17.8 Khàn-siú ê kiàn-siàu-tāi lú lâi lú tōa
Kúi-kang liáu-āu, ū lâi chi̍t-hong Clifford ê phe. I tiāⁿ-tio̍h chin àu-náu.
"Góa chiâⁿ hoaⁿ-hí, thiaⁿ tio̍h kóng, lí chún-pī 16 hit-ji̍t boeh lī-khui Venice. M̄-koh, lí nā hiáng-siū tī hia, mā bián kóaⁿ leh tńg-lâi. Goán su-liām lí, Wragby mā su-liām lí. M̄-koh, tiōng-iàu ê sī lí ài ū chhiong-chiok ê ji̍t-kng, ji̍t-kng hām khùn-saⁿ, chhin-chhiūⁿ Lido ê kóng-kò só͘ kóng ê. Só͘-í, tī hia lí nā hoaⁿ-hí, chhiáⁿ lâu khah kú leh, hó-thang chún-pī tō͘-kòe lán chia ū-kàu khó-phà ê kôaⁿ-thiⁿ. Sīm-chì kin-á-ji̍t mā sī lo̍h-hō͘.
"Góa ū Bolton Tt kut-la̍t koh jīn-chin ê chiàu-kò͘. Yi sī koài-kî ê bu̍t-chióng. Góa oa̍h lú kú lú kám-kak jîn-lūi sī gōa-nī kî-koài ê oa̍h-bu̍t. In ū-ê bē-su ná giâ-kang, ū 100-ki kha, a̍h-sī ná liông-hê, ū 6-ki kha. Chū-lâi ín lán kî-thāi pa̍t-lâng ū jîn-lūi ê it-tì-sèng hām chun-giâm, ná-chhiūⁿ pēng bô chûn-chāi. Lán sīm-chì ē hiâm-gî, chit nn̄g-hāng mi̍h-kiāⁿ tī lán pún-sin, kám ū chûn-chāi kah jīm-hô kiaⁿ-lâng ê thêng-tō͘.
"Khàn-siú ê kiàn-siàu-tāi lú lâi lú tōa, ná chhiūⁿ teh kún seh-kiû. Bolton Tt pò góa chai. Yi hō͘ góa siūⁿ tio̍h hî, sui-jiân bē kóng-ōe, m̄-koh nā oa̍h tio̍h, ē ùi i ê chhi khip-siu an-chēng ê êng-á-ōe. Só͘-ū lóng keng-kòe yi ê chhi thai-kòe, lóng bô ín-khí yi tio̍h-kiaⁿ, bē-su pa̍t-lâng ê seng-oa̍h sū-hāng sī yi ka-tī só͘ su-iàu ê khong-khì.
"Yi kui-sim chù-ì Mellors ê tāi-chì, góa nā hō͘ yi khui-chhùi, yi tō tōa-tōa sè-sè kóng kah bē soah. Yi kian-chhî kiò Mellors in bó͘ ê miâ Bertha Coutts, tùi yi bô-hān ê hùn-khài, bē-su sī pâi-iu teh piáu-ián ê hùn-khài. Góa bat ji̍p kàu chit-ê sè-kài chhiūⁿ Bertha Coutts hit-chióng lâng lo̍p-ko-môe seng-oa̍h ê chhim-té, tán ùi êng-á-ōe ê chúi-lâu thoat-sin, góa chiah bān-bān koh phû chiūⁿ téng-bīn, khòaⁿ tio̍h ji̍t-kng, góa soah hòⁿ-kî, sè-kài ná ē seⁿ-chò án-ne.
"Chāi góa khòaⁿ, che choa̍t-tùi sī chin ê, lán ê sè-kài ká-ná sī tī bān-bu̍t ê téng-bīn, sū-si̍t siōng sī tī chhim-hái ê ē-bīn: só͘-ū lán ê chhiū-á sī hoat tī chúi-té, iah lán sī koài-kî, pau khak ê chúi-té tōng-bu̍t, chia̍h ná pùn-sò ê hê-á kò͘ pak-tó͘. Kan-ta ū sî-chūn, lán ê lêng-hûn ùi lán seng-oa̍h ê bô-té chhim-chhù phēⁿ-phēⁿ-chhoán phû khí-lâi, hn̄g-hn̄g khí-lâi kàu ū chin-chiàⁿ khong-khì ê í-thài (ether) piáu-bīn. Góa siong-sìn, lán chèng-siông teh suh ê khong-khì sī chi̍t-chióng chúi, jîn-lūi ê lâm-lâm lú-lú sī hî-á ê chi̍t-chióng.
"M̄-koh, tī hái-té thó-chia̍h liáu, ū-sî lêng-hûn mā ē chhiūⁿ hái-chiáu án-ne, thiòng-phut-phut chông chhut-lâi. Góa siūⁿ, che sī lán chù-sí ê miā-ūn, tio̍h tī jîn-lūi ê hái-té chhiū-nâ nih thiah-chia̍h lán tông-lūi khó-phà ê chúi-té sèⁿ-miā. M̄-koh, lán éng-seng ê miā-ūn sī, it-tàn thun lo̍h só͘ lia̍h-tio̍h--ê, lán tio̍h thau-cháu, tio̍h ùi kó͘-ló ê hái-iûⁿ piáu-bīn chhiong ji̍p chin-chiàⁿ ê kng, koh khí-lâi kong-bêng ê í-thài. Án-ne, lán tō ē-tàng si̍t-hiān lán éng-seng ê pún-sèng.
"Thiaⁿ Bolton Tt kóng-ōe ê sî, góa kám-kak ka-tī teh tîm, tîm lo̍h sîn-pì ê jîn-lūi-hî teh ngiauh, teh siû ê chúi-té. Hèng bah tō lia̍h lâi chia̍h, kā chhùi-khang that tīⁿ-tīⁿ: tō koh khí-lih, khí-lih, ùi khi̍t-chúi chìn-ji̍p í-thài, ùi tâm chìn-ji̍p ta. Tùi lí, góa ē-tàng kóng che oân-chéng ê kòe-thêng. M̄-koh, nā hām Bolton Tt, góa kan-ta kám-kak tîm lo̍h, tîm-lo̍h, chiâⁿ khó-phà, lâi kàu hái-té, sì-kè lóng sī hái-chháu hām àm-tām ê iau-koài.
"Góa khióng-kiaⁿ, lán ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú ē lī-khui. Hit-ê lī-ke cha-bó͘ só͘ kóng ê kiàn-siàu-tāi, put-tān bô piàn sè, tian-tò tò-tōaⁿ kah lú lâi lú tōa. Yi chí-chek i chióng-chióng kóng-bē-chhut ê tāi-chì, chiâⁿ kî-koài, chit-ê cha-bó͘ soah ē-tàng hō͘ tōa-pō͘-hūn thòaⁿ-kang ê bó͘, khó-phà ê hî, khiā tī yi āu-piah, taⁿ kui chng-thâu lóng hō͘ êng-á-ōe im kah nōa-kô͘-kô͘.
"Góa thiaⁿ-kóng, chit ê Bertha Coutts tī chhiau-chhōe liáu chhun-sià hām liâu-á liáu-āu, koh cháu khì Mellors in lāu-bú ê chhù hia kā loān. Chi̍t-kang, tī cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ pàng-o̍h tńg-lâi ê sî, yi siūⁿ boeh kā chit-ê seⁿ-chò chhiūⁿ lāu-bú ê sió-kiáⁿ lia̍h cháu; m̄-koh, chit-ê gín-á, m̄-nā bô chim chû-ài lāu-bú ê chhiú, tian-tò tōa-la̍t kā kā, soah hō͘ iáu chi̍t-ki chhiú siàn chhùi-phé, chū án-ne poa̍h-lo̍h thô͘-kau: āu-lâi, hit-ê hùn-nō͘ koh ià-hoân ê a-má chiah kā kái-kiù khí-lâi.
"Hit-ê cha-bó͘ pàng ū-kàu chē ê to̍k-khì. Yi siông-sè pò͘-sàng yi hun-in seng-oa̍h ê tōa-sè hāng tāi-chì. Hit-chióng tāi-chì, tī hu-chhe tiong-kan, thong-siông sī tâi tī hun-in bô-giân ê siōng chhim ê bōng-á té. Tâi 10 nî liáu-āu, koat-tēng boeh kā ku̍t chhut-lâi, yi ū chin koài-kî ê an-pâi. Chiah-ê sè-chiat góa sī ùi Linley hām i-seng hia thiaⁿ tio̍h ê: i-seng kám-kak he chiâⁿ hó-sńg. Tong-jiân, lāi-té pēng bô siáⁿ-hòe. Jîn-lūi it-hiòng tùi sio-kàn ê chu-sè tō ū kî-koài ê hèng-chhù, iah cha-po͘-lâng nā kah-ì, ná Benvenuto Cellini só͘ kóng ê, "iōng Italia hong-sek" kàn in bó͘, he put-kò sī i hèng ê kháu-bī, pēng m̄-sī bē-sái. M̄-koh, góa sian to siūⁿ bē-kàu, lán la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú kèng-jiân ū hiah chē chhut-thâu. Siūⁿ mā chai, Bertha Coutts tio̍h seng tông-ì i án-ne pìⁿ. M̄-koán án-chóaⁿ, he sī in su-jîn tiong-kan ê òe-sòe tāi, hām pa̍t-lâng bô chi̍t tiám-á koan-hē. [...]"
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17.8 看守 ê 見笑代 lú 來 lú 大
幾工了後, 有來一封 Clifford ê 批. 伊定著真懊惱.
"我誠歡喜, 聽著講, 你準備 16 彼日欲離開 Venice. M̄-koh, 你若享受 tī 遐, mā 免趕 leh 轉來. 阮思念你, Wragby mā 思念你. M̄-koh, 重要 ê 是你愛有充足 ê 日光, 日光和睏衫, 親像 Lido ê 廣告所講 ê. 所以, tī 遐你若歡喜, 請留較久 leh, 好通準備度過咱遮有夠可怕 ê 寒天. 甚至今仔日 mā 是落雨.
"我有 Bolton Tt 骨力 koh 認真 ê 照顧. 她是怪奇 ê 物種. 我活 lú 久 lú 感覺人類是 gōa-nī 奇怪 ê 活物. In 有 ê 袂輸 ná 蜈蚣, 有 100 支跤, 抑是 ná 龍蝦, 有 6 支跤. 自來引咱期待別人有人類 ê 一致性和尊嚴, ná 像並無存在. 咱甚至會嫌疑, 這兩項物件 tī 咱本身, 敢有存在 kah 任何驚人 ê 程度.
"看守 ê 見笑代 lú 來 lú 大, ná 像 teh 滾雪球. Bolton Tt 報我知. 她予我想著魚, 雖然袂講話, m̄-koh 若活著, 會 ùi 伊 ê 鰓吸收安靜 ê 閒仔話. 所有攏經過她 ê 腮篩過, 攏無引起她著驚, 袂輸別人 ê 生活事項是她家己所需要 ê 空氣.
"她規心注意 Mellors ê 代誌, 我若予她開喙, 她 tō 大大細細講 kah 袂煞. 她堅持叫 Mellors in 某 ê 名 Bertha Coutts, 對她無限 ê 憤慨, 袂輸是俳優 teh 表演 ê 憤慨. 我 bat 入到這个世界像 Bertha Coutts 彼種人 lo̍p-ko-môe 生活 ê 深底, 等 ùi 閒仔話 ê 水流脫身, 我才慢慢 koh 浮上頂面, 看著日光, 我煞好奇, 世界那會生做 án-ne.
"在我看, 這絕對是真 ê, 咱 ê 世界 ká-ná 是 tī 萬物 ê 頂面, 事實上是 tī 深海 ê 下面: 所有咱 ê 樹仔是發 tī 水底, iah 咱是怪奇, 包殼 ê 水底動物, 食 ná 糞埽 ê 蝦仔顧腹肚. 干焦有時陣, 咱 ê 靈魂 ùi 咱生活 ê 無底深處 phēⁿ-phēⁿ 喘浮起來, 遠遠起來到有真正空氣 ê 以太 (ether) 表面. 我相信, 咱正常 teh 欶 ê 空氣是一種水, 人類 ê 男男女女是魚仔 ê 一種.
"M̄-koh, tī 海底討食了, 有時靈魂 mā 會像海鳥 án-ne, 暢 phut-phut 傱出來. 我想, 這是咱註死 ê 命運, 著 tī 人類 ê 海底樹林 nih 拆食咱同類可怕 ê 水底性命. M̄-koh, 咱永生 ê 命運是, 一旦吞落所掠著 ê, 咱著偷走, 著 ùi 古老 ê 海洋表面衝入真正 ê 光, koh 起來光明 ê 以太. Án-ne, 咱 tō 會當實現咱永生 ê 本性.
"聽 Bolton Tt 講話 ê 時, 我感覺家己 teh 沉, 沉落神祕 ê 人類魚 teh ngiauh, teh 泅 ê 水底. 興肉 tō 掠來食, kā 喙空 that tīⁿ-tīⁿ: tō koh 起 lih, 起 lih, ùi khi̍t 水進入以太, ùi 澹進入焦. 對你, 我會當講這完整 ê 過程. M̄-koh, 若和 Bolton Tt, 我干焦感覺沉落, 沉落, 誠可怕, 來到海底, 四界攏是海草和暗淡 ê 妖怪.
"我恐驚, 咱 ê 獵場看守會離開. 彼个離家查某所講 ê 見笑代, 不但無變細, 顛倒倒彈 kah lú 來 lú 大. 她指責伊種種講袂出 ê 代誌, 誠奇怪, 這个查某煞會當予大部份炭工 ê 某, 可怕 ê 魚, 徛 tī 她後壁, 今規庄頭攏予閒仔話淹 kah 爛糊糊.
"我聽講, 這个 Bertha Coutts tī 搜揣了村舍和寮仔了後, koh 走去 Mellors in 老母 ê 厝遐 kā 亂. 一工, tī 查某囝放學轉來 ê 時, 她想欲 kā 這个生做像老母 ê 小囝掠走; m̄-koh, 這个囡仔, m̄-nā 無唚慈愛老母 ê 手, 顛倒大力 kā 咬, 煞予猶一支手搧喙䫌, 自 án-ne 跋落塗溝: 後來, 彼个憤怒 koh 厭煩 ê 阿媽才 kā 解救起來.
"彼个查某放有夠濟 ê 毒氣. 她詳細播送她婚姻生活 ê 大細項代誌. 彼種代誌, tī 夫妻中間, 通常是埋 tī 婚姻無言 ê 上深 ê 墓仔底. 埋 10 年了後, 決定欲 kā 掘出來, 她有真怪奇 ê 安排. Chiah-ê 細節我是 ùi Linley 和醫生遐聽著 ê: 醫生感覺彼誠好耍. 當然, 內底並無啥貨. 人類一向對 sio-kàn ê 姿勢 tō 有奇怪 ê 興趣, iah 查埔人若佮意, ná Benvenuto Cellini 所講 ê, "用 Italia 方式" kàn in 某, 彼不過是伊興 ê 口味, 並毋是袂使. M̄-koh, 我仙 to 想袂到, 咱獵場看守竟然有 hiah 濟齣頭. 想 mā 知, Bertha Coutts 著先同意伊 án-ne pìⁿ. 毋管按怎, 彼是 in 私人中間 ê òe-sòe 代, 和別人無一點仔關係. [...]"
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17.8
A few days later came a letter from Clifford. He was evidently upset.
‘I am delighted to hear you are prepared to leave Venice on the sixteenth. But if you are enjoying it, don’t hurry home. We miss you, Wragby misses you. But it is essential that you should get your full amount of sunshine, sunshine and pyjamas, as the advertisements of the Lido say. So please do stay on a little longer, if it is cheering you up and preparing you for our sufficiently awful winter. Even today, it rains.
‘I am assiduously, admirably looked after by Mrs Bolton. She is a queer specimen. The more I live, the more I realize what strange creatures human beings are. Some of them might just as well have a hundred legs, like a centipede, or six, like a lobster. The human consistency and dignity one has been led to expect from one’s fellow-men seem actually nonexistent. One doubts if they exist to any startling degree even in oneself.
‘The scandal of the keeper continues and gets bigger like a snowball. Mrs Bolton keeps me informed. She reminds me of a fish which, though dumb, seems to be breathing silent gossip through its gills, while ever it lives. All goes through the sieve of her gills, and nothing surprises her. It is as if the events of other people’s lives were the necessary oxygen of her own.
‘She is preoccupied with the Mellors scandal, and if I will let her begin, she takes me down to the depths. Her great indignation, which even then is like the indignation of an actress playing a role, is against the wife of Mellors, whom she persists in calling Bertha Coutts. I have been to the depths of the muddy lives of the Bertha Couttses of this world, and when, released from the current of gossip, I slowly rise to the surface again, I look at the daylight in wonder that it ever should be.
‘It seems to me absolutely true, that our world, which appears to us the surface of all things, is really the BOTTOM of a deep ocean: all our trees are submarine growths, and we are weird, scaly-clad submarine fauna, feeding ourselves on offal like shrimps. Only occasionally the soul rises gasping through the fathomless fathoms under which we live, far up to the surface of the ether, where there is true air. I am convinced that the air we normally breathe is a kind of water, and men and women are a species of fish.
‘But sometimes the soul does come up, shoots like a kittiwake into the light, with ecstasy, after having preyed on the submarine depths. It is our mortal destiny, I suppose, to prey upon the ghastly subaqueous life of our fellow-men, in the submarine jungle of mankind. But our immortal destiny is to escape, once we have swallowed our swimmy catch, up again into the bright ether, bursting out from the surface of Old Ocean into real light. Then one realizes one’s eternal nature.
‘When I hear Mrs Bolton talk, I feel myself plunging down, down, to the depths where the fish of human secrets wriggle and swim. Carnal appetite makes one seize a beakful of prey: then up, up again, out of the dense into the ethereal, from the wet into the dry. To you I can tell the whole process. But with Mrs Bolton I only feel the downward plunge, down, horribly, among the sea-weeds and the pallid monsters of the very bottom.
‘I am afraid we are going to lose our game-keeper. The scandal of the truant wife, instead of dying down, has reverberated to greater and greater dimensions. He is accused of all unspeakable things and curiously enough, the woman has managed to get the bulk of the colliers’ wives behind her, gruesome fish, and the village is putrescent with talk.
‘I hear this Bertha Coutts besieges Mellors in his mother’s house, having ransacked the cottage and the hut. She seized one day upon her own daughter, as that chip of the female block was returning from school; but the little one, instead of kissing the loving mother’s hand, bit it firmly, and so received from the other hand a smack in the face which sent her reeling into the gutter: whence she was rescued by an indignant and harassed grandmother.
‘The woman has blown off an amazing quantity of poison-gas. She has aired in detail all those incidents of her conjugal life which are usually buried down in the deepest grave of matrimonial silence, between married couples. Having chosen to exhume them, after ten years of burial, she has a weird array. I hear these details from Linley and the doctor: the latter being amused. Of course there is really nothing in it. Humanity has always had a strange avidity for unusual sexual postures, and if a man likes to use his wife, as Benvenuto Cellini says, ‘in the Italian way’, well that is a matter of taste. But I had hardly expected our game-keeper to be up to so many tricks. No doubt Bertha Coutts herself first put him up to them. In any case, it is a matter of their own personal squalor, and nothing to do with anybody else. [...]
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