14.2 伊 kā 結婚相片燒掉

14.2 I kā kiat-hun siòg-phìⁿ sio tiāu

I í-keng tháu tiāu khia-háng, tng-teh tháu i ê hia-kóng tòa. Connie ùi hóe-lô͘ oa̍t kòe-lâi. Chit keng sè pâng-keng ū kàu khang! M̄-koh tī i thâu-khak téng ê piah ū kòa chi̍t-tiuⁿ khó-phà ê hòng-tōa ê kiat-hun-siòng, hián-jiân he sī i kap chi̍t-ê bīn pháiⁿ-pháiⁿ ê siàu-liân cha-bó͘, he tiāⁿ-tio̍h sī in bó͘.

"He sī lí, hoⁿh?" Connie mn̄g i.

I oa̍t-thâu, khòaⁿ thâu-khak téng hit tiuⁿ hòng-tōa ê siòng.

"Ái! He sī berh kiat-hun sî hip ê, hit-sî óa 21 hè." i khòaⁿ siòng, bīn bô piáu-chêng.

"Lí kah-ì he siòng bô?" yi mn̄g i.

"Kah-ì? Bô! Óa chū-lâi tō bô kah-ì. M̄-koh yi an-pâi hó-sè, kón tio̍h khì hip, án-ne."

I koh oa̍t-sin thǹg hia-kóng.

"Lí nā bô kah-ì, ná ē kā tiàu tī hia? Hoān-sè lín bó͘ kah-ì pó-koán chit tiuⁿ siòng neh," yi kóng.

I hut-jiân chhùi gi-gi khòaⁿ yi.

"Chhù nih ta̍t-tit the̍h ê mi̍h-kiā, yi lón chah liáu-liáu ah," i kóng. "M̄-koh che siòn yi bô the̍h-khì!"

"Án-ne, lí ná tio̍h pó-chûn che? in-ūi chhi-chêng ê koan-hē?"

"Nái, óa chū-lâi bô teh khòa he. Óa bô chù-ì he tī hia. Chū oán poa-lâi chia, tō kòa tī hia ah-lah."

"Lí ná m̄ kā sio tiāu?" yi mn̄g.

I koh oa̍t-thâu khòaⁿ hit tiuⁿ hòng-tōa ê siòng. Siòng-kheng sī chhiah-sek-khong-kim, bái kô͘-kô͘. Siòng lāi-té ū chi̍t-ê chhùi-chhiu khau tah-tah, mé-chhéⁿ, chin siàu-liân khoán ê cha-po͘, chhēng koân-niá saⁿ, hām chi̍t-ê tōa-kho͘-pé, bīn pháiⁿ-pháiⁿ ê siàu-liân cha-bó͘, thâu-chang phòng koh khiû, chhēng àm-sek ê tiû-toān téng-bīn-saⁿ.

"Lír ê ì-kiàn chin hó, kám m̄-sī?" i kóng.

I kā hia-kóng thǹg hó, ōaⁿ chi̍t-siang chhián-thoa. I khiā khí-lih í-á téng, kā siòng pak lo̍h-lâi. Chheⁿ-ho ê piah-chóa téng lâu chi̍t-ê pe̍h-pe̍h ê jiah.

"Eng-ia mā m̄-bián chhit ah," i kóng, ná kā he khǹg tī piah-piⁿ.

I ji̍p-khì phian-pâng the̍h hám-á kap pènchì. Chē tńg pún-lâi chē ê ūi, i khai-sí kā siòng-kheng āu-bīn ê chóa liah-tiāu, koh kā kò͘-tēng āu-bīn-pang ê teng-á bán-tiāu, chek-sî chēng-chēng, choan-sim kang-chok, che tō-sī i ê kò-sèng.

Chi̍t-ē-á, i kā teng-á lóng khiú-tiāu: tō kā āu-bīn-pang the̍h lo̍h, koh-lâi kā tah tī tēng-chóa-pang ê hòng-tōa siòng mā pak lo̍h. I ná khòaⁿ he siòng, kám-kak sim-sek.

"Che sī oán hit-sî ê khoán: góa sī siàu-liân kàu-sū, yi sī chhâ-pê," i kóng. "Kó͘-ì lâng kap chhâ-pê!"

"Hō͘ góa khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē!" Connie kóng.

I khak-si̍t khòaⁿ khí-lâi chin chéng-chê koh kng-tiám-tiám, sī chi̍t-ê 20-nî chêng ê chheng-khì siàu-liân-ke. M̄-koh tī siòng-phìⁿ nih, i ê ba̍k-chiu mā sī mé-chhéⁿ koh tōa-táⁿ. Hit-ê cha-bó͘ pēng bô sêng chhâ-pê, sui-bóng yi ê bīn-kut koân. Yi ū chi̍t-chióng khip-ín lâng ê só͘-chāi.

"Chit-chióng mi̍h-kiāⁿ chhian-bān m̄-thang lâu," Connie kóng.

"M̄-thang lâu! Si̍t-chāi sī, chhian-bān m̄-thang khì hip!"

I iōng kha-thâu-u kā siòng-phìⁿ liân chóa-pang lóng kòng phòa, phòa kah sè-sè tè, tō kā hiat-ji̍p hóe-tui.

"Che mā ē chau-that tio̍h hóe," i kóng.

I kā po-lê kap āu-bīn-pang sió-sim the̍h khì lâu-téng.

I iōng hám-á kā siòng-kheng kòng khui, téng-bīn ê chio̍h-hoe sì-kè phùn. I kā sòaⁿ-khui ê ki-kut the̍h khì phian-pâng khǹg.

"Hiah-ê bîn-á-chài chiah the̍h lâi sio," i kóng. "Téng-koân ū siuⁿ chē chio̍h-hoe."

It-chhè chheng liáu, i koh chē loeh.

"Lí ū ài lín bó͘ bô?" yi mn̄g i.

"Ài?" i mn̄g. "Lí kám ū ài Clifford Sià?"

M̄-koh yi iáu sī boeh mn̄g kah chi̍t-ki pèⁿ.

"M̄-koh lí su-liām yi, hoⁿh?" yi koh mn̄g.

"Su-liām?" i khó͘-chhiò.

"Hoān-sè lí taⁿ teh su-liām yi," yi kóng.

"Óa?" I ba̍k-chiu tián-tōa. "Ah, bē, óa bē su-liām yi," i khin-khin kóng.

"Sī án-chóaⁿ?"

I kan-ta hàiⁿ-thâu.

"Nā bô, lí ná m̄ pān lī-hun? Ū chi̍t-kang, yi ē koh tńg-lâi," Connie kóng.

I téng-chin lia̍h yi khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē.

"Yi bē tńg-lâi óa sin-piⁿ. Yi chheh óa khah-kòe óa chheh yi."

"Lán lâi khòaⁿ, yi ē koh tńg-lâi chhōe lí."

"He yi éng-oán to bē. Lóng kiat-sok ah! Koh khòaⁿ tio̍h yi, óa ē thò͘."

"Lí ē koh khòaⁿ tio̍h yi. Lín pēng bô chèng-sek lī-hun, kám ū?"

"Bô."

"Ah, hó, án-ne yi ē tńg-lâi, lí tio̍h koh chiap-la̍p yi."

--

14.2 伊 kā 結婚相片燒掉

伊已經敨掉 khia-háng, tng-teh 敨伊 ê 靴管帶. Connie ùi 火爐越過來. 這間細房間有夠空! M̄-koh tī 伊頭殼頂 ê 壁有掛一張可怕 ê 放大 ê 結婚相, 顯然彼是伊 kap 一个面歹歹 ê 少年查某, 彼定著是 in 某.

"彼是你, hoⁿh?" Connie 問伊.

伊越頭, 看頭殼頂彼張放大 ê 相.

"Ái! 彼是 berh 結婚時翕 ê, 彼時 óa 21 hè." 伊看相, 面無表情.

"你佮意彼相無?" 她問伊.

"佮意? 無! Óa 自來 tō 無佮意. M̄-koh 她安排好勢, kón 著去翕, án-ne."

伊 koh 越身褪靴管.

"你若無佮意, 那會 kā 吊 tī 遐? 凡勢恁某佮意保管這張相 neh," 她講.

伊忽然喙 gi-gi 看她.

"厝 nih 值得提 ê mi̍h-kiā, 她 lón 扎了了 ah," 伊講. "M̄-koh 這 siòn 她無提去!"

"Án-ne, 你那著保存這? 因為癡情 ê 關係?"

"Nái, óa 自來無 teh 掛彼. Óa 無注意彼 tī 遐. 自 oán poa 來遮, tō 掛 tī 遐 ah-lah."

"你那毋 kā 燒掉?" 她問.

伊 koh 越頭看彼張放大 ê 相. 相框是赤色框金, 䆀 kô͘-kô͘. 相內底有一个喙鬚剾貼貼, 猛醒, 真少年款 ê 查埔, 穿懸領衫, 和一个大箍把, 面歹歹 ê 少年查某, 頭鬃膨 koh 虯, 穿暗色 ê 綢緞頂面衫.

"Lír ê 意見真好, 敢毋是?" 伊講.

伊 kā 靴管褪好, 換一雙淺拖. 伊徛起 lih 椅仔頂, kā 相剝落來. 青熇 ê 壁紙頂留一个白白 ê 跡.

"Eng-ia mā 毋免拭 ah," 伊講, ná kā 彼囥 tī 壁邊.

伊入去偏房提 hám-á kap pènchì. 坐轉本來坐 ê 位, 伊開始 kā 相框後面 ê 紙 liah 掉, koh kā 固定後面枋 ê 釘仔挽掉, 即時靜靜, 專心工作, 這 tō 是伊 ê 個性.

一下仔, 伊 kā 釘仔攏搝掉: tō kā 後面枋提落, koh 來 kā 貼 tī tēng 紙枋 ê 放大相 mā 剝落. 伊 ná 看彼相, 感覺心適.

"這是 oán 彼時 ê 款: 我是少年教士, 她是柴耙," 伊講. "古意人 kap 柴耙!"

"予我看一下!" Connie 講.

伊確實看起來真整齊 koh 光點點, 是一个 20 年前 ê 清氣少年家. M̄-koh tī 相片 nih, 伊 ê 目睭 mā 是猛醒 koh 大膽. 彼个查某並無成柴耙, 雖罔她 ê 面骨懸. 她有一種吸引人 ê 所在.

"這種物件千萬毋通留," Connie 講.

"毋通留! 實在是, 千萬毋通去翕!"

伊用跤頭趺 kā 相片連紙枋攏摃破, 破 kah 細細塊, tō kā 㧒入火堆.

"這 mā 會蹧躂著火," 伊講.

伊 kā 玻璃 kap 後面枋小心提去樓頂.

伊用 hám-á kā 相框摃開, 頂面 ê 石灰四界噴. 伊 kā 散開 ê 枝骨提去偏房囥.

"Hiah-ê 明仔載才提來燒," 伊講. "頂懸有 siuⁿ 濟石灰."

一切清了, 伊 koh 坐 loeh.

"你有愛恁某無?" 她問伊.

"愛?" 伊問. "你敢有愛 Clifford Sià?"

M̄-koh 她猶是欲問 kah 一支柄.

"M̄-koh 你思念她, hoⁿh?" 她 koh 問.

"思念?" 伊苦笑.

"凡勢你今 teh 思念她," 她講.

"Óa?" 伊目睭展大. "Ah, 袂, óa 袂思念她," 伊輕輕講.

"是按怎?"

伊干焦幌頭.

"若無, 你那毋辦離婚? 有一工, 她會 koh 轉來," Connie 講.

伊頂真掠她看一下.

"她袂轉來 óa 身邊. 她慼 óa 較過 óa 慼她."

"咱來看, 她會 koh 轉來揣你."

"彼她永遠都袂. 攏結束 ah! Koh 看著她, óa 會吐."

"你會 koh 看著她. 恁並無正式離婚, 敢有?"

"無."

"Ah, 好, án-ne 她會轉來, 你著 koh 接納她."

--

14.2

He had taken off his leggings and was unlacing his heavy boots. Connie had turned from the fire. How bare the little room was! Yet over his head on the wall hung a hideous enlarged photograph of a young married couple, apparently him and a bold-faced young woman, no doubt his wife.

‘Is that you?’ Connie asked him.

He twisted and looked at the enlargement above his head.

‘Ay! Taken just afore we was married, when I was twenty-one.’ He looked at it impassively.

‘Do you like it?’ Connie asked him.

‘Like it? No! I never liked the thing. But she fixed it all up to have it done, like.’

He returned to pulling off his boots.

‘If you don’t like it, why do you keep it hanging there? Perhaps your wife would like to have it,’ she said.

He looked up at her with a sudden grin.

‘She carted off iverything as was worth taking from th’ ’ouse,’ he said. ‘But she left that!’

‘Then why do you keep it? for sentimental reasons?’

‘Nay, I niver look at it. I hardly knowed it wor theer. It’s bin theer sin’ we come to this place.’

‘Why don’t you burn it?’ she said.

He twisted round again and looked at the enlarged photograph. It was framed in a brown-and-gilt frame, hideous. It showed a clean-shaven, alert, very young-looking man in a rather high collar, and a somewhat plump, bold young woman with hair fluffed out and crimped, and wearing a dark satin blouse.

‘It wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it?’ he said.

He had pulled off his boots, and put on a pair of slippers. He stood up on the chair, and lifted down the photograph. It left a big pale place on the greenish wall-paper.

‘No use dusting it now,’ he said, setting the thing against the wall.

He went to the scullery, and returned with hammer and pincers. Sitting where he had sat before, he started to tear off the back-paper from the big frame, and to pull out the sprigs that held the backboard in position, working with the immediate quiet absorption that was characteristic of him.

He soon had the nails out: then he pulled out the backboards, then the enlargement itself, in its solid white mount. He looked at the photograph with amusement.

‘Shows me for what I was, a young curate, and her for what she was, a bully,’ he said. ‘The prig and the bully!’

‘Let me look!’ said Connie.

He did look indeed very clean-shaven and very clean altogether, one of the clean young men of twenty years ago. But even in the photograph his eyes were alert and dauntless. And the woman was not altogether a bully, though her jowl was heavy. There was a touch of appeal in her.

‘One never should keep these things,’ said Connie.

‘That one shouldn’t! One should never have them made!’

He broke the cardboard photograph and mount over his knee, and when it was small enough, put it on the fire.

‘It’ll spoil the fire though,’ he said.

The glass and the backboard he carefully took upstairs.

The frame he knocked asunder with a few blows of the hammer, making the stucco fly. Then he took the pieces into the scullery.

‘We’ll burn that tomorrow,’ he said. ‘There’s too much plaster-moulding on it.’

Having cleared away, he sat down.

‘Did you love your wife?’ she asked him.

‘Love?’ he said. ‘Did you love Sir Clifford?’

But she was not going to be put off.

‘But you cared for her?’ she insisted.

‘Cared?’ He grinned.

‘Perhaps you care for her now,’ she said.

‘Me!’ His eyes widened. ‘Ah no, I can’t think of her,’ he said quietly.

‘Why?’

But he shook his head.

‘Then why don’t you get a divorce? She’ll come back to you one day,’ said Connie.

He looked up at her sharply.

‘She wouldn’t come within a mile of me. She hates me a lot worse than I hate her.’

‘You’ll see she’ll come back to you.’

‘That she never will. That’s done! It would make me sick to see her.’

‘You will see her. And you’re not even legally separated, are you?’

‘No.’

‘Ah well, then she’ll come back, and you’ll have to take her in.’

--