6.5 Cha-po͘-lâng tī chhù-āu sé-tn̄g
Hit ê ìn-siōng chhim-chhim ta̍t-kàu Connie ê chú-kiong; yi chai-iáⁿ he chū án-ne tiâu tī hia. M̄-koh yi ê sim-nih soah kám-kak hó-chhiò. Cha-po͘-lâng tī chhù āu-bóe sé sin-khu! Tong-jiân sī iōng ū chhàu-bī ê n̂g-sek sap-bûn! Yi sió-khóa kám-kak thó-ià; sī án-chóaⁿ yi ē tú-tio̍h chit-chióng sông ê su-sū?
Yi bān-bān kiâⁿ khui, kòe chi̍t khùn, yi chiah chē lo̍h tī chi̍t ki chhâ-thâu. Yi ê sim chin loān, bô hoat-tō͘ siūⁿ. M̄-koh tī bê-loān tiong-kan, yi iáu sī koat-sim boeh kā Clifford ê ōe kóng hō͘ hit lâng thiaⁿ. Che yi bô tiû-tû. Yi tio̍h lâu sî-kan hō͘ hit lâng chhēng saⁿ, m̄-koh bē-sái hō͘ cháu chhut-khì. Hoan-sé i sī chún-pī boeh chhut-khì tó-ūi.
Yi koh bān-bān sàn-pō͘ kiâⁿ tò-tńg, chù-ì thiaⁿ. Yi kiâⁿ óa ê sî, chhun-sià iáu sī kāng-khoán. Ū káu teh pūi, yi khok-mn̂g, yi ê sim kìm-put-chū phi̍h-pho̍k thiàu.
Yi thiaⁿ tio̍h hit lâng lo̍h lâu-thui. I chin kín phah-khui mn̂g, hō͘ yi chhoah chi̍t tiô. I khòaⁿ khí-lâi mā ū chi̍t chióng put-an, m̄-koh sûi tō bīn chhiò-chhiò.
"Chatterley Hj!" i kóng. "Chhiáⁿ lí ji̍p-lâi, ho͘ⁿh?"
I ê kí-chí chin-chiàⁿ su-bûn koh chū-jiân, yi hoa̍h kòe hō͘-tēng, chìn-ji̍p he sió-khóa ak-chak ê chhù-lāi.
"Góa lâi, sī Clifford Sià ū ōe boeh hoan-hù," yi iōng jiû-jiû, sió-khóa chiap bē-chiūⁿ khùi ê siaⁿ kóng.
Hit lâng iōng i he nâ-sek, kim-sih-sih ê ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ yi, hō͘ yi soah kā bīn sió-khóa oa̍t khui. Yi ê phái-sé, hō͘ i kám-kak yi chin kó͘-chui, mā ē-sái kóng sī súi, chū án-ne, chit ê tiûⁿ-bīn sûi iû i chú-tō.
"Chhiáⁿ lí hia chē, hó-m̄?" i mn̄g, sim siūⁿ kóng yi bē chē. Mn̂g iáu khui-khui.
"Góa m̄ chē, to-siā! Clifford Sià boeh chai, lí sī m̄-sī..." yi ná kóng kau-tài ê ōe, ná put-ti-put-kak koh khòaⁿ i ê ba̍k-chiu. Taⁿ i ê ba̍k-chiu un-loán koh jîn-chû, tùi cha-bó͘ lâi khòaⁿ koh-khah sī kî-miâu ê un-loán koh jîn-chû, jî-chhiáⁿ chin chū-jiân.
"Chin hó, Hu-jîn. Góa ē sûi khì hoa̍t-lo̍h."
Thiaⁿ hoan-hù ê sî, i kui-ê lâng lóng bô-kāng ah, hián-chhut chi̍t chióng kian-tēng, léng-tām ê sîn-thài. Connie tiû-tû chi̍t-ē, taⁿ yi tio̍h lī-khui. M̄-koh yi ná-chhiūⁿ bô-nāi-hô, kā chit ê chheng-khì, chéng-chê, koh sió-khóa ak-chak ê kheh-thiaⁿ khòaⁿ-khòaⁿ leh.
"Lí ka-tī chi̍t ê tòa chia?" yi mn̄g.
"Sī ah, Hu-jîn, ka-tī chi̍t ê."
"M̄-koh, lín lāu-bú neh...?"
"Yi tī chng nih tòa tī yi ka-tī ê chhun-sià."
"Hām gín-á tâng-chê?" Connie mn̄g.
"Hām gín-á tâng-chê!"
I he pêng-hoân, hong-song ê bīn chhut chi̍t chióng ná ū ná bô ê lāng-gê piáu-chêng. Chit ê bīn put-sî teh piàn, lia̍h lóng bô.
"M̄-koh," khòaⁿ tio̍h Connie bô liáu-kái, i koh kóng, "goán lāu-bú pài-la̍k ē lâi piàⁿ chhù; chhun-ê góa ka-tī piàⁿ."
Connie koh khòaⁿ i. I ê ba̍k-chiu koh teh chhiò ah, sió-khóa lāng-gê, m̄-koh un-loán koh nâ-nâ, ū tām-po̍h jîn-chû. Yi lia̍h i kim-kim khòaⁿ. I chhēng tn̂g-khò͘, jiông-á siatchuh, phú-sek nekutái, thâu-mo͘ nńg koh tâm, bīn-sek pe̍h-pe̍h, móa-bīn hong-song. Ba̍k-sek nā bô lāng-gê ê sî, khòaⁿ khí-lâi ná ū khó͘-chhó͘, m̄-koh iáu sī bô sit khì in ê un-loán. Hut-jiân, chi̍t chūn ko͘-to̍k ê phú-pe̍h tah tio̍h i, yi lâi chia pēng m-sī ūi-tio̍h i ah.
Yi ū chin chē ōe boeh kóng, m̄-koh bô kóng. Yi kan-ta koh-chài khòaⁿ i, án-ne kóng:
"Góa hi-bāng, góa bô kiáu-jiáu tio̍h lí?"
I ba̍k-chiu bui-bui, khin-khin lāng-gê bî-chhiò.
"Bô lah, góa tú teh sé thâu-mo͘, chhiáⁿ bián kòa-ì. Pháiⁿ-sè, góa bô chhēng gōa-saⁿ, in-ūi góa m̄-chai sī siáng lâi. M̄-bat ū lâng khok-mn̂g, khok-mn̂g siaⁿ hō͘ góa kiaⁿ chi̍t tiô."
I kiâⁿ thâu-chêng, chhōa yi kàu hoe-hn̂g ê mn̂g. Chhēng siatchuh, bô khàm tòa niá mî-jiông gōa-thò ê sin-khu, yi koh khòaⁿ tio̍h i hiah thiu, hiah sán, sió-khóa khiau-ku. M̄-koh kiâⁿ kòe i sin-piⁿ ê sî, yi koh hoat-hiān i he chhián-sek thâu-mo͘ kap oa̍h-thiàu ê ba̍k-chiu ū bó͘-chióng siàu-liân, kng-liāng ê só͘-chāi. I tāi-khài sī saⁿ-cha̍p chhit/peh hòe ê lâng.
Yi bān-bān kiâⁿ ji̍p chhiū-nâ, chai-iáⁿ i tī āu-piah khòaⁿ yi; i hō͘ yi put-kìm chiah-nī bē chū-chāi.
Iah i neh, kiâⁿ ji̍p chhù nih ê sî, i án-ne siūⁿ: "Yi bē-bái, yi si̍t-chāi! Yi pí yi ka-tī siūⁿ--ê koh-khah hó."
Yi tùi i kám-kak hòⁿ-kî, kám-kak i bô-sêng sī la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú, kin-pún bô-sêng kang-lâng; sui-bóng i mā ū chi̍t-kóa pún-tē-lâng ê te̍k-chit, m̄-koh i mā ū chin bô kāng-khán ê só͘-chāi.
"Hit ê la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú Mellors sī chi̍t ê kî-koài ê lâng," yi kā Clifford kóng; "I chha-put-to ná-chhiūⁿ sin-sū."
"Ná-chhiūⁿ?" Clifford mn̄g. "Góa bô chù-ì tio̍h."
"M̄-koh, i kám bô siáⁿ te̍k-piat ê só͘-chāi?" Connie kian-chhî kóng.
"Góa jīn-ûi i lâng bē-bái, m̄-koh góa bat i bô chē. I kū-nî chiah thè-ngó͘, iáu bô chi̍t nî. Góa siong-sìn, i sī ùi India thè-ngó͘ ê. Tī hit ê só͘-chāi, hoān-sè i ū o̍h-tio̍h siáⁿ-mih ki-khá, hoān-sè i sī chi̍t ê kun-koaⁿ ê thoân-lēng-peng, án-ne kái-chìn liáu i ê tē-ūi. M̄-koh che tùi in bô siáⁿ-mih hó-chhù, tán in thè-ngó͘ tńg-chhù, in lóng tio̍h koh thè-tńg khì in goân-lâi ê tē-ūi."
Connie kim-kim khòaⁿ Clifford, sim-nih ná siūⁿ. Yi khòaⁿ tio̍h Clifford te̍k-pia̍t khòaⁿ bē-khí jīm-hô kē kai-kip ê lâng siūⁿ boeh peh-koân, yi chai, che sī in chit-khoán lâng ê te̍k-sèng.
"M̄-koh, lí kám bô khòaⁿ tio̍h i ū siáⁿ te̍k-pia̍t ê só͘-chāi?" yi koh mn̄g.
"Láu-si̍t kóng, bô! Góa siáⁿ to bô chù-ì tio̍h."
I hòⁿ-kî khòaⁿ yi, kám-kak put-an koh pòaⁿ gî-sim. Yi kám-kak i pēng bô kā yi kóng si̍t-ōe; i mā bô kā i ka-tī kóng si̍t-ōe, tāi-chì tō sī án-ne. I thó-ià lâng the̍h-khí kóng, siáng sī chi̍t ê chin-chiàⁿ te̍k-pia̍t ê lâng. Só͘-ū ê lâng lóng tio̍h kap i kāng chúi-chún, a̍h-sī khah kē, bē-sái khah koân.
Connie koh kám-kak tio̍h yin chit tāi ê lâng ê tàng-sng kap kiâm-siap. In tùi sèⁿ-miā lóng chiâⁿ tàng-sng, chiâⁿ kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ!
--
6.5 查埔人 tī 厝後尾洗盪
彼个印象深深達到 Connie ê 子宮; 她知影彼自 án-ne 牢 tī 遐. M̄-koh 她 ê 心 nih 煞感覺好笑. 查埔人 tī 厝後尾洗身軀! 當然是用有臭味 ê 黃色 sap-bûn! 她小可感覺討厭; 是按怎她會拄著這種 sông ê 私事?
她慢慢行開, 過一睏, 她才坐落 tī 一支柴頭. 她 ê 心真亂, 無法度想. M̄-koh tī 迷亂中間, 她猶是決心欲 kā Clifford ê 話講予彼人聽. 這她無躊躕. 她著留時間予彼人穿衫, m̄-koh bē-sái 予走出去. 凡勢伊是準備欲出去佗位.
她 koh 慢慢散步行倒轉, 注意聽. 她行倚 ê 時, 村舍猶是仝款. 有狗 teh 吠, 她 khok 門, 她 ê 心禁不住 phi̍h-pho̍k 跳.
她聽著彼人落樓梯. 伊真緊拍開門, 予她掣一趒. 伊看起來 mā 有一種不安, m̄-koh 隨 tō 面笑笑.
"Chatterley 夫人!" 伊講. "請你入來, ho͘ⁿh?"
伊 ê 舉止真正斯文 koh 自然, 她伐過戶橂, 進入彼小可 ak-chak ê 厝內.
"我來, 是 Clifford Sià 有話欲吩咐," 她用柔柔, 小可接袂上氣 ê 聲講.
彼人用伊彼藍色, 金爍爍 ê 目睭看她, 予她煞 kā 面小可越開. 她 ê 歹勢予伊感覺她真古錐, mā ē-sái 講是媠, 自 án-ne, 這个場面隨由伊主導.
"請你遐坐, 好毋?" 伊問, 心想講她袂坐. 門猶開開.
"我毋坐, 多謝! Clifford Sià 欲知, 你是毋是..." 她 ná 講交代 ê 話, ná 不知不覺 koh 看伊 ê 目睭. 今伊 ê 目睭溫暖 koh 仁慈, 對查某來看 koh 較是奇妙 ê 溫暖 koh 仁慈, 而且真自然.
"真好, 夫人. 我會隨去發落."
聽吩咐 ê 時, 伊規个人攏無仝 ah, 顯出一種堅定, 冷淡 ê 神態. Connie 躊躕一下, 今她著離開. M̄-koh 她 ná 像無奈何, kā 這个清氣, 整齊, koh 小可 ak-chak ê 客廳看看 leh.
"你家己一个蹛遮?" 她問.
"是 ah, 夫人, 家己一个."
"M̄-koh, 恁老母 neh...?"
"她 tī 庄 nih 蹛 tī 她家己 ê 村舍."
"和囡仔同齊?" Connie 問.
"和囡仔同齊!"
伊彼平凡, 風霜 ê 面出一種 ná 有 ná 無 ê 弄牙表情. 這个面不時 teh 變, 掠攏無.
"M̄-koh," 看著 Connie 無了解, 伊 koh 講, "阮老母拜六會來摒厝; 賰 ê 我家己摒."
Connie koh 看伊. 伊 ê 目睭 koh teh 笑 ah, 小可弄牙, m̄-koh 溫暖 koh 藍藍, 有淡薄仁慈. 她掠伊金金看. 伊穿長褲, 絨仔 siatchuh, 殕色 nekutái, 頭毛軟 koh 澹, 面色白白, 滿面風霜. 目色若無弄牙 ê 時, 看起來 ná 有苦楚, m̄-koh 猶是無失去 in ê 溫暖. 忽然, 一陣孤獨 ê 殕白罩著伊, 她來遮並毋是為著伊 ah.
她有真濟話欲講. 她干焦 koh 再看伊, án-ne 講:
"我希望, 我無攪擾著你?"
伊目睭 bui-bui, 輕輕弄牙微笑.
"無 lah, 我拄 teh 洗頭毛, 請免掛意. 歹勢, 我無穿外衫, 因為我毋知是 siáng 來. M̄-bat 有人khok 門, khok 門聲予我驚一趒."
伊行頭前, chhōa 她到花園 ê 門. 穿 siatchuh, 無崁大領棉絨外套 ê 身軀, 她 koh 看著伊 hiah 抽, hiah 瘦, 小可曲痀. M̄-koh 行過伊身邊 ê 時, 她 koh 發現伊彼淺色頭毛 kap 活跳 ê 目睭有某種少年, 光亮 ê 所在. 伊大概是三十七八歲 ê 人.
她慢慢行入樹林, 知影伊 tī 後壁看她; 伊予她不禁 chiah-nī 袂自在.
Iah 伊 neh, 行入厝 nih ê 時, 伊 án-ne 想: "她袂䆀, 她實在! 她比她家己想 ê koh 較好."
她對伊感覺好奇, 感覺伊無成是獵場看守, 根本無成工人; 雖罔伊 mā 有一寡本地人 ê 特質, m̄-koh 伊 mā 有真無仝款 ê 所在.
"彼个獵場看守 Mellors 是一个奇怪 ê 人," 她 kā Clifford 講; "伊差不多 ná 像紳士."
"Ná 像?" Clifford 問. "我無注意著."
"M̄-koh, 伊敢無啥特別 ê 所在?" Connie 堅持講.
"我認為伊人袂䆀, m̄-koh 我 bat 伊無濟. 伊舊年才退伍, 猶無一年. 我相信, 伊是 ùi India 退伍 ê. Tī 彼个所在, 凡勢伊有學著啥物技巧, 凡勢伊是一个軍官 ê 傳令兵, án-ne 改進了伊 ê 地位. M̄-koh 這對 in 無啥物好處, 等 in 退伍轉厝, in 攏著 koh 退轉去 in 原來 ê 地位."
Connie 金金看 Clifford, 心 nih ná 想. 她看著 Clifford 特別看袂起任何低階級 ê 人想欲 peh 懸, 她知, 這是 in 這款人 ê 特性.
"M̄-koh, 你敢無看著伊有啥特別 ê 所在?" 她 koh 問.
"老實講, 無! 我啥都無注意著."
伊好奇看她, 感覺不安 koh 半疑心. 她感覺伊並無 kā 她講實話; 伊 mā 無 kā 伊家己講實話, 代誌 tō 是 án-ne. 伊討厭人提起講, siáng 是一个真正特別 ê 人. 所有 ê 人攏著 kap 伊仝水準, 抑是較低, bē-sái 較懸.
Connie koh 感覺著姻這代 ê 人 ê 凍霜 kap 鹹澀. In 對性命攏誠凍霜, 誠驚惶!
--
6.5
Connie had received the shock of vision in her womb, and she knew it; it lay inside her. But with her mind she was inclined to ridicule. A man washing himself in a back yard! No doubt with evil-smelling yellow soap! She was rather annoyed; why should she be made to stumble on these vulgar privacies?
So she walked away from herself, but after a while she sat down on a stump. She was too confused to think. But in the coil of her confusion, she was determined to deliver her message to the fellow. She would not be balked. She must give him time to dress himself, but not time to go out. He was probably preparing to go out somewhere.
So she sauntered slowly back, listening. As she came near, the cottage looked just the same. A dog barked, and she knocked at the door, her heart beating in spite of herself.
She heard the man coming lightly downstairs. He opened the door quickly, and startled her. He looked uneasy himself, but instantly a laugh came on his face.
'Lady Chatterley!' he said. 'Will you come in?'
His manner was so perfectly easy and good, she stepped over the threshold into the rather dreary little room.
'I only called with a message from Sir Clifford,' she said in her soft, rather breathless voice.
The man was looking at her with those blue, all-seeing eyes of his, which made her turn her face aside a little. He thought her comely, almost beautiful, in her shyness, and he took command of the situation himself at once.
'Would you care to sit down?' he asked, presuming she would not. The door stood open.
'No thanks! Sir Clifford wondered if you would ... ' and she delivered her message, looking unconsciously into his eyes again. And now his eyes looked warm and kind, particularly to a woman, wonderfully warm, and kind, and at ease.
'Very good, your Ladyship. I will see to it at once.'
Taking an order, his whole self had changed, glazed over with a sort of hardness and distance. Connie hesitated, she ought to go. But she looked round the clean, tidy, rather dreary little sitting-room with something like dismay.
'Do you live here quite alone?' she asked.
'Quite alone, your Ladyship.'
'But your mother ...?'
'She lives in her own cottage in the village.'
'With the child?' asked Connie.
'With the child!'
And his plain, rather worn face took on an indefinable look of derision. It was a face that changed all the time, baking.
'No,' he said, seeing Connie stand at a loss, 'my mother comes and cleans up for me on Saturdays; I do the rest myself.'
Again Connie looked at him. His eyes were smiling again, a little mockingly, but warm and blue, and somehow kind. She wondered at him. He was in trousers and flannel shirt and a grey tie, his hair soft and damp, his face rather pale and worn-looking. When the eyes ceased to laugh they looked as if they had suffered a great deal, still without losing their warmth. But a pallor of isolation came over him, she was not really there for him.
She wanted to say so many things, and she said nothing. Only she looked up at him again, and remarked:
'I hope I didn't disturb you?'
The faint smile of mockery narrowed his eyes.
'Only combing my hair, if you don't mind. I'm sorry I hadn't a coat on, but then I had no idea who was knocking. Nobody knocks here, and the unexpected sounds ominous.'
He went in front of her down the garden path to hold the gate. In his shirt, without the clumsy velveteen coat, she saw again how slender he was, thin, stooping a little. Yet, as she passed him, there was something young and bright in his fair hair, and his quick eyes. He would be a man about thirty-seven or eight.
She plodded on into the wood, knowing he was looking after her; he upset her so much, in spite of herself.
And he, as he went indoors, was thinking: 'She's nice, she's real! She's nicer than she knows.'
She wondered very much about him; he seemed so unlike a game-keeper, so unlike a working-man anyhow; although he had something in common with the local people. But also something very uncommon.
'The game-keeper, Mellors, is a curious kind of person,' she said to Clifford; 'he might almost be a gentleman.'
'Might he?' said Clifford. 'I hadn't noticed.'
'But isn't there something special about him?' Connie insisted.
'I think he's quite a nice fellow, but I know very little about him. He only came out of the army last year, less than a year ago. From India, I rather think. He may have picked up certain tricks out there, perhaps he was an officer's servant, and improved on his position. Some of the men were like that. But it does them no good, they have to fall back into their old places when they get home again.'
Connie gazed at Clifford contemplatively. She saw in him the peculiar tight rebuff against anyone of the lower classes who might be really climbing up, which she knew was characteristic of his breed.
'But don't you think there is something special about him?' she asked.
'Frankly, no! Nothing I had noticed.'
He looked at her curiously, uneasily, half-suspiciously. And she felt he wasn't telling her the real truth; he wasn't telling himself the real truth, that was it. He disliked any suggestion of a really exceptional human being. People must be more or less at his level, or below it.
Connie felt again the tightness, niggardliness of the men of her generation. They were so tight, so scared of life!
--
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