hō͘-sū, koh chin chi-chhî yi, chiah-ê yi mā sī án-ne kóng. Chū án-ne yi it-ti̍t chò kàu taⁿ, chiām-chiām kám-kak sió-khóa siuⁿ chho͘-tāng, su-iàu chhōe khah khin-khó ê khang-khòe, in-ūi kàu-khu hō͘-sū ê khang-khòe sī put-sî to bô-êng chhih-chhih.

"Sī ah, Hōe-siā tùi góa chin hó, góa chóng-sī án-ne kóng. M̄-koh góa éng-oán bē bē-kì-tit in án-chóaⁿ kóng Ted, i ji̍p thòaⁿ-khang chóng-sī chi̍t ê kian-tēng koh ióng-kám ê cha-po͘ kiáⁿ, in án-ne kóng i, bē-su i sī chi̍t ê lám kha-siàu. M̄-koh, i í-keng sí ah, siáⁿ to bô-hoat-tō͘ piān-kái."

Yi kóng-ōe ê sî, hián-sī chhut chi̍t chióng kî-koài ê kám-chêng ê kau-chhap. Yi kah-ì hiah-ê khòng-kang, yi chiàu-kò͘ in chin kú ah; m̄-koh yi kám-kak ka-tī pí in tē-ūi khah koân. Yi kám-kak ka-tī chiap-kīn téng-chân kai-kip; m̄-koh sim-ni̍h koh chin oàn-chheh thóng-tī kai-kip. Thâu-ke! Tī thâu-ke kap sin-lô ê cheng-lūn, yi chóng-sī khiāⁿ sin-lô chit pêng. M̄-koh nā bô cheng-lūn ê sî, yi khiok chiàm koân, hi-bāng chò téng-chân kai-kip. Téng-chân kai-kip hō͘ yi tio̍h-bê, ín-khí yi tui-kiû chhut-thâu ê England jia̍t-chêng. Lâi kàu Wragby hō͘ yi chiâⁿ thiòng; kap Chatterley Hj kóng-ōe mā hō͘ yi chiâⁿ thiòng, láu-si̍t kóng, yi kap it-poaⁿ khòng-kang ê khan-chhiú chin bô kāng! Chiah-ê yi ka-tī mā chiâng-chāi án-ne kóng. M̄-koh, lí mā ē-tàng khòaⁿ tio̍h, yi piáu-hiān chhut tùi Chatterley ka-cho̍k ê oàn-hūn; tùi thâu-ke ê oàn-hūn.

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7.5 Bolton Tt 答應來做私人護士

"這是一个好男僕 ê 住址, 伊 bat 服務彼个醫生 ê 殘廢病人, 一直到頂個月死去. 伊人真好, 真確定伊會肯來."

"M̄-koh, 我並不是殘廢, 我無欲用男僕," Clifford 講, 可憐 ê 怪人.

"遮有兩个查某 ê ê 住址; 一个我見過, 她真適合; 大概 50 歲, 恬靜, 勇壯, 仁慈, 教養 mā 袂䆀..."

Clifford 干焦激漚面, 啥都無講.

"Án-ne 好, Clifford. 到明仔載若無結果, 我著敲電報予阮老爸, 阮 tō kā Connie chhōa 走."

"Connie 敢肯去?" Clifford 問.

"她毋肯, m̄-koh 她知, 她著 án-ne. 阮老母死 tī 癌症, 因為操煩過度. 咱毋通 koh 冒險 ah."

到第二工, Clifford 建議欲倩 Bolton Tt [太太], Tevershall 教區 ê 護士. 真明顯這是管家 Betts 想著 ê. Bolton Tt 拄欲 ùi 教區職務退休, teh 欲做私人護士. Clifford 有一個怪癖, 無愛生份人照顧, m̄-koh 這个 Bolton Tt bat tī 伊著紅熱病 ê 時照顧過伊, 所以伊 bat 她.

兩姊妹隨去拜訪 Bolton Tt, 是 tī Tevershall 較孤寂 ê 街路 ê 一間新厝. 她四十外, 生做好看, 穿白頷領 kap 圍裙 ê 制服, tī 一間狹狹 ê 起居室當 teh 泡茶.

Bolton Tt 真好喙, 真好禮, 予人感覺真好, 講話小可有在地音, m̄-koh 攏是正確 ê 英語, 因為看顧破病 ê 炭工濟濟年, 得著袂䆀 ê 名聲, 對家己 mā 真有信心. 總講, tī 姻這途, 她是庄 ni̍h ê 領導階級, 真受著尊敬.

"是 ah, Chatterley Hj 面色無好! 那會 án-ne, 過去她誠膨皮, 敢毋是? 寒天了她 tō 瘦落來 ah! Oh, án-ne 誠害, 可憐 ê Clifford Sià! Ah, 這攏是戰爭害 ê lah."

Bolton Tt 答應 ē-sái 隨來 Wragby, 只要 Shardlow 醫生允准她離開. 離正式退休猶有兩禮拜 ê 職務, m̄-koh in ē-tàng 倩人代理.

Hilda 隨趕去揣 Shardlow 醫生, 到後禮拜日, Bolton Tt tō 捾兩跤行李箱, 坐 Leiver 馬車來到 Wragby. Hilda kap 她交談過; Bolton Tt 隨時攏 kap 人有話講. 她看起來誠少年! 熱情 ê 時, 她 ê 白色喙䫌 tō 反紅. 她四十七歲.

姻翁, Ted Bolton, 死 tī 礦空失事, 22 年前, 彼是 22 年前 ê 聖誕節, 放她 kap 兩个囡仔, 其中一个是猶著人抱 ê 紅嬰仔, Edith, 今已經結婚 ah, 嫁予一个 tī Sheffield ê 少年藥劑師. 另外一个囡仔今 tī Chesterfield 做老師; 若無代誌, 周末她攏會轉來. 今 ê 少年人攏知影按怎享受, 不比她, Ivy Bolton, 少年 ê 時彼款.

Ted Bolton 死 tī 炭空爆炸 ê 時 28 歲. 頭前 ê 喝聲叫 in 攏 phak 落來, in 有 4 人. 逐人攏緊 phak 落, 干焦 Ted 無, 煞予炸死. 事後 ê 調查, 頭家彼爿講, Ted 著驚, 想欲走, 無遵守命令, 所以這愛算伊家己毋著. 自 án-ne 賠償干焦 300 英鎊, in koh kā 這講 kah ná 像比法定 ê 賠償加好真濟, 因為伊 ê 死實在是伊家己 ê 毋著. In koh 毋予 in 某 Ivy 一改領清 hiah-ê 錢; 她本成想欲開一間店仔. In 講她會 kā 錢烏白開掉, 凡勢去啉酒! 所以, 她只好每禮拜領 30 shilling. 著, 她著 tī 逐禮拜 ê 拜一早起去辦公室, tī 遐等幾若點鐘才領著錢; 著, 差不多 4 年 ê 時間, 逐个拜一她攏有去. 彼兩个囡仔猶 hiah 細漢, 她欲按怎好? 佳哉, Ted in 老母對她真好.

囡仔會行路 ê 時, 日時予 Ted in 老母顧, Ivy Bolton tō 去 Sheffield, 參加戰地病院 ê 訓練, 到第四年, 她 koh 讀護理 ê 課程, 並且提著資格. 她決心欲獨立, 家己晟囡仔. 有一站她 tī Uthwaite 病院做助手, 這是一个小所在. 後來, Tevershall 塗炭會社 ê 頭家, 也 tō 是 Geoffrey Sià, 看她 ē-tàng 家己拍拚, 著對她好, 予她做教區 ê 護士, koh 真支持她, chiah-ê 她 mā 是 án-ne 講. 自 án-ne 她一直做到今, 漸漸感覺小可 siuⁿ 粗重, 需要揣較輕可 ê khang-khòe, 因為教區護士 ê khang-khòe 是不時都無閒 chhih-chhih.

"是 ah, 會社對我真好, 我總是 án-ne 講 . M̄-koh 我永遠袂袂記得 in 按怎講 Ted, 伊入炭空總是一个堅定 koh 勇敢 ê 查埔囝, in án-ne 講伊, 袂輸伊是一个荏跤數. M̄-koh, 伊已經死 ah, 啥都無法度辯解."

她講話 ê 時, 顯示出一種奇怪 ê 感情 ê 交插. 她佮意 hiah-ê 礦工, 她照顧 in 真久 ah; m̄-koh 感覺她家己比 in 地位較懸. 她感覺家己接近頂層階級; m̄-koh 心 ni̍h koh 真怨慼統治階級. 頭家! Tī 頭家 kap 辛勞 ê 爭論, 她總是徛辛勞這爿. M̄-koh 若無爭論 ê 時, 她卻佔懸, 希望做頂層階級. 頂層階級予她著迷, 引起她追求出頭 ê England 熱情. 來到 Wragby 予她誠暢; kap Chatterley Hj 講話 mā 予她誠暢, 老實講, 她 kap 一般礦工 ê 牽手真無仝! Chiah-ê 她家己 mā 常在 án-ne 講. M̄-koh, 你 mā ē-tàng 看著, 她表現出對 Chatterley 家族 ê 怨恨; 對頭家 ê 怨恨.

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7.5

’Here is the address of a good manservant, who was with an invalid patient of the doctor’s till he died last month. He is really a good man, and fairly sure to come.’

’But I’m NOT an invalid, and I will NOT have a manservant,’ said Clifford, poor devil.

’And here are the addresses of two women; I saw one of them, she would do very well; a woman of about fifty, quiet, strong, kind, and in her way cultured...’

Clifford only sulked, and would not answer.


’Very well, Clifford. If we don’t settle something by tomorrow, I shall telegraph to Father, and we shall take Connie away.’

’Will Connie go?’ asked Clifford.

’She doesn’t want to, but she knows she must. Mother died of cancer, brought on by fretting. We’re not running any risks.’

So next day Clifford suggested Mrs Bolton, Tevershall parish nurse. Apparently Mrs Betts had thought of her. Mrs Bolton was just retiring from her parish duties to take up private nursing jobs. Clifford had a queer dread of delivering himself into the hands of a stranger, but this Mrs Bolton had once nursed him through scarlet fever, and he knew her.

The two sisters at once called on Mrs Bolton, in a newish house in a row, quite select for Tevershall. They found a rather good-looking woman of forty-odd, in a nurse’s uniform, with a white collar and apron, just making herself tea in a small crowded sitting-room.

Mrs Bolton was most attentive and polite, seemed quite nice, spoke with a bit of a broad slur, but in heavily correct English, and from having bossed the sick colliers for a good many years, had a very good opinion of herself, and a fair amount of assurance. In short, in her tiny way, one of the governing class in the village, very much respected.

’Yes, Lady Chatterley’s not looking at all well! Why, she used to be that bonny, didn’t she now? But she’s been failing all winter! Oh, it’s hard, it is. Poor Sir Clifford! Eh, that war, it’s a lot to answer for.’

And Mrs Bolton would come to Wragby at once, if Dr Shardlow would let her off. She had another fortnight’s parish nursing to do, by rights, but they might get a substitute, you know.

Hilda posted off to Dr Shardlow, and on the following Sunday Mrs Bolton drove up in Leiver’s cab to Wragby with two trunks. Hilda had talks with her; Mrs Bolton was ready at any moment to talk. And she seemed so young! The way the passion would flush in her rather pale cheek. She was forty-seven.

Her husband, Ted Bolton, had been killed in the pit, twenty-two years ago, twenty-two years last Christmas, just at Christmas time, leaving her with two children, one a baby in arms. Oh, the baby was married now, Edith, to a young man in Boots Cash Chemists in Sheffield. The other one was a schoolteacher in Chesterfield; she came home weekends, when she wasn’t asked out somewhere. Young folks enjoyed themselves nowadays, not like when she, Ivy Bolton, was young.

Ted Bolton was twenty-eight when lie was killed in an explosion down th’ pit. The butty in front shouted to them all to lie down quick, there were four of them. And they all lay down in time, only Ted, and it killed him. Then at the inquiry, on the masters’ side they said Ted had been frightened, and trying to run away, and not obeying orders, so it was like his fault really. So the compensation was only three hundred pounds, and they made out as if it was more of a gift than legal compensation, because it was really the man’s own fault. And they wouldn’t let her have the money down; she wanted to have a little shop. But they said she’d no doubt squander it, perhaps in drink! So she had to draw it thirty shillings a week. Yes, she had to go every Monday morning down to the offices, and stand there a couple of hours waiting her turn; yes, for almost four years she went every Monday. And what could she do with two little children on her hands? But Ted’s mother was very good to her.

When the baby could toddle she’d keep both the children for the day, while she, Ivy Bolton, went to Sheffield, and attended classes in ambulance, and then the fourth year she even took a nursing course and got qualified. She was determined to be independent and keep her children. So she was assistant at Uthwaite hospital, just a little place, for a while. But when the Company, the Tevershall Colliery Company, really Sir Geoffrey, saw that she could get on by herself, they were very good to her, gave her the parish nursing, and stood by her, she would say that for them. And she’d done it ever since, till now it was getting a bit much for her; she needed something a bit lighter, there was such a lot of traipsing around if you were a district nurse.

’Yes, the Company’s been very good to ME, I always say it. But I should never forget what they said about Ted, for he was as steady and fearless a chap as ever set foot on the cage, and it was as good as branding him a coward. But there, he was dead, and could say nothing to none of ‘em.’

It was a queer mixture of feelings the woman showed as she talked. She liked the colliers, whom she had nursed for so long; but she felt very superior to them. She felt almost upper class; and at the same time a resentment against the ruling class smouldered in her. The masters! In a dispute between masters and men, she was always for the men. But when there was no question of contest, she was pining to be superior, to be one of the upper class. The upper classes fascinated her, appealing to her peculiar English passion for superiority. She was thrilled to come to Wragby; thrilled to talk to Lady Chatterley, my word, different from the common colliers’ wives! She said so in so many words. Yet one could see a grudge against the Chatterleys peep out in her; the grudge against the masters.

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7.4 我著 chhōa 她去看醫生

7.4 Góa tio̍h chhōa yi khì khòaⁿ i-seng

Yi tiām-tiām ji̍p-khì kìⁿ Clifford. I jīn-ûi, yi seⁿ-chò chin súi, m̄-koh mā sió-khóa kiaⁿ yi. In bó͘ hit thâu ê lâng kiâⁿ-ta̍h bô kāng, bô in chia ê lé-sò͘. I kā in tòng-chò gōa-lâng, m̄-koh it-tān in ta̍h ji̍p chhù, in tō kā i pìⁿ kah lin-long se̍h.

I chāi-chāi chē tī i ê í-á téng, táⁿ-pān thé-biān, thâu-chang kim-ku̍t, bīn-iông chheng-sin, nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu phok-phok, phú-phú, piáu-chêng giâm-siok, su-bûn. Hilda jīn-ûi che sī im-tîm koh gōng-sîn. I tán teh khòaⁿ, thài-tō͘ an-tēng; m̄-koh, Hilda chiah bô koán i thài-tō͘ án-chóaⁿ, yi í-keng bú-chong hó-sè, chún-kóng i sī Kàu-hông a̍h-sī Kok-ông, yi mā kāng-khoán bô teh kiaⁿ.

"Connie khòaⁿ khí-lâi chin bô hó-sè," yi iōng jiû-jiû ê siaⁿ-im kóng, súi-súi, siū-khì ê phú-sek ba̍k-chiu kim-kim khòaⁿ i. Yi, kap Connie kāng-khoán, khòaⁿ khí-lâi ná siàu-lú, m̄-koh i chai, he kháu-khì lāi-té ū Scotland lâng ê kian-tēng kò͘-chip.

"Yi ū sió-khóa khah sán," i kóng.

"Lí kám ū siáⁿ pān-hoat?"

"Kám ū su-iàu án-chóaⁿ?" i mn̄g, kháu-khì un-hô, kian-tēng, England lâng kóng-ōe ê si̍p-koàn tō-sī án-ne.

Hilda kan-ta kā gîn chi̍t-ē, bô ìn siaⁿ; yi bô hèng tap-chhùi-kó͘, Connie mā kāng-khoán; só͘-í yi kan-ta gîn chi̍t-ē, án-ne, pí yi ū kóng siáⁿ koh-khah hō͘ i bē chū-chāi.

"Góa tio̍h chhōa yi khì khòaⁿ i-seng," kòe chi̍t khùn Hilda kóng. "Lí chai hū-kīn ū hó ê i-seng bô?"

"Góa m̄-chai neh."

"Nā án-ne, góa tio̍h chhōa yi khì London, hia góa ū goán sìn-jīm ê i-seng."

Clifford sim-ni̍h teh siū-khì, m̄-koh bô kóng siáⁿ.

"Góa khòaⁿ, e-àm góa seng tòa chia," Hilda kóng, ná kā chhiú-thò thǹg lo̍h-lâi, "bîn-á-chài chiah chài yi ji̍p-siâⁿ."

Clifford khì kah bīn-sek hoán n̂g, kàu àm-sî, liân i ê ba̍k-pe̍h mā siò-khóa n̂g ah. I ê koaⁿ-hóe teh to̍h.

M̄-koh Hilda it-ti̍t lóng chin khiam-hi, ná siàu-lú.

"Lí tio̍h ū hō͘-sū a̍h-sī siáⁿ-lâng, thang chiàu-kò͘ lí ê su-sū; siōng-hó sī chhōe chi̍t ê lâm-po̍k," chia̍h-àm pá, ta̍k-ê sim-chêng pêng-chēng chē lo̍h teh lim kapi ê sî, Hilda án-ne kóng. Yi ê kháu-khì pêng-hô, un-sūn, m̄-koh Clifford kám-kak ná chhiūⁿ hō͘ kùn-á kòng tio̍h thâu.

"Lí án-ne siūⁿ oh?" i léng-léng kā ìn.

"Tong-jiân! He ū sui-iàu. Tio̍h án-ne, nā bô, goán A-pa kap góa tio̍h kā Connie chhōa khui kúi kò goe̍h. Tāi-chì bē-sái án-ne kè-sio̍k lo̍h-khì."

"Siáⁿ sū bē-sái kè-sio̍k?"

"Lí kám bô hó-hó khòaⁿ chit ê gín-á?" Hilda mn̄g, sái khiā-ba̍k kā khòaⁿ, hit-sî i khòaⁿ tio̍h ná chhiūⁿ sa̍h se̍k ê liông-hē, yi án-ne kám-kak.

"Connie hām góa ē thó-lūn," i kóng.

"Góa í-keng kap yi thó-lūn kòe ah," Hilda kóng.

Clifford kòe-khì hō͘ hō͘-sū chiài-kò͘ chin kú ah; i thó-ià yin, in-ūi yin hāi i lóng bô su-jîn pì-bi̍t. Iah nā kóng lâm-po̍k! ... i bô hoat-tō͘ jím-siū cha-po͘ lâng tī i sin-piⁿ. Chòe-hó sī cha-bó͘--ê. Sī kóng, ná m̄ hō͘ Connie lâi chò tō hó?

Keh-kang chá-khí hit nn̄g chí-mōe sái-chhia lī-khui. Hilda sái-chhia, Connie chē yi piⁿ-á, sè-sè ná Koh-oa̍h cheh ê iûⁿ-á-kiáⁿ. Yin lāu-pē Malcolm Sià bô tī chhù, m̄-koh Kengsington chhù ê mn̄g bô só.

I-seng siông-sè kiám-cha Connie, koh mn̄g yi chē-chē seng-oa̍h ê sū-hāng.

"Góa bat tī ōe-pò khòaⁿ kòe lí kap Clifford Sià ê siòng-phìⁿ. Lín lóng sī chhut-miâ ê lâng, kám m̄-sī? Hit ê bûn-chēng ê chă-gín-á taⁿ tōa-hàn ah, sui-jiân siòng-phìⁿ khan tī ōe-pò, lí taⁿ iáu sī chiâⁿ bûn-chēng ê chă-gín-á. Bô tāi-chì, bô tāi-chì! Sin-thé khì-koan bô án-chóaⁿ, m̄-koh, bē-sái koh án-ne! Bē-sái koh án-ne! Tio̍h kiò Clifford chhōa lí lâi London, a̍h-sī khì chhut-kok, hó-hó gō͘-lo̍k leh. Lí tio̍h gō͘-lo̍k leh, tio̍h án-ne! Lí ê oa̍h-le̍k bô kàu; bô la̍t-té, bô la̍t-té. Sim-chōng ê sîn-keng mā sió-khóa koài-koài: oh, tio̍h! Bô-siáⁿ, kan-ta sîn-keng; nā khì Cannes a̍h Biarritz, chi̍t kò goe̍h góa pau lí tio̍h hó ah. M̄-koh bē-sái koh chhiūⁿ taⁿ án-ne, góa kā lí kóng: bē-sái, nā bô, hiō-kó góa bô hū-chek. Lí taⁿ sī teh siau-mô͘ lí ê sèⁿ-miā, bô hō͘ i chài-seng. Lí tio̍h hó-hó gō͘-lo̍k, kiān-khong ê gō͘-lo̍k. Lí tī teh siau-mô͘ lí ê oa̍h-le̍k, bô chhòng-chò sin--ê. Bē-sái koh án-ne, lí ài chai. Ap-le̍k! Bē-sái ū ap-le̍k!"

Hilda kā khí-kin kā ân, he sī teh piáu-sī bó͘ chióng ì-sū.

Michaelis thiaⁿ kóng yin lâi London, tō chah mûi-kùi-hoe kín lâi.

"Ai-ah, tó-ūi m̄ tú-hó?" i kiò. "Lí sán kah chhun lí ê iáⁿ. Ai-ah, góa m̄-bat khóaⁿ tio̍h chiah tōa ê piàn-hòa! Lí ná ē lóng bô kă kóng? Tòe góa lâi-khì Nice! A̍h sī kap góa lâi-khì Sicily! Hó lah, kap góa khì Sicily. Chit-chūn hia chin súi. Lí su-iàu ji̍t-thâu! Lí su-iàu hó-hó seng-oa̍h! Ai-ah, lí teh lōng-húi sèⁿ-miā! Tòe góa lâi-khì! Lâi-khì Afrika! Oh, Clifford Sià chin kai-sí! Pàng tiāu i, lâi tòe góa. Lín nā lī-hun, góa sûi tō kap lí kiat-hun. Tòe góa, lâi kòe chi̍t ê hó seng-oa̍h! Thiⁿ ah! Wragby hit ê só͘-chāi ē hāi-sí lâng. He sī kúi-á só͘-chāi! Lah-sap só͘-chāi! Ē hāi-sí lâng! Kín lī-khui, tòe góa lâi-khì ū ji̍t-thâu ê só͘-chāi! Lí su-iàu ê sī ji̍t-thâu, hām chi̍t-kóa chèng-siông ê seng-oa̍h."

M̄-koh, siūⁿ tio̍h chek-sî tō kā Clifford pàng-sak tī hia, yi ê sim kòe bē khì. Che yi chò bē-kàu. Bē-sái... bē-sái! Yi tō-sī pàng bē lo̍h. Yi tio̍h koh tńg-khì Wragby.

Michaelis chiâⁿ oàn-chheh. Hilda pēng bô kah-ì Michaelis, m̄-koh kám-kak i ū khah iâⁿ-kòe Clifford. Nn̄g chí-mōe koh tńg-lâi Midlands.

Hilda kā Clifford kóng khì London ê tāi-chì. Clifford iáu sī ba̍k-chiu n̂g-n̂g. I mā kāng-khoán, kòe-thâu chhau-hoân; m̄-koh i tio̍h thiaⁿ Hilda kóng, thiaⁿ i-seng kóng ê, tong-jiân bô thiaⁿ tio̍h Michaelis kóng ê, thiaⁿ chiah-ê iau-kiû ê ōe, i lóng tiām-tiām.

--

7.4 我著 chhōa 她去看醫生

她恬恬入去見 Clifford. 伊認為, 她生做真媠, m̄-koh mā 小可驚她. In 某彼頭 ê 人行踏無仝, 無 in 遮 ê 禮數. 伊 kā in 當做外人, m̄-koh 一旦 in 踏入厝, in tō kā 伊 pìⁿ kah lin-long 踅.

伊在在坐 tī 伊 ê 椅仔頂, 打扮體面, 頭鬃金滑, 面容清新, 藍色目睭 phok-phok, 殕殕表情嚴肅, 斯文. Hilda 認為這是陰沉 koh 戇神. 伊等 teh 看, 態度安定; m̄-koh, Hilda 才無管伊態度按怎, 她已經武裝好勢, 準講伊是教皇抑是國王, 她 mā 仝款無 teh 驚.

"Connie 看起來真無好勢," 她用柔柔 ê 聲音講, 媠媠, 受氣 ê 殕色目睭金金看伊. 她, kap Connie 仝款, 看起來 ná 少女, m̄-koh 伊知, 彼口氣內底有 Scotland 人 ê 堅定固執.

"她有小可較瘦," 伊講.

"你敢有啥辦法?"

"敢有需要按怎?" 伊問, 口氣溫和, 堅定, England 人講話 ê 習慣 tō 是 án-ne.

Hilda 干焦 kā 睨一下, 無應聲; 她無興答喙鼓, Connie mā 仝款; 所以她干焦睨一下, án-ne, 比她有講啥 koh 較予伊袂自在.

"我著 chhōa 她去看醫生," 過一睏 Hilda 講. "你知附近有好 ê 醫生無?"

"我毋知 neh."

"若 án-ne, 我著 chhōa 她去 London, 遐我有阮信任 ê 醫生."

Clifford 心 ni̍h teh 受氣, m̄-koh 無講啥.

"我看, 下暗我先蹛遮," Hilda 講, ná kā 手套褪落來, "明仔載才載她入城."

Clifford 氣 kah 面色反黃, 到暗時, 連伊 ê 目白 mā 小可黃 ah. 伊 ê 肝火 teh to̍h.

M̄-koh Hilda 一直攏真謙虛, ná 少女.

"你著有護士抑是啥人, 通照顧你 ê 私事; 上好是揣一个男僕," 食暗飽, 逐个心情平靜坐落 teh 啉 kapi ê 時, Hilda án-ne 講. 她 ê 口氣平和, 溫順, m̄-koh Clifford 感覺 ná 像予棍仔摃著頭.

"你 án-ne 想 oh?" 伊冷冷 kā 應.

"當然! 彼有需要. 著 án-ne, 若無, 阮阿爸 kap 我著 kā Connie chhōa 開幾個月. 代誌袂使 án-ne 繼續落去."

"啥事袂使繼續?"

"你敢無好好看這个囡仔?" Hilda 問, 使徛目 kā 看, 彼時伊看著 ná 像煠熟 ê 龍蝦, 她 án-ne 感覺.

"Connie 和我會討論," 伊講.

"我已經 kap 她討論過 ah," Hilda 講.

Clifford 過去予護士照顧真久 ah; 伊討厭姻, 因為姻害伊攏無私人秘密. Iah 若講男僕! ... 伊無法度忍受查埔人 tī 伊身邊. 最好是查某 ê. 是講, 那毋 hō͘ Connie 來做 tō 好?

隔工早起彼兩姊妹駛車離開. Hilda 駛車, Connie 坐她邊仔, 細細 ná Koh 活節 ê 羊仔囝. 姻老爸 Malcolm Sià 無 tī 厝, m̄-koh Kengsington 厝 ê 門無鎖.

醫生詳細檢查 Connie, koh 問她濟濟生活 ê 事項.

"我 bat tī 畫報看過你 kap Clifford Sià ê 相片. 恁攏是出名 ê 人, 敢毋是? 彼个文靜 ê chă 囡仔今大漢 ah, 雖然相片刊 tī 畫報, 你今猶是誠文靜 ê chă 囡仔. 無代誌, 無代誌! 身體器官無按怎, m̄-koh, 袂使 koh án-ne! 袂使 koh án-ne! 著叫 Clifford chhōa 你來 London, 抑是去出國, 好好娛樂 leh. 你著娛樂 leh, 著 án-ne! 你 ê 活力無夠; 無力底, 無力底. 心臟 ê 神經 mā 小可怪怪: oh, 著! 無啥, 干焦神經; 若去 Cannes 抑 Biarritz, 一個月我包你著好 ah. M̄-koh 袂使 koh 像今 án-ne, 我 kā 你講: 袂使, 若無, 後果我無負責. 你今是 teh 消磨你 ê 性命, 無予伊再生. 你著好好娛樂, 健康 ê 娛樂. 你 tī teh 消磨你 ê 活力, 無創造新 ê. 袂使 koh án-ne, 你愛知. 壓力! 袂使有壓力!"

Hilda kā 齒根咬 ân, 彼是 teh 表示某種意思.

Michaelis 聽講姻來 London, tō 扎玫瑰花緊來.

"Ai-ah, 佗位毋拄好?" 伊叫. "你瘦 kah 睶你 ê 影. Ai-ah, 我 m̄-bat 看著 chiah 大 ê 變化! 你那會攏無 kă 講? 綴我來去 Nice! 抑是 kap 我來去 Sicily! 好 lah, kap 我去 Sicily. 這陣遐真媠. 你需要日頭! 你需要好好生活! Ai-ah, 你 teh 浪費性命! 綴我來去! 來去 Afrika! Oh, Clifford Sià 真該死! 放掉伊, 來綴我. 恁若離婚, 我隨 tō kap 你結婚. 綴我, 來過一个好生活! 天 ah! Wragby 彼个所在會害死人. 彼是鬼仔所在! 垃圾所在! 會害死人! 緊離開, 綴我來去有日頭 ê 所在! 你需要 ê 是日頭, 和一寡正常 ê 生活."

M̄-koh, 想著即時 tō kā Clifford 放捒 tī 遐, 她 ê 心過袂去. 這她做袂到. 袂使... 袂使! 她 tō 是放袂落. 她著 koh 轉去 Wragby.

Michaelis 誠怨慼. Hilda 並無佮意 Michaelis, m̄-koh 感覺伊有較贏過 Clifford. 兩姊妹 koh 轉來 Midlands.

Hilda kā Clifford 講去 London ê 代誌. Clifford 猶是目睭黃黃. 伊 mā 仝款, 過頭操煩; m̄-koh 伊著聽 Hilda 講, 聽醫生講 ê, 當然無聽著 Michaelis 講 ê, 聽 chiah-ê 要求 ê 話, 伊攏恬恬.

--

7.4

She went quietly in to Clifford. He thought how handsome she looked, but also he shrank from her. His wife’s family did not have his sort of manners, or his sort of etiquette. He considered them rather outsiders, but once they got inside they made him jump through the hoop.

He sat square and well-groomed in his chair, his hair sleek and blond, and his face fresh, his blue eyes pale, and a little prominent, his expression inscrutable, but well-bred. Hilda thought it sulky and stupid, and he waited. He had an air of aplomb, but Hilda didn’t care what he had an air of; she was up in arms, and if he’d been Pope or Emperor it would have been just the same.

’Connie’s looking awfully unwell,’ she said in her soft voice, fixing him with her beautiful, glowering grey eyes. She looked so maidenly, so did Connie; but he well knew the tone of Scottish obstinacy underneath.

’She’s a little thinner,’ he said.


’Haven’t you done anything about it?’


’Do you think it necessary?’ he asked, with his suavest English stiffness, for the two things often go together.

Hilda only glowered at him without replying; repartee was not her forte, nor Connie’s; so she glowered, and he was much more uncomfortable than if she had said things.


’I’ll take her to a doctor,’ said Hilda at length. ‘Can you suggest a good one round here?’


’I’m afraid I can’t.’


’Then I’ll take her to London, where we have a doctor we trust.’


Though boiling with rage, Clifford said nothing.


’I suppose I may as well stay the night,’ said Hilda, pulling off her gloves, ‘and I’ll drive her to town tomorrow.’

Clifford was yellow at the gills with anger, and at evening the whites of his eyes were a little yellow too. He ran to liver.

But Hilda was consistently modest and maidenly.


’You must have a nurse or somebody, to look after you personally. You should really have a manservant,’ said Hilda as they sat, with apparent calmness, at coffee after dinner. She spoke in her soft, seemingly gentle way, but Clifford felt she was hitting him on the head with a bludgeon.

’You think so?’ he said coldly.

’I’m sure! It’s necessary. Either that, or Father and I must take Connie away for some months. This can’t go on.’

’What can’t go on?’

’Haven’t you looked at the child!’ asked Hilda, gazing at him full stare. He looked rather like a huge, boiled crayfish at the moment; or so she thought.

’Connie and I will discuss it,’ he said.


’I’ve already discussed it with her,’ said Hilda.

Clifford had been long enough in the hands of nurses; he hated them, because they left him no real privacy. And a manservant!...he couldn’t stand a man hanging round him. Almost better any woman. But why not Connie?


The two sisters drove off in the morning, Connie looking rather like an Easter lamb, rather small beside Hilda, who held the wheel. Sir Malcolm was away, but the Kensington house was open.


The doctor examined Connie carefully, and asked her all about her life.

‘I see your photograph, and Sir Clifford’s, in the illustrated papers sometimes. Almost notorieties, aren’t you? That’s how the quiet little girls grow up, though you’re only a quiet little girl even now, in spite of the illustrated papers. No, no! There’s nothing organically wrong, but it won’t do! It won’t do! Tell Sir Clifford he’s got to bring you to town, or take you abroad, and amuse you. You’ve got to be amused, got to! Your vitality is much too low; no reserves, no reserves. The nerves of the heart a bit queer already: oh, yes! Nothing but nerves; I’d put you right in a month at Cannes or Biarritz. But it mustn’t go on, MUSTN’T, I tell you, or I won’t be answerable for consequences. You’re spending your life without renewing it. You’ve got to be amused, properly, healthily amused. You’re spending your vitality without making any. Can’t go on, you know. Depression! Avoid depression!’

Hilda set her jaw, and that meant something.

Michaelis heard they were in town, and came running with roses.

‘Why, whatever’s wrong?’ he cried. ‘You’re a shadow of yourself. Why, I never saw such a change! Why ever didn’t you let me know? Come to Nice with me! Come down to Sicily! Go on, come to Sicily with me. It’s lovely there just now. You want sun! You want life! Why, you’re wasting away! Come away with me! Come to Africa! Oh, hang Sir Clifford! Chuck him, and come along with me. I’ll marry you the minute he divorces you. Come along and try a life! God’s love! That place Wragby would kill anybody. Beastly place! Foul place! Kill anybody! Come away with me into the sun! It’s the sun you want, of course, and a bit of normal life.’

But Connie’s heart simply stood still at the thought of abandoning Clifford there and then. She couldn’t do it. No... no! She just couldn’t. She had to go back to Wragby.

Michaelis was disgusted. Hilda didn’t like Michaelis, but she ALMOST preferred him to Clifford. Back went the sisters to the Midlands.

Hilda talked to Clifford, who still had yellow eyeballs when they got back. He, too, in his way, was overwrought; but he had to listen to all Hilda said, to all the doctor had said, not what Michaelis had said, of course, and he sat mum through the ultimatum.

--

7.3 袂記得肉體, 你 tō 會快活

7.3 Bē-kì-tit bah-thé, lí tō ē khùiⁿ-oa̍h

"Kàu pài-la̍k, chèng-hú tō tī khong-khì ni̍h pàng í-thài (ether), hō͘ chiu-boa̍t chhiong-móa khoài-lo̍k!" Jack kóng. "Ká-ná bē-bái, m̄-koh pài-saⁿ lán boeh án-chóaⁿ?"

"Chí-iàu lí bē-kì-tit lí ê bah-thé, lí tō ē khùiⁿ-oa̍h," Bennerley Hj kóng. "Lí nā ti-kak tio̍h bah-thé ê chûn-chāi, lí tō ē kám-kak tio̍h thòng-khó͘. Só͘-í kóng, bûn-bêng nā ū siáⁿ hó-chhù, i tio̍h pang lán bē-kì-tit lán ê bah-thé, hō͘ lán thang khoài-lo̍k kòe-ji̍t, m̄-bián kòa-lū."

"Pang lán kā bah-thé oân-choân the̍h tiāu," Winterslow kóng. "Lán lâng khai-sí kái-chìn pún-sèng ê sî-kan kàu ah, iû-kî sī bah-thé hong-bīn."

"Siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, lán nā chhiūⁿ hun ê ian án-ne phiau," Connie kóng.

"Bē án-ne lah," Duke kóng. "Lán ê kū hì-chhut tit-boeh soah ah; lán ê bûn-bêng tit-boeh tūi-lo̍h ah. I tng teh lak-lo̍h bô-té ê khut, bô-té ê chhim-kheⁿ. Siong-sìn góa, hōa-kòe chhim-kheⁿ ê kiô kan-ta sī hit-ki (phallus)!"

"Oh, hó-ah! He bô khó-lêng, Chiong-kun!" Olive ai-siaⁿ kóng.

"Góa siong-sìn lán ê bûn-bêng tit-boeh tó ah," Eva A-ko͘ kóng.

"Āu-piah lâi ê sī siáⁿ?" Clifford mn̄g.

"Góa mā m̄-chai, góa siūⁿ, chóng-sī ū mi̍h-kiāⁿ ē lâi." lāu hu-jîn kóng.

"Connie kóng, lâng tō ná hun ê ian, Olive kóng bô-thoa-bôa ê cha-bó͘, âng-eⁿ-á tī koàn-á té, iah Dukes kóng hit-ki sī kiâⁿ-kòe bī-lâi ê kiô. Góa m̄-chai tàu-té he ē sī siáⁿ-mih?" Clifford kóng.

"Oh, mài hoân-ló! Seng kóng gán-chêng ê tāi-chì," Olive kóng. "Kín hoat-bêng chhi̍h kiáⁿ ê koàn-á, hō͘ cha-bó͘ khah chheng-êng leh."

"Āu kai-tōaⁿ khó-lêng ē ū chin-chiàⁿ ê lâng," Tommy kóng. "Chin-chiàⁿ ū tì-hūi, kiān-choân ê cha-po͘, kap kiān-choân, khó-ài ê cha-bó͘! He kám m̄-sī tōa ê kái-piàn, kap taⁿ ê lán ū chin tōa ê kái-piàn? Lán taⁿ, cha-po͘ m̄-sī cha-po͘, cha-bó͘ m̄-sī cha-bó͘. Lán chí-sī pòaⁿ sêng-phín, sī ki-khì kap tì-hūi ê si̍t-giām phín. Ū khó-lêng ē ū chi̍t ê chin-chiàⁿ cha-po͘ kap cha-bó͘ ê bûn-bêng, lâi thè-ōaⁿ lán chiah-ê kan-ta ū 7 hòe tì-hūi ê sió thiú-á. Che tiāⁿ-tio̍h pí ná ian ê lâng a̍h-sī koàn-á té ê âng-eⁿ-á koh-khah hó-sńg."

"Oh, lâng nā teh kóng chin-chiāⁿ ê cha-bó͘, góa tō soah ah," Olive kóng.

"Tong-jiân ah, kan-ta lán-lâng ê cheng-sîn ta̍t-tit pó-sioh," Winterslow kóng.

"Cheng-sîn!" Jack ná kóng ná lim i ê wiski soda.

"Lí án-ne siūⁿ? Góa ài ū bah-thé ê koh-oa̍h!" Dukes kóng.

"He chá-bān eng-kai ē lâi, tán lán seng kā khōng ku-lí ê thâu-khak, kim-chîⁿ, téng-téng sió sak-khui leh. Nā án-ne, lán tō ū chiap-chhiok ê demokrasi, m̄-sī lak-tē-á ê demokrasi."

Connie sim-ni̍h án-ne teh ìn: "Hō͘ góa chiap-chhiok ê demokrasi, hō͘ góa bah-thé ê koh-oa̍h!" Yi si̍t-chāi pēng m̄-chai he sī siáⁿ ì-sù, m̄-koh che hō͘ yi tit-tio̍h an-ùi, sui-jiân bô ì-gī, m̄-koh ū-hāu.

Chóng--sī, ta̍k-hāng lóng chiok hàm-kó͘, chhiūⁿ Clifford, Eva A-ko͘, Olive kap Jack, a̍h Winterslow, sīm-chì Duke, chiah-ê lóng hō͘ yi kám-kak chiok bô-liâu. Kóng, kóng, kóng! Chi-bú-sī-sū, tàu-té sī teh kóng siáⁿ óaⁿ-ko!

M̄-koh, tán ta̍k-ê lóng lī-khui liáu, tāi-chì mā bô piàn khah hó. Yi kè-sio̍k thoa-pō͘ kòe-ji̍t, m̄-koh iáu-sī kám-kak kui-sin ê ak-chak kap chhì-chha̍k, bô hoat-tō͘ cháu-siám. Ji̍t-chí ná chhiūⁿ teh toa-bôa, ū bo̍k-bêng ê thòng-khó͘, m̄-koh siáⁿ to bô hoat-seng. Chí-sī yi piàn siau-sán; liân koán-ke mā ū chù-ì tio̍h, mn̄g yi sī án-chóaⁿ. Sīm-chì Tommy Dukes mā kian-chhî kóng yi lâng ū-tāi-chì, sui-bóng yi kóng, yi bô án-chóaⁿ. Chí-sī yi khai-sí kiaⁿ hiah-ê khióng-pò͘ ê pe̍h-sek bōng-pâi, hiah-ê Carrara tāi-lí-chio̍h ê kî-koài, thó-ià ê pe̍h-sek, ná chhiūⁿ ké-chhùi-khí hiah khó-phà, chhāi tī Tevershall kàu-tn̂g ē-bīn ê soaⁿ-lūn téng, chiah-ê yi ùi lîm-hn̂g tō ē khòaⁿ tio̍h, kám-kak chiok ut-chut, chiok thòng-khó͘. Hiah-ê chhāi tī soaⁿ-lūn téng ê bōng-pâi, ná pok chhut-lâi ê siâ-o̍͘k ké-chhùi-khí, hō͘ yi kám-siū tio̍h im-tîm-tîm ê khióng-pò͘. Yi kám-kak ka-tī kòe bô gōa kú, mā ē hông tâi tī hia, tī chit ê a-cha ê Midlands só͘-chāi, ka-ji̍p bōng-pâi ē-bīn ê kúi-á tīn.

Yi su-iàu pang-bâng, yi mā chai: só͘-í yi siá chi̍t tiuⁿ phe hō͘ in A-chí Hilda, sió-khóa thàu-lō͘ yi ê sim-siaⁿ. "Góa kīn-lâi bô siáⁿ hó, góa mā m̄-chai tàu-té sī án-chóaⁿ."

Hilda sûi tō kóaⁿ-kín ùi yi tòa ê Scotland lâi lah. Hit-sî sī saⁿ goe̍h, yi ka-tī chi̍t lâng, sái chi̍t chiah nn̄g-lâng-chō ê sè-chiah chhia lâi. Yi iân chhia-lō͘ peh-kiā khí-lâi, se̍h kòe chhù chêng pêⁿ-tē téng-bīn, ū nn̄g châng iá-seng tōa ke-jiû chhiū (beech-tree) ê hit tè tn̂g-ti-îⁿ chháu-po͘.

Connie chhut-lâi, kiâⁿ kàu mn̂g-kháu ê khàm-á hia. Hilda kā chhia sái óa, lo̍h chhia, lám sió-mōe koh kā chim.

"Connie ah!" yi hoah kóng. "Sī án-chóaⁿ lah?"

"Bô siáⁿ lah!" Connie kóng, bīn-sek kiàn-siàu; yi chai, taⁿ yi kap Hilda chha chin chē. Kòe-khì nn̄g chí-mōe ū kāng-khoán kim-sek, kng-ku̍t ê phôe-hu, jiû-nńg chang-sek ê thâu-mo͘, thian-jiân ióng-chòng, un-loán ê thé-keh. M̄-koh, taⁿ Connie siau-sán, bīn-sek chhám-tām, ùi saⁿ-niá chhun chhut ê ām-kún ta-sán, tài n̂g.

"Koai gín-á, lí lâng ū-tāi-chì!" Hilda iōng nn̄g chí-mōe sio-kāng ê jiû siáⁿ kóng. Hilda ke Connie tōa bô nn̄g hòe.

"Bô, góa bô pēⁿ. Khó-lêng sī in-ūi bô-liâu," Connie iōng kám-siong ê kháu-khì kóng.

Hilda ê bīn hián-chhut chiàn-tàu ê kng; sui-jiân yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi un-jiû, tiām-chēng, m̄-koh yi sī sio̍k kó͘-chá lú-chiàn-sū hit lūi ê cha-bó͘, kap cha-po͘ bē tàu-tah.

"Chit-chióng àu só͘-chāi!" yi ná khin-siaⁿ kóng, ná chheh-bīn khòaⁿ khó-liân, pāi-lo̍h ê lāu Wragby. Yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi un-jiû, un-loán, ná chhiūⁿ se̍k ê lâi-á, kî-si̍t yi sī chin-chiàⁿ kó͘-chá ê lú-chiàn-sū.

--

7.3 袂記得肉體, 你 tō 會快活

"到拜六, 政府 tō tī 空氣 ni̍h 放以太 (ether), 予周末充滿快樂!" Jack 講. "Ká-ná 袂䆀, m̄-koh 拜三咱欲按怎?"

"只要你袂記得你 ê 肉體, 你 tō 會快活," Bennerley Hj 講. "你若知覺著肉體 ê 存在, 你 tō 會感覺著痛苦. 所以講, 文明若有啥好處, 伊著幫咱袂記得咱 ê 肉體, 予咱通快樂過日, 毋免掛慮."

"幫咱 kā 肉體完全提掉," Winterslow 講. "咱人開始改進本性 ê 時間到 ah, 尤其是肉體方面."

"想看覓, 咱 ná 像薰 ê 煙 án-ne 飄," Connie 講.

"袂 án-ne lah," Duke 講. "咱 ê 舊戲齣得欲煞 ah; 咱 ê 文明得欲墜落 ah. 伊當 teh lak 落無底 ê 窟, 無底 ê 深坑. 相信我, 伐過深坑 ê 橋干焦是彼支 (phallus)!"

"Oh, 好 ah! 彼無可能, 將軍!" Olive 哀聲講.

"我相信咱 ê 文明得欲倒 ah," Eva 阿姑講.

"後壁來 ê 是啥?" Clifford 問.

"我 mā 毋知, 我想, 總是有物件會來." 老夫人講.

"Connie 講, 人 tō ná 薰 ê 煙, Olive 講無拖磨 ê 查某, 紅嬰仔 tī 罐仔底, iah Dukes 講彼支是行過未來 ê 橋. 我毋知到底彼會是啥物?" Clifford 講.

"Oh, 莫煩惱! 先講眼前 ê 代誌," Olive 講. "緊發明飼囝 ê 罐仔, 予查某較清閒 leh."

"後階段可能會有真正 ê 人," Tommy 講. "真正有智慧, 健全 ê 查埔, kap 健全, 可愛 ê 查某! 彼敢毋是大 ê 改變, kap 今 ê 咱有真大 ê 改變? 咱今, 查埔毋是查埔, 查某毋是查某. 咱只是半成品, 是機器 kap 智慧 ê 實驗品. 有可能會有一个真正查埔 kap 查某 ê 文明, 來替換咱 chiah-ê 干焦有 7 歲智慧 ê 小丑仔. 這定著比 ná 煙 ê 人抑是罐仔底 ê 紅嬰仔 koh 較好耍."

"Oh, 人若 teh 講真正 ê 查某, 我 tō 煞 ah," Olive 講.

"當然 ah, 干焦咱人 ê 精神值得寶惜," Winterslow 講.

"精神!" Jack ná 講 ná 啉伊 ê wiski soda.

"你按怎想? 我愛有肉體 ê koh 活!" Dukes 講.

"彼早慢應該會來, 等咱先 kā khōng ku-lí ê 頭殼, 金錢, 等等小捒開 leh. 若 án-ne, 咱 tō 有接觸 ê demokrasi, 毋是 lak 袋仔 ê demokrasi."

Connie 心 ni̍h án-ne teh 應: "予我接觸 ê demokrasi, 予我肉體 ê koh 活!" 她實在並毋知彼是啥意思, m̄-koh 這予她得著安慰, 雖然無意義, m̄-koh 有效.

總是, 逐項攏足譀古, 像 Clifford, Eva 阿姑, Olive kap Jack, 抑 Winterslow, 甚至 Duke, chiah-ê 攏予她感覺足無聊. 講, 講, 講! Chi-bú-sī-sū, 到底是 teh 講啥碗糕!

M̄-koh, 等逐个攏離開了, 代誌 mā 無變較好. 她繼續拖步過日, m̄-koh 猶是感覺規身 ê 齷齪 kap 刺鑿, 無法度走閃. 日子 ná 像 teh 拖磨, 有莫名 ê 痛苦, m̄-koh 啥都無發生. 只是她變消瘦; 連管家 mā 有注意著, 問她是按怎. 甚至 Tommy Dukes mā 堅持講她人有代誌, 雖罔她講, 她無按怎. 只是她開始驚 hiah-ê 恐怖 ê 白色墓牌, hiah-ê Carrara 大理石 ê 奇怪, 討厭 ê 白色, ná 像假喙齒 hiah 可怕, 祀 tī Tevershall 教堂下面 ê 山崙頂, chiah-ê 她 ùi 林園 tō 會看著, 感覺足鬱卒, 足痛苦. Hiah-ê 祀 tī 山崙頂 ê 墓牌, ná 暴出來 ê 邪惡假喙齒, 予她感受著陰沉沉 ê 恐怖. 她感覺家己過無偌久, mā 會 hông 埋 tī 遐, tī 這个 a-cha ê Midlands 所在, 加入墓牌下面 ê 鬼仔陣.

她需要幫忙, 她 mā 知: 所以她寫一張批予 in 阿姊 Hilda, 小可透露她 ê 心聲. "我近來無啥好, 我 mā 毋知到底是按怎."

Hilda 隨 tō 趕緊 ùi 她蹛 ê Scotland 來 lah. 彼時是三月, 她家己一人, 駛一隻兩人座 ê 細隻車來. 她沿車路 peh 崎起來, 踅過厝前平地頂面, 有兩叢野生大雞榆樹 (beech-tree) ê 彼塊長 ti 圓草埔.

Connie 出來, 行到門口 ê 坎仔遐. Hilda kā 車駛倚, 落車, 攬小妹 koh kā 唚.

"Connie ah!" 她喝講. "是按怎 lah?"

"無啥 lah!" Connie 講, 面色見笑; 她知, 今她 kap Hilda 差真濟. 過去兩姊妹有仝款金色, 光滑 ê 皮膚, 柔軟棕色 ê 頭毛, 天然勇壯, 溫暖 ê 體格. M̄-koh, 今 Connie 消瘦, 面色慘淡, ùi 衫領伸出 ê 頷頸焦瘦, 帶黃.

"乖囡仔, 你人有代誌!" Hilda 用兩姊妹相仝 ê 柔聲講. Hilda 加 Connie 大無兩歲.

"無, 我無病. 可能是因為無聊," Connie 用感傷 ê 口氣講.

Hilda ê 面顯出戰鬥 ê 光; 雖然她看起來溫柔, 恬靜, m̄-koh 她是屬古早女戰士彼類 ê 查某, kap 查埔袂鬥搭.

"這種漚所在!" 她 ná 輕聲講, ná 慼面看可憐, 敗落 ê 老 Wragby. 她看起來溫柔, 溫暖, ná 像熟 ê 梨仔, 其實她是真正古早 ê 女戰士.

--

7.3

’The government releasing ether into the air on Saturdays, for a cheerful weekend!’ said Jack. ‘Sounds all right, but where should we be by Wednesday?’

’So long as you can forget your body you are happy,’ said Lady Bennerley. ‘And the moment you begin to be aware of your body, you are wretched. So, if civilization is any good, it has to help us to forget our bodies, and then time passes happily without our knowing it.’

’Help us to get rid of our bodies altogether,’ said Winterslow. ‘It’s quite time man began to improve on his own nature, especially the physical side of it.’

’Imagine if we floated like tobacco smoke,’ said Connie.

’It won’t happen,’ said Dukes. ‘Our old show will come flop; our civilization is going to fall. It’s going down the bottomless pit, down the chasm. And believe me, the only bridge across the chasm will be the phallus!’

’Oh do! DO be impossible, General!’ cried Olive.

’I believe our civilization is going to collapse,’ said Aunt Eva.

’And what will come after it?’ asked Clifford.

’I haven’t the faintest idea, but something, I suppose,’ said the elderly lady.

’Connie says people like wisps of smoke, and Olive says immunized women, and babies in bottles, and Dukes says the phallus is the bridge to what comes next. I wonder what it will really be?’ said Clifford.

’Oh, don’t bother! let’s get on with today,’ said Olive. ‘Only hurry up with the breeding bottle, and let us poor women off.’


’There might even be real men, in the next phase,’ said Tommy. ‘Real, intelligent, wholesome men, and wholesome nice women! Wouldn’t that be a change, an enormous change from us? WE’RE not men, and the women aren’t women. We’re only cerebrating make-shifts, mechanical and intellectual experiments. There may even come a civilization of genuine men and women, instead of our little lot of clever-jacks, all at the intelligence-age of seven. It would be even more amazing than men of smoke or babies in bottles.’

’Oh, when people begin to talk about real women, I give up,’ said Olive.

’Certainly nothing but the spirit in us is worth having,’ said Winterslow.

’Spirits!’ said Jack, drinking his whisky and soda.

’Think so? Give me the resurrection of the body!’ said Dukes.

’But it’ll come, in time, when we’ve shoved the cerebral stone away a bit, the money and the rest. Then we’ll get a democracy of touch, instead of a democracy of pocket.’

Something echoed inside Connie: ‘Give me the democracy of touch, the resurrection of the body!’ She didn’t at all know what it meant, but it comforted her, as meaningless things may do.

Anyhow everything was terribly silly, and she was exasperatedly bored by it all, by Clifford, by Aunt Eva, by Olive and Jack, and Winterslow, and even by Dukes. Talk, talk, talk! What hell it was, the continual rattle of it!

Then, when all the people went, it was no better. She continued plodding on, but exasperation and irritation had got hold of her lower body, she couldn’t escape. The days seemed to grind by, with curious painfulness, yet nothing happened. Only she was getting thinner; even the housekeeper noticed it, and asked her about herself. Even Tommy Dukes insisted she was not well, though she said she was all right. Only she began to be afraid of the ghastly white tombstones, that peculiar loathsome whiteness of Carrara marble, detestable as false teeth, which stuck up on the hillside, under Tevershall church, and which she saw with such grim painfulness from the park. The bristling of the hideous false teeth of tombstones on the hill affected her with a grisly kind of horror. She felt the time not far off when she would be buried there, added to the ghastly host under the tombstones and the monuments, in these filthy Midlands.

She needed help, and she knew it: so she wrote a little CRI DU COEUR to her sister, Hilda. ‘I’m not well lately, and I don’t know what’s the matter with me.’

Down posted Hilda from Scotland, where she had taken up her abode. She came in March, alone, driving herself in a nimble two-seater. Up the drive she came, tooting up the incline, then sweeping round the oval of grass, where the two great wild beech-trees stood, on the flat in front of the house.

Connie had run out to the steps. Hilda pulled up her car, got out, and kissed her sister.

’But Connie!’ she cried. ‘Whatever is the matter?’

’Nothing!’ said Connie, rather shamefacedly; but she knew how she had suffered in contrast to Hilda. Both sisters had the same rather golden, glowing skin, and soft brown hair, and naturally strong, warm physique. But now Connie was thin and earthy-looking, with a scraggy, yellowish neck, that stuck out of her jumper.

’But you’re ill, child!’ said Hilda, in the soft, rather breathless voice that both sisters had alike. Hilda was nearly, but not quite, two years older than Connie.

’No, not ill. Perhaps I’m bored,’ said Connie a little pathetically.

The light of battle glowed in Hilda’s face; she was a woman, soft and still as she seemed, of the old amazon sort, not made to fit with men.

’This wretched place!’ she said softly, looking at poor, old, lumbering Wragby with real hate. She looked soft and warm herself, as a ripe pear, and she was an amazon of the real old breed.

--