15.4 我欲 kā 機器 ùi 地球掃掉

15.4 Góa boeh kā ki-khì ùi tē-kiû sàu-tiāu

Yi jiû-jiû iōng bīn lù i ê pak-tó͘, chhiú phóng i ê lān-hu̍t-á. Lān-chiáu sió-khóa teh ngiauh, ná ū kî-miāu ê sèⁿ-miā, m̄-koh iáu-bōe khiàu khí-lâi. Gōa-kháu ê hō͘ piàⁿ-sèⁿ-miā teh lo̍h.

"Lán lâi ūi kî-thaⁿ ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ seng-oa̍h. Lán mài ūi tio̍h thàn-chîⁿ seng-oa̍h, mā mài ūi ka-tī a̍h-sī ūi pa̍t-lâng. Taⁿ, lán put-tek-í. Lán put-tek-í tio̍h ūi ka-tī thàn chi̍t-kóa, tōa pō͘-hūn lóng sī thè thâu-ke thàn. Lán tio̍h kái-piàn che! Chi̍t-pō͘ chi̍t-pō͘ kái-piàn. Lán m̄-bián tōa-siaⁿ. Chi̍t-pō͘ chi̍t-pō͘, lán hìⁿ-sak kui-ê kang-gia̍p seng-oa̍h, tò tńg-khì. Chi̍t sut-á chîⁿ tō ū-kàu. Ta̍k-ê lóng kāng-khoán, lí kap góa, thâu-ke kap chú-lâng, sīm-chì kok-ông. Chi̍t sut-á chîⁿ tō ū-kàu. Chí-iàu ū koat-sim, lí tō ē-tàng thiàu chhut khùn-kéng." I sió thêng-khùn, chiah koh kè-sio̍k:

"Góa ē kā in kóng: Khòaⁿ, lí khòaⁿ Joe! I hêng-tōng khó-ài! Khòaⁿ i án-ná hêng-tōng, oa̍h-phoat koh liú-lia̍h. I chiâⁿ súi! Koh khòaⁿ Jonah! I pūn-chhiâng, bái kô͘-kô͘, in-ūi i m̄-bat boeh ka-tī khiā-khí. Góa ē kā in kóng: Khòaⁿ! khòaⁿ lín ka-tī! keng-thâu chi̍t-pêng koân chi̍t-pêng kē, siang-thúi oan-oan, siang-kha pái! Lín ê khó͘-kang ná kā lín hāi kah án-ne? Hō͘ lín ka-tī hāi-liáu-liáu. Bô su-iàu chò hiah chē. Kā saⁿ thǹg tiāu, khòaⁿ lín ka-tī. Lín pún tio̍h oa̍h-phoat koh bí-lē, m̄-koh taⁿ lín bái koh pòaⁿ-sí. Góa ē án-ne kā in kóng. Góa ē kiò cha-po͘-lâng chhēng bô-kāng ê saⁿ: pa̍k-sin ê âng tn̂g-khò͘, hiáⁿ-âng ê siatchuh, pe̍h-sek ê jiaket. Ai-ah, cha-po͘ nā ū âng-sek súi ê siang-thúi, kan-ta he tī chi̍t-kò-goe̍h tō ē kā in kái-piàn. In tō koh khai-sí chiâⁿ-chò cha-po͘-lâng! Cha-bó͘ neh, ē-sái chiàu ka-tī ê kah-ì khì chhēng. In-ūi, cha-po͘ kiâⁿ-lō͘ ê sî kha-thúi nā chhēng pa̍k-sin ê âng tn̂g-khò͘, kha-chhng hó-khòaⁿ, koh tī pe̍h-sek jiaket ē-bīn hiàn-chhut âng-sek: án-ne cha-bó͘ tō khai-sí ū cha-bó͘-lâng khoán. Taⁿ sī in-ūi cha-po͘ m̄-sī cha-po͘, cha-bó͘ chiah ē piàn-sêng án-ne... Jiân-āu, kā Tevershall húi-tiāu, koh khí chi̍t-kóa sin ê súi chhù, hō͘ lán lóng ū thang tòa. Koh kā chng-kha chéng-lí chi̍t-ē. Mài ū siuⁿ chē gín-á, in-ūi sè-kài ê lâng siuⁿ chē ah.

"M̄-koh, góa bē kā cha-po͘-lâng kóng-kàu: kan-ta ē pak-tiāu in ê saⁿ, kóng: Khòaⁿ lín ka-tī! He lóng sī ūi-tio̍h thàn-chîⁿ!... Chim-chiok lín ka-tī! He lóng sī ūi-tio̍h thàn-chîⁿ! Lín it-ti̍t lóng ūi-tio̍h thàn-chîⁿ! Lín khòaⁿ Tevershall! Hia chiâⁿ khióng-pò͘. In-ūi hia hō͘ lín ūi-tio̍h chîⁿ kang-chok. Khòaⁿ lín kau-pôe ê cha-bó͘! Yin bô koan-sim lín, lín mā bô koan-sim yin. In-ūi lín ê sî-kan lóng iōng tī kang-chok, iōng tī koan-sim thàn-chîⁿ. Lín bē-tàng khai-káng, bē-tàng oa̍h-tāng, bē-tàng seng-oa̍h, lín bē-tàng hó-hó hām cha-bó͘ kau-óng. Lín bô teh seng-oa̍h. Khòaⁿ lín ka-tī lah!"

Chi̍t-chūn oân-choân ê tiām-chēng. Connie chi̍t-pòaⁿ teh thiaⁿ, ná kā yi ùi lâi liâu-á ê lō͘-siōng só͘ chhái ê bo̍k-bōng hoe kat tī i pak-tó͘ ē ê mo͘-khiû nih. Gōa-kháu ê sè-kài tiām chiuh-chiuh, sió-khóa ē léng.

"Lí ū sì chióng mo͘," yi kā i kóng. "Lí heng-khám ê mo͘ chha-put-to sī o͘-sek, thâu-mo͘ sek chhián-chhián: m̄-koh lí ê chhùi-chhiu chho͘ koh chhiah, lí chia ê mo͘, ài-chêng ê mo͘, ná chhiūⁿ siám-sih kim-âng ho̍k-kià-seⁿ (槲寄生, mistletoe) ê chhéng-á. Che sī só͘-ū tiong-kan siōng kó͘-chui ê!"

I khòaⁿ lo̍h-khì, khòaⁿ tio̍h tī kái-piⁿ mo͘-khiû nih gû-leng sek ê bo̍k-bōng hoe.

"Ái! Hia sī khǹg bo̍k-bōng hoe ê hó só͘-chāi, m̄-koán cha-po͘ a̍h cha-bó͘ ê mo͘-khiû. M̄-koh, lí kám bô koan-sim bī-lâi?"

Yi áⁿ-thâu khòaⁿ i.

"Oh, góa chiok koan-sim neh!" yi kóng.

"In-ūi tī kám-kak jîn-lūi siū i ka-tī pi-phí ê khok-hêng só͘ chù-tiāⁿ ê sî, góa tō kám-kak Si̍t-bîn-tē pēng bô hiah-nī hn̄g. Goe̍h-niû mā bô hiah-nī hn̄g, in-ūi tī hia lí ē-tàng oa̍t-thâu khòaⁿ chē-chē thiⁿ-chheⁿ tiong-kan ê tē-kiû: a-cha, khok-hêng, bô-bī, che lóng sī jîn-lūi chō-sêng ê. Chū án-ne, góa kám-kak góa ná thun-lo̍h táⁿ-chiap, khó͘ kah boeh péng-pak, nā ū ūi thang cháu-siám, lóng bē siuⁿ hn̄g. M̄-koh, nā oat chi̍t-ê oan, góa tō koh bē-kì-tit. Sui-jiân sī kiàn-siàu-tāi, chit pah-nî lâi, lán lâng siū-tio̍h ê sī siáⁿ-khoán ê tùi-thāi ah: lâng piàn-chiâⁿ kang-chok ê thâng-thōa, sit-khì lâng ê pún-sèng kap lâng ê seng-oa̍h. Góa boeh kā ki-khì ùi tē-kiû piáu-bīn sàu-tiāu, boeh choa̍t-jiân kiat-sok kang-gia̍p sî-tāi, ná kiat-sok chi̍t-ê o͘-àm ê chhò-gō kāng-khoán. M̄-koh, in-ūi góa chò bē-kàu, mā bô lâng chò ē-kàu, góa siōng-hó sī pó-chhî sim-chêng pêng-chēng, kòe ka-tī ê seng-oa̍h: góa sī m̄-sī ū hit-lō seng-oa̍h, che góa mā hoâi-gî."

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15.4 我欲 kā 機器 ùi 地球掃掉

她柔柔用面 lù 伊 ê 腹肚, 手捧伊 ê 膦核仔. 膦鳥小可 teh ngiauh, ná 有奇妙 ê 性命, m̄-koh 猶未翹起來. 外口 ê 雨拚性命 teh 落.

"咱來為其他 ê 物件生活. 咱莫為著趁錢生活, mā 莫為家己抑是為別人. 今, 咱不得已. 咱不得已著為家己趁一寡, 大部份攏是替頭家趁. 咱著改變這! 一步一步改變. 咱毋免大聲. 一步一步, 咱挕捒規个工業生活, 倒轉去. 一屑仔錢 tō 有夠. 逐个攏仝款, 你 kap 我, 頭家 kap 主人, 甚至國王. 一屑仔錢 tō 有夠. 只要有決心, 你 tō 會當跳出困境." 伊小停睏, 才 koh 繼續:

"我會 kā in 講: 看, 你看 Joe! 伊行動可愛! 看伊 án-ná 行動, 活潑 koh 扭掠. 伊誠媠! Koh 看 Jonah! 伊笨 chhiâng, 䆀糊糊, 因為伊 m̄-bat 欲家己徛起. 我會 kā in 講: 看! 看恁家己! 肩頭一爿懸一爿低, 雙腿彎彎, 雙跤跛! 恁 ê 苦工那 kā 恁害 kah án-ne? 予恁家己害了了. 無需要做 hiah 濟. Kā 衫褪掉, 看恁家己. 恁本著活潑 koh 美麗, m̄-koh 今恁䆀 koh 半死. 我會 án-ne kā in 講. 我會叫查埔人穿無仝 ê 衫: 縛身 ê 紅長褲, 顯紅 ê siatchuh, 白色 ê jiaket. Ai-ah, 查埔若有紅色媠 ê 雙腿, 干焦彼 tī 一個月 tō 會 kā in 改變. In tō koh 開始成做查埔人! 查某 neh, 會使照家己 ê 佮意去穿. 因為, 查埔行路 ê 時跤腿若穿縛身 ê 紅長褲, 尻川好看, koh tī 白色 jiaket 下面現出紅色: án-ne 查某 tō 開始有查某人款. 今是因為查埔毋是查埔, 查某才會變成 án-ne... 然後, kā Tevershall 毀掉, koh 起一寡新 ê 媠厝, 予咱攏有通蹛. Koh kā 庄跤整理一下. 莫有 siuⁿ 濟囡仔, 因為世界 ê 人 siuⁿ 濟 ah.

"M̄-koh, 我袂 kā 查埔人講教: 干焦會剝掉 in ê 衫, 講: 看恁家己! 彼攏是為著趁錢!... 斟酌恁家己! 彼攏是為著趁錢! 恁一直攏為著趁錢! 恁看 Tevershall! 遐誠恐怖. 因為遐予恁為著錢工作. 看恁交陪 ê 查某! 姻無關心恁, 恁 mā 無關心姻. 因為恁 ê 時間攏用 tī 工作, 用 tī 關心趁錢. 恁袂當開講, 袂當活動, 袂當生活, 恁袂當好好和查某交往. 恁無 teh 生活. 看恁家己 lah!"

一陣完全 ê 恬靜. Connie 一半 teh 聽, ná kā 她 ùi 來寮仔 ê 路上所採 ê 莫忘花結 tī 伊腹肚下 ê 毛虯 nih. 外口 ê 世界恬 chiuh-chiuh, 小可會冷.

"你有四種毛," 她 kā 伊講. "你胸坎 ê 毛差不多是烏色, 頭毛色淺淺: m̄-koh 你 ê 喙鬚粗 koh 赤, 你遮 ê 毛, 愛情 ê 毛, ná 像閃爍金紅 ho̍k-kià-seⁿ (槲寄生, mistletoe) ê 筅仔. 這是所有中間上古錐 ê!"

伊看落去, 看著 tī 骱邊毛虯 nih 牛奶色 ê 莫忘花.

"Ái! 遐是囥莫忘花 ê 好所在, 毋管查埔抑查某 ê 毛虯. M̄-koh, 你敢無關心未來?"

她 áⁿ 頭看伊.

"Oh, 我足關心 neh!" 她講.

"因為 tī 感覺人類受伊家己卑鄙 ê 酷刑所註定 ê 時, 我 tō 感覺殖民地並無 hiah-nī 遠. 月娘 mā 無 hiah-nī 遠, 因為 tī 遐你會當越頭看濟濟天星中間 ê 地球: a-cha, 酷刑, 無味, 這攏是人類造成 ê. 自 án-ne, 我感覺我 ná 吞落膽汁, 苦 kah 欲 péng 腹, 若有位通走閃, 攏袂 siuⁿ 遠. M̄-koh, 若斡一个彎, 我 tō koh 袂記得. 雖然是見笑代, 這百年來, 咱人受著 ê 是啥款 ê 對待 ah: 人變成工作 ê 蟲 thōa, 失去人 ê 本性 kap 人 ê 生活. 我欲 kā 機器 ùi 地球表面掃掉, 欲絕然結束工業時代, ná 結束一个烏暗 ê 錯誤仝款. M̄-koh, 因為我做袂到, mā 無人做會到, 我上好是保持心情平靜, 過家己 ê 生活: 我是毋是有 hit-lō 生活, 這我 mā 懷疑."

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15.4

She softly rubbed her cheek on his belly, and gathered his balls in her hand. The penis stirred softly, with strange life, but did not rise up. The rain beat bruisingly outside.

‘Let’s live for summat else. Let’s not live ter make money, neither for us-selves nor for anybody else. Now we’re forced to. We’re forced to make a bit for us-selves, an’ a fair lot for th’ bosses. Let’s stop it! Bit by bit, let’s stop it. We needn’t rant an’ rave. Bit by bit, let’s drop the whole industrial life an’ go back. The least little bit o’ money’ll do. For everybody, me an’ you, bosses an’ masters, even th’ king. The least little bit o’ money’ll really do. Just make up your mind to it, an’ you’ve got out o’ th’ mess.’ He paused, then went on:

‘An’ I’d tell ’em: Look! Look at Joe! He moves lovely! Look how he moves, alive and aware. He’s beautiful! An’ look at Jonah! He’s clumsy, he’s ugly, because he’s niver willin’ to rouse himself. I’d tell ’em: Look! look at yourselves! one shoulder higher than t’other, legs twisted, feet all lumps! What have yer done ter yerselves, wi’ the blasted work? Spoilt yerselves. No need to work that much. Take yer clothes off an’ look at yourselves. Yer ought ter be alive an’ beautiful, an’ yer ugly an’ half dead. So I’d tell ’em. An’ I’d get my men to wear different clothes: appen close red trousers, bright red, an’ little short white jackets. Why, if men had red, fine legs, that alone would change them in a month. They’d begin to be men again, to be men! An’ the women could dress as they liked. Because if once the men walked with legs close bright scarlet, and buttocks nice and showing scarlet under a little white jacket: then the women ’ud begin to be women. It’s because th’ men aren’t men, that th’ women have to be. — An’ in time pull down Tevershall and build a few beautiful buildings, that would hold us all. An’ clean the country up again. An’ not have many children, because the world is overcrowded.

‘But I wouldn’t preach to the men: only strip ’em an’ say: Look at yourselves! That’s workin’ for money! — Hark at yourselves! That’s working for money. You’ve been working for money! Look at Tevershall! It’s horrible. That’s because it was built while you was working for money. Look at your girls! They don’t care about you, you don’t care about them. It’s because you’ve spent your time working an’ caring for money. You can’t talk nor move nor live, you can’t properly be with a woman. You’re not alive. Look at yourselves!’

There fell a complete silence. Connie was half listening, and threading in the hair at the root of his belly a few forget-me-nots that she had gathered on the way to the hut. Outside, the world had gone still, and a little icy.

‘You’ve got four kinds of hair,’ she said to him. ‘On your chest it’s nearly black, and your hair isn’t dark on your head: but your moustache is hard and dark red, and your hair here, your love-hair, is like a little brush of bright red-gold mistletoe. It’s the loveliest of all!’

He looked down and saw the milky bits of forget-me-nots in the hair on his groin.

‘Ay! That’s where to put forget-me-nots, in the man-hair, or the maiden-hair. But don’t you care about the future?’

She looked up at him.

‘Oh, I do, terribly!’ she said.

‘Because when I feel the human world is doomed, has doomed itself by its own mingy beastliness, then I feel the Colonies aren’t far enough. The moon wouldn’t be far enough, because even there you could look back and see the earth, dirty, beastly, unsavoury among all the stars: made foul by men. Then I feel I’ve swallowed gall, and it’s eating my inside out, and nowhere’s far enough away to get away. But when I get a turn, I forget it all again. Though it’s a shame, what’s been done to people these last hundred years: men turned into nothing but labour-insects, and all their manhood taken away, and all their real life. I’d wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake. But since I can’t, an’ nobody can, I’d better hold my peace, an’ try an’ live my own life: if I’ve got one to live, which I rather doubt.’

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