8.2 看守 tī 遐撼物件

8.2 Khàn-siú tī hia hám mi̍h-kiāⁿ

Keh-kang ē-po͘, yi koh khì chhiū-nâ. Yi tòe hit tiâu oan-oat peh-koân ê tōa-lō͘, kiâⁿ kòe lo̍h-hio̍h siông, lâi kàu chi̍t ê chhut-chôaⁿ ê ūi, kiò-chò John ê Chéⁿ. Chit pêng ê soaⁿ-phiâⁿ chin chheⁿ-léng, lo̍h-hio̍h siông nâ ōm kah chi̍t lúi hoe to bô. M̄-koh peng-liâng ê chôaⁿ-chúi ùi chéⁿ-té chheng-khì, hún-âng ê sè-lia̍p chio̍h-á phāng jiû-jiû phùn chhut. Chúi peng koh chheng! Bêng-liāng! Che tiāⁿ-tio̍h sī sin-lâi ê khàn-siú khǹg ê sè-lia̍p chio̍h-á. Yi thiaⁿ tio̍h ek chhut-lâi ê chúi lâu lo̍h soaⁿ khì, khin-khin ê chúi siaⁿ. Soaⁿ-phiâⁿ ba̍t-ba̍t khàm móa koân-tōa, bô hio̍h ê lo̍h-hio̍h siông ê hiong-ok o͘-iáⁿ, tī he si-si sō-sō ê siaⁿ téng, yi iáu sī thiaⁿ ē tio̍h ná chúi-lêng ê khin-khiang siaⁿ.

Chit-ê só͘-chāi koài-koài, léng koh sip. M̄-koh, chit ê chéⁿ tiāⁿ-tio̍h ū kúi-pah nî sī lâng lim-chúi ê só͘-chāi. Taⁿ m̄-sī ah. I sì-chiu khang-tē ê chháu ōng-ōng, chheⁿ-léng, koh chhe-liâng.

Yi khiāⁿ khí-lâi, bān-bān kiâⁿ hiòng chhù. Ná kiâⁿ ê sî, yi thiaⁿ tio̍h chiàⁿ-pêng ū tok-tok ê siaⁿ, yi thêng-leh kā thiaⁿ. He sī teh hám ê siaⁿ a̍h-sī tok-bo̍k chiáu? He khak-tēng sī teh hám ê siaⁿ.

Yi koh kiâⁿ, ná thiaⁿ. Yi chù-ì tio̍h tī sió sam-á chhiū tiong-kan ū chi̍t tiâu sió-lō͘, m̄-chai óng toh ê sió-lō͘. Yi kám-kak che lō͘ ū lâng kiâⁿ kòe. Yi kiâⁿ ji̍p-khì thàm-hiám, he ba̍t-ba̍t ê sió sam-á bô kú tō ōaⁿ chò sī lāu chhiūⁿ-bo̍k nâ (oak wood). Yi tòe sió-lō͘ kiâⁿ, tī hong-iô ê chhiū-nâ an-chēng tiong, thiaⁿ tio̍h he tok-tok ê siaⁿ lú lâi lú kīn ah, in-ūi hong ê siaⁿ khì hō͘ chhiū-á ah kē, piàn tiām-chēng ah.

Yí khòaⁿ tio̍h chi̍t ê sîn-pì ê sió khang-tē, hām chi̍t keng iōng chho͘-chhâ khí ê sîn-pì liâu-á. Chia yi í-chîⁿ m̄-bat lâi kòe! Yi bêng-pe̍k, chia sī teh chhī thī-ke ê tiām-chēng ê só͘-chāi; hit ê khàn-siú kan-ta chhēng siatchuh, kūi tī hia hám mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Káu té-té pūi chi̍t siaⁿ, chông kòe-lâi; khàn-siú hiông-hiông gia̍h-thâu khòaⁿ yi. I ê ba̍k-sek hián-chhut kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ.

I khiā khí-lâi kā yi kiâⁿ-lé, tiām-tiām khòaⁿ yi kha-chhiú lán-lán kiâⁿ kòe-lâi. I bô-ài lâng lâi kiáu-jiáu; i khòaⁿ-tāng ko͘-to̍k, che sī i seng-oa̍h tiong ûi-it, mā-sī siōng-bóe ê chū-iû.

"Góa siūⁿ kóng, he hám ê siaⁿ sī siáⁿ," yi kóng, kám-kak bô-la̍t koh chhoán, mā sió-khóa ē kiaⁿ, in-ūi i ti̍t-ti̍t kā khòaⁿ.

"Óa teh chò chiáu-káⁿ ê ke-lam," i kóng, he sī chāi-tē ê khiuⁿ-kháu.

Yi m̄-chai kóng siáⁿ hó, yi kám-kak chin bô-la̍t. "Góa siūⁿ boeh chē chi̍t-ē," yi kóng.

"Lâi liâu ni̍h chē chī-lè," i kóng, tī thâu-chêng seng ji̍p liâu-á khì, kā chhâ-ki khioh-khioh leh, thoa chhut chi̍t chiah chin-bo̍k-ki chò ê, àu-àu ê í-á.

"To̍h hiâⁿ chī-lê hé bô?" i kóng, iōng chāi-tē ōe ê koài-koài khiuⁿ-kháu.

"Oh, bián mâ-hoân," yi ìn.

M̄-koh, khòaⁿ tio̍h yi ê chhiú léng kah chheⁿ sún-sún, i tō kòaⁿ-kín the̍h kóa siong-ki, khǹg ji̍p chhù-kak ê sè-ê chng-á hóe-lô͘, chi̍t-ē-á, n̂g-n̂g ê hóe tō soan hiòng ian-tâng. I koh tī hóe-lô͘ piⁿ pâi chi̍t tè í-á.

"Chia chē lah, sió hang-hé chī-lē," i kóng.

Yi thiaⁿ i ê ōe. I ū hit-chióng pó-hō͘ ê khoân-ui, hō͘ yi koai-koai thiaⁿ-ōe. Chū án-ne, yi chē lo̍h, kā chhiú hang sio, mā khǹg chhâ-kho͘ thiⁿ-hóe, iah i iáu tī gōa-kháu hám mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Yi pēng m̄-sī chèng-keng ài chē tī kak-lo̍h ê hóe-lô͘ piⁿ; yi lêng-khó khì mn̂g hia khòaⁿ chhut-khì, m̄-koh i án-ne kā khòaⁿ-kò͘, yi chí-hó koai-koai.

Liâu ni̍h put-chí-á sù-sī, piah-bīn bô chhat, yi ê í-á piⁿ ū chi̍t tè kū toh-á kap í-thâu-á, chi̍t ê ba̍k-chhiūⁿ í-tiâu, chham chi̍t ê tōa siuⁿ-á, chi̍t-kóa ke-si, sin chhâ-pang kap teng-á; phiah-téng tiàu chē-chē mi̍h-kiāⁿ: tn̂g kap té ê pó͘-thâu, tng-á, tē-á té ē mi̍h-kiāⁿ, i ê gōa-thò. Chia bô thang-á, kng-sòaⁿ ùi mn̂g ji̍p-lâi. Chia ná chhiūⁿ chàn-keng, m̄-koh mā ná sī sió-sió ê pī-lān-só͘.

Yi thiaⁿ hit lâng hám ê siaⁿ; he m̄-sī hoaⁿ-hí ê siaⁿ. I ū ut-chut. Chia ū lâng ta̍h-ji̍p i ê su tē, che ū hûi-hiám! Sī chi̍t ê cha-bó͘! I í-keng lâi-kàu kan-ta siūⁿ boeh ko͘-to̍k chi̍t lâng ê thêng-tō͘. M̄-koh i bô hoat-tō͘ pó-chhî ko͘-to̍k; i put-kò sī chi̍t ê sin-lô, chiah-ê lâng sī in thâu-ke.

Te̍k-pia̍t sī, i bô-ài koh kap cha-bó͘ kau-pôe. I kiaⁿ he, in-ūi kòe-khì ê kau-pôe hō͘ i chin siū-siong. I kám-kak, i nā bô hoat-tō͘ ko͘-to̍k, a̍h-sī lâng m̄ hō͘ i ko͘-to̍k, i tō ē sé. I í-keng oân-choân kiu lī-khui gōa-kháu ê sè-kài; chit ê chhiū-nâ sī i chòe-āu ê pī-lān-só͘; i kā ka-tī chàng tī chia!

Hóe kā Connie hang sio ah, yi kā hóe hiâⁿ kah chin mé: soah kám-kak ē joa̍h. Yi kiâⁿ khì chē tī mn̂g-piⁿ ê í-thâu-á, khòaⁿ hit lâng kang-chok. I ká-ná bô chù-ì tio̍h yi, sū-si̍t i chai. I kè-sio̍k kang-chok, ká-ná chin choan-sim, i hit chiah chang-sek ê káu, bóe iap-āu, chē tī i piⁿ-á, chim-chiok tio̍h che bô ún-tàng ê sè-kài.

Sán-thiu, tiām-chēng koh kín-sok, hit lâng chò hó ke-lam, kā péng--kòe, mn̂g thoah khòaⁿ-māi, koh kā khńg piⁿ-á khì. Koh-lâi, i khiāⁿ khí-lâi, khì the̍h chi̍t ê kū ke-lam lâi i kang-chok ê chhâ tiam hia. Khû tio̍h, i chhì hiah-ê chhâ-ki, ū-ê chhiú chi̍t ló͘ tō tn̄g khì; i sûi kā teng-á giú khí-lâi. Koh-lâi i ná se̍h he ke-lam, ná teh siūⁿ, ká-ná oân-choân m̄-chai hiān-tiûⁿ.ū chi̍t ê cha-bó͘ tī hia.

Connie khòaⁿ kah sĭn-sîn. Yi bat khòaⁿ kòe ê, hit-kang thǹg-pak-theh ê hit-chióng ko͘-to̍k, taⁿ i sui-jiân ū chhēng-saⁿ, yi mā iáu-āi khòaⁿ ē chhut: ko͘-to̍k koh choan-sim, ná-chhiūⁿ ko͘-to̍k kang-chok ê tōng-bu̍t, m̄-koh mā ná teh su-khó, ná-chhiūⁿ lī jîn-kan hn̄g-hn̄g, tò-thè-kiu ê lêng-hûn. Tiām-chēng, nāi-sèng, sīm-chì taⁿ, i mā iáu teh siám-phiah yi. Chi̍t ê kip-sèng koh jia̍t-chêng ê cha-po͘, ū chit-chióng tiām-chēng kap bô-hān ê nāi-sim, kám-tōng tio̍h Connie ê chú-kiong. Yi khòaⁿ ē-chhut, tī i àⁿ-lo̍h ê thâu, kín koh tiām ê siang-chhiú, sok-kiat, bín-kám ê ē-io, ū bó͘-chióng nāi-sim koh ah-lo̍h ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Yi kám-kak i ê seng-oa̍h keng-giām pí yi ê khah chhim, khah khoah, hoān-sè mā khah kan-lân. Án-ne hō͘ yi ē-tàng pàng-sang ka-tī ê sin-hūn, mā kám-kak chha-put-to m̄-bian ū siáⁿ chek-jīm.

--

8.2 看守 tī 遐撼物件

隔工下晡, 她 koh 去樹林. 她綴彼條彎斡 peh 懸 ê 大路, 行過落葉松, 來到一个出泉 ê 位, 叫做 John ê 井. 這爿 ê 山坪真青冷, 落葉松林 ōm kah 一蕊花都無. M̄-koh 冰涼 ê 泉水 ùi 井底清氣, 粉紅 ê 細粒石仔縫柔柔噴出. 水冰 koh 清! 明亮! 這定著是新來 ê 看守囥 ê 細粒石仔. 她聽著溢出來 ê 水流落山去, 輕輕 ê 水聲. 山坪密密崁滿懸大, 無葉 ê 落葉松 ê 兇惡烏影, tī 彼 si-si sō-sō ê 聲頂, 她猶是聽會著 ná 水鈴 ê khin-khiang 聲.

這个所在怪怪, 冷 koh 溼. M̄-koh, 這个井定著有幾百年是人啉水 ê 所在. 今毋是 ah. 伊四周空地 ê 草旺旺, 青冷, koh 淒涼.

她徛起來, 慢慢行向厝. Ná 行 ê 時, 她聽著正爿有 tok-tok ê 聲, 她停 leh kā 聽. 彼是 teh 撼 ê 聲抑是啄木鳥? 彼確定是 teh 撼 ê 聲.

她 koh 行, ná 聽. 她注意著 tī 小杉仔樹中間有一條小路, 毋知往佗 ê 小路. 她感覺這路有人行過. 她行入去探險, 彼密密 ê 小杉仔無久 tō 換做是老橡木林 (oak wood). 她綴小路行, tī 風搖 ê 樹林安靜中, 聽著彼 tok-tok ê 聲 lú 來 lú 近 ah, 因為風 ê 聲去予樹仔壓低, 變恬靜 ah.

她看著一个神秘 ê 小空地, 和一間用粗柴起 ê 神秘寮仔. 遮她以前 m̄-bat 來過! 她明白, 遮是 teh 飼雉雞 ê 恬靜 ê 所在; 彼个看守干焦穿 siatchuh, 跪 tī 遐撼物件. 狗短短吠一聲, chông 過來; 看守雄雄攑頭看她. 伊 ê 目色顯出驚惶.

伊徛起來 kā 她行禮, 恬恬看她跤手懶懶行過來. 伊無愛人來攪擾; 伊看重孤獨, 這是伊生活中唯一, mā 是上尾 ê 自由.

"我想講, 彼撼 ê 聲是啥," 她講, 感覺無力 koh 喘, mā 小可會驚, 因為伊直直 kā 看.

"Óa teh 做鳥 káⁿ ê 雞 lam," 伊講, 彼是在地 ê 腔口.

她毋知講啥好, 她感覺真無力. "我想欲坐一下," 她講.

"來寮 ni̍h 坐一下," 伊講, tī 頭前先入寮仔去, kā 柴枝抾抾 leh, 拖出一隻榛木枝做 ê, 漚漚 ê 椅仔.

"To̍h 燃 chī-lê hé 無?" 伊講, 用在地話 ê 怪怪腔口.

"Oh, 免麻煩," 她應.

M̄-koh, 看著她 ê 手冷 kah 青恂恂, 伊 tō 趕緊提寡松枝, 囥入厝角 ê 細个磚仔火爐, 一下仔, 黃黃 ê 火 tō soan 向煙筒. 伊 koh tī 火爐邊排一塊椅仔.

"遮坐 lah, 小烘 hé chī-lē," 伊講.

她聽伊 ê 話. 伊有彼種保護 ê 權威, 予她乖乖聽話. 自 án-ne, 她坐落, kā 手烘燒, mā 囥柴箍填火, iah 伊猶 tī 外口撼物件. 她並不是正經愛坐 tī 角落 ê 火爐邊; 她寧可去門遐看出去, m̄-koh 伊 án-ne kā 看顧, 她只好乖乖.

寮 ni̍h 不止仔四序, 壁面無漆, 她 ê 椅仔邊有一塊舊桌仔 kap 椅頭仔, 一个木匠椅條, 參一个大箱仔, 一寡家私, 新柴枋 kap 釘仔; 壁頂吊濟濟物件: 長 kap 短 ê 斧頭, tng-á, 袋仔貯 ê 物件, 伊 ê 外套. 遮無窗仔, 光線 ùi 門入來. 遮 ná 像棧間, m̄-koh mā ná 是小小 ê 避難所.

她聽彼人撼 ê 聲, 彼毋是歡喜 ê 聲. 伊有鬱卒. 遮有人踏入伊 ê 私地, 這有危險! 是一个查某! 伊已經來到干焦想欲孤獨一人 ê 程度. M̄-koh 伊無法度保持孤獨; 伊不過是一个辛勞, chiah-ê 人是 in 頭家.

特別是, 伊無愛 koh kap 查某交陪. 伊驚彼, 因為過去 ê 交陪予伊真受傷. 伊感覺, 伊若無法度孤獨, 抑是人毋予伊孤獨, 伊 tō 會死. 伊已經完全勼離開外口 ê 世界; 這个樹林是伊最後 ê 避難所, 伊 kā 家己藏 tī 遮!

火 kā Connie 烘燒 ah, 她 kā 火燃 kah 真 mé: 煞感覺會熱. 她行去坐 tī 門邊 ê 椅頭仔, 看彼人工作. 伊 ká-ná 無注意著她, 事實伊知. 伊繼續工作, ká-ná 真專心, 伊彼隻棕色 ê 狗, 尾 iap 後, 坐 tī 伊邊仔, 斟酌著這無穩當 ê 世界.

瘦抽, 恬靜 koh 緊速, 彼人做好雞 lam, kā péng 過, 門屜看覓, koh kā 囥邊仔. Koh 來, 伊徛起來, 去提一个舊雞 lam 來伊工作 ê 柴砧遐. Khû 著, 伊試 hiah-ê 柴枝, 有 ê 手一 ló͘ tō 斷去; 伊隨 kā 釘仔搝起來. Koh 來伊 ná 踅彼雞 lam, ná teh 想, ká-ná 完全毋知現場有一个查某 tī 遐.

Connie 看 kah sĭn 神. 她 bat 看過 ê, 彼人褪腹裼 ê 彼種孤獨, 今伊雖然有穿衫, 她 mā 猶是看會出: 孤獨 koh 專心, ná 像孤獨工作 ê 動物, m̄-koh mā ná teh 思考, ná 像離人間遠遠, 倒退勼 ê 靈魂. 恬靜, 耐性, 甚至今, 伊 mā 猶 teh 閃避她. 這个急性 koh 熱情 ê 查埔, 有一種恬靜 kap 無限 ê 耐心, 感動著 Connie ê 子宮. 她看會出, tī 伊 àⁿ 落 ê 頭, 緊 koh 恬 ê 雙手, 束結, 敏感 ê 下腰, 有某種耐心 koh 壓落 ê 物件. 她感覺伊 ê 生活經驗比她 ê 較深, 較濶, 凡勢 mā 較艱難. Án-ne 予她 ē-tàng 放鬆家己 ê 身份, mā 感覺差不多毋免有啥責任.

--

8.2

The next afternoon she went to the wood again. She followed the broad riding that swerved round and up through the larches to a spring called John’s Well. It was cold on this hillside, and not a flower in the darkness of larches. But the icy little spring softly pressed upwards from its tiny wellbed of pure, reddish-white pebbles. How icy and clear it was! Brilliant! The new keeper had no doubt put in fresh pebbles. She heard the faint tinkle of water, as the tiny overflow trickled over and downhill. Even above the hissing boom of the larchwood, that spread its bristling, leafless, wolfish darkness on the down-slope, she heard the tinkle as of tiny water-bells.

This place was a little sinister, cold, damp. Yet the well must have been a drinking-place for hundreds of years. Now no more. Its tiny cleared space was lush and cold and dismal.

She rose and went slowly towards home. As she went she heard a faint tapping away on the right, and stood still to listen. Was it hammering, or a woodpecker? It was surely hammering.

She walked on, listening. And then she noticed a narrow track between young fir-trees, a track that seemed to lead nowhere. But she felt it had been used. She turned down it adventurously, between the thick young firs, which gave way soon to the old oak wood. She followed the track, and the hammering grew nearer, in the silence of the windy wood, for trees make a silence even in their noise of wind.

She saw a secret little clearing, and a secret little hot made of rustic poles. And she had never been here before! She realized it was the quiet place where the growing pheasants were reared; the keeper in his shirt-sleeves was kneeling, hammering. The dog trotted forward with a short, sharp bark, and the keeper lifted his face suddenly and saw her. He had a startled look in his eyes.

He straightened himself and saluted, watching her in silence, as she came forward with weakening limbs. He resented the intrusion; he cherished his solitude as his only and last freedom in life.

’I wondered what the hammering was,’ she said, feeling weak and breathless, and a little afraid of him, as he looked so straight at her.

’Ah’m gettin’ th’ coops ready for th’ young bods,’ he said, in broad vernacular.

She did not know what to say, and she felt weak. ‘I should like to sit down a bit,’ she said.

’Come and sit ‘ere i’ th’ ‘ut,’ he said, going in front of her to the hut, pushing aside some timber and stuff, and drawing out a rustic chair, made of hazel sticks.

’Am Ah t’ light yer a little fire?’ he asked, with the curious naivete of the dialect.


’Oh, don’t bother,’ she replied.

But he looked at her hands; they were rather blue. So he quickly took some larch twigs to the little brick fire-place in the corner, and in a moment the yellow flame was running up the chimney. He made a place by the brick hearth.

’Sit ‘ere then a bit, and warm yer,’ he said.


She obeyed him. He had that curious kind of protective authority she obeyed at once. So she sat and warmed her hands at the blaze, and dropped logs on the fire, whilst outside he was hammering again. She did not really want to sit, poked in a corner by the fire; she would rather have watched from the door, but she was being looked after, so she had to submit.

The hut was quite cosy, panelled with unvarnished deal, having a little rustic table and stool beside her chair, and a carpenter’s bench, then a big box, tools, new boards, nails; and many things hung from pegs: axe, hatchet, traps, things in sacks, his coat. It had no window, the light came in through the open door. It was a jumble, but also it was a sort of little sanctuary.

She listened to the tapping of the man’s hammer; it was not so happy. He was oppressed. Here was a trespass on his privacy, and a dangerous one! A woman! He had reached the point where all he wanted on earth was to be alone. And yet he was powerless to preserve his privacy; he was a hired man, and these people were his masters.

Especially he did not want to come into contact with a woman again. He feared it; for he had a big wound from old contacts. He felt if he could not be alone, and if he could not be left alone, he would die. His recoil away from the outer world was complete; his last refuge was this wood; to hide himself there!

Connie grew warm by the fire, which she had made too big: then she grew hot. She went and sat on the stool in the doorway, watching the man at work. He seemed not to notice her, but he knew. Yet he worked on, as if absorbedly, and his brown dog sat on her tail near him, and surveyed the untrustworthy world.

Slender, quiet and quick, the man finished the coop he was making, turned it over, tried the sliding door, then set it aside. Then he rose, went for an old coop, and took it to the chopping log where he was working. Crouching, he tried the bars; some broke in his hands; he began to draw the nails. Then he turned the coop over and deliberated, and he gave absolutely no sign of awareness of the woman’s presence.

So Connie watched him fixedly. And the same solitary aloneness she had seen in him naked, she now saw in him clothed: solitary, and intent, like an animal that works alone, but also brooding, like a soul that recoils away, away from all human contact. Silently, patiently, he was recoiling away from her even now. It was the stillness, and the timeless sort of patience, in a man impatient and passionate, that touched Connie’s womb. She saw it in his bent head, the quick quiet hands, the crouching of his slender, sensitive loins; something patient and withdrawn. She felt his experience had been deeper and wider than her own; much deeper and wider, and perhaps more deadly. And this relieved her of herself; she felt almost irresponsible.

--

8.1 日光陣陣照落樹林

Tē 8 Chiong

8.1 Ji̍t-kng chūn-chūn chiò lo̍h chhiū-nâ

Bolton Tt mā iōng thiàⁿ-sioh ê ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ Connie, kám-kak yi tio̍h kā ka-tī lú-sèng kap choan-gia̍p ê khóaⁿ-kò͘ iân-tn̂g kàu lú chú-lâng hia. Yi chóng-sī kin Hu-jîn tio̍h chhut-mn̂g sàn-pō͘, chē chhia khì Uthwaite, khì suh sin-sian ê khong-khì. In-ūi Connie í-keng koàn-sì chē tī hóe piⁿ, ké-sian teh tha̍k-chheh, a̍h-sī teh chò chiam-sòaⁿ, kin-pún hán-tit chhut-mn̂g.

Hilda lī-khui bô kú, chi̍t ê thàu-hong thiⁿ, Bolton Tt kóng: "Lí ná m̄ kiâⁿ kòe chhiū-nâ, khì khòaⁿ khàn-siú chhun-sià āu-phiah ê chúi-soàn? He sī ji̍t-sî sàn-pō͘ khòaⁿ ē tio̍h siōng súi ê kéng-tì. Lí mā ē-sái bán chi̍t kóa khǹg tī pâng-keng; iá-seng ê chúi-soàn khòaⁿ tio̍h chóng-sī chin sóng-sîn, kám m̄-sī?"

Connie chai yi kóng siáⁿ, yi kā chúi-sian kiò chò chúi-soàn. Iá-seng ê chúi-sian! Chóng--sī, lán m̄-thang ka-tī pa̍k ka-tī. Chhun-thiⁿ lâi lah... "Sú-kùi khì koh hôe, m̄-koh góa ê ji̍t-chí, a̍h-sī tiⁿ-bi̍t ê hông-hun a̍h chá-khí, lóng chi̍t khì bô hôe."

Khàn-siú, i he sán-sán, pe̍h-pe̍h ê sin-khu, ná bô-hêng hoe-lúi ê hoe-sim! In-ūi tōa-tōa ê ah-ut, yi soah kā i bē-kì-tit. Taⁿ chhéⁿ-lâi ah... "Phú-phú tī mn̂g kap mn̂g-kháu hia"... su-iàu chò ê chí-sī kiâⁿ kòe mn̂g, kiâⁿ-kòe mn̂g-kháu.

Yi ū khah ióng ah, yi mā ū khah gâu kiâⁿ ah, tī chhiū-nâ ni̍h, hong mā khah bô chhiūⁿ tī kiâⁿ kòe hn̂g ni̍h án-ne sàu kah hō͘ lâng ē thiám. Yi boeh bē-kì, bē-kì chit ê sè-kài, kap só͘-ū khó-phà ê ū-thé-bô-hûn ê lâng. "Lí tio̍h koh chhut-sì! Góa siong-sìn bah-thé ē koh-oa̍h! Be̍h-á ê chéng-chí lak tī thô͘ ni̍h nā bô sí, i tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē hoat-gê. Tī hoan-âng-hoe (crocus) seⁿ-chhut ê sî, góa mā boeh chhut-lâi khòaⁿ ji̍t!" Tī saⁿ goe̍h ê hong ni̍h, yi ê sim-ni̍h siám-kòe put-chīn ê si-kú.

Ji̍t-kng chūn-chūn chiò lo̍h, te̍k-pia̍t kng-liāng, chiò tio̍h seⁿ tī chhiū-nâ piⁿ-á, chin-bo̍k ki kha ê mo͘-kún tiàu-ōaⁿ-hoe (毛茛, celandine), hō͘ in siám-sih n̂g-sek ê kong-hui. Chhiū-nâ chin chēng, kan-ta ū chhng ji̍p-lâi ê chūn-chūn ji̍t-kng. Chá-chhut ê gîn-liân-hoe (windflower) í-keng khui ah, tē-bīn siám-sih tio̍h put-chīn pe̍h-sek ê hoe, kui-ê chhiū-nâ khòaⁿ tio̍h pe̍h chhang-chhang. "Sûi tio̍h lí ê chhoán-khùi, sè-kài piàn kah pe̍h chhang-chhang." M̄-koh chit-pái sī Persephone ê chhoán-khùi; yi tī chheⁿ-léng ê chá-khí cháu-chhut tē-ga̍k. Léng hong ê khùi lâi ah, tī thâu-téng tîⁿ tio̍h chhiū-ki ê hong teh siū-khì. Ná-chhiūⁿ Absalom, hong mā tîⁿ tī hia, siūⁿ boeh tháu-khui. Gîn-liân-hoe ká-ná kôaⁿ kah, in thǹg-kng ê pe̍h-sek keng-thâu tī chheⁿ-sek ûi-kûn téng iô tāng. M̄-koh, in jím tiâu tio̍h. Tī sió-lō͘ piⁿ, mā ū chi̍t kóa phú-pe̍h ê sakura chháu (primrose) kap n̂g-sek ê hoe-m̂ tng teh khui.

Thâu-téng hong háu, chhiū-ki iô, ē-bīn kan-ta sī léng-léng ê khì-liû. Tī chhiū-nâ ni̍h, Connie te̍k-pia̍t thiòng, chhùi-phé tńg âng, ba̍k-chiu lú nâ. Yi kha-pō͘ bān-bān, bán kóa sakura chháu ê hoe kap chi̍t kóa chá-khui ê chí-lô-lân, hoe bī phang koh liâng. Yi kan-ta sûi-ì hiòng-chêng, pēng m̄-chai taⁿ sī tī toh.

Tán yi lâu kàu chhiū-nâ bóe ê khàng-tē, khòaⁿ tio̍h chhiūⁿ chheⁿ-thî ê chio̍h-thâu chhun-sià, chio̍h-thâu hō͘ ji̍t-thâu ka-un kah piàn hún-âng, khòaⁿ khí-lâi ná chhiūⁿ sin hoat hiuⁿ-kó͘ ē-chat ê sek. He koaiⁿ-tio̍h ê mn̂g piⁿ-á siám-sih tio̍h n̂g-sek ê ba̍k-nī-hoe (茉莉花, jasmine). Sì-kè tiām chiuh-chiuh; ian-tâng bô ian; bô káu teh pūi.

Yi chēng-chēng se̍h kàu āu-bīn, tī hia tē-sè giâ koân; yi khì hia ê chioh-kháu sī boeh khòaⁿ chúi-sian.

Hia ū chúi-sian, hoe-pèⁿ té-té, hoat kah e-e kheh-kheh, hoe-ki iô lâi iô khì, hoe-lúi kng-liāng, chhiⁿ-chhioh, hō͘ hong chhoe kah m̄-chai boeh kā bīn bih tī tó-ui.

In chi̍t chūn-chūn bô-nāi iô-tāng he kng-liāng, chiò-ji̍t ê hoe-pān. M̄-koh, hoān-sè in mā kah-ì che; hoān-sè in kah-ì án-ne iô lâi iô khì.

Connie khò tio̍h chi̍t châng siong-á chhiū chē lo̍h-lâi. Hit châng yi thèⁿ tio̍h ê siong-chhiūⁿ ū chi̍t chióng kî-miāu ê sèⁿ-miā, sìm-sìm, ū-la̍t, hiòng koân. Chit ê thêng koh oa̍h ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ thâu-téng ū ji̍t!

Ji̍t-thâu chiò lo̍h, sio-ho tio̍h yi ê chhiú kap kha, yi khòaⁿ he chúi-sian piàn kim-n̂g. Yi sīm-chì phīⁿ tio̍h he hoe khin-khin ê tamaka khì-bī. Hit-sî, in-ūi chin tiām-chēng koh ko͘-to̍k, yi kám-kak ná chhiūⁿ chìn-ji̍p ka-tī ūn-miâ ê chhoan-lâu. Kòe-khì yi ná chhiūⁿ sió-chûn, hō͘ soh-á pa̍k tī hōaⁿ-thâu iô-tāng, tîm-phû; taⁿ yi bô sok-pa̍k ah, ē-tit phiau-liû.

Ji̍t-thâu kiu khì, thiⁿ hoán liâng; chúi-sian lê-thâu tiām-tiām tiàm hûn-iáⁿ ni̍h. In tio̍h thâu-lê-lê kui-kang kàu àm-mê. Lám-sin mā tio̍h ài kian-kiông!

Yi khiā khí-lâi, io ngē-ngē, bán kúi lúi chúi-sian liáu tio̍h kiâⁿ-khui. Yi pún bô-ài at-hoe, m̄-koh kan-ta siūⁿ boeh chah chi̍t-nn̄g lúi. Taⁿ tio̍h tńg Wragby, ji̍p hit chō chhiûⁿ, yi chiâⁿ chheh he, chheh hiah-ê chhiûⁿ. Chhiûⁿ ah! Ná ē ū hiah-ê chhiûⁿ! M̄-koh, lán mā su-iàu ū chhiûⁿ chiah ē-tàng thang bih hong.

Yi tńg kàu chhù ê sî, Clifford mn̄g yi:

"Lí khì toh?"

"Kiâⁿ kòe chhiū-nâ! Lí khòaⁿ, che chúi-sian ū súi bô? Siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, in sī ùi thô͘ ni̍h hoat chhut-lâi ê!"

"Ná ùi khong-khì kap ji̍t-kng chhut-lâi ê," i kong.

"M̄-koh in sī seⁿ-sêng tī thô͘ ni̍h ê," yi hoán-pok, ka-tī mā tio̍h-kiaⁿ ná ē hoán-èng hiah-nī kín.

--

第 8 章

8.1 日光陣陣照落樹林

Bolton Tt mā 用疼惜 ê 目睭看 Connie, 感覺她著 kā 自己女性 kap 專業 ê 看顧延長到女主人遐. 她總是跟夫人著出門散步, 坐車去 Uthwaite, 去欶新鮮 ê 空氣. 因為 Connie 已經慣勢坐 tī 火邊, 假仙 teh 讀冊, 抑是 teh 做針線, 根本罕得出門.

Hilda 離開無久, 一个透風天, Bolton Tt 講: "你那毋行過樹林, 去看看守村舍後壁 ê 水蒜? 彼是日時散步看會著上媠 ê 景致. 你 mā 會使挽一寡囥 tī 房間; 野生 ê 水蒜看著總是真爽神, 敢毋是?"

Connie 知她講啥, 她 kā 水仙叫做水蒜. 野生 ê 水仙! 總是, 咱毋通家己縛家己. 春天來 lah... "四季去 koh 回, m̄-koh 我 ê 日子, 抑是甜蜜 ê 黃昏抑早起, 攏一去無回."

看守, 伊彼瘦瘦, 白白 ê 身軀, ná 無形花蕊 ê 花心! 因為大大 ê 壓鬱, 她煞 kā 伊袂記得. 今醒來 ah... "殕殕 tī 門 kap 門口遐"... 需要做 ê 只是行過門, 行過門口.

她有較勇 ah, 她 mā 有較 gâu 行 ah, tī 樹林 ni̍h, 風 mā 較無像 tī 行過園 ni̍h án-ne 掃 kah 予人會忝. 她欲袂記, 袂記這个世界, kap 所有可怕 ê 有體無魂 ê 人. "你著 koh 出世! 我相信肉體會 koh 活! 麥仔 ê 種子 lak tī 土 ni̍h 若無死, 伊定著會發芽. Tī 番紅花 (crocus) 生出 ê 時, 我 mā 欲出來看日!" Tī 三月 ê 風 ni̍h, 她 ê 心 ni̍h 閃過不盡 ê 詩句.

日光陣陣照落, 特別光亮, 照著生 tī 樹林邊仔, 榛木枝跤 ê mo͘-kún (毛茛, celandine) 花, 予 in 閃爍黃色 ê 光輝. 樹林真靜, 干焦有穿入來 ê 陣陣日光. 早出 ê 銀蓮花 (windflower) 已經開 ah, 地面閃爍著不盡白色 ê 花, 規个樹林看著白蔥蔥. "隨著你 ê 喘氣, 世界變 kah 白蔥蔥." M̄-koh 這擺是 Persephone ê 喘氣; 她 tī 青冷 ê 早起走出地獄. 冷風 ê 氣來 ah, tī 頭頂纏著樹枝風 teh 受氣. Ná 像 Absalom, 風 mā 纏 tī 遐, 想欲敨開. 銀蓮花 ká-ná 寒 kah, in 褪光 ê 白色肩頭 tī 青色圍裙頂搖動. M̄-koh, in 忍牢著. Tī 小路邊, mā 有一寡殕白 ê sakura 草 (primrose) kap 黃色 ê 花莓當 teh 開.

頭頂風吼, 樹枝搖, 下面干焦是冷冷 ê 氣流. Tī 樹林 ni̍h, Connie 特別暢, 喙䫌轉紅, 目睭 lú 藍. 她跤步慢慢, 挽寡 sakura 草 ê 花 kap 一寡早開 ê 紫羅蘭, 花味芳 koh 涼. 她干焦隨意向前, 並毋知今是 tī 佗.

等她來到樹林尾 ê 空地, 看著 chhiūⁿ 青苔 ê 石頭村舍, 石頭予日頭加溫 kah 變粉紅, 看起來 ná 像新發香菇下節 ê 色. 彼關著 ê 門邊仔閃爍著黃色 ê ba̍k-nī-hoe (茉莉花, jasmine). 世界恬 chiuh-chiuh; 煙筒無煙; 無狗 teh 吠.

她靜靜踅到後壁, tī 遐地勢夯懸; 她去遐 ê 借口是欲看水仙.

遐有水仙, 花柄短短, 發 kah e-e kheh-kheh, 花枝搖來搖去, 花蕊光亮, 鮮沢, 予風吹 kah 毋知欲 kā 面覕 tī 佗位.

In 一陣陣無奈搖動彼光亮, 照日 ê 花瓣. M̄-koh, 凡勢 in mā 佮意這; 凡勢 in 佮意 án-ne 搖來搖去.

Connie 靠著一叢松仔樹坐落來. 彼叢她牚著 ê 松樹有一種奇妙 ê 性命, sìm-sìm, 有力, 向懸. 這个 thêng koh 活 ê 物件頭頂有日!

日頭照落, 燒熇著她 ê 手 kap 跤, 她看彼水仙變金黃. 她甚至鼻著彼花輕輕 ê tamaka 氣味. 彼時, 因為真恬靜 koh 孤獨, 她感覺 ná 像進入家己運命 ê 川流. 過去她 ná 像小船, 予索仔縛 tī 岸頭搖動, 沉浮; 今她無束縛 ah, 會得漂流.

日頭勼去, 天反涼; 水仙 lê 頭恬恬踮雲影 ni̍h. In 著頭犁犁規工到暗暝. 荏身 mā 著愛堅強!

她徛起來, 腰硬硬, 挽幾蕊水仙了著行開. 她本無愛遏花, m̄-koh 干焦想欲扎一兩蕊. 今著轉 Wragby, 入彼座厝, 她誠慼彼, 慼 hiah-ê 牆. 牆 ah! 那會有 hiah-ê 牆! M̄-koh, 咱 mā 需要有牆才 ē-tang 通覕風.

她轉到厝 ê 時, Clifford 問她:

"你去佗?"

"行過樹林! 你看, 這水仙有媠無? 想看覓, in 是 ùi 塗 ni̍h 發出來 ê!"

"Ná ùi 空氣 kap 日光出來 ê," 伊講.

"M̄-koh in 是生成 tī 塗 ni̍h ê," 她反駁, 家己 mā 著驁那會反應 hiah-nī 緊.

--

Chapter 8

8.1

Mrs Bolton also kept a cherishing eye on Connie, feeling she must extend to her her female and professional protection. She was always urging her ladyship to walk out, to drive to Uthwaite, to be in the air. For Connie had got into the habit of sitting still by the fire, pretending to read; or to sew feebly, and hardly going out at all.

It was a blowy day soon after Hilda had gone, that Mrs Bolton said: ‘Now why don’t you go for a walk through the wood, and look at the daffs behind the keeper’s cottage? They’re the prettiest sight you’d see in a day’s march. And you could put some in your room; wild daffs are always so cheerful-looking, aren’t they?’

Connie took it in good part, even daffs for daffodils. Wild daffodils! After all, one could not stew in one’s own juice. The spring came back...’Seasons return, but not to me returns Day, or the sweet approach of Ev’n or Morn.’

And the keeper, his thin, white body, like a lonely pistil of an invisible flower! She had forgotten him in her unspeakable depression. But now something roused...’Pale beyond porch and portal’...the thing to do was to pass the porches and the portals.

She was stronger, she could walk better, and in the wood the wind would not be so tiring as it was across the park, flattening against her. She wanted to forget, to forget the world, and all the dreadful, carrion-bodied people. ‘Ye must be born again! I believe in the resurrection of the body! Except a grain of wheat fall into the earth and die, it shall by no means bring forth. When the crocus cometh forth I too will emerge and see the sun!’ In the wind of March endless phrases swept through her consciousness.

Little gusts of sunshine blew, strangely bright, and lit up the celandines at the wood’s edge, under the hazel-rods, they spangled out bright and yellow. And the wood was still, stiller, but yet gusty with crossing sun. The first windflowers were out, and all the wood seemed pale with the pallor of endless little anemones, sprinkling the shaken floor. ‘The world has grown pale with thy breath.’ But it was the breath of Persephone, this time; she was out of hell on a cold morning. Cold breaths of wind came, and overhead there was an anger of entangled wind caught among the twigs. It, too, was caught and trying to tear itself free, the wind, like Absalom. How cold the anemones looked, bobbing their naked white shoulders over crinoline skirts of green. But they stood it. A few first bleached little primroses too, by the path, and yellow buds unfolding themselves.

The roaring and swaying was overhead, only cold currents came down below. Connie was strangely excited in the wood, and the colour flew in her cheeks, and burned blue in her eyes. She walked ploddingly, picking a few primroses and the first violets, that smelled sweet and cold, sweet and cold. And she drifted on without knowing where she was.

Till she came to the clearing, at the end of the wood, and saw the green-stained stone cottage, looking almost rosy, like the flesh underneath a mushroom, its stone warmed in a burst of sun. And there was a sparkle of yellow jasmine by the door; the closed door. But no sound; no smoke from the chimney; no dog barking.

She went quietly round to the back, where the bank rose up; she had an excuse, to see the daffodils.

And they were there, the short-stemmed flowers, rustling and fluttering and shivering, so bright and alive, but with nowhere to hide their faces, as they turned them away from the wind.

They shook their bright, sunny little rags in bouts of distress. But perhaps they liked it really; perhaps they really liked the tossing.

Constance sat down with her back to a young pine-tree, that wayed against her with curious life, elastic, and powerful, rising up. The erect, alive thing, with its top in the sun!

And she watched the daffodils turn golden, in a burst of sun that was warm on her hands and lap. Even she caught the faint, tarry scent of the flowers. And then, being so still and alone, she seemed to bet into the current of her own proper destiny. She had been fastened by a rope, and jagging and snarring like a boat at its moorings; now she was loose and adrift.

The sunshine gave way to chill; the daffodils were in shadow, dipping silently. So they would dip through the day and the long cold night. So strong in their frailty!

She rose, a little stiff, took a few daffodils, and went down. She hated breaking the flowers, but she wanted just one or two to go with her. She would have to go back to Wragby and its walls, and now she hated it, especially its thick walls. Walls! Always walls! Yet one needed them in this wind.

When she got home Clifford asked her:


’Where did you go?’


’Right across the wood! Look, aren’t the little daffodils adorable? To think they should come out of the earth!’

’Just as much out of air and sunshine,’ he said.


’But modelled in the earth,’ she retorted, with a prompt contradiction, that surprised her a little.


--

7.6 真緊她 tō 知影按怎管顧伊

7.6 Chin kín yi tō chai-iáⁿ án-chóaⁿ koán-kò͘ i

"Ai-ah, sī ah, bô m̄-tio̍h, án-ne ē kā Chatterley Hj thiám--sí! Ka-chài yin a-chí lâi tàu saⁿ-kāng. Cha-po͘ lâng bē-hiáu siūⁿ, m̄-koán sin-hūn koân a̍h kē, chóng-sī jīn-ûi cha-bó͘ thè in chò sī eng-kái. Oh, chiah-ê ōe góa í-keng kā khòng-kang kóng chē-chē pái ah lah. M̄-koh che tùi Clifford Sià chin khùn-lān, lí chai, i siang-kha put-sūi. In pún sī chū-chun ê ka-cho̍k, koân-koân chāi-siōng, che mā-sī in ê khoân-lī. Taⁿ soah siū tio̍h chit-khoán táⁿ-kek! Che hō͘ Chatterley Hj chin kan-lân, hoān-sè yi siū ê táⁿ-kek khah tōa. Yi sit khì gōa chē ah! Góa kan-ta ū Ted 3 nî, láu-si̍t kóng, hit 3 nî hō͘ góa it-seng lân-bōng. Chi̍t chheng ê chhōe bô chi̍t ê chhiūⁿ i, kong-bêng, chhàn-lān. Siáng siūⁿ ē-kàu i ē tio̍h chai-eh? Kàu taⁿ, góa iáu m̄-káⁿ siong-sìn, góa it-ti̍t m̄ siong-sìn, sui-bóng góa chhin chhiú sé i ê si-thé. Chāi góa, i pēng bô sí, i m̄-bat sí. Góa m̄ sêng-jīn i í-keng sí ah."

Tī Wragby, chiah-ê ōe chin sin-kî, Connie í-chêng m̄-bat thiaⁿ kòe; che hō͘ yi thiaⁿ kah chin chhù-bī.

Tī thâu chi̍t lé-pài hit kha-tau, Bolton Tt tī Wragby chin tiām-chēng, yi bô piáu-hiān chhut chū-sìn, chiàm-tōa ê pún-sèng, sió-khóa ē kín-tiuⁿ. Bīn-tùi Clifford, yi ē pháiⁿ-sè, kiaⁿ-kiaⁿ, tiām-tiām. Clifford kah-ì yi án-ne, hō͘ i kám-kak ū ui-giâm, tō chāi yi thè i chhú-lí tāi-chì, mā bē bô chū-chāi.

"Yi sī chin hó-iōng ê sió chut-á!" Clifford kóng. Connie ba̍k-chiu tián tōa, kám-kak kî-koài, m̄-koh yi bô ìn-chhùi. Nn̄g lâng ê khòaⁿ-hoat chha chiâⁿ chē!

Bô kú, Clifford tùi chit ê hō͘-sū ê thài-tō͘ tō ná ông-iâ. Che, Bolton Tt ka-tī chá tō ū liāu tio̍h, m̄-koh Clifford sī put-ti put-kak án-ne chò. Pa̍t-lâng túi lán ê khòaⁿ-hoat, lán lóng chin bín-kám! Khòng-kang tō ná gín-á leh, yi teh kā in pau se-pò͘ a̍h chò hō͘-lí ê sî, in ē kap yi kóng-ōe, kā kóng tó-ūi thiàⁿ. In chóng-sī hō͘ yi kám-kak ka-tī chin ko-kùi, sī hō͘-lí kài ê chhiau-jîn. Taⁿ Clifford hō͘ yi kám-kak chiok bî-sió, tō ná chi̍t ê lú-po̍k, che yi mā tiām-tiām chiap-siū, tiâu-chéng ka-tī lâi bīn-tùi siōng-liû kai-kip.

Yi chin tiām-chēng, bīn-bô͘ tn̂g-tn̂g, hó-khòaⁿ, ba̍k-chiu chóng-sī khòaⁿ ē-bīn, án-ne lâi ho̍k-sāi i. Yi kóng-ōe chóng-sī khiam-hi: "Taⁿ, góa ē-sái chò che bô, Clifford Sià? Ē-sái chò he bô?"

"Bián, bān-chhiáⁿ chò. Liâm-mi chiah kiò lí chò."

"Sī ah, Clifford Sià."

"Kòe pòaⁿ tiám-cheng chiah koh lâi."

"Sī ah, Clifford Sià."

"Hiah-ê kū pò-chóa kā the̍h chhut-khì, hó-m̄?"

"Sī ah, Clifford Sià."

Yi khin-khin lī-khui, pòaⁿ tiám-cheng liáu, koh khin-khin lâi. Án-ne hông chhe-sái, m̄-koh yi bô kòa-ì. Yi tng teh sek-èng siōng-liû kai-kip ê lâng. Yi bô bāi-oàn, mā bô thó-ià Clifford; i chí-sī piáu-hiān in siōng-liû kai-kip ê hiān-siōng, che yi chū-lâi m̄ bat, taⁿ tō boeh bat in ah. Yi kám-kak Chatterley Hj khah hó chò-hóe, chóng--sī, ka-têng ni̍h lú chú-lâng siōng iáu-kín.

Bolton Tt àm-sî tio̍h an-tah Clifford chiūⁿ-chhn̂g, yi khùn tī cháu-lông tùi-bīn ê pâng-keng, pòaⁿ-mê i nā chhi̍h lêng-á, yi tio̍h lâi. Chá-khí yi mā tio̍h an-tah i, bô kú tio̍h koh pang i sé-tn̄g, chhēng-chhah, sīm-chì iōng yi he cha-bó͘ lâng un-jiû, thé-thiap ê hong-sek, thè i khau chhùi-chhiu. Yi chin gâu, chin khiàng, chin kín yi tō chai-iáⁿ án-chóaⁿ koán-kò͘ i lah. Chóng--sī, tng lí tī i ē-hâi bòa sap-bûn pho͘, jiû-jiû lù i he ngē-ngē ê chhùi-chhiu ê sî, i kap khòng-kang pēng bô siáⁿ-mih chha-pia̍t. I ê chū-tāi kap bô sêng-khún bē hō͘ yi kòa-ì; yi tng teh tit-tio̍h sin ê keng-giām.

Put-jî-kò, iú-koan Connie kā an-tah i ê khang-khòe kau hō͘ chi̍t ê chhiàⁿ-lâi ê chheⁿ-hūn cha-bó͘, Clifford sim-lāi bē goān-liōng yi. I kā ka-tī kóng: che hāi sí liáu i kap yi tiong-kan chhin-bi̍t ê hoe-lúi. M̄-koh Connie bô kòa-ì che. In tiong-kan ê chhin-bi̍t hoe-lúi tō ná kià-seⁿ tī yi ê sèⁿ-miā chhiū ê lân-hoe, án-ne seⁿ chhut-lâi ê, chāi yi khòaⁿ, put-kò sī chi̍t lúi li-li lak-lak ê hoe.

Taⁿ, yi khah chū-iû ah, ē-sái tī ka-tī pâng-keng khin-sang tôaⁿ-khîm, chhiùⁿ-koa: "M̄-thang bong he chhih-á, in-ūi ài ê sok-pa̍k pháiⁿ pak-khui." It-ti̍t kàu chòe-kīn yi chiah chai, he ài ê sok-pa̍k sī gōa-nī pháiⁿ pak-khui. Kám-siā Thiⁿ, yi í-keng kā he pak-khui lah! Yi chiâⁿ hoaⁿ-hí ē-tàng ko͘-to̍k chi̍t lâng, m̄-bián tio̍h it-ti̍t kap i kóng-ōe. Tng i ka-tī chi̍t lâng ê sî, i iōng phah-jī-ki tap-tap-tap phah-jī, phah bô thêng. M̄-koh i nā bô teh "kang-chok", yi nā tī hia, i tō kóng-ōe, it-ti̍t kóng; put-toān hun-sek kok-chióng lâng kap tōng-ki, kap in-kó, kò-sèng, kap phín-keh, it-ti̍t kàu yi tòng bē-tiâu. Chêng kúi nî, yi chin kah-ì thiaⁿ, taⁿ yi ū-kàu ah, hut-jiân-kan soah siuⁿ chē lah. Taⁿ, yi chin kám-un, yi ē-tàng koh ka-tī chi̍t lâng lah.

He tō ná-chhiūⁿ in nn̄g lâng ê sim-lêng ni̍h ū chhian-chhian bān-bān ê kin kap sòaⁿ ká chò-hóe, piàn chò chi̍t kiû, bô hoat-tō͘ koh ke-lo̍h, chhiū-châng chiām-chiām teh sí. Taⁿ, yi tng-teh chēng-chēng, sè-jī kā nn̄g lâng sim-lêng ê kat-kiû tháu khui, chi̍t tiâu chi̍t tiâu khin-khin pàng sang sòaⁿ kat, tio̍h ū nāi-sim, koh kóaⁿ-kín, thang tit-tio̍h tháu-pàng. M̄-koh chit-chióng ài ê sok-pa̍k pí pa̍t-khoán sok-pa̍k khah pháiⁿ tháu; sui-bóng Bolton Tt lâi sī chin tōa ê pang-chān.

M̄-koh, Clifford iáu sī ài tī ám-sî hām Connie ū chhin-bi̍t ê kau-tâm: kóng-ōe a̍h-sī chhut-siaⁿ tha̍k-chheh. Tān-sī, Connie hoan-hù Bolton Tt tī 10 tiám lâi, án-ne yi tō ē-tàng chiūⁿ-lâu, ko͘-ko͘ ka-tī chi̍t lâng. Clifford kau hō͘ Bolton Tt tō ē-sái lah.

Bolton Tt hām Betts Tt tī koan-ke ê pâng-keng chia̍h-pn̄g, án-ne in lóng lī-piān. Chin kî-koài, taⁿ ka-po̍k ê só͘-chāi ká-ná piàn khah kīn ah; í-keng lâi kàu Clifford chheh-pâng ê mn̄g-kháu, í-chêng in lóng lī chin hn̄g. In-ūi, Betts Tt ū-sî ē lâi Bolton ê pâng-keng chē, Connie thiaⁿ ē-tio̍h in ah kē ê kóng-ōe siaⁿ, kan-ta yi kap Clifford nn̄g-lâng chò-hóe ê sî, yi kám-kak ná chhiūⁿ lô-tōng kai-kip ê kian-kiông kap chùn-tāng iw-keng chhim-ji̍p in ê khí-ki-sek. Kan-ta Bolton Tt lâi, Wragby í-keng piàn chiâⁿ chē.

Connie kám-kak ka-tī kái-thoat lah, sè-kài bô kāng lah, chhoán ê khùi mā bô kāng lah. M̄-koh yi iáu-sī hoân-ló, yi iáu ū chē-chē kin, ná sī tō-tek ê kin, iáu ká tī Clifford hia. M̄-koh, yi chhoán-khùi ū khah chū-iû ah, yi ê sèⁿ-miā tng boeh khai-sí chi̍t ê sin ê kai-tōaⁿ.

--

7.6 真緊她 tō 知影按怎管顧伊

"Ai-ah, 是 ah, 無毋著, án-ne 會 kā Chatterley Hj 忝死! 佳哉姻阿姊來鬥 saⁿ-kāng. 查埔人袂曉想, 毋管身份懸抑低, 總是認為查某替 in 做是應該. Oh, chiah-ê 話我已經 kā 礦工講濟濟擺 ah lah. M̄-koh 這對 Clifford Sià 真困難, 你知, 伊雙跤不遂. In 本是自尊 ê 家族, 懸懸在上, 這 mā 是 in ê 權利. 今煞受著這款打擊! 這予 Chatterley Hj 真艱難, 凡勢她受 ê 打擊較大. 她失去偌濟 ah! 我干焦有 Ted 3 年, 老實講, 彼 3 年予我一生難忘. 一千个揣無一个像伊, 光明, 燦爛. Siáng 想會到伊會著災厄? 到今, 我猶毋敢相信, 我一直毋相信, 雖罔我親手洗伊 ê 死體. 在我, 伊並無死, 伊毋 bat 死. 我毋承認伊已經死 ah."

Tī Wragby, chiah-ê 話真新奇, Connie 以前毋 bat 聽過; 這予她聽 kah 真趣味.

Tī 頭一禮拜彼跤兜, Bolton Tt tī Wragby 真恬靜, 她無表現出自信, 佔大 ê 本性, 小可會緊張. 面對 Clifford, 她會歹勢, 驚驚, 恬恬. Clifford 佮意她 án-ne, 予伊感覺有威嚴, tō 在她替伊處理代誌, mā 袂無自在.

"她是真好用 ê 小卒仔!" Clifford 講. Connie 目睭展大, 感覺奇怪, m̄-koh 她無應喙. 兩人 ê 看法差誠濟!

無久, Clifford 對這个護士 ê 態度 tō ná 王爺. 這, Bolton Tt 家己早 tō 有料著, m̄-koh Clifford 是不知不覺 án-ne 做. 別人對咱 ê 看法, 咱攏真敏感! 礦工 tō ná 囡仔 leh, 她 teh kā in 包紗布抑做護理 ê 時, in 會 kap 她講話, kā 講佗位疼. In 總是予她感覺家己真高貴, 是護理界 ê 超人. 今 Clifford 予她感覺足微小, tō ná 一个女僕, 這她 mā 恬恬接受, 調整家己來面對上流階級.

她真恬靜, 面模長長, 好看, 目睭總是看下面, án-ne 來服侍伊. 她講話總是謙虛: "今, 我 ē-sái 做這無, Clifford Sià? Ē-sái 做彼無?"

"免, 慢且做. Liâm-mi 才叫你做."

"是 ah, Clifford Sià."

"過半點鐘才 koh 來."

"是 ah, Clifford Sià."

"Hiah-ê 舊報紙 kā 提出去, 好毋?"

"是 ah, Clifford Sià."

她輕輕離開, 半點鐘了, koh 輕輕來. Án-ne hông 差使, m̄-koh 她無掛意. 她當 teh 適應上流階級 ê 人. 她無埋怨, mā 無討厭 Clifford; 伊只是表現 in 上流階級 ê 現象, 這她自來毋 bat, 今 tō 欲 bat in ah. 她感覺 Chatterley Hj 較好做伙, 總是, 家庭 ni̍h 女主人上要緊.

Bolton Tt 暗時著安搭 Clifford 上床, 她睏 tī 走廊對面 ê 房間, 半暝伊若揤鈴仔, 她著來. 早起她 mā 著安搭伊, 無久著 koh 幫伊洗盪, 穿插, 甚至用她彼查某人溫柔, 體貼 ê 方式, 替伊剾喙鬚. 她真 gâu, 真 khiàng, 真緊她 tō 知影按怎管顧伊 lah. 總是, 當你 tī 伊下頦抹 sap-bûn 泡, 柔柔攄伊彼硬硬 ê 喙鬚 ê 時, 伊 kap 礦工並無啥差別. 伊 ê 自大 kap 無誠懇袂予她掛意; 她當 teh 得著新 ê 經驗.

不而過, 有關 Connie kā 安搭伊 ê khang-khòe 交予這个倩來 ê 生份查某, Clifford 心內袂原諒她. 伊 kā 家己講: 這害死了伊 kap 她中間親密 ê 花蕊. M̄-koh Connie 無掛意這. In 中間 ê 親密花蕊 tō ná 寄生 tī 她 ê 性命樹 ê 蘭花, án-ne 生出來 ê, 在她看, 不過是一蕊 li-li lak-lak ê 花.

今, 她較自由 ah, 會使 tī 家己房間輕鬆彈琴, 唱歌: "毋通摸彼刺仔, 因為愛 ê 束縛歹剝開." 一直到最近她才知, 彼愛 ê 束縛是偌 nī 歹剝開. 感謝天, 她已經 kā 彼剝開 lah! 她誠歡喜 ē-tàng 孤獨一人, 毋免著一直 kap 伊講話. 當伊家己一人 ê 時, 伊用拍字機 tap-tap-tap 拍字, 拍無停. M̄-koh 伊若無 teh "工作", 她若 tī 遐, 伊 tō 講話, 一直講; 不斷分析各種人 kap 動機, kap 因果, 個性, kap 品格, 一直到她擋袂牢. 前幾年, 她真佮意聽, 今她有夠 ah, 忽然間煞 siuⁿ 濟 lah. 今, 她真感恩, 她 ē-tàng koh 家己一人 lah.

彼 tō ná 像 in 兩人 ê 心靈 ni̍h 有千千萬萬 ê 根 kap 線絞做伙, 變做一毬, 無法度 koh 加落, 樹叢漸漸 teh 死. 今, 她當 teh 靜靜, 細膩 kā 兩人心靈 ê 結毬敨開, 一條一條輕輕放鬆線結, 著有耐心, koh 趕緊, 通得著敨放. M̄-koh 這種愛 ê 束縛比別款束縛較歹敨; 雖罔 Bolton Tt 來是真大 ê 幫贊.

M̄-koh, Clifford 猶是愛 tī 暗時和 Connie 有親密 ê 交談: 講話抑是出聲讀冊. 但是, Connie 吩咐 Bolton Tt tī 10 點來, án-ne 她 tō ē-tàng 上樓, 孤孤家己一人. Clifford 交予 Bolton Tt tō 會使 lah.

Bolton Tt 和 Betts Tt tī 管家 ê 房間食飯, án-ne in 攏利便. 真奇怪, 今家僕 ê 所在 ká-ná 變較近 ah; 已經來到 Clifford 冊房 ê 門口, 以前 in 攏離真遠. 因為, Betts Tt 有時會來 Bolton ê 房間坐, Connie 聽會著 in 壓低 ê 講話聲, 干焦她 kap Clifford 兩人做伙 ê 時, 她感覺 ná 像勞動階級 ê 堅強 kap 震動已經侵入 in ê 起居室. 干焦 Bolton Tt 來, Wragby 已經變誠濟.

Connie 感覺家己解脫 lah, 世界無仝 lah, 喘 ê 氣 mā 無仝 lah. M̄-koh 她猶是煩惱, 她猶是有濟濟根, ná 是道德 ê 根, 猶絞 tī Clifford 遐. M̄-koh, 她喘氣有較自由 ah, 她 ê 性命當欲開始一个新 ê 階段.

--

7.6

’Why, yes, of course, it would wear Lady Chatterley out! It’s a mercy she had a sister to come and help her. Men don’t think, high and low-alike, they take what a woman does for them for granted. Oh, I’ve told the colliers off about it many a time. But it’s very hard for Sir Clifford, you know, crippled like that. They were always a haughty family, standoffish in a way, as they’ve a right to be. But then to be brought down like that! And it’s very hard on Lady Chatterley, perhaps harder on her. What she misses! I only had Ted three years, but my word, while I had him I had a husband I could never forget. He was one in a thousand, and jolly as the day. Who’d ever have thought he’d get killed? I don’t believe it to this day somehow, I’ve never believed it, though I washed him with my own hands. But he was never dead for me, he never was. I never took it in.’

This was a new voice in Wragby, very new for Connie to hear; it roused a new ear in her.

For the first week or so, Mrs Bolton, however, was very quiet at Wragby, her assured, bossy manner left her, and she was nervous. With Clifford she was shy, almost frightened, and silent. He liked that, and soon recovered his self-possession, letting her do things for him without even noticing her.

’She’s a useful nonentity!’ he said. Connie opened her eyes in wonder, but she did not contradict him. So different are impressions on two different people!

And he soon became rather superb, somewhat lordly with the nurse. She had rather expected it, and he played up without knowing. So susceptible we are to what is expected of us! The colliers had been so like children, talking to her, and telling her what hurt them, while she bandaged them, or nursed them. They had always made her feel so grand, almost super-human in her administrations. Now Clifford made her feel small, and like a servant, and she accepted it without a word, adjusting herself to the upper classes.


She came very mute, with her long, handsome face, and downcast eyes, to administer to him. And she said very humbly: ‘Shall I do this now, Sir Clifford? Shall I do that?’

’No, leave it for a time. I’ll have it done later.’


’Very well, Sir Clifford.’


’Come in again in half an hour.’

’Very well, Sir Clifford.’


’And just take those old papers out, will you?’

’Very well, Sir Clifford.’

She went softly, and in half an hour she came softly again. She was bullied, but she didn’t mind. She was experiencing the upper classes. She neither resented nor disliked Clifford; he was just part of a phenomenon, the phenomenon of the high-class folks, so far unknown to her, but now to be known. She felt more at home with Lady Chatterley, and after all it’s the mistress of the house matters most.

Mrs Bolton helped Clifford to bed at night, and slept across the passage from his room, and came if he rang for her in the night. She also helped him in the morning, and soon valeted him completely, even shaving him, in her soft, tentative woman’s way. She was very good and competent, and she soon knew how to have him in her power. He wasn’t so very different from the colliers after all, when you lathered his chin, and softly rubbed the bristles. The stand-offishness and the lack of frankness didn’t bother her; she was having a new experience.

Clifford, however, inside himself, never quite forgave Connie for giving up her personal care of him to a strange hired woman. It killed, he said to himself, the real flower of the intimacy between him and her. But Connie didn’t mind that. The fine flower of their intimacy was to her rather like an orchid, a bulb stuck parasitic on her tree of life, and producing, to her eyes, a rather shabby flower.

Now she had more time to herself she could softly play the piano, up in her room, and sing: ‘Touch not the nettle, for the bonds of love are ill to loose.’ She had not realized till lately how ill to loose they were, these bonds of love. But thank Heaven she had loosened them! She was so glad to be alone, not always to have to talk to him. When he was alone he tapped-tapped-tapped on a typewriter, to infinity. But when he was not ‘working’, and she was there, he talked, always talked; infinite small analysis of people and motives, and results, characters and personalities, till now she had had enough. For years she had loved it, until she had enough, and then suddenly it was too much. She was thankful to be alone.

It was as if thousands and thousands of little roots and threads of consciousness in him and her had grown together into a tangled mass, till they could crowd no more, and the plant was dying. Now quietly, subtly, she was unravelling the tangle of his consciousness and hers, breaking the threads gently, one by one, with patience and impatience to get clear. But the bonds of such love are more ill to loose even than most bonds; though Mrs Bolton’s coming had been a great help.

But he still wanted the old intimate evenings of talk with Connie: talk or reading aloud. But now she could arrange that Mrs Bolton should come at ten to disturb them. At ten o’clock Connie could go upstairs and be alone. Clifford was in good hands with Mrs Bolton.

Mrs Bolton ate with Mrs Betts in the housekeeper’s room, since they were all agreeable. And it was curious how much closer the servants’ quarters seemed to have come; right up to the doors of Clifford’s study, when before they were so remote. For Mrs Betts would sometimes sit in Mrs Bolton’s room, and Connie heard their lowered voices, and felt somehow the strong, other vibration of the working people almost invading the sitting-room, when she and Clifford were alone. So changed was Wragby merely by Mrs Bolton’s coming.

And Connie felt herself released, in another world, she felt she breathed differently. But still she was afraid of how many of her roots, perhaps mortal ones, were tangled with Clifford’s. Yet still, she breathed freer, a new phase was going to begin in her life.

--