3.2 Michaelis 予她誠好奇

3.2 Michaelis hō͘ yi chiâⁿ hòⁿ-kî

Put-jî-kò, chit chiah Dublin cha̍p-chéng-káu chhōa chi̍t ê ka-po̍k, sái súi chhia sì-kè lí-hêng.

I mā ū hō͘ Connie kah-ì ê só͘-chāi. I bē kek-khùi, mā tùi ka-tī bô hoàn-sióng. Clifford siūⁿ-boeh chai ê tāi-chì, i lóng ē kā kóng kah chin ū-lí, kán-iàu, koh si̍t-iōng. I bē phòng-hong a̍h-sī sái-phiah. I chai, lâng iau-chhiáⁿ i lâi Wragby sī boeh lī-iōng i, tō ná chhiūⁿ láu-liān, cheng-bêng, léng-chēng ê seng-lí-lâng, a̍h-sī tōa thâu-ke, i chiap-siū lâng mn̄g kok-chióng būn-tê, koh chīn-liōng kā só͘ chai, só͘ siūⁿ ê lóng the̍h lâi hôe-tap.

"Kim-chîⁿ!" i kóng. "Kim-chîⁿ sī chi̍t-chióng pún-sèng. Lâng thàn-chîⁿ mā sī chi̍t-chióng pún-lêng. M̄-sī lí án-chóaⁿ chò, án-chóaⁿ chhòng-pō͘. I sī lí ê pún-sèng chah-lâi ê ki-ūn; lí chi̍t khai-sí, chîⁿ tō lâi, it-ti̍t lâi; it-ti̍t kàu bó͘ chi̍t ê thêng-tō͘, góa siūⁿ sī án-ne."

"M̄-koh, chóng ū chi̍t ê khí-tiám," Clifford kóng.

"Oh, tio̍h! Lí tio̍h ji̍p-khì. Tī gōa-kháu lí siáⁿ to tit bē-tio̍h. Lí tio̍h chhōe lō͘ ji̍p-khì. Chhōe tio̍h liáu, tō chū-jiân chìn-hêng ah."

"M̄-koh, tî-liáu kio̍k-pún, iáu ū siáⁿ thàn-chîⁿ ê hong-hoat?" Clifford mn̄g.

"Oh, tāi-khài bô lah! Góa khó-lêng sī hó chok-ka, a̍h-sī bái chok-ka, m̄-koh taⁿ góa sī kio̍k-pún chok-ka, góa tiāⁿ-tio̍h ài chiâⁿ-chò che. Che sī chin khak-tēng."

"Só͘-í, lí siūⁿ kóng, lí tiāⁿ-tio̍h ài chiâⁿ-chò liû-hêng kio̍k-pún ê chok-ka?" Connie mn̄g.

"Tio̍h, tio̍h!" i ná kóng, ná bīn âng, oa̍t hiòng Connie. "He bô siáⁿ! Liû-hêng pēng bô siáⁿ. Sīm-chì tāi-chiòng mā bô siáⁿ. Góa ê kio̍k-pún lāi-té pēng bô siáⁿ thang hō͘ i sî-kiâⁿ. Bô siáⁿ. He tō ná thiⁿ-khì... eng-kai án-chóaⁿ tō án-chóaⁿ... chiū gán-chêng lâi khòaⁿ sī án-ne."

I gia̍h-ba̍k khòaⁿ Connie, ba̍k-chiu tōng-chok bān, chám-jiân îⁿ, it-ti̍t lóng chìm tī bô-té ê hoàn-bia̍t, Connie sió-khóa chhoah chi̍t-ē. I khòaⁿ khí-lâi hiah lāu... lāu kah bô-té, ná-chhiūⁿ kúi-nā tē-lâng iōng hoàn-bia̍t thia̍p khí-lâi ê, ná tē-chân kāng-khoán; m̄-koh tông-sî i koh ko͘-to̍k kah ná chi̍t ê gín-á. Tī bó͘-chióng ì-gī, ná hō͘ siā-hōe hìⁿ-sak ê lâng; m̄-koh i khiok chhiūⁿ niáu-chhí piàⁿ-miā ióng-kám oa̍h tio̍h.

"Siōng-bô, tī lí chit ê nî-kí ū chit-khoán sêng-chiū sī kiaⁿ-lâng ê," Clifford ná siūⁿ ná kóng.

"Góa 30... tio̍h, góa 30 hòe lah!" Michaelis hut-jiân pàng-siaⁿ kóng, ná koài-koài teh chhiò; sī khang-khak, tek-ì, koh ū khó͘-bī ê chhiò.

"Lí iáu to̍k-sin sioh?" Connie mn̄g.

"Che siáⁿ ì-sù? Góa sī-m̄-sī ka-tī seng-oa̍h? Góa ū ka-po̍k. I kóng i sī Hi-lia̍p lâng, chò-tāi-chì han-bān. M̄-koh góa iáu iōng i. Góa tit-boeh kiat-hun lah. Oh, tio̍h, góa tio̍h kiat-hun."

"Thiaⁿ khí-lâi ná chhiūⁿ boeh kòa píⁿ-thô-sòaⁿ," Connie chhiò. "Che kám ū khùn-lân?"

I iōng him-siān ê gán-sîn khòaⁿ Connie. "Sī ah, Chatterley Hu-jîn, sī ū khùn-lân! Góa kám-kak... pháiⁿ-sè... góa kám-kak, góa bô hoat-tō͘ kap England cha-bó͘, sīm-chì Irland cha-bó͘ kiat-hun..."

"Án-ne tō chhōa Bí-kok lâng," Clifford kóng.

"Oh, Bí-kok lâng!" i koh khang-khak chhiò. "M̄, góa í-keng kiò ka-po̍k thè góa chhōe Turki a̍h-sī pa̍t-khoán... khah óa Tang-hong ê cha-bó͘."

Chit ê ku-koài, ut-chut, tōa-tōa sêng-kong ê lâng, chin-chiàⁿ hō͘ Connie kám-kak hòⁿ-kî; thiaⁿ kóng, kan-ta ùi Bí-kok i chi̍t nî tō ū 5 bān Bí-kim ê siu-ji̍p. Ū-sî, i chin iân-tâu: tng i hiòng piⁿ-á, khòaⁿ ē-bīn, nā ū kng-sòaⁿ chiò tio̍h, i ê an-chēng, nāi-khòaⁿ ê súi tō ná chhiūⁿ-gê tiau-khek ê O͘-lâng bīn-khak, ba̍k-chiu phok-phok, chho͘ koh khiau ê ba̍k-bâi, tiām-chēng ha̍p-ân ê chhùi; hit ê chi̍t-sî hián-sī chhut-lâi ê tiām-chēng, sī Hu̍t-tô͘ só͘ tui-kiû ê tiām-chēng kap éng-hêng, m̄-koh O͘-lâng bián tui-kiû tō ē piáu-ta̍t chhut-lâi; sī in chéng-cho̍k lāi-té bó͘-chióng chin kó͘-ló ê jīn-miā! Sè-sè tāi-tāi, chéng-cho̍k miā-ūn lāi-té ê jīn-miā, bô chhiūⁿ lán ê kò-pia̍t hoán-khòng. Chū án-ne, in tō ná niáu-chhí, tī o͘-àm ê khe-lâu siû-ah-siû, siû kòe-khì. Connie kám-kak tùi Michaelis ū chi̍t-chióng hut-jiân, kî-koài ê tông-chêng, tông-chêng lāi-té ū koan-sim, koh sió-khóa ū hoán-kám, ke-ke kiám-kiám chiong-kīn sī ài-chêng ah. Gōa-lâng! Gōa-lâng! Lâng-lâng kiò i chháu-pau! M̄-koh Clifford khòaⁿ khí-lâi koh-khah chháu-pau, koh-khah ké-gâu! Koh-khah pn̄g-tháng!

Michaelis má-siōng chai-iáⁿ, Connie tùi i ū hó-kám. I iōng phok-phok, chang-sek ê ba̍k-chiu lia̍h Connie lió chi̍t-ē, kó͘-kè Connie tùi i ê hó-kám ū gōa chhim. Hām England lâng chò-hóe, i sī éng-oán ê gōa-lâng, sīm-chì ū ài-chêng mā bô-hāu. M̄-koh, cha-bó͘-lâng ū-sî ē saⁿh-tio̍h i... England cha-bó͘ mā kāng-khoán.

I chheng-chhó chai-iáⁿ i kap Clifford ê koan-hē. In ná nn̄g chiah chheⁿ-hūn káu, pún-chiâⁿ tio̍h ài sio-pūi, put-tek-í soah lóng kek chhiò-bīn. M̄-koh tùi chit ê cha-bó͘, i khiok bô khak-tēng.

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3.2 Michaelis 予她誠好奇

不而過, 這隻 Dublin 雜種狗 chhōa 一个家僕, 駛媠車四界旅行.

伊 mā 有予 Connie 佮意 ê 所在. 伊袂激氣, mā 對家己無幻想. Clifford 想欲知 ê 代誌, 伊攏會 kā 講甲真有理, 簡要, koh 實用. 伊袂膨風抑是使癖. 伊知, 人邀請伊來 Wragby 是欲利用伊, tō ná 像老練, 精明, 冷靜 ê 生理人, 抑是大頭家, 伊接受人問各種問題, koh 盡量 kā 所知, 所想 ê 攏提來回答.

"金錢!" 伊講. "金錢是一種本性. 人趁錢 mā 是一種本能. 毋是你按怎做, 按怎創步. 伊是你 ê 本性扎來 ê 機運; 你一開始, 錢 tō 來, 一直來; 一直到某一个程度, 我想是 án-ne."

"毋過, 總有一个起點," Clifford 講.

"Oh, 著! 你著入去. Tī 外口你啥都得袂著. 你著揣路入去. 揣著了, tō 自然進行 ah."

"毋過, 除了劇本, 猶有啥趁錢 ê 方法?" Clifford 問.

"Oh, 大概無 lah! 我可能是好作家, 抑是䆀作家, 毋過今我是劇本作家, 我定著愛成做這. 這是真確定."

"所以, 你想講, 你定著愛成做流行劇本 ê 作家?" Connie 問.

"著, 著!" 伊 ná 講, ná 面紅, 越向 Connie. "彼無啥! 流行並無啥. 甚至大眾 mā 無啥. 我 ê 劇本內底並無啥通予伊時行. 無啥. 彼 tō ná 天氣... 應該按怎 tō 按怎... 就眼前來看是 án-ne."

伊攑目看 Connie, 目睭動作慢, 嶄然圓, 一直攏浸 tī 無底 ê 幻滅, Connie 小可掣一下. 伊看起來 hiah 老... 老甲無底, ná 像幾若代人用幻滅疊起來 ê, ná 地層仝款; 毋過同時伊 koh 孤獨甲 ná 一个囡仔. Tī 某種意義, ná 予社會 hìⁿ-sak ê 人; 毋過伊卻像鳥鼠拚命勇敢活著.

"上無, tī 你這个年紀有這款成就是驚人 ê," Clifford ná 想 ná 講.

"我 30... 著, 我 30 歲 lah!" Michaelis 忽然放聲講, ná 怪怪 teh 笑; 是空殼, 得意, koh 有苦味 ê 笑.

"你猶獨身 sioh?" Connie 問.

"這啥意思? 我是毋是家己生活? 我有家僕. 伊講伊是希臘人, 做代誌 han-bān. 毋過我猶用伊. 我得欲結婚 lah. Oh, 著, 我著結婚."

"聽起來 ná 像欲割扁桃腺," Connie 笑. "這敢有困難?"

伊用欣羨 ê 眼神看 Connie. "是 ah, Chatterley 夫人, 是有困難! 我感覺... 歹勢... 我感覺, 我無法度 kap England 查某, 甚至 Irland 查某結婚..."

"Án-ne tō 娶美國人," Clifford 講.

"Oh, 美國人!" 伊 koh 空殼笑. "毋, 我已經叫家僕替我揣 Turki 抑是別款... 較倚東方 ê 查某."

這个龜怪, 鬱卒, 大大成功 ê 人, 真正予 Connie 感覺好奇; 聽講, 干焦 ùi 美國伊一年 tō 有 5 萬美金 ê 收入. 有時, 伊真緣投: 當伊向邊仔, 看下面, nā 有光線照著, 伊 ê 安靜, 耐看 ê 媠 tō ná 象牙雕刻 ê 烏人面殼, 目睭 phok-phok, 粗 koh 曲 ê 目眉, 恬靜合絚 ê 喙; 彼个一時顯示出來 ê 恬靜, 是佛陀所追求 ê 恬靜 kap 永恆, 毋過烏人免追求 tō 會表達出來; 是 in 種族內底某種真古老 ê 認命! 世世代代, 種族命運內底 ê 認命, 無像咱 ê 個別反抗. 自 án-ne, in tō ná 鳥鼠, tī 烏暗 ê 溪流泅 ah 泅, 泅過去. Connie 感覺對 Michaelis 有一種忽然, 奇怪 ê 同情, 同情內底有關心, koh 小可有反感, 加加減減將近是愛情 ah. 外人! 外人! 人人叫伊草包! 毋過 Clifford 看起來 koh 較草包, koh 較假 gâu! koh 較飯桶!

Michaelis 馬上知影, Connie 對伊有好感. 伊用 phok-phok, 棕色 ê 目睭掠 Connie 瞭一下, 估計 Connie 對伊 ê 好感有偌深. 和 England 人做伙, 伊是永遠 ê 外人, 甚至有愛情 mā 無效. 毋過, 查某人有時會 saⁿh 著伊... England 查某 mā 仝款.

伊清楚知影伊 kap Clifford ê 關係. In ná 兩隻生份狗, 本成著愛相吠, 不得已煞攏激笑面. 毋過對這个查某, 伊卻無確定.

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3.2

Nevertheless he travelled with his manservant and his very neat car, this Dublin mongrel.

There was something about him that Connie liked. He didn't put on airs to himself, he had no illusions about himself. He talked to Clifford sensibly, briefly, practically, about all the things Clifford wanted to know. He didn't expand or let himself go. He knew he had been asked down to Wragby to be made use of, and like an old, shrewd, almost indifferent business man, or big-business man, he let himself be asked questions, and he answered with as little waste of feeling as possible.

'Money!' he said. 'Money is a sort of instinct. It's a sort of property of nature in a man to make money. It's nothing you do. It's no trick you play. It's a sort of permanent accident of your own nature; once you start, you make money, and you go on; up to a point, I suppose.'

'But you've got to begin,' said Clifford.

'Oh, quite! You've got to get in. You can do nothing if you are kept outside. You've got to beat your way in. Once you've done that, you can't help it.'

'But could you have made money except by plays?' asked Clifford.

'Oh, probably not! I may be a good writer or I may be a bad one, but a writer and a writer of plays is what I am, and I've got to be. There's no question of that.'

'And you think it's a writer of popular plays that you've got to be?' asked Connie.

'There, exactly!' he said, turning to her in a sudden flash. 'There's nothing in it! There's nothing in popularity. There's nothing in the public, if it comes to that. There's nothing really in my plays to make them popular. It's not that. They just are like the weather… the sort that will have to be… for the time being.'

He turned his slow, rather full eyes, that had been drowned in such fathomless disillusion, on Connie, and she trembled a little. He seemed so old… endlessly old, built up of layers of disillusion, going down in him generation after generation, like geological strata; and at the same time he was forlorn like a child. An outcast, in a certain sense; but with the desperate bravery of his rat-like existence.

'At least it's wonderful what you've done at your time of life,' said Clifford contemplatively.

'I'm thirty… yes, I'm thirty!' said Michaelis, sharply and suddenly, with a curious laugh; hollow, triumphant, and bitter.

'And are you alone?' asked Connie.

'How do you mean? Do I live alone? I've got my servant. He's a Greek, so he says, and quite incompetent. But I keep him. And I'm going to marry. Oh, yes, I must marry.'

'It sounds like going to have your tonsils cut,' laughed Connie. 'Will it be an effort?'

He looked at her admiringly. 'Well, Lady Chatterley, somehow it will! I find… excuse me… I find I can't marry an Englishwoman, not even an Irishwoman….'

'Try an American,' said Clifford.

'Oh, American!' He laughed a hollow laugh. 'No, I've asked my man if he will find me a Turk or something… something nearer to the Oriental.'

Connie really wondered at this queer, melancholy specimen of extraordinary success; it was said he had an income of fifty thousand dollars from America alone. Sometimes he was handsome: sometimes as he looked sideways, downwards, and the light fell on him, he had the silent, enduring beauty of a carved ivory Negro mask, with his rather full eyes, and the strong queerly-arched brows, the immobile, compressed mouth; that momentary but revealed immobility, an immobility, a timelessness which the Buddha aims at, and which Negroes express sometimes without ever aiming at it; something old, old, and acquiescent in the race! Aeons of acquiescence in race destiny, instead of our individual resistance. And then a swimming through, like rats in a dark river. Connie felt a sudden, strange leap of sympathy for him, a leap mingled with compassion, and tinged with repulsion, amounting almost to love. The outsider! The outsider! And they called him a bounder! How much more bounderish and assertive Clifford looked! How much stupider!

Michaelis knew at once he had made an impression on her. He turned his full, hazel, slightly prominent eyes on her in a look of pure detachment. He was estimating her, and the extent of the impression he had made. With the English nothing could save him from being the eternal outsider, not even love. Yet women sometimes fell for him… Englishwomen too.

He knew just where he was with Clifford. They were two alien dogs which would have liked to snarl at one another, but which smiled instead, perforce. But with the woman he was not quite so sure.

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