7.3 Bē-kì-tit bah-thé, lí tō ē khùiⁿ-oa̍h
"Kàu pài-la̍k, chèng-hú tō tī khong-khì nih pàng í-thài (ether), hō͘ chiu-boa̍t chhiong-móa khoài-lo̍k!" Jack kóng. "Ká-ná bē-bái, m̄-koh pài-saⁿ lán boeh án-chóaⁿ?"
"Chí-iàu lí bē-kì-tit lí ê bah-thé, lí tō ē khùiⁿ-oa̍h," Bennerley Hj kóng. "Lí nā ti-kak tio̍h bah-thé ê chûn-chāi, lí tō ē kám-kak tio̍h thòng-khó͘. Só͘-í kóng, bûn-bêng nā ū siáⁿ hó-chhù, i tio̍h pang lán bē-kì-tit lán ê bah-thé, hō͘ lán thang khoài-lo̍k kòe-ji̍t, m̄-bián kòa-lū."
"Pang lán kā bah-thé oân-choân the̍h tiāu," Winterslow kóng. "Lán lâng khai-sí kái-chìn pún-sèng ê sî-kan kàu ah, iû-kî sī bah-thé hong-bīn."
"Siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, lán nā chhiūⁿ hun ê ian án-ne phiau," Connie kóng.
"Bē án-ne lah," Duke kóng. "Lán ê kū hì-chhut tit-boeh soah ah; lán ê bûn-bêng tit-boeh tūi-lo̍h ah. I tng teh lak-lo̍h bô-té ê khut, bô-té ê chhim-kheⁿ. Siong-sìn góa, hōa-kòe chhim-kheⁿ ê kiô kan-ta sī hit-ki (phallus)!"
"Oh, hó-ah! He bô khó-lêng, Chiong-kun!" Olive ai-siaⁿ kóng.
"Góa siong-sìn lán ê bûn-bêng tit-boeh tó ah," Eva A-ko͘ kóng.
"Āu-piah lâi ê sī siáⁿ?" Clifford mn̄g.
"Góa mā m̄-chai, góa siūⁿ, chóng-sī ū mi̍h-kiāⁿ ē lâi." lāu hu-jîn kóng.
"Connie kóng, lâng tō ná hun ê ian, Olive kóng bô-thoa-bôa ê cha-bó͘, âng-eⁿ-á tī koàn-á té, iah Dukes kóng hit-ki sī kiâⁿ-kòe bī-lâi ê kiô. Góa m̄-chai tàu-té he ē sī siáⁿ-mih?" Clifford kóng.
"Oh, mài hoân-ló! Seng kóng gán-chêng ê tāi-chì," Olive kóng. "Kín hoat-bêng chhi̍h kiáⁿ ê koàn-á, hō͘ cha-bó͘ khah chheng-êng leh."
"Āu kai-tōaⁿ khó-lêng ē ū chin-chiàⁿ ê lâng," Tommy kóng. "Chin-chiàⁿ ū tì-hūi, kiān-choân ê cha-po͘, kap kiān-choân, khó-ài ê cha-bó͘! He kám m̄-sī tōa ê kái-piàn, kap taⁿ ê lán ū chin tōa ê kái-piàn? Lán taⁿ, cha-po͘ m̄-sī cha-po͘, cha-bó͘ m̄-sī cha-bó͘. Lán chí-sī pòaⁿ sêng-phín, sī ki-khì kap tì-hūi ê si̍t-giām phín. Ū khó-lêng ē ū chi̍t ê chin-chiàⁿ cha-po͘ kap cha-bó͘ ê bûn-bêng, lâi thè-ōaⁿ lán chiah-ê kan-ta ū 7 hòe tì-hūi ê sió thiú-á. Che tiāⁿ-tio̍h pí ná ian ê lâng a̍h-sī koàn-á té ê âng-eⁿ-á koh-khah hó-sńg."
"Oh, lâng nā teh kóng chin-chiāⁿ ê cha-bó͘, góa tō soah ah," Olive kóng.
"Tong-jiân ah, kan-ta lán-lâng ê cheng-sîn ta̍t-tit pó-sioh," Winterslow kóng.
"Cheng-sîn!" Jack ná kóng ná lim i ê wiski soda.
"Lí án-ne siūⁿ? Góa ài ū bah-thé ê koh-oa̍h!" Dukes kóng.
"He chá-bān eng-kai ē lâi, tán lán seng kā khōng ku-lí ê thâu-khak, kim-chîⁿ, téng-téng sió sak-khui leh. Nā án-ne, lán tō ū chiap-chhiok ê demokrasi, m̄-sī lak-tē-á ê demokrasi."
Connie sim-nih án-ne teh ìn: "Hō͘ góa chiap-chhiok ê demokrasi, hō͘ góa bah-thé ê koh-oa̍h!" Yi si̍t-chāi pēng m̄-chai he sī siáⁿ ì-sù, m̄-koh che hō͘ yi tit-tio̍h an-ùi, sui-jiân bô ì-gī, m̄-koh ū-hāu.
Chóng--sī, ta̍k-hāng lóng chiok hàm-kó͘, chhiūⁿ Clifford, Eva A-ko͘, Olive kap Jack, a̍h Winterslow, sīm-chì Duke, chiah-ê lóng hō͘ yi kám-kak chiok bô-liâu. Kóng, kóng, kóng! Chi-bú-sī-sū, tàu-té sī teh kóng siáⁿ óaⁿ-ko!
M̄-koh, tán ta̍k-ê lóng lī-khui liáu, tāi-chì mā bô piàn khah hó. Yi kè-sio̍k thoa-pō͘ kòe-ji̍t, m̄-koh iáu-sī kám-kak kui-sin ê ak-chak kap chhì-chha̍k, bô hoat-tō͘ cháu-siám. Ji̍t-chí ná chhiūⁿ teh toa-bôa, ū bo̍k-bêng ê thòng-khó͘, m̄-koh siáⁿ to bô hoat-seng. Chí-sī yi piàn siau-sán; liân koán-ke mā ū chù-ì tio̍h, mn̄g yi sī án-chóaⁿ. Sīm-chì Tommy Dukes mā kian-chhî kóng yi lâng ū-tāi-chì, sui-bóng yi kóng, yi bô án-chóaⁿ. Chí-sī yi khai-sí kiaⁿ hiah-ê khióng-pò͘ ê pe̍h-sek bōng-pâi, hiah-ê Carrara tāi-lí-chio̍h ê kî-koài, thó-ià ê pe̍h-sek, ná chhiūⁿ ké-chhùi-khí hiah khó-phà, chhāi tī Tevershall kàu-tn̂g ē-bīn ê soaⁿ-lūn téng, chiah-ê yi ùi lîm-hn̂g tō ē khòaⁿ tio̍h, kám-kak chiok ut-chut, chiok thòng-khó͘. Hiah-ê chhāi tī soaⁿ-lūn téng ê bōng-pâi, ná pok chhut-lâi ê siâ-o̍͘k ké-chhùi-khí, hō͘ yi kám-siū tio̍h im-tîm-tîm ê khióng-pò͘. Yi kám-kak ka-tī kòe bô gōa kú, mā ē hông tâi tī hia, tī chit ê a-cha ê Midlands só͘-chāi, ka-ji̍p bōng-pâi ē-bīn ê kúi-á tīn.
Yi su-iàu pang-bâng, yi mā chai: só͘-í yi siá chi̍t tiuⁿ phe hō͘ in A-chí Hilda, sió-khóa thàu-lō͘ yi ê sim-siaⁿ. "Góa kīn-lâi bô siáⁿ hó, góa mā m̄-chai tàu-té sī án-chóaⁿ."
Hilda sûi tō kóaⁿ-kín ùi yi tòa ê Scotland lâi lah. Hit-sî sī saⁿ goe̍h, yi ka-tī chi̍t lâng, sái chi̍t chiah nn̄g-lâng-chō ê sè-chiah chhia lâi. Yi iân chhia-lō͘ peh-kiā khí-lâi, se̍h kòe chhù chêng pêⁿ-tē téng-bīn, ū nn̄g châng iá-seng tōa ke-jiû chhiū (beech-tree) ê hit tè tn̂g-ti-îⁿ chháu-po͘.
Connie chhut-lâi, kiâⁿ kàu mn̂g-kháu ê khàm-á hia. Hilda kā chhia sái óa, lo̍h chhia, lám sió-mōe koh kā chim.
"Connie ah!" yi hoah kóng. "Sī án-chóaⁿ lah?"
"Bô siáⁿ lah!" Connie kóng, bīn-sek kiàn-siàu; yi chai, taⁿ yi kap Hilda chha chin chē. Kòe-khì nn̄g chí-mōe ū kāng-khoán kim-sek, kng-ku̍t ê phôe-hu, jiû-nńg chang-sek ê thâu-mo͘, thian-jiân ióng-chòng, un-loán ê thé-keh. M̄-koh, taⁿ Connie siau-sán, bīn-sek chhám-tām, ùi saⁿ-niá chhun chhut ê ām-kún ta-sán, tài n̂g.
"Koai gín-á, lí lâng ū-tāi-chì!" Hilda iōng nn̄g chí-mōe sio-kāng ê jiû siáⁿ kóng. Hilda ke Connie tōa bô nn̄g hòe.
"Bô, góa bô pēⁿ. Khó-lêng sī in-ūi bô-liâu," Connie iōng kám-siong ê kháu-khì kóng.
Hilda ê bīn hián-chhut chiàn-tàu ê kng; sui-jiân yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi un-jiû, tiām-chēng, m̄-koh yi sī sio̍k kó͘-chá lú-chiàn-sū hit lūi ê cha-bó͘, kap cha-po͘ bē tàu-tah.
"Chit-chióng àu só͘-chāi!" yi ná khin-siaⁿ kóng, ná chheh-bīn khòaⁿ khó-liân, pāi-lo̍h ê lāu Wragby. Yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi un-jiû, un-loán, ná chhiūⁿ se̍k ê lâi-á, kî-si̍t yi sī chin-chiàⁿ kó͘-chá ê lú-chiàn-sū.
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7.3 袂記得肉體, 你 tō 會快活
"到拜六, 政府 tō tī 空氣 nih 放以太 (ether), 予周末充滿快樂!" Jack 講. "Ká-ná 袂䆀, m̄-koh 拜三咱欲按怎?"
"只要你袂記得你 ê 肉體, 你 tō 會快活," Bennerley Hj 講. "你若知覺著肉體 ê 存在, 你 tō 會感覺著痛苦. 所以講, 文明若有啥好處, 伊著幫咱袂記得咱 ê 肉體, 予咱通快樂過日, 毋免掛慮."
"幫咱 kā 肉體完全提掉," Winterslow 講. "咱人開始改進本性 ê 時間到 ah, 尤其是肉體方面."
"想看覓, 咱 ná 像薰 ê 煙 án-ne 飄," Connie 講.
"袂 án-ne lah," Duke 講. "咱 ê 舊戲齣得欲煞 ah; 咱 ê 文明得欲墜落 ah. 伊當 teh lak 落無底 ê 窟, 無底 ê 深坑. 相信我, 伐過深坑 ê 橋干焦是彼支 (phallus)!"
"Oh, 好 ah! 彼無可能, 將軍!" Olive 哀聲講.
"我相信咱 ê 文明得欲倒 ah," Eva 阿姑講.
"後壁來 ê 是啥?" Clifford 問.
"我 mā 毋知, 我想, 總是有物件會來." 老夫人講.
"Connie 講, 人 tō ná 薰 ê 煙, Olive 講無拖磨 ê 查某, 紅嬰仔 tī 罐仔底, iah Dukes 講彼支是行過未來 ê 橋. 我毋知到底彼會是啥物?" Clifford 講.
"Oh, 莫煩惱! 先講眼前 ê 代誌," Olive 講. "緊發明飼囝 ê 罐仔, 予查某較清閒 leh."
"後階段可能會有真正 ê 人," Tommy 講. "真正有智慧, 健全 ê 查埔, kap 健全, 可愛 ê 查某! 彼敢毋是大 ê 改變, kap 今 ê 咱有真大 ê 改變? 咱今, 查埔毋是查埔, 查某毋是查某. 咱只是半成品, 是機器 kap 智慧 ê 實驗品. 有可能會有一个真正查埔 kap 查某 ê 文明, 來替換咱 chiah-ê 干焦有 7 歲智慧 ê 小丑仔. 這定著比 ná 煙 ê 人抑是罐仔底 ê 紅嬰仔 koh 較好耍."
"Oh, 人若 teh 講真正 ê 查某, 我 tō 煞 ah," Olive 講.
"當然 ah, 干焦咱人 ê 精神值得寶惜," Winterslow 講.
"精神!" Jack ná 講 ná 啉伊 ê wiski soda.
"你按怎想? 我愛有肉體 ê koh 活!" Dukes 講.
"彼早慢應該會來, 等咱先 kā khōng ku-lí ê 頭殼, 錢錢, 等等小捒開 leh. 若 án-ne, 咱 tō 有接觸 ê demokrasi, 毋是 lak 袋仔 ê demokrasi."
Connie 心 nih án-ne teh 應: "予我接觸 ê demokrasi, 予我肉體 ê koh 活!" 她實在並毋知彼是啥意思, m̄-koh 這予她得著安慰, 雖然無意義, m̄-koh 有效.
總是, 逐項攏足譀古, 像 Clifford, Eva 阿姑, Olive kap Jack, 抑 Winterslow, 甚至 Duke, chiah-ê 攏予她感覺足無聊. 講, 講, 講! Chi-bú-sī-sū, 到底是 teh 講啥碗糕!
M̄-koh, 等逐个攏離開了, 代誌 mā 無變較好. 她繼續拖步過日, m̄-koh 猶是感覺規身 ê 齷齪 kap 刺鑿, 無法度走閃. 日子 ná 像 teh 拖磨, 有莫名 ê 痛苦, m̄-koh 啥都無發生. 只是她變消瘦; 連管家 mā 有注意著, 問她是按怎. 甚至 Tommy Dukes mā 堅持講她人有代誌, 雖罔她講, 她無按怎. 只是她開始驚 hiah-ê 恐怖 ê 白色墓牌, hiah-ê Carrara 大理石 ê 奇怪, 討厭 ê 白色, ná 像假喙齒 hiah 可怕, 祀 tī Tevershall 教堂下面 ê 山崙頂, chiah-ê 她 ùi 林園 tō 會看著, 感覺足鬱卒, 足痛苦. Hiah-ê 祀 tī 山崙頂 ê 墓牌, ná 暴出來 ê 邪惡假喙齒, 予她感受著陰沉沉 ê 恐怖. 她感覺家己過無偌久, mā 會 hông 埋 tī 遐, tī 這个 a-cha ê Midlands 所在, 加入墓牌下面 ê 鬼仔陣.
她需要幫忙, 她 mā 知: 所以她寫一張批予 in 阿姊 Hilda, 小可透露她 ê 心聲. "我近來無啥好, 我 mā 毋知到底是按怎."
Hilda 隨 tō 趕緊 ùi 她蹛 ê Scotland 來 lah. 彼時是三月, 她家己一人, 駛一隻兩人座 ê 細隻車來. 她沿車路 peh 崎起來, 踅過厝前平地頂面, 有兩叢野生大雞榆樹 (beech-tree) ê 彼塊長 ti 圓草埔.
Connie 出來, 行到門口 ê 坎仔遐. Hilda kā 車駛倚, 落車, 攬小妹 koh kā 唚.
"Connie ah!" 她喝講. "是按怎 lah?"
"無啥 lah!" Connie 講, 面色見笑; 她知, 今她 kap Hilda 差真濟. 過去兩姊妹有仝款金色, 光滑 ê 皮膚, 柔軟棕色 ê 頭毛, 天然勇壯, 溫暖 ê 體格. M̄-koh, 今 Connie 消瘦, 面色慘淡, ùi 衫領伸出 ê 頷頸焦瘦, 帶黃.
"乖囡仔, 你人有代誌!" Hilda 用兩姊妹相仝 ê 柔聲講. Hilda 加 Connie 大無兩歲.
"無, 我無病. 可能是因為無聊," Connie 用感傷 ê 口氣講.
Hilda ê 面顯出戰鬥 ê 光; 雖然她看起來溫柔, 恬靜, m̄-koh 她是屬古早女戰士彼類 ê 查某, kap 查埔袂鬥搭.
"這種漚所在!" 她 ná 輕聲講, ná 慼面看可憐, 敗落 ê 老 Wragby. 她看起來溫柔, 溫暖, ná 像熟 ê 梨仔, 其實她是真正古早 ê 女戰士.
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7.3
’The government releasing ether into the air on Saturdays, for a cheerful weekend!’ said Jack. ‘Sounds all right, but where should we be by Wednesday?’
’So long as you can forget your body you are happy,’ said Lady Bennerley. ‘And the moment you begin to be aware of your body, you are wretched. So, if civilization is any good, it has to help us to forget our bodies, and then time passes happily without our knowing it.’
’Help us to get rid of our bodies altogether,’ said Winterslow. ‘It’s quite time man began to improve on his own nature, especially the physical side of it.’
’Imagine if we floated like tobacco smoke,’ said Connie.
’It won’t happen,’ said Dukes. ‘Our old show will come flop; our civilization is going to fall. It’s going down the bottomless pit, down the chasm. And believe me, the only bridge across the chasm will be the phallus!’
’Oh do! DO be impossible, General!’ cried Olive.
’I believe our civilization is going to collapse,’ said Aunt Eva.
’And what will come after it?’ asked Clifford.
’I haven’t the faintest idea, but something, I suppose,’ said the elderly lady.
’Connie says people like wisps of smoke, and Olive says immunized women, and babies in bottles, and Dukes says the phallus is the bridge to what comes next. I wonder what it will really be?’ said Clifford.
’Oh, don’t bother! let’s get on with today,’ said Olive. ‘Only hurry up with the breeding bottle, and let us poor women off.’
’There might even be real men, in the next phase,’ said Tommy. ‘Real, intelligent, wholesome men, and wholesome nice women! Wouldn’t that be a change, an enormous change from us? WE’RE not men, and the women aren’t women. We’re only cerebrating make-shifts, mechanical and intellectual experiments. There may even come a civilization of genuine men and women, instead of our little lot of clever-jacks, all at the intelligence-age of seven. It would be even more amazing than men of smoke or babies in bottles.’
’Oh, when people begin to talk about real women, I give up,’ said Olive.
’Certainly nothing but the spirit in us is worth having,’ said Winterslow.
’Spirits!’ said Jack, drinking his whisky and soda.
’Think so? Give me the resurrection of the body!’ said Dukes.
’But it’ll come, in time, when we’ve shoved the cerebral stone away a bit, the money and the rest. Then we’ll get a democracy of touch, instead of a democracy of pocket.’
Something echoed inside Connie: ‘Give me the democracy of touch, the resurrection of the body!’ She didn’t at all know what it meant, but it comforted her, as meaningless things may do.
Anyhow everything was terribly silly, and she was exasperatedly bored by it all, by Clifford, by Aunt Eva, by Olive and Jack, and Winterslow, and even by Dukes. Talk, talk, talk! What hell it was, the continual rattle of it!
Then, when all the people went, it was no better. She continued plodding on, but exasperation and irritation had got hold of her lower body, she couldn’t escape. The days seemed to grind by, with curious painfulness, yet nothing happened. Only she was getting thinner; even the housekeeper noticed it, and asked her about herself. Even Tommy Dukes insisted she was not well, though she said she was all right. Only she began to be afraid of the ghastly white tombstones, that peculiar loathsome whiteness of Carrara marble, detestable as false teeth, which stuck up on the hillside, under Tevershall church, and which she saw with such grim painfulness from the park. The bristling of the hideous false teeth of tombstones on the hill affected her with a grisly kind of horror. She felt the time not far off when she would be buried there, added to the ghastly host under the tombstones and the monuments, in these filthy Midlands.
She needed help, and she knew it: so she wrote a little CRI DU COEUR to her sister, Hilda. ‘I’m not well lately, and I don’t know what’s the matter with me.’
Down posted Hilda from Scotland, where she had taken up her abode. She came in March, alone, driving herself in a nimble two-seater. Up the drive she came, tooting up the incline, then sweeping round the oval of grass, where the two great wild beech-trees stood, on the flat in front of the house.
Connie had run out to the steps. Hilda pulled up her car, got out, and kissed her sister.
’But Connie!’ she cried. ‘Whatever is the matter?’
’Nothing!’ said Connie, rather shamefacedly; but she knew how she had suffered in contrast to Hilda. Both sisters had the same rather golden, glowing skin, and soft brown hair, and naturally strong, warm physique. But now Connie was thin and earthy-looking, with a scraggy, yellowish neck, that stuck out of her jumper.
’But you’re ill, child!’ said Hilda, in the soft, rather breathless voice that both sisters had alike. Hilda was nearly, but not quite, two years older than Connie.
’No, not ill. Perhaps I’m bored,’ said Connie a little pathetically.
The light of battle glowed in Hilda’s face; she was a woman, soft and still as she seemed, of the old amazon sort, not made to fit with men.
’This wretched place!’ she said softly, looking at poor, old, lumbering Wragby with real hate. She looked soft and warm herself, as a ripe pear, and she was an amazon of the real old breed.
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