1.3 兩人 tī Cambridge 相捌

1.3 Nn̄g lâng ti Cambridge sio-bat

Chin bêng-hián, in kāng-khoán mā siū tio̍h ài ê sé-lé: its* ū jio̍k-thé ê keng-giām. Sîn-kî ê sī, ū chi̍t-chióng kî-miāu, bêng-hián ê piàn-hòa hoat-seng tī cha-po͘ kap cha-bó͘ ê sin-khu: cha-bó͘ piàn khah phòng-phôe, khah hong-boán, siàu-lú ê chho͘ sòaⁿ-tiâu piàn khah nńg-lio̍h, piáu-chêng nā m̄-sī hèng chhih-chhih, tō-sī chhèng kōa-kōa; cha-po͘ piàn khah tiām, khah chēng, keng-thâu kap kha-chhng piàn khah kiu, khah liap. [* its = iā-tō-sī]

Tī sèng hō͘ thé-lāi ê sóng nih, nn̄g chí-mōe hiám-á tō khut-ho̍k tī kî-miāu ê lâm-sèng khoân-ui. M̄-koh chin kín yin tō kā sóng tòng-chò chi̍t-chióng kám-kak, hôe-ho̍k ka-tī ê chū-iû. Cha-po͘ neh, ūi-tio̍h kám-siā cha-bó͘ hō͘ in sèng ê keng-giām, tō kā lêng-hûn kau hō͘ cha-bó͘. Āu-lâi, in tō hoat-kak ná chhin-chhiūⁿ khioh gō͘-kak, lak chi̍t-kho͘. Connie ê lâm-pêng-iú tō sió-khóa àu-bīn, Hilda ê tō sió-khóa gê-siâu. M̄-koh, cha-po͘ lóng mā sī án-ne ah! M̄-chai thang kam-un, mā éng-oán bē boán-chiok. Lí m̄-chhap in ê sî, in chheh lí, in-ūi lí m̄-chhap in; lí chiap-siū in ê sî, in koh ū pa̍t-hāng lí-iû lâi chheh lí, sīm-chì bô siáⁿ lí-iû. Chóng-kóng, in sī bē boán-chiok ê gín-á, m̄-koán tit-tio̍h siáⁿ, cha-bó͘ chhòng siáⁿ, in lóng bē moá-ì.

Put-jî-kò, chiàn-cheng po̍k-hoat, Hilda kap Connie koh kóaⁿ-kín tńg-chhù, tī gō͘-goe̍h yin mā ū tńg-kòe, hit-sî sī ūi-tio̍h lāu-bú ê song-sū. Kàu 1914 nî Kitok-seⁿ, yin ê Tek-kok lâm-iú lóng sí ah: sui-bóng yin tōa khàu, mā chin ài lâm-iú, lāi-sim khiok kā pàng bē-kì. In í-keng lóng bô tī leh ah.

Nn̄g chí-mōe lóng tòa tī Kensington yin lāu-pē ê chhù, kî-si̍t sī lāu-bú ê, hām Cambridge phài ê siàu-liân óng-lâi; hiah-ê lâng chi-chhî "chū-iû", sin-chhēng jiông-á khò͘ kap niá hiàn tī ām-kún ê jiông-á siatchuh, sī kám-chêng hòng-jīm ê siōng-liû lâng, kóng-ōe khin-siaⁿ sè-soeh, koh chiâⁿ káng-kiù lé-gî. M̄-koh, Hilda hut-jiân hām chi̍t-ê lāu i cha̍p hòe ê cha-po͘ kiat-hun, mā sī Cambridge phài ê sêng-oân, chhù-nih chám-jiân ū-chîⁿ, koh tī chèng-hú chia̍h khin-khó ê thâu-lō͘, i mā ē siá tiat-ha̍k-te̍k ê bûn-chiuⁿ. Hilda kap i tòa tī Westminster ê chi̍t keng sió chhù, hām hiah-ê tī chèng-hú nih ê siā-hōe jîn-sū kau-óng, hiah-ê sui-jiân m̄-sī téng-thâu lâng, m̄-koh lóng sī, a̍h ē-sī, kok-lāi ū khoân-ui ê tì-sek hūn-chú: chiah-ê lâng lóng chai in teh kóng ê sī siáⁿ, a̍h-sī ké-sian in chai.

Connie ū chi̍t-ê chiàn-sî ê khin-sang khang-khòe, kap hit tīn chóng-sī sū-sū ài khau-siah, chhēng jiông-á khò͘ ê Cambridge sí-tóng ū óng-lâi. Yi ū chi̍t ê "pêng-iú" kiò chò Clifford Chatterley. Chit ê 22 hòe ê chheng-liân pún-chiâⁿ tī Bonn o̍h chhái-khòng ki-sut, tú-tú kóaⁿ tńg-lâi chhù-nih. Chá-chêng i bat tī Cambridge tha̍k nn̄g nî. Taⁿ i í-keng sī sin-phài chèng-hú tông-tông ê lio̍k-kun tiong-ùi, sin-chhēng kun-ho̍k, i koh-khah ē-tàng khau-sé ta̍k-hāng mi̍h-kiāⁿ.

Clifford Chatterley ê siā-hōe kai-kip pí Connie khah koân. Connie sio̍k tiong-chân ê tì-sek kai-kip, m̄-koh yin lâm-iú sī kùi-cho̍k. Sui-bóng m̄-sī tōa kùi-cho̍k, chóng-sī kùi-cho̍k. In lāu-pē sī lâm-chiok, lāu-bú sī chú-chiok ê cha-bó͘-kiáⁿ.

Clifford sui-jiân pí Connie chhut-sin khah hó, khah sio̍k "siōng-liû", m̄-koh i ê kiâⁿ-ta̍h soah khah chāi-tē, khah bô-táⁿ. Tī i ka-tī sió-sió ê "tōa sè-kài" nih, iā tō-sī tī chāi-tē kùi-cho̍k ko͘-á lāi-té, i ē chin chū-chāi, m̄-koh nā tī pau-hâm tōa-liōng tiong-chân, kē-chân, hām gōa-kok lâng ê tōa sè-kài tiong-kan, i tō bīn-phôe-po̍h, sîn-keng-chit. Kóng si̍t-chāi, i m̄-káⁿ bīn-tùi tiong-hā kai-kip ê bîn-chiòng, a̍h-sī kap i bô kāng kai-kip ê gōa-kok lâng. Ná chhiūⁿ sit khì lêng-le̍k kāng-khoán, i ē kám-kak ka-tī bô pó-chiong, sui-bóng i iáu-sī ū te̍k-khoân ê pó-hō͘. Che sui-jiân kî-koài, khiok sī tong-kim siā-hōe ê hiān-siōng.

In-ūi án-ne, chhiūⁿ Constance Reid chit-khoán ko͘-niû te̍k-iú ê iu-ngá chū-chāi, soah khì bê tio̍h i. Tī hit-chióng ho̍k-cha̍p ê gōa-chāi sè-kài, chit-ê ko͘-niû pí Clifford koh-khah chū-jiân, chāi-táⁿ.

M̄-koh, Clifford mā sī hoán-ku̍t, i sīm-chì hoán-pōe i ka-tī ê kai-kip. Khó-lêng "hoán-pōe" chit-ê jī-gán siuⁿ giâm-siok, siuⁿ giâm-tiōng. I chí sī tòe tio̍h it-poaⁿ ê siàu-liân lâng hoán-tùi thoân-thóng, hoán-tùi khoân-ui niā-niā. Téng-pòe lóng chin hó-chhiò, in hit-ê kó͘-pán lāu-pē koh-khah sī án-ne. Chèng-hú ki-koan lóng chin hó-chhiò, lán chit-ê bô koat-toān ê chèng-hú koh-khah sī án-ne. Kun-tūi lóng chin hó-chhiò, hiah-ê lāu chiong-kun koh-khah sī án-ne, âng-bīn ê Kitchener tē-it-miâ. Sīm-chì chiàn-cheng mā hó-chhiò, sui-bóng he thâi-sí chē-chē lâng.

Sū-si̍t siōng, ta̍k-hāng lóng ū tām-po̍h hó-chhiò, a̍h-sī chin hó-chhiò, jīm-hô khan-sia̍p tio̍h khoân-ui, m̄-koán sī kun-tūi a̍h chèng-hú a̍h tāi-ha̍k, lóng ke-kiám chin hó-chhiò. Piān-nā thóng-tī kai-kip ke-sian teh thóng-tī, in mā chin hó-chhiò. Clifford ê lāu-pē, Geoffrey Sià iû-kî sī hó-chhiò, kā lîm-tiûⁿ ê chhiū-á chhò-chhò leh, kiò thòaⁿ-khang nih ê sin-lô kā he sàng khì chiàn-tiûⁿ; án-ne i ka-tī chin an-choân koh chin ài-kok; m̄-koh i koan hō͘ kok-ka ê chîⁿ pí i thàn ê khah chē.

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1.3 兩人 tī Cambridge 相捌

真明顯, in 仝款 mā 受著愛 ê 洗禮: 也 tō 是有肉體 ê 經驗. 神奇 ê 是, 有一種奇妙, 明顯 ê 變化發生 tī 查埔 kap 查某 ê 身軀: 查某變較膨皮, 較豐滿, 少女 ê 粗線條變較軟略, 表情 nā 毋是興 chhih-chhih, tō 是衝 kōa-kōa; 查埔變較恬, 較靜, 肩頭 kap 尻川變較 kiu, 較 liap.

Tī 性予體內 ê 爽 nih, 兩姊妹險仔 tō 屈服 tī 奇妙 ê 男性權威. 毋過真緊姻 tō kā 爽當做一種感覺, 回復家己 ê 自由. 查埔 neh, 為著感謝查某予 in 性 ê 經驗, tō kā 靈魂交予查某. 後來, in tō 發覺 ná 親像抾五角, 落一箍. Connie ê 男朋友 tō 小可 àu 面, Hilda ê tō 小可 gê-siâu. 毋過, 查埔攏 mā 是 án-ne ah! 毋知通感恩, mā 永遠袂滿足. 你毋 chhap in ê 時, in 慼你, 因為你毋 chhap in; 你接受 in ê 時, in koh 有別項理由來慼你, 甚至無啥理由. 總講, in 是袂滿足 ê 囡仔, 毋管得著啥, 查某創啥, in 攏袂滿意.

不而過, 戰爭爆發, Hilda kap Connie koh 趕緊轉厝, tī 五月姻 mā 有轉過, 彼時是為著老母 ê 喪事. 到 1914 年基督生, 姻 ê 德國男友攏死 ah: 雖罔姻大哭, mā 真愛男友, 內心卻 kā 放袂記. In 已經攏無 tī leh ah.

兩姊妹攏蹛 tī Kensington 姻老爸 ê 厝, 其實是老母 ê, 和 Cambridge 派 ê 少年往來; hiah-ê 人支持 "自由", 身穿絨仔褲 kap 領現 tī 頷頸 ê 絨仔 siatchuh, 是感情放任 ê 上流人, 講話輕聲細說, koh 誠講究禮儀. 毋過, Hilda 忽然和一个老她十歲 ê 查埔結婚, mā 是 Cambridge 派 ê 成員, 厝 nih 嶄然有錢, koh tī 政府食輕可 ê 頭路, 伊 mā 會寫哲學的 ê 文章. Hilda kap 伊蹛 tī Westminster ê 一間小厝, 和 hiah-ê tī 政府 nih ê 社會人士交往, hiah-ê 雖然毋是頂頭人, 毋過攏是, 抑會是, 國內有權威 ê 智識份子: chiah-ê 人攏知 in teh 講 ê 是啥, 抑是假仙 in 知.

Connie 有一个戰時 ê 輕鬆 khang-khòe, kap 彼 tīn 總是事事愛剾削, 穿絨仔褲 ê Cambridge 死黨有往來. 她有一个 "朋友" 叫做 Clifford Chatterley. 這个 22 歲 ê 青年本成 tī Bonn 學採礦技術, 拄拄趕轉來厝 nih. 早前伊 bat tī Cambridge 讀兩年. 今伊已經是堂堂陸軍中尉, 身穿軍服, 伊 koh 較會當剾洗逐項物件.

Clifford Chatterley ê 社會階級比 Connie 較懸. Connie 屬中層 ê 智識階級, 毋過姻男友是貴族. 雖罔毋是大貴族, 總是貴族. In 老爸是男爵, 老母是子爵 ê 查某囝.

Clifford 雖然比 Connie 出身較好, 較屬 "上流", 毋過伊 ê 行踏煞較在地, 較無膽. Tī 伊家己小小 ê "大世界" nih, 也 tō 是 tī 在地貴族箍仔內底, 伊會真自在, 毋過 nā tī 包含大量中層, 低層, 和外國人 ê 大世界中間, 伊 tō 面皮薄, 神經質. 講實在, 伊 m̄-káⁿ 面對中下階級 ê 民眾, 抑是 kap 伊無仝階級 ê 外國人. Ná 像失去能力仝款, 伊會感覺家己無保障, 雖罔伊猶是有特權 ê 保護. 這雖然奇怪, 卻是當今社會 ê 現象.

因為 án-ne, 像 Constance Reid 這款姑娘特有 ê 優雅自在, 煞去迷著伊. Tī 彼種複雜 ê 外在世界, 這个姑娘比 Clifford koh 較自然, 在膽.

毋過, Clifford mā 是反骨, 伊甚至反背家己 ê 階級. 可能 "反背" 這个字眼 siuⁿ 嚴肅, siuⁿ 嚴重. 伊只是綴著一般 ê 少年人反對傳統, 反對權威 niā-niā. 頂輩攏真好笑, in hit-ê 古板老爸 koh 較是 án-ne. 政府機關攏真好笑, 咱 chit-ê 無決斷 ê 政府 koh 較是 án-ne. 軍隊攏真好笑, hiah-ê 老將軍 koh 較是 án-ne, 紅面 ê Kitchener 第一名. 甚至戰爭 mā 好笑, 雖罔彼刣死濟濟人.

事實上, 逐項攏有淡薄好笑, 抑是真好笑, 任何牽涉著權威, 毋管是軍隊 a̍h 政府 a̍h 大學, 攏加減真好笑. 便若統治階級假仙 teh 統治, in mā 真好笑. Clifford ê 老爸, Geoffrey Sià 尤其是好笑, kā 林場 ê 樹仔剉剉 leh, 叫炭空 nih ê 辛勞 kā 彼送去戰場; án-ne 伊家己真安全 koh 真愛國; 毋過伊捐予國家 ê 錢比伊趁 ê 較濟.

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1.3

It was obvious in them too that love had gone through them: that is, the physical experience. It is curious what a subtle but unmistakable transmutation it makes, both in the body of men and women: the woman more blooming, more subtly rounded, her young angularities softened, and her expression either anxious or triumphant: the man much quieter, more inward, the very shapes of his shoulders and his buttocks less assertive, more hesitant.

In the actual sex-thrill within the body, the sisters nearly succumbed to the strange male power. But quickly they recovered themselves, took the sex-thrill as a sensation, and remained free. Whereas the men, in gratitude to the woman for the sex experience, let their souls go out to her. And afterwards looked rather as if they had lost a shilling and found sixpence. Connie's man could be a bit sulky, and Hilda's a bit jeering. But that is how men are! Ungrateful and never satisfied. When you don't have them they hate you because you won't; and when you do have them they hate you again, for some other reason. Or for no reason at all, except that they are discontented children, and can't be satisfied whatever they get, let a woman do what she may.

However, came the war, Hilda and Connie were rushed home again after having been home already in May, to their mother's funeral. Before Christmas of 1914 both their German young men were dead: whereupon the sisters wept, and loved the young men passionately, but underneath forgot them. They didn't exist any more.

Both sisters lived in their father's, really their mother's, Kensington house mixed with the young Cambridge group, the group that stood for 'freedom' and flannel trousers, and flannel shirts open at the neck, and a well-bred sort of emotional anarchy, and a whispering, murmuring sort of voice, and an ultra-sensitive sort of manner. Hilda, however, suddenly married a man ten years older than herself, an elder member of the same Cambridge group, a man with a fair amount of money, and a comfortable family job in the government: he also wrote philosophical essays. She lived with him in a smallish house in Westminster, and moved in that good sort of society of people in the government who are not tip-toppers, but who are, or would be, the real intelligent power in the nation: people who know what they're talking about, or talk as if they did.

Connie did a mild form of war-work, and consorted with the flannel-trousers Cambridge intransigents, who gently mocked at everything, so far. Her 'friend' was a Clifford Chatterley, a young man of twenty-two, who had hurried home from Bonn, where he was studying the technicalities of coal-mining. He had previously spent two years at Cambridge. Now he had become a first lieutenant in a smart regiment, so he could mock at everything more becomingly in uniform.

Clifford Chatterley was more upper-class than Connie. Connie was well-to-do intelligentsia, but he was aristocracy. Not the big sort, but still it. His father was a baronet, and his mother had been a viscount's daughter.

But Clifford, while he was better bred than Connie, and more 'society', was in his own way more provincial and more timid. He was at his ease in the narrow 'great world', that is, landed aristocracy society, but he was shy and nervous of all that other big world which consists of the vast hordes of the middle and lower classes, and foreigners. If the truth must be told, he was just a little bit frightened of middle- and lower-class humanity, and of foreigners not of his own class. He was, in some paralysing way, conscious of his own defencelessness, though he had all the defence of privilege. Which is curious, but a phenomenon of our day.

Therefore the peculiar soft assurance of a girl like Constance Reid fascinated him. She was so much more mistress of herself in that outer world of chaos than he was master of himself.

Nevertheless he too was a rebel: rebelling even against his class. Or perhaps rebel is too strong a word; far too strong. He was only caught in the general, popular recoil of the young against convention and against any sort of real authority. Fathers were ridiculous: his own obstinate one supremely so. And governments were ridiculous: our own wait-and-see sort especially so. And armies were ridiculous, and old buffers of generals altogether, the red-faced Kitchener supremely. Even the war was ridiculous, though it did kill rather a lot of people.

In fact everything was a little ridiculous, or very ridiculous: certainly everything connected with authority, whether it were in the army or the government or the universities, was ridiculous to a degree. And as far as the governing class made any pretensions to govern, they were ridiculous too. Sir Geoffrey, Clifford's father, was intensely ridiculous, chopping down his trees, and weeding men out of his colliery to shove them into the war; and himself being so safe and patriotic; but, also, spending more money on his country than he'd got.

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