12.2 我著食頭路, 無, 會死

12.2 Góa tio̍h chia̍h thâu-lō͘, bô, ē sí

Yi kā nn̄g-ê tê-poe khǹg tī toh téng; mā kan-ta ū nn̄g-ê. "Lí boeh chia̍h chi̍t-poe tê bô?" yi mn̄g.

"Chāi lí. Thn̂g tī tû-á nih, hia mā ū chi̍t-ê té krím ê poe-á. Gû-leng khǹg tī si̍t-bu̍t-keng ê koàn-á nih."

"Góa kā lí ê chhan-pôaⁿ siu khí-lâi, hó bô?" yi mn̄g i. I gia̍h ba̍k khòaⁿ yi, kek chi̍t-ê léng-chhiò.

"Ai-ah... chāi lí," i kóng, bān-bān teh chia̍h pháng kap chhiz. Yi khì āu-piah ê phian-pâng, hia ū phòng-phù-á. Tò-pêng ū chi̍t-ê mn̂g, che tiāⁿ-tio̍h sī khì si̍t-bu̍t-keng ê mn̂g. Yi khui-mn̂g, khòaⁿ tio̍h he yi soah kám-kak hó-chhiò; put-kò sī chi̍t-ê tn̂g-liâu, chhat pe̍h-sek ê piah-tû. M̄-koh lāi-bīn iáu sī ū chi̍t-tháng bihlù, kúi tè pôaⁿ-á kap chi̍t-kóa si̍t-bu̍t. Yi ùi n̂g-sek ê koàn-á nih tò chi̍t-kóa gû-leng.

"Lí ê gû-leng án-chóaⁿ lâi ê?" tńg-lâi toh-á hia ê sî, yi mn̄g.

"Flints! In kā koàn-á khǹg tī bo̍k-tiûⁿ piⁿ. Lí chai, tō-sī góa téng-kái tú tio̍h lí hia!"

M̄-koh i ná teh sit-chì. Yi tò hó tê, koh the̍h khí gû-leng koàn.

"Bô-ài gû-leng," i kóng; i ná ū thiaⁿ tio̍h siáⁿ, gia̍h-ba̍k khòaⁿ mn̂g gōa.

"Án káⁿ tio̍h koaiⁿ-mn̂g," i kóng.

"Án-ne chin bô-chhái," yi kóng. "Bô-lâng ē lâi lah, kám ū?"

"Chí-sī kiaⁿ bān-it lah, che siáng ē chai."

"Sīm-chì án-ne mā bô iàu-kín," yi kóng. "Put-kò sī lim chi̍t-poe tê."

"Thiâu-keng-á tī toh?"

I chhun-chhiú, phah-khui toh ê thoah-á. Connie chē tī toh-á óa mn̂g, chiò tio̍h ji̍t-thâu hit pêng.

"Flossie!" i kiò phak tī lâu-thui thâu sió tē-thán téng hit chiah káu. "Chhut-khì hark, hark!"

I pí chéng-thâu-á, "hark!" kóng kah chiâⁿ seng-tōng. Káu cháu chhut-khì koan-thàm.

"Lí kin-á-ji̍t ut-chut sioh?" yi mn̄g i.

I ê nâ-sek ba̍k-chiu sûi tńg kòe-lâi, lia̍h yi kim-kim khòaⁿ.

"Ut-chut! bē, sī bô-liâu! Góa tio̍h khì niá góa lia̍h tio̍h nn̄g-ê lâng thau phah-la̍h ê thoân-phiò, ai-ah, góa thó-ià chit-lō tāi-chì."

I kóng léng-chēng, chèng-khak ê Eng-gí, siaⁿ-im nih ū siū-khì.

"Lí thó-ià chò la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú?" yi mn̄g.

"Chò la̍h-tiûⁿ khàn-siú, bē! Lâng nā mài chhap góa tō hó. M̄-koh, góa nā tio̍h khì kéng-kio̍k kap kok-chióng só͘-chāi, khì tán chi̍t-kóa gōng-á lâi lô-so... ai-ah, góa ē khí-siáu..." i soah chhiò chhut-lâi, kám-kak chhiò-khoe.

"Lí kám bô hoat-tō͘ chin-chiàⁿ chū-kip?" yi mn̄g.

"Góa? Góa siūⁿ, góa ē-sái, jû-kó lí ê ì-sù sī khò góa ê nî-kim seng-oa̍h. Góa ē-sái! M̄-koh góa tio̍h chia̍h-thâu-lō͘, bô, góa ē sí. Iā-tō-sī, góa tio̍h ài ū thāu-lō͘, bē-sái êng-êng bô tāi-chì. Koh-ū, góa pháiⁿ sèng-tē, bē-tàng ūi ka-tī kang-chok. Tio̍h ài thè pa̍t-lâng kang-chok, nā-bô, in-ūi pháiⁿ sèng-tē, chi̍t kò goe̍h góa tio̍h hòng-khì ah. Só͘-í kóng, tī chia, góa kòe liáu chin hó, iû-kî chòe-kīn..."

I koh ǹg yi chhiò, kek chhiò-khoe.

"M̄-koh, sī án-chóaⁿ lí pháiⁿ sèng-tē?" yi mn̄g. "Lí kám it-ti̍t lóng pháiⁿ sèng-tē?"

"Chha-put-to sī án-ne," i chhiò-chhiò kóng. "Góa bô hoat-tō͘ siau-hòa góa ê khó͘-chiap (bile)."

"Siáⁿ-mih khó͘-chiap?" yi mn̄g.

"Khó͘-chiap!" i kóng. "Lí m̄-chai he sī siáⁿ?" Yi tiām-tiām, kám-kak sit-bōng. I pēng bô chù-ì tio̍h yi.

"Āu kò goe̍h, góa boeh lī-khui," yi kóng.

"Lí lī-khui! Khì tó-ūi?"

"Venice."

"Venice! Hām Clifford Sià? Khì gōa kú?"

"Khì chi̍t kò goe̍h chó-iū," yi tap. "Clifford bô boeh khì."

"I boeh lâu tī chia?" i mn̄g.

"Tio̍h! I thó-ià i hit-khoán sin-miā khì lí-hêng."

"Ái, khó-liân ê lâng!" i tông-chêng kóng. Chi̍t-chūn thêng-khùn.

"Góa bô tī leh, lí bē bē-kì-tit góa hoⁿh?" yi mn̄g. Koh chi̍t-kái, i gia̍h-ba̍k ti̍t-ti̍t khòaⁿ yi.

"Bē-kì-tit?" i kóng. "Lí chai, bô lâng ē bē-kì-tit. He m̄-sī kì-tî ê būn-tê."

Yi siūⁿ boeh mn̄g: "Sī siáⁿ būn-tê?" m̄-koh yi bô mn̄g. Yi chí-sī iōng kē-siaⁿ kóng: "Góa kā Clifford kóng, góa khó-lêng ē ū gín-á."

--

12.2 我著食頭路, 無, 會死

她 kā 兩个茶杯囥 tī 桌頂; mā 干焦有兩个. "你欲食一杯茶無?" 她問.

"在你. 糖 tī 碗櫥仔 nih, 遐 mā 有一个貯 krím ê 杯仔. 牛奶囥 tī 食物間 ê 罐仔 nih."

"我 kā 你 ê 餐盤收起來, 好無?" 她問伊. 伊攑目看她, 激一个冷笑.

"Ai-ah... 在你," 伊講, 慢慢 teh 食 pháng kap chhiz. 她去後壁 ê 偏房, 遐有 phòng-phù 仔. 倒爿有一个門, 這定著是去食物間 ê 門. 她開門, 看著彼她煞感覺好笑; 不過是一个長 liâu, 漆白色 ê 壁櫥. M̄-koh 內面猶是有一桶 bihlù, 幾塊盤仔 kap 一寡食物. 她 ùi 黃色 ê 罐仔 nih 倒一寡牛奶.

"你 ê 牛奶按怎來 ê?" 轉來桌仔 遐 ê 時, 她問.

"Flints! In kā 罐仔囥 tī 牧場邊. 你知, tō 是我頂改拄著你遐!"

M̄-koh 伊 ná teh 失志. 她倒好茶, koh 提起牛奶罐.

"無愛牛奶," 伊講; 伊 ná 有聽著啥, 攑目看門外.

"Án káⁿ 著關門," 伊講.

"Án-ne 真無彩," 她講. "無人會來 lah, 敢有?"

"只是驚萬一 lah, 這 siáng 會知."

"甚至 án-ne mā 無要緊," 她講. "不過是啉一杯茶."

"Thiâu-keng 仔 tī 佗?"

伊伸手, 拍開桌 ê 屜仔. Connie 坐 tī 桌仔倚門, 照著日頭彼爿.

"Flossie!" 伊叫 phak tī 樓梯頭小地毯頂彼隻狗. "出去 hark, hark!"

伊比指頭仔, "hark!" 講 kah 誠生動. 狗走出去觀探.

"你今仔日鬱卒 sioh?" 她問伊.

伊 ê 藍色目睭隨轉過來, 掠她金金看.

"鬱卒! 袂, 是無聊! 我著去領我掠著兩个人偷拍獵 ê 傳票, ai-ah, 我討厭 chit-lō 代誌."

伊講冷靜, 正確 ê 英語, 聲音 nih 有受氣.

"你討厭做獵場看守?" 她問.

"做獵場看守, 袂! 人若莫 chhap 我 tō 好. M̄-koh, 我若著去警局 kap 各種所在, 去等一寡戇仔來 lô-so... ai-ah, 我會起痟..." 伊煞笑出來, 感覺笑詼.

"你敢無法度真正自給?" 她問.

"我? 我想, 我會使, 如果你 ê 意思是靠我 ê 年金生活. 我會使! M̄-koh 我著食頭路, 無, 我會死. 也 tō 是, 我著愛有頭路, 袂使閒閒無代誌. Koh 有, 我歹性地, 袂當為家己工作. 著愛替別人工作, 若無, 因為歹性地, 一個月我著放棄 ah. 所以講, tī 遮, 我過了真好, 尤其最近..."

伊 koh ǹg 她笑, 激笑詼.

"M̄-koh, 是按怎你歹性地?" 她問. "你敢一直攏歹性地?"

"差不多是 án-ne," 伊笑笑講. "我無法度消化我 ê 苦汁 (bile)."

"啥物苦汁?" 她問.

"苦汁!" 伊講. "你毋知彼是啥?" 她恬恬, 感覺失望. 伊並無注意著她.

"後個月, 我欲離開," 她講.

"你離開! 去佗位?"

"Venice."

"Venice! 和 Clifford Sià? 去偌久?"

"去一個月左右," 她答. "Clifford 無欲去."

"伊欲留 tī 遮?" 伊問.

"著! 伊討厭伊彼款身命去旅行."

"Ái, 可憐 ê 人!" 伊同情講. 一陣停睏.

"我無 tī leh, 你 bē 袂記得我 hoⁿh?" 她問. Koh 一改, 伊攑目直直看她.

"袂記得?" 伊講. "你知, 無人會袂記得. 彼毋是記持 ê 問題."

她想欲問: "是啥問題?" m̄-koh 她無問. 她只是用低聲講: "我 kā Clifford 講, 我可能會有囡仔."

--

12.2

She set the two cups on the table; there were only two. ‘Will you have a cup of tea?’ she said.

‘If you like. Sugar’s in th’ cupboard, an’ there’s a little cream jug. Milk’s in a jug in th’ pantry.’

‘Shall I take your plate away?’ she asked him. He looked up at her with a faint ironical smile.

‘Why . . . if you like,’ he said, slowly eating bread and cheese. She went to the back, into the pent-house scullery, where the pump was. On the left was a door, no doubt the pantry door. She unlatched it, and almost smiled at the place he called a pantry; a long narrow white-washed slip of a cupboard. But it managed to contain a little barrel of beer, as well as a few dishes and bits of food. She took a little milk from the yellow jug.

‘How do you get your milk?’ she asked him, when she came back to the table.

‘Flints! They leave me a bottle at the warren end. You know, where I met you!’

But he was discouraged. She poured out the tea, poising the cream-jug.

‘No milk,’ he said; then he seemed to hear a noise, and looked keenly through the doorway.

‘’Appen we’d better shut,’ he said.

‘It seems a pity,’ she replied. ‘Nobody will come, will they?’

‘Not unless it’s one time in a thousand, but you never know.’

‘And even then it’s no matter,’ she said. ‘It’s only a cup of tea.’

‘Where are the spoons?’

He reached over, and pulled open the table drawer. Connie sat at the table in the sunshine of the doorway.

‘Flossie!’ he said to the dog, who was lying on a little mat at the stair foot. ‘Go an’ hark, hark!’

He lifted his finger, and his ‘hark!’ was very vivid. The dog trotted out to reconnoitre.

‘Are you sad today?’ she asked him.

He turned his blue eyes quickly, and gazed direct on her.

‘Sad! no, bored! I had to go getting summonses for two poachers I caught, and, oh well, I don’t like people.’

He spoke cold, good English, and there was anger in his voice.

‘Do you hate being a game-keeper?’ she asked.

‘Being a game-keeper, no! So long as I’m left alone. But when I have to go messing around at the police-station, and various other places, and waiting for a lot of fools to attend to me . . . oh well, I get mad . . . ’ and he smiled, with a certain faint humour.

‘Couldn’t you be really independent?’ she asked.

‘Me? I suppose I could, if you mean manage to exist on my pension. I could! But I’ve got to work, or I should die. That is, I’ve got to have something that keeps me occupied. And I’m not in a good enough temper to work for myself. It’s got to be a sort of job for somebody else, or I should throw it up in a month, out of bad temper. So altogether I’m very well off here, especially lately...’

He laughed at her again, with mocking humour.

‘But why are you in a bad temper?’ she asked. ‘Do you mean you are always in a bad temper?’

‘Pretty well,’ he said, laughing. ‘I don’t quite digest my bile.’

‘But what bile?’ she said.

‘Bile!’ he said. ‘Don’t you know what that is?’ She was silent, and disappointed. He was taking no notice of her.

‘I’m going away for a while next month,’ she said.

‘You are! Where to?’

‘Venice.'

‘Venice! With Sir Clifford? For how long?’

‘For a month or so,’ she replied. ‘Clifford won’t go.’

‘He’ll stay here?’ he asked.

‘Yes! He hates to travel as he is.’

‘Ay, poor devil!’ he said, with sympathy. There was a pause.

‘You won’t forget me when I’m gone, will you?’ she asked. Again he lifted his eyes and looked full at her.

‘Forget?’ he said. ‘You know nobody forgets. It’s not a question of memory.’

She wanted to say: ‘When then?’ but she didn’t. Instead, she said in a mute kind of voice: ‘I told Clifford I might have a child.’

--