2.2 I sī oân-choân ài khò Connie
Tī cheng-sîn siōng, chng-nih ê lâng sī chin tông-chêng Clifford kap Connie. Tī hiān-si̍t, in nn̄g-pêng lóng piáu-hiān chhut: lí mài lâi chhap góa.
Kàu-khu ê bo̍k-su sī chi̍t ê chin chīn-chek ê hó lâng, liōng-iok 60 hòe, m̄-koh chng-nih tiām-tiām ê "mài chhap góa" thāi-tō͘, hō͘ i piàn-kah ná ū ná bô. Khòng-kang ê cha-bó͘-lâng chha-put-to lóng sī Ūi-lí-phài kàu-hōe ê sìn-tô͘, m̄-koh khòng-kang siáⁿ to bô sìn. In-ūi bo̍k-su chhêng chèng-sek ê chè-ho̍k, oân-choân am-khàm tio̍h i put-kò sī chi̍t ê phó͘-thong lâng. Tio̍h, i sī Ashby Bo̍k-su, sī iōng lâi chū-tōng thoân-tō kap kî-tó.
"Chhap lí sī siáⁿ Chatterley hu-jîn, goán mā bē su lí!" chng-kha lâng ê chit-chióng kò͘-chip pún-lêng, tú khai-sí hō͘ Connie siūⁿ lóng bô, mā chiok khùn-jiáu. Yi nā kap yin phah-chio-ho͘, hiah-ê khòng-kang thài-thài ê hoán-èng sī hòⁿ-kî, hoâi-gî, kap ke-sian hó-lé; yi tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ thiaⁿ tio̍h chiah-ê cha-bó͘ iōng pòaⁿ phô-tháⁿ ê kháu-khì āng-siaⁿ kóng: "Oh, thiⁿ ah! Góa bô kán-tan, Chatterley hu-jîn hām góa teh kóng-ōe neh! M̄-koh yi m̄-thang kiò-sī góa ē khah su yi lah!" Chit-chióng koài chhì-chha̍k ê thāi-tō͘ lóng hō͘ yi bē liáu-kái. Che siám mā bē kòe. Che sī bô-kiù koh ín-lâng hoán-kám ê hoán-pōe.
Clifford bô siáⁿ chhap in, Connie mā o̍h chhiūⁿ i án-ne: kòe-lō͘ ê sî, yi bô khòaⁿ in, in tō kim-kim khòaⁿ yi, ná chhiūⁿ kóng yi sī ē kiâⁿ-lō͘ ê ang-á. Su-iàu kap in chih-chiap ê sî, Clifford ê thāi-tō͘ sī hong-sîn koh khòaⁿ in bô; i bô hoat-tō͘ kap in hó-lé. Sū-si̍t-siōng, tùi jīm-hô kap i bô kāng kai-kip ê lâng, i lóng sī piáu-hiān kah chin kiau-ngō͘ koh khòaⁿ lâng bô. I kò͘-siú ka-tī ê tē-ūi, bô boeh kap lâng piáu-sī hó-ì. Hia ê lâng bô-kóng kah-ì i, mā m̄-sī bô kah-ì i: i tō ná chhiūⁿ chi̍t-hāng mi̍h-kiāⁿ, tō ná chhiūⁿ khòng-tiûⁿ, ná Wragby pún-sin.
M̄-koh Clifford sī chin-chiàⁿ kiaⁿ kiàn-siàu, chin kòa-sim ka-tī ê chân-hùi. Tî-liáu ka-tī ê sin-lô, i lóng bô kah-ì khòaⁿ tio̍h pa̍t-lâng, in-ūi i tio̍h chē lûn-í a̍h sī chē motor /mò.tà/ í-á-chhia. Put-jî-kò, i chhiàⁿ kùi som-som ê châi-hông, chiàu-siông chhēng-kah chiâⁿ phāⁿ, mā sī chiàu-siông kat te̍k-pia̍t ùi Bond-ke bé lâi ê nekutái, i ê téng-pòaⁿ-sin iáu sī iân-tâu koh thé-biān. I it-hiòng m̄-sī hit-chióng cha-bó͘-thé ê hiān-tāi siàu-liân-ke: i tian-tò sī chho͘-ióng-hêng ê, bīn-sek âng-gê, keng-thâu khoan-khoah. M̄-koh i khin-siaⁿ koh tiû-tû ê kháu-khì, i he iā ióng iā kiaⁿ, iā tiāⁿ iā gî ê ba̍k-sîn, chāi-chāi hián-chhut i ê pún-sèng. I ê thāi-tō͘ óng-óng sī hong-sîn kah ē tek-chōe-lâng, sûi tō iū piàn-chò khiam-hi, chū-pi, tò-kiu.
Connie hām i sio i-óa, hit-chióng hiān-tāi ná ū ná bô ê i-óa. Sin-thé chân-hùi chit kiāⁿ sū hō͘ i chin siū-siong, tì-sú sim-chêng bô hoat-tō͘ khin-sang, chū-jiân. In-ūi án-ne, Connie te̍k-pia̍t jia̍t-chêng àn-nāi i.
M̄-koh Connie lân-bián kám-kak Clifford hām bîn-kan ê khan-liân siuⁿ chió. Kóng khí-lâi, khòng-kang sī i ka-tī ê lâng; m̄-koh i kā tòng-chò mi̍h-kiāⁿ, bô tòng-chò lâng, kā tòng-chò thòaⁿ-khang ê chi̍t pō͘-hūn, bô tòng-chò sèⁿ-miā ê chi̍t pō͘-hūn, kā tòng-chò goân-sú ê hiān-siōng, bô tòng-chò ná ka-tī ê jîn-lūi. I ká-ná kiaⁿ in, kiaⁿ in khòaⁿ i sī chân-hùi. In kî-koài, chho͘-pá ê seng-oa̍h, chāi i khòaⁿ-lâi, tō ná chhì-ūi (刺蝟) ê seng-oa̍h hiah-nī bô chū-jiân.
I hn̄g-hn̄g koan-sim in; tō ná lâng teh khòaⁿ hián-bî-kiàⁿ, a̍h teh khòaⁿ tiàu-kiàⁿ. I hām in bô chiap-chhiok. I hām jīm-hô lâng lóng bô si̍t-chè ê chiap-chhiok, kan-ta chū-lâi hām Wragby, í-ki̍p thàu-kòe ka-têng koan-he hām Emma ū chiap-chhiok. Án-ne í-gōa lóng bô siág hām i ū chiap-chhiok. Connie kám-kak it-ti̍t mā lóng kap i bô chin-chiàⁿ ê chiap-chhiok; hoān-sè mā bô siáⁿ thang tit-tio̍h; kan-ta sī lâng ê kau-pôe ê tò-thè.
M̄-koh i sī oân-choân ài khò Connie, bô-sî bô-khek lóng su-iàu yi. Tōa-phiāⁿ koh ióng-kiāⁿ, i mā chin bô-nāi. Sui-bóng i ū lûn-í thang chē, ū tàu motor ê í-á chhia thang chài i bān-bān khì se̍h lîm-hn̂g, m̄-koh nā ka-tī chi̍t-ê ê sî, i tō ná sit-lo̍h ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. I su-iàu Connie pôe-phōaⁿ, hō͘ i khak-tēng ka-tī ê chûn-chāi.
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2.2 伊是完全愛靠 Connie
Tī 精神上, 庄 nih ê 人是真同情 Clifford kap Connie. Tī 現實, in 兩爿攏表現出: 你莫來 chhap 我.
教區 ê 牧師是一个真盡責 ê 好人, 量約 60 歲, 毋過庄 nih 恬恬 ê "莫 chhap 我" 態度, 予伊變甲 ná 有 ná 無. 礦工 ê 查某人差不多攏是衛理派教會 ê 信徒, 毋過礦工啥 to 無信. 因為牧師穿正式 ê 制服, 完全掩崁著伊不過是一个普通人. 著, 伊是 Ashby 牧師, 是用來自動傳道 kap 祈禱.
"Chhap 你是啥 Chatterley 夫人, 阮 mā 袂輸你!" 庄跤人 ê 這種固執本能, 拄開始予 Connie 想攏無, mā 足困擾. 她若 kap 姻拍招呼, hiah-ê 礦工太太 ê 反應是好奇, 懷疑, kap 假仙好禮; 她定定聽著 chiah-ê 查某用半扶挺 ê 口氣 āng 聲講: "Oh, 天 ah! 我無簡單, Chatterley 夫人和我 teh 講話 neh! 毋過她毋通叫是我會較輸她 lah!" 這種怪刺鑿 ê 態度攏予她袂了解. 這閃 mā 袂過. 這是無救 koh 引人反感 ê 反背.
Clifford 無啥 chhap in, Connie mā 學像伊 án-ne: 過路 ê 時, 她無看 in, in tō 金金看伊她, ná 像講她是會行路 ê 尪仔. 需要 kap in chih-chiap ê 時, Clifford ê 態度是風神 koh 看 in 無; 伊無法度 kap in 好禮. 事實上, 對任何 kap 伊無仝階級 ê 人, 伊攏是表現甲真驕傲 koh 看人無. 伊固守家己 ê 地位, 無欲 kap 人表示好意. 遐 ê 人無講佮意伊, mā 毋是無佮意伊: 伊 tō ná 像一項物件, tō ná 像礦場, ná Wragby 本身.
毋過 Clifford 是真正驚見笑, 真掛心家己 ê 殘廢. 除了家己 ê sin-lô, 伊攏無佮意看著別人, 因為伊著坐輪椅抑是坐 motor /mò.tà/ 椅仔車. 不而過, 伊 chhiàⁿ 貴 som-som ê 裁縫, 照常穿甲誠 phāⁿ, mā 是照常結特別 ùi Bond 街買來 ê nekutái, 伊 ê 頂半身猶是緣投 koh 體面. 伊一向毋是彼種查某體 ê 現代少年家: 伊顛倒是粗勇型 ê, 面色紅牙, 肩頭寬闊. 毋過伊輕聲 koh 躊躇 ê 口氣, 伊彼也勇也驚, 也定也疑 ê 目神, 在在顯出伊 ê 本性. 伊 ê 態度往往是風神甲會得罪人, 隨 tō 又變做謙虛, 自卑, 倒 kiu.
Connie 和伊相依倚, 彼種現代 ná 有 ná 無 ê 依倚. 身體殘廢這件事予伊真受傷, 致使心情無法度輕鬆, 自然. 因為 án-ne, Connie 特別熱情 àn-nāi 伊.
毋過 Connie 難免感覺 Clifford 和民間 ê 牽連 siuⁿ 少. 講起來, 礦工是伊家己 ê 人; 毋過伊 kā 當做物件, 無當做人, kā 當做炭空 ê 一部分, 無當做性命 ê 一部分, kā 當做原始 ê 現象, 無當做 ná 家己 ê 人類. 伊 ká-ná 驚 in, 驚 in 看伊是殘廢. In 奇怪, 粗飽 ê 生活, 在伊看來, tō ná 刺蝟 ê 生活 hiah-nī 無自然.
伊遠遠關心 in; tō ná 人 teh 看顯微鏡, 抑 teh 看召鏡. 伊和 in 無接觸. 伊和任何人攏無實際 ê 接觸, 干焦自來和 Wragby, 以及透過家庭關係和 Emma 有接觸. Án-ne 以外攏無啥和伊有接觸. Connie 感覺一直 mā 攏 kap 伊無真正 ê 接觸; 凡勢 mā 無啥通得著; 干焦是人 ê 交陪 ê 倒退.
毋過伊是完全愛靠 Connie, 無時無刻攏需要她. 大龐 koh 勇健, 伊 mā 真無奈. 雖罔伊有輪椅通坐, 有鬥 motor ê 椅仔車通載伊慢慢去 se̍h 林園, 毋過若家己一个 ê 時, 伊 tō ná 失落 ê 物件. 伊需要 Connie 陪伴, 予伊確定家己 ê 存在.
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2.2
Yet the village sympathized with Clifford and Connie in the abstract. In the flesh it was — You leave me alone! — on either side.
The rector was a nice man of about sixty, full of his duty, and reduced, personally, almost to a nonentity by the silent — You leave me alone! — of the village. The miners' wives were nearly all Methodists. The miners were nothing. But even so much official uniform as the clergyman wore was enough to obscure entirely the fact that he was a man like any other man. No, he was Mester Ashby, a sort of automatic preaching and praying concern.
This stubborn, instinctive — We think ourselves as good as you, if you are Lady Chatterley! — puzzled and baffled Connie at first extremely. The curious, suspicious, false amiability with which the miners' wives met her overtures; the curiously offensive tinge of — Oh dear me! I am somebody now, with Lady Chatterley talking to me! But she needn't think I'm not as good as her for all that! — which she always heard twanging in the women's half-fawning voices, was impossible. There was no getting past it. It was hopelessly and offensively nonconformist.
Clifford left them alone, and she learnt to do the same: she just went by without looking at them, and they stared as if she were a walking wax figure. When he had to deal with them, Clifford was rather haughty and contemptuous; one could no longer afford to be friendly. In fact he was altogether rather supercilious and contemptuous of anyone not in his own class. He stood his ground, without any attempt at conciliation. And he was neither liked nor disliked by the people: he was just part of things, like the pit-bank and Wragby itself.
But Clifford was really extremely shy and self-conscious now he was lamed. He hated seeing anyone except just the personal servants. For he had to sit in a wheeled chair or a sort of bath-chair. Nevertheless he was just as carefully dressed as ever, by his expensive tailors, and he wore the careful Bond Street neckties just as before, and from the top he looked just as smart and impressive as ever. He had never been one of the modern ladylike young men: rather bucolic even, with his ruddy face and broad shoulders. But his very quiet, hesitating voice, and his eyes, at the same time bold and frightened, assured and uncertain, revealed his nature. His manner was often offensively supercilious, and then again modest and self-effacing, almost tremulous.
Connie and he were attached to one another, in the aloof modern way. He was much too hurt in himself, the great shock of his maiming, to be easy and flippant. He was a hurt thing. And as such Connie stuck to him passionately.
But she could not help feeling how little connexion he really had with people. The miners were, in a sense, his own men; but he saw them as objects rather than men, parts of the pit rather than parts of life, crude raw phenomena rather than human beings along with him. He was in some way afraid of them, he could not bear to have them look at him now he was lame. And their queer, crude life seemed as unnatural as that of hedgehogs.
He was remotely interested; but like a man looking down a microscope, or up a telescope. He was not in touch. He was not in actual touch with anybody, save, traditionally, with Wragby, and, through the close bond of family defence, with Emma. Beyond this nothing really touched him. Connie felt that she herself didn't really, not really touch him; perhaps there was nothing to get at ultimately; just a negation of human contact.
Yet he was absolutely dependent on her, he needed her every moment. Big and strong as he was, he was helpless. He could wheel himself about in a wheeled chair, and he had a sort of bath-chair with a motor attachment, in which he could puff slowly round the park. But alone he was like a lost thing. He needed Connie to be there, to assure him he existed at all.
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