Friday, August 7, 2020

8.3 她坐小寮 ê 門邊, teh 眠夢

8.3 Yi chē sió-liâu ê mn̂g-piⁿ, teh bîn-bāng
Án-ne, yi chē sió-liâu ê mn̂g-piⁿ, teh bîn-bāng, oân-choân bē-kì-tit sî-kan kap khoân-kéng. Yí oân-choân sîn-khì, hut-jiân i kā khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē, khòaⁿ tio̍h yi tiām-chēng, kî-thāi ê sîn-chêng. Chāi i, che sī chi̍t chióng kî-thāi ê sîn-chêng. Hut-jiân-kan, i ê ē-io, tī kha-chiah-āu ê kin-té, ná-chhiūⁿ khì nah tio̍h hóe-chi̍h, i ê sim-lêng ai chi̍t-siaⁿ. I kiaⁿ kah boeh sí, kī-choa̍t koh chìn chi̍t pō͘ ê chhin-kīn koan-hē. I to̍k-to̍k hi-bāng yi kín lī-khui, lâu i ka-tī ko͘-to̍k tī chia. I kiaⁿ yi ê ì-chì, yi he cha-bó͘ ê ì-chì, kap yi he hiān-tāi lú-sèng ê kian-chhî. Siōng iàu-kín ê, i kiaⁿ yi he léng-khok, siōng-liū kai-kip í chū-ngó͘ tiong-sim ê tōa-bīn-sîn. Chóng-kóng, i kan-ta sī sin-lô. I thó-ià yi chhut-hiān tī chia.
Connie hut-jiân kám-kak put-an, chhíⁿ lâi. Yi khiāⁿ khí-lâi. Thiⁿ í-keng boeh àm, m̄-koh yi bē-tàng lī-khui. Yi kiâⁿ óa hit lâng, i kín-sīn khiā tio̍h, hong-song ê bīn ngē koh pe̍h, ba̍k-chiu khòaⁿ yi.
"Chia chiâⁿ sù-sī, chiâⁿ an-chêng," yi kóng. "Í-chêng góa m̄-bat lâi chia."
"M̄-bat?"
"Góa siūⁿ, ū-sî góa tio̍h lâi chia chē-chē leh."
"Hioh?"
"Lí bô tī-leh ê sî, liâu-á kám ū só?"
"Ū só, Hu-jîn."
"Lí siūⁿ, góa ē-sái ū chi̍t ki só-sî, án-ne góa tō ē-tàng lâi chē? Kám ū nn̄g ki só-sî?"
"Chāi óa chai, bô nō ki só-sî."
I koh kóng pún-tē khiuⁿ. Connie tiû-tû leh; i sī teh hoán-tùi yi. Kám kóng, che sī i ê liâu-á?"
"Lán kám bē-tàng koh chún-pī chi̍t ki só-sî?" yi iōng khin-jiû ê siaⁿ mn̄g, che piáu-sī cha-bó͘-lâng kian-tēng ê ì-chì.
"Ke chī ki!" i ná kóng, ná iōng siūⁿ-khì kap sńg-chhiò ê ba̍k-sîn khòaⁿ yi.
"Sī ah, ke chò chi̍t ki," yi kóng, bīn âng khí-lâi.
"Kiám-chhái Clifford Sà chai," i kóng, kā būn-tê sak-khui.
"Sī lah," yi kóng, "hoān-sè i ū chi̍t ki. Nā-bô, lán tio̍h iōng lí ê koh chò chi̍t ki. Chí-iàu chi̍t nn̄g kang, góa siūⁿ. Hit tōaⁿ sî-kan, lí bē-tit iōng só-sî."
"Ah, óa mā m̄-chai, Hu-jîn! Óa m̄-chai chí kho͘-lē-á ū-bô lâng tér chò só-sî."
Connie hut-jiân khì kah bīn âng-âng.
"Hó lah!" yi kóng. "Góa lâi hoa̍t-lō."
"Sī lah, Hu-jîn."
In ê ba̍k-chiu sio-tú. I ê ba̍k-sîn léng-khok koh pháiⁿ-khòaⁿ, chhiong-móa thó-ià kap khin-sī, bô teh chhap ē án-chóaⁿ. Yi ê ba̍k-sîn put-ho̍k koh hóe-to̍h.
M̄-koh yi ê sim kan-khó͘, yi khòaⁿ tio̍h, tng yi kek i ê sî, i sī hiah-nī chheh yi. Yi mā khòaⁿ tio̍h, i sī tng teh choa̍t-bōng tang-tiong.
"Chài-hōe lah!"
"Chài-kìⁿ, Hu-jîn!" i kiâⁿ chi̍t ê lé, sûi tō oa̍t-sin kiâⁿ khui. Yi phah-chhéⁿ khùn tī i sim nih ê hiong-kông hūn-hóe, tùi chū-ngó͘ tiong-sim ê cha-bó͘ ê hūn-hóe. M̄-koh, i mā bô hoat-tō͘, bô hoat-tō͘ hoán-khòng. Che i lóng chai.
Iah yi mā chheh chū-ngó͘ tiong-sim ê cha-po͘. Iû-kî sī chi̍t ê sin-lô! Yi būn-būn kiâⁿ tńg chhù.
Yi tú tio̍h Bolton Tt tī soaⁿ-lūn téng ê hit châng tōa ke-jiû chhiū (beech-tree) ē-bīn tán yi.
"Góa tng teh siūⁿ, m̄-chai lí ē lâi bô, Hu-jîn," yi khin-khoài kóng.
"Góa siuⁿ òaⁿ ah sioh?" Connie mn̄g.
"Oh, kan-ta Clifford Sià teh tán boeh lim-tê."
"Ná m̄ thè i khoán?"
"Oh, góa kám-kak góa bô ha̍h chò he. Góa siūⁿ, Clifford Sià bē kah-ì án-ne, Hu-jîn."
"Góa m̄-chai, sī án-chóaⁿ bô ha̍h," Connie kóng.
Yi ji̍p chhù khì Clifford ê chheh-pâng, hit ki kū ê tâng tê-kó͘ tú tī phâng-pôa téng teh kún.
"Góa siuⁿ òaⁿ ah sioh, Clifford?" yi kóng, kā kúi lúi hoe khǹg lo̍h, koh the̍h tê-bí koàn lâi, khiāⁿ tī tê-pôaⁿ chêng, bō-á bô chhái, ûi-kin ûi tio̍h. "Pháiⁿ-sè! Lí ná m̄ hō͘ Bolton Tt thè lí phàu-tê?"
"Góa bô siūⁿ tioh," i kek-ōe kóng. "Góa bô kám-kak yi sek-ha̍p tê-toh ê tāi-chì."
"Oh, the̍h gîn-chit tê-kó͘ pēng bô siáⁿ-mih sîn-sèng," Connie kóng.
I hòⁿ-kî gia̍h ba̍k khòaⁿ yi.
"Lí kui ē-tàu chhòng siáⁿ?" i kóng.
"Sàn-pō͘ koh tī chi̍t ê bih hong-hō͘ ê só͘-chāi chē. Lí kám chai, he tōa tang-chheng chhiū iáu ū kó-chí?"
Yi tháu tiāu ûi-kin, bō-á bô tāng, chē lo̍h-lâi phàu-tê. He sio̍k-pháng tiāⁿ-tio̍h í-keng lūn khì ah. Yi kā tê-koàn thò hó pó-un-thò (tea-cosy), koh khiā khí-lâi, khì the̍h po-lê-poe khǹg chí-lô-lân. Khó-liân ê hoe thâu-lê-lê, sûi-lo̍h.
"In ē koh oa̍h khí-lâi!" yi kóng, kā poe-á ê hoe khǹg tī i thâu-chêng hō͘ phīⁿ.
"Pí Juno ê ba̍k-phôe koh-khah tiⁿ-bi̍t," i ín chi̍t kù.
"Góa khòaⁿ bē tio̍h he kap chin-chiàⁿ ê chí-lô-lân ū khan-liân," yi kóng. "Elizabeth sî-tāi ê lâng chin gâu phòng-hong.
Yi thè i thîn tê.
"Ùi John ê Chéⁿ kòe bô hn̄g hit keng chhī thī-ke ê liâu-á, lí kám-chai sī m̄-sī ū tē-jī ki só-sî?" yi mn̄g.
"Khó-lêng ū. Án-chóaⁿ sioh?"
"Kin-á-ji̍t góa bô-ì-tiong hoat-hiān hia -- í-chêng góa m̄-bat khì kòe. Góa khòaⁿ hia chin sù-sī. Ū-sî góa ē-sái khì hia chē chi̍t-ē, sī bô?"
--
8.3 她坐小寮 ê 門邊, teh 眠夢
Án-ne, 她坐小寮 ê 門邊, teh 眠夢, 完全袂記得時間 kap 環境. 她完全神去, 忽然伊 看一下, 看著她恬靜, 期待 ê 神情. 在伊, 這是一種期待 ê 神情. 忽然間, ê 下腰, tī 尻脊後 ê 根底, ná 像去 nah 著火舌, ê 心靈哀一聲. 伊驚 kah 欲死, 拒絕 koh 進一步 ê 親近關係. 伊獨獨希望她緊離開, 留伊家己孤獨 . 伊驚她 ê 意志, 她彼查某 ê 意志, kap 她彼現代女性 ê 堅持. 上要緊 ê, 伊驚她彼冷酷, 上流階級以自我中心 ê 大面神. 總講, 伊干焦是辛勞. 伊討厭她出現 .
Connie 忽然感覺不安. 她徛起來. 天已經欲暗, m̄-koh bē-tàng 離開. 她行倚彼人, 她謹慎徛著, 風霜 ê 面硬 koh , 目睭看她.
"遮誠四序, 誠安靜," 她講. "以前我 m̄-bat 來遮."
"M̄-bat?"
"我想, 有時我著來遮坐坐 leh."
"Hioh?"
"你無 tī-leh ê , 寮仔敢有鎖?"
"有鎖, 夫人."
"你想, 我會使有一支鎖匙, án-ne tō ē-tàng 來坐? 敢有兩支鎖匙?"
"óa , 支鎖匙."
koh 講本地腔. Connie 躊躕 leh; 伊是 teh 反對她. 敢, 這是伊 ê 寮仔?"
"咱敢 bē-tàng koh 準備一支鎖匙?" 她用輕柔 ê 聲問, 這表示查某人堅定 ê 意志.
"加一支!" , ná 用受氣 kap 耍笑 ê 目神看她.
"ah, 加做一支," 她講, 面紅起來.
"檢采 Clifford Sà ," 伊講, kā 問題捒開.
"lah," 她講, "凡勢伊有一支. 若無, 咱著用你 ê koh 做一支. 只要一兩工, 我想. 彼段時間, 你袂得用鎖匙."
"Ah, óa mā 毋知, 夫人! Óa 毋知 chí kho͘-lē-á 有無人 tér 做鎖匙."
Connie 忽然氣 kah 面紅紅.
"lah!" 她講. "我來發落"
"lah, 夫人."
In ê 目睭相拄. ê 目神冷酷 koh 歹看, 充滿討厭 kap 輕視, teh chhap 會按怎. ê 目神不服 koh to̍h.
M̄-koh ê 心艱苦, 她看著, 當她激伊 ê , 伊是 hiah-nī 慼她. 看著, 伊是當 teh 絕望當中.
"再會 lah!"
"kìⁿ, 夫人!" 伊行一个禮, 越身行開. 她拍醒睏 伊心 nih ê 兇狂恨火, 對自我中心 ê 查某 ê 恨火. M̄-koh, 無法度, 無法度反抗. 這伊攏知.
Iah 慼自我中心 ê 查埔. 尤其是這个辛勞! 她悶悶行轉厝.
她拄著 Bolton Tt tī 山崙頂 ê 彼叢大雞榆樹 (beech-tree) 下面等她.
"我當 teh , 毋知你會來無, 夫人," 她輕快講.
"siuⁿ ah sioh?" Connie .
"Oh, 干焦 Clifford Sià teh 等欲啉茶."
"那毋替伊款?"
"Oh, 我感覺我無合做彼. 我想, Clifford Sià 袂佮意 án-ne, 夫人."
"我毋知, 是按怎無合," Connie .
她入厝去 Clifford ê 冊房, 彼支舊 ê 銅茶鈷拄 捀盤頂 teh .
"siuⁿ ah sioh, Clifford?" 她講, kā 幾蕊花囥落, koh 提茶米罐來, 茶盤前, 帽仔無採, 圍巾圍著. "歹勢! 你那毋予 Bolton Tt 替你泡茶?"
"我無想著," 伊激話講. "我無感覺她適合茶桌 ê 代誌."
"Oh, 提銀質茶鈷並無啥物神聖," Connie .
伊好奇攑目看她.
"你規下晝創啥?" 伊講.
"散步 koh tī 一个覕風雨 ê 所在坐. 你敢知, 彼冬青樹猶有 kó-chí?"
她敨掉圍巾, 帽仔無動, 坐落來泡茶. 彼俗麭定著已經潤去 ah. 茶罐套好保溫套 (tea-cosy), koh 徛起來, 去提玻璃杯囥紫羅蘭. 可憐 ê 花頭犁犁, 垂落.
"In koh 活起來!" 她講, kā 杯仔 ê 花囥 伊頭前予鼻.
"Juno ê 目皮 koh 較甜蜜," 伊應一句.
"我看袂著彼 kap 真正 ê 紫羅蘭有牽連," 她講. "Elizabeth 時代 ê 人真 gâu 膨風.
她替伊斟茶.
"Ùi John ê 井過無遠彼間飼雉雞 ê 寮仔, 你敢知是毋是有第二支鎖匙?" 她問.
"可能有. 按怎 sioh?"
"今仔日我無意中發現遐 -- 以前我 m̄-bat 去過. 我看遐真四序. 有時我會使去遐坐一下, 是無?"
--
8.3
So she sat in the doorway of the hut in a dream, utterly unaware of time and of particular circumstances. She was so drifted away that he glanced up at her quickly, and saw the utterly still, waiting look on her face. To him it was a look of waiting. And a little thin tongue of fire suddenly flickered in his loins, at the root of his back, and he groaned in spirit. He dreaded with a repulsion almost of death, any further close human contact. He wished above all things she would go away, and leave him to his own privacy. He dreaded her will, her female will, and her modern female insistency. And above all he dreaded her cool, upper-class impudence of having her own way. For after all he was only a hired man. He hated her presence there.
Connie came to herself with sudden uneasiness. She rose. The afternoon was turning to evening, yet she could not go away. She went over to the man, who stood up at attention, his worn face stiff and blank, his eyes watching her.

’It is so nice here, so restful,’ she said. ‘I have never been here before.’
’No?’
’I think I shall come and sit here sometimes."
’Yes?’

’Do you lock the hut when you’re not here?’
’Yes, your Ladyship.’
’Do you think I could have a key too, so that I could sit here sometimes? Are there two keys?’
’Not as Ah know on, ther’ isna.’
He had lapsed into the vernacular. Connie hesitated; he was putting up an opposition. Was it his hut, after all?
’Couldn’t we get another key?’ she asked in her soft voice, that underneath had the ring of a woman determined to get her way.
’Another!’ he said, glancing at her with a flash of anger, touched with derision.
’Yes, a duplicate,’ she said, flushing.
’
’Appen Sir Clifford ‘ud know,’ he said, putting her off.
’Yes!’ she said, ‘he might have another. Otherwise we could have one made from the one you have. It would only take a day or so, I suppose. You could spare your key for so long.’
’Ah canna tell yer, m’Lady! Ah know nob’dy as ma’es keys round ‘ere.’
Connie suddenly flushed with anger.

’Very well!’ she said. ‘I’ll see to it.’

’All right, your Ladyship.’
Their eyes met. His had a cold, ugly look of dislike and contempt, and indifference to what would happen. Hers were hot with rebuff.
But her heart sank, she saw how utterly he disliked her, when she went against him. And she saw him in a sort of desperation.
’Good afternoon!’
’Afternoon, my Lady!’ He saluted and turned abruptly away. She had wakened the sleeping dogs of old voracious anger in him, anger against the self-willed female. And he was powerless, powerless. He knew it!
And she was angry against the self-willed male. A servant too! She walked sullenly home.
She found Mrs Bolton under the great beech-tree on the knoll, looking for her.
’I just wondered if you’d be coming, my Lady,’ the woman said brightly.
’Am I late?’ asked Connie.

’Oh only Sir Clifford was waiting for his tea.’

’Why didn’t you make it then?’

’Oh, I don’t think it’s hardly my place. I don’t think Sir Clifford would like it at all, my Lady.’
’I don’t see why not,’ said Connie.
She went indoors to Clifford’s study, where the old brass kettle was simmering on the tray.
’Am I late, Clifford?’ she said, putting down the few flowers and taking up the tea-caddy, as she stood before the tray in her hat and scarf. ‘I’m sorry! Why didn’t you let Mrs Bolton make the tea?’
’I didn’t think of it,’ he said ironically. ‘I don’t quite see her presiding at the tea-table.’
’Oh, there’s nothing sacrosanct about a silver tea-pot,’ said Connie.
He glanced up at her curiously.

’What did you do all afternoon?’ he said.

’Walked and sat in a sheltered place. Do you know there are still berries on the big holly-tree?’

She took off her scarf, but not her hat, and sat down to make tea. The toast would certainly be leathery. She put the tea-cosy over the tea-pot, and rose to get a little glass for her violets. The poor flowers hung over, limp on their stalks.
’They’ll revive again!’ she said, putting them before him in their glass for him to smell.

’Sweeter than the lids of Juno’s eyes,’ he quoted.

’I don’t see a bit of connexion with the actual violets,’ she said. ‘The Elizabethans are rather upholstered.’
She poured him his tea.
’Do you think there is a second key to that little hut not far from John’s Well, where the pheasants are reared?’ she said.
’There may be. Why?’
’I happened to find it today—and I’d never seen it before. I think it’s a darling place. I could sit there sometimes, couldn’t I?’
--

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