9.5 I khai-sí gián-kiù chhái-khòng ê choan-gia̍p
Taⁿ i bêng-pe̍k, Sêng-kong ê káu-bó sîn ū nn̄g ê chú-iàu ê ūi-kháu: chi̍t ê sī chhiūⁿ chok-ka kap gē-su̍t-ka só͘ thê-kiong ê pa-kiat, o-ló, phô͘-tháⁿ, kap pê-chiūⁿ; m̄-koh, iáu chi̍t chióng khah àm-sàm ê ūi-kháu ái chia̍h bah kap kut. Iah thê-kiong hō͘ káu-bó sîn bah kap kut ê, sī tī kang-gia̍p kài thàn tio̍h chîⁿ ê lâng.
Tio̍h, ū nn̄g tōa tīn káu teh sio-cheⁿ jek káu-bó sîn: chi̍t tīn ài pa-kiat, hiah-ê thê-kiong yi gō͘-lo̍k, sió-soat, tiān-iáⁿ, kap hì-kio̍k ê: kap lēng-gōa chi̍t tīn, bô hiah hèng tián, m̄-koh ke chin iá-bân, iā tō sī hiah-ê hō͘ yi bah kap kim-chîⁿ ê si̍t-chāi bu̍t-chit ê. Chhēng-chhah ko-kip, ài-tián ê gō͘-lo̍k káu-tīn, ūi-tio̍h cheng-chhú káu-bó sîn ê ài-kò͘ hō͘-siong sio-phah, sio-jiáng. M̄-koh, che kap hiah-ê chah pit-su-phín kap kut-thâu ê káu-tīn ê tiām-tiām piàⁿ-kah-sí pí khí-lâi soah ná-chhiūⁿ bô siáⁿ.
M̄-koh, siū tio̍h Bolton Tt ê éng-hióng, Clifford siūⁿ boeh chìn-ji̍p iáu chi̍t tiūⁿ chiàn-tàu, boeh iōng kang-gia̍p seng-sán ê thé-la̍t hong-sek khì lia̍h káu-bó sîn. Chóng-kóng, i í-keng bú-chong hó-sè.
Tī bó͘ chi̍t hong-bīn lâi kóng, Bolton Tt hō͘ i chiâⁿ-chò lâm-chú-hàn, che Connie bô chò tio̍h. Connie bô bak i, hō͘ i bín-kám koh kòa-ì ka-tī, mā kòa-ì ka-tī ê chōng-thài. Bolton Tt hō͘ i kan-ta chù-ì gōa-kháu ê tāi-chì. Hióng lāi, i piàn kah jiû-nńg ná ko. M̄-koh hiòng gōa, i piàn kah chin chek-ke̍k.
I pēng-chhiáⁿ koh chi̍t pái chhin-chū khí-sin khì khòng-tiûⁿ: chi̍t kàu hia, i peh ji̍p chi̍t kha tháng-á, hông iōng tháng-á lūi lo̍h-khì kang-tē. Hiah-ê chiàn-cheng í-chêng só͘ o̍h ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ, ká-ná lóng bē-kì-tit ah, taⁿ lóng koh hō͘ siūⁿ khí-lâi. I chē hia, siang-kha put-sūi chē tī tháng-á té, thiaⁿ tē-hā keng-lí iōng kiông-la̍t ê teng-kng chiò khóng-me̍h hō͘ khòaⁿ. I bô siáⁿ kóng-ōe. M̄-koh i ê sim khai-sí teh tāng.
I khai-sí kā chhái-khòng kang-gia̍p ê ki-su̍t chheh koh the̍h lâi tha̍k, gián-kiù chèng-hú ê kong-pò, mā iōng-sim tha̍k Tek-bûn siá ê iú-koan chhái-khóng kap thô͘-thòaⁿ hām ia̍h-giâm (頁岩, shale) ê hòa-ha̍k. Tong-jiân, siōng ū kè-ta̍t ê hoat-hiān lóng sī chīn-liōng pó-siú pì-bi̍t. M̄-koh, lí nā khai-sí gián-kiù chhái-khòng choan-gia̍p, gián-kiù hong-hoat kap ki-su̍t, gián-kiù thô͘-thòaⁿ ê hù-sán-phín kap hòa-ha̍k khó-lêng-sèng, tō ē ū kiaⁿ-lâng ê hoat-hiān, lán-lâng hiān-tāi ki-su̍t ê to̍k-chhòng-sèng kap chin pháiⁿ siūⁿ tio̍h ê chhong-bêng châi-tì. Che tō ná mô͘-kúi chhin-sin kā mô͘-kúi ê tì-hūi chioh hō͘ kang-gia̍p kài ê ki-su̍t choan-ka. Chit-chióng kang-gia̍p ê ki-su̍t kho-ha̍k, pí gē-su̍t, pí bûn-ha̍k, pí hiah-ê khó-liân, kám-sèng ê tì-lêng put-chiok ê mih-kiāⁿ koh-khah chhù-bī. Tī chit ê hong-bīn, lâng tō ná sîn, a̍h ná ok-mô͘, hoat-sim boeh khì hoat-hiān, koh chīn-la̍t kā si̍t-hiān. Án-ne chò tiong-kan, lâng ê sim-tì nî-lêng sī lân-tit kè-sǹg ê. M̄-koh Clifford chai, nā kóng tio̍h kám-chêng kap lâng ê seng-oa̍h, chiah-ê lâng ê sim-tì nî-lêng tāi-khài 13 hòe, sī nńg-jio̍k ê cha-po͘ gín-á. Che chha-pia̍t chin tōa, chin kiaⁿ-lâng.
M̄-koh, mài chhap he. Hō͘ lâng tī kám-chêng kap "jîn-sèng" ê sim-tì ku̍t lo̍h kàu tòng-gōng, Clifford bô koan-sim. Hiah-ê lóng chāi i khì. I chhù-bī ê sī hiān-tāi thô͘-thòaⁿ khai-chhái ê ki-su̍t, kap Tevershall ê chài-chō.
I chi̍t kang chi̍t kang lo̍h thòaⁿ-khang, i gián-kiù, i kā chóng keng-lí, sū-bū keng-lí, kap tē-hā keng-lí, hām kang-thêng-su iōng in chò-bāng to siūⁿ bē-kàu ê hong-sek khó-giām. Khoân-ui! I choân-sin lóng ū khoân-ui ê kám-kak: tùi chiah-ê lâng, kap tùi kúi-nā pah ê thòaⁿ-kang ê khoân-ui. I chiām-chiām hoat-hiān: i mā chiām-chiām kā tāi-chì la̍k-ji̍p i ê chhiú-thâu.
Chin ê, i ná chhiūⁿ koh-oa̍h lah. Taⁿ sèⁿ-miā tńg kàu i ê sin-khu! I pún-chiâⁿ hām Connie kòe hit-chióng gē-su̍t-ka kap sim-lêng-chiá ê su-jîn seng-oa̍h, í-keng bān-bān teh sí. Taⁿ, hiah-ê lóng chāi i khì, hō͘ khì khùn. I kan-ta kám-kak ùi thô͘-thòaⁿ, ùi thòaⁿ-khang, sèⁿ-miā koàn-ji̍p i ê sin-khu. Khòng-tiūⁿ ê ak-chak khong-khì pí sng-sò͘ tùi i koh-khah hó. Che hō͘ i kám-kak ū khoân-ui. I teh chò sū-gia̍p ah: i tit-boeh chò sū-gia̍p ah. I ē iâⁿ, ē iâⁿ: m̄-sī chhiūⁿ i iōng sió-soat tit-tio̍h hit-chióng, he kan-ta sī miâ-siaⁿ, hù-chhut só͘-ū ê khùi-la̍t kap kan-chah. Boeh iâⁿ chi̍t ê lâm-chú-hàn ê sèng-lī.
Tú khai-sí, i siūⁿ kóng, kái-koat tiám sī tī tiān-la̍t: kā thô͘-thòaⁿ piàn sêng tiān-la̍t. Āu-lâi koh ū chi̍t ê sin siūⁿ-hoat. Tek-kok lâng hoat-bêng chi̍t chióng m̄-bián hóe-la̍t ê hoat-tōng-ki, lī-iōng chi̍t chióng sin jián-liāu, chió-chió ê jián-liāu tī bó͘-chióng te̍k-pia̍t tiâu-kiāⁿ, ē-tàng sán-seng chin tōa ê jia̍t-liōng.
Chit-chióng sin ê chi̍p-tiong-sek jián-liāu, bān-bān sio, jia̍t-liōng tōa ê siūⁿ-hoat ín-khí Clifford ê chù-ì. Sio chit-chióng jián-liāu it-tēng ū bó͘-chióng gōa-lâi ê chhì-kek, m̄-sī kan-ta khò khong-khì. I khai-sí si̍t-giām, mā chhiàⁿ chi̍t ê tī hòa-ha̍k gián-kiù chò liáu bē-bái ê chhong-bêng siàu-liân lâi pang-chō.
Iah i kám-kak sêng-kong lah, kám-kak i chhut-thoat lah. I í-keng si̍t-hiān i kú-lâi siūⁿ boeh chhut-thoat ê kî-thāi. Gē-su̍t bô hō͘ i sêng-kong. Gē-su̍t kan-ta chó͘-tòng tio̍h i. Iah taⁿ, taⁿ i í-keng sêng-kong lah.
I pēng m̄-chai, Bolton Tt sī gōa-nī hû-chō͘ i. I mā m̄-chai ka-tī sī gōa-nī óa-khò yi. M̄-koh, in-ūi chiah-ê chióng-chióng, ū chi̍t ê bêng-hián ê tāi-chì, tō-sī i nā kap yi chò-hóe, i ê siaⁿ-tiāu tō piàn-chò chū-chāi, chhin-chhiat, sīm-chì sió-khóa chho͘-ló͘.
Kap Connie chò-hóe, i sió-khóa tēng-tēng, kám-kak ta̍k-hāng lóng khiàm yi, chí-iàu yi gōa-piáu siōng chun-kèng i, i tō piáu-hiān chhut tùi yi ê tōa-tōa chun-kèng kap koan-sim. M̄-koh, chin bêng-hián, i ê lāi-sim kiaⁿ yi. I ê lāi-sim ê Achilles ū chi̍t ê āu-teⁿ, chit ê āu-teⁿ sī chi̍t ê cha-bó͘, chhiūⁿ in bó Connie, ē hō͘ i pái-kha kah boeh sí. Só͘-í, i chìn-ji̍p bó͘-chióng pòaⁿ sūn-ho̍k, pòaⁿ kiaⁿ yi ê chōng-thāi, chū án-ne tùi yi chiâⁿ thé-thiap. I nā kap yi kóng-ōe, i ê siaⁿ-tiāu kín-tiuⁿ, só͘-í nā ū yi chāi-tiûⁿ ê sî, i khai-sí bô-ōe.
Kan-ta tng i hām Bolton Tt tan-to̍k chò-hóe ê sî, i chiah ē kám-kak ka-tī sī chú-lâng, sī thâu-ke, iah i kap yi kong-ōe ê siaⁿ, tō ná yi kóng ê ōe, chū-jiân koh liû-lī. Iah i hō͘ yi kā siu-bīn, a̍h-sī kā lù sin-khu, tō ná-chhiūⁿ gín-á, chin ê, ná-chhiūⁿ i sī chi̍t-ê gín-á.
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9.5 伊開始研究採礦 ê 專業
當伊明白, 成功 ê 狗母神有兩个主要 ê 胃口: 一个是像作家 kap 藝術家所提供 ê 巴結, o-ló, 扶挺, kap 耙癢; m̄-koh, 猶一種較暗毿 ê 胃口愛食肉 kap 骨. Iah 提供予狗母神肉 kap 骨 ê, 是 tī 工業界趁著錢 ê 人.
著, 有兩大陣狗 teh 相爭逐狗母神: 一陣愛巴結, hiah-ê 提供她娛樂, 小說, 電影, kap 戲劇 ê: kap 另外一陣, 無 hiah hèng 展, m̄-koh 加真野蠻, 也 tō 是 hiah-ê 予她肉 kap 金錢 ê 實在物質 ê. 穿插高級, 愛展 ê 娛樂狗陣, 為著爭取狗母神 ê 愛顧互相相拍, 相嚷. M̄-koh, 這 kap hiah-ê 扎必需品 kap 骨頭 ê 狗陣 ê 恬恬拚 kah 死比起來煞 ná 像無啥.
M̄-koh, 受著 Bolton Tt ê 影響, Clifford siūⁿ 欲進入猶一場戰鬥, 欲用工業生產 ê 體力方式去掠狗母神. 總講, 伊已經武裝好勢.
Tī 某一方面來講, Bolton Tt 予伊成做男子漢, 這 Connie 無做著. Connie 無 bak 伊, 予伊敏感 koh 掛意家己, mā 掛意家己 ê 狀態. Bolton Tt 予伊干焦注意外口 ê 代誌. 向內, 伊變 kah 柔軟 ná 膏. M̄-koh 向外, 伊變 kah 真積極.
伊並且 koh 一擺親自起身去礦場: 一到遐, 伊 peh 入一跤桶仔, hông 用桶仔縋落去工地. Hiah-ê 戰爭以前所學 ê 物件, ká-ná 攏袂記得 ah, 今攏 koh 予想起來. 伊坐遐, 雙跤不遂坐 tī 桶仔底, 聽地下經理用強力 ê 燈光照礦脈予看. 伊無啥講話. M̄-koh 伊 ê 心開始 teh 動.
伊開始 kā 採礦工業 ê 技術冊 koh 提來讀, 研究政府 ê 公報, mā 用心讀德文寫 ê 有關採礦 kap 塗炭和頁岩 (shale) ê 化學. 當然, 上有價值 ê 發現是盡量保守秘密. M̄-koh, 你若開始研究採礦專業, 研究方法 kap 技術, 研究塗炭 ê 副產品 kap 化學可能性, tō 會有驚人 ê 發現, 咱人現代技術 ê 獨創性 kap 真歹想著 ê 聰明才智. 這 tō ná 魔鬼親身 kā 魔鬼 ê 智慧借予工業界 ê 技術專家. 這種工業 ê 技術科學, 比藝術, 比文學, 比 hiah-ê 可憐, 感性 ê 智能不足 ê 物件 koh 較趣味. Tī 這个方面, 人 tō ná 神, 抑 ná 惡魔, 發心欲去發現, koh 盡力 kā 實現. Án-ne 做中間, 人 ê 心智年齡是難得計算 ê. M̄-koh Clifford 知, 若講著感情 kap 人 ê 生活, chiah-ê 人 ê 心智年齡大概 13 歲, 是軟弱 ê 查埔囡仔. 這差別真大, 真驚人.
M̄-koh, 莫 chhap 彼. 予人 tī 感情 kap "人性" ê 心智滑落到侗戇, Clifford 無關心. Hiah-ê 攏在伊去. 伊趣味 ê 是現代塗炭開採 ê 技術, kap Tevershall ê 再造.
伊一工一工落炭空, 伊研究, 伊 kā 總經理, 事務經理, kap 地下經理, 和工程師用 in 做夢都想袂到 ê 方式考驗. 權威! 伊全身攏有權威 ê 感覺: 對 chiah-ê 人, kap 對幾若百个炭工 ê 權威. 伊漸漸發現: 伊 mā 漸漸 kā 代誌納入伊 ê 手頭.
真 ê, 伊 ná 像 koh 活 lah.今性命轉到伊 ê 身軀! 伊本成和 Connie 過彼種藝術家 kap 心靈者 ê 私人生活, 已經慢慢 teh 死. 今, hiah-ê 攏在伊去, 予去睏. 伊干焦感覺 ùi 塗炭, ùi 炭空, 性命灌入伊 ê 身軀. 礦場 ê ak-chak 空氣比酸素對伊 koh 較好. 這予伊感覺有權威. 伊 teh 做事業 ah: 伊得欲做事業 ah. 伊會贏, 會贏: 毋是伊用小說得著彼種, 彼干焦是名聲, 付出所有 ê 氣力 kap 奸詐. 欲贏一个男子漢 ê 勝利.
拄開始, 伊想講, 解決點是 tī 電力: kā 塗炭變成電力. 後來 koh 有一个新想法. 德國人發明一種毋免火力 ê 發動機, 利用一種新燃料, 少少 ê 燃料 tī 某種特別條件, ē-tàng 產生真大 ê 熱量.
這種新 ê 集中式燃料, 慢慢燒, 熱量大 ê 想法引起 Clifford ê 注意. 燒這種燃料一定有某種外來 ê 刺激, 毋是干焦靠空氣. 伊開始實驗, mā 倩一个 tī 化學研究做了袂䆀 ê 聰明少年來幫助.
Iah 伊感覺成功 lah, 感覺伊出脫 lah. 伊已經實現伊久來想欲出脫 ê 期待. 藝術無予伊成功. 藝術干焦阻擋著伊. Iah 今, 伊已經成功 lah.
伊並毋知, Bolton Tt 是 gōa-nī 扶助伊. 伊 mā 毋知家己是 gōa-nī 倚靠她. M̄-koh, 因為 chiah-ê 種種, 有一个明顯 ê 代誌, tō 是伊若 kap 她做伙,伊 ê 聲調 tō 變做自在, 親切, 甚至小可粗魯.
Kap Connie 做伙, 伊小可 tēng-tēng, 感覺逐項攏欠她, 只要她外表上尊敬伊, 伊 tō 表現出對她 ê 大大尊敬 kap 關心. M̄-koh, 真明顯, 伊 ê 內心驚她. 伊 ê 內心 ê Achilles 有一个後蹬, 這个後蹬是一个查某, 像 in 某 Connie, 會予伊跛跤 kah 欲死. 所以, 伊進入某種半順服, 半驚她 ê 狀態, 自 án-ne 對她誠體貼. 伊若 kap 她講話, 伊 ê 聲調緊張, 所以若有她在場 ê 時, 伊開始無話.
干焦當伊和 Bolton Tt 單獨做伙 ê 時, 伊才會感覺家己是主人, 是頭家, iah 伊 kap 她講話 ê 聲, tō ná 她講 ê 話, 自然 koh 流利. Iah 伊予她 kā 修面, 抑是 kā lù 身軀, tō ná 像囡仔, 真 ê, ná 像伊是一个囡仔.
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9.5
He realized now that the bitch-goddess of Success had two main appetites: one for flattery, adulation, stroking and tickling such as writers and artists gave her; but the other a grimmer appetite for meat and bones. And the meat and bones for the bitch-goddess were provided by the men who made money in industry.
Yes, there were two great groups of dogs wrangling for the bitch-goddess: the group of the flatterers, those who offered her amusement, stories, films, plays: and the other, much less showy, much more savage breed, those who gave her meat, the real substance of money. The well-groomed showy dogs of amusement wrangled and snarled among themselves for the favours of the bitch-goddess. But it was nothing to the silent fight-to-the-death that went on among the indispensables, the bone-bringers.
But under Mrs Bolton’s influence, Clifford was tempted to enter this other fight, to capture the bitch-goddess by brute means of industrial production. Somehow, he got his pecker up.
In one way, Mrs Bolton made a man of him, as Connie never did. Connie kept him apart, and made him sensitive and conscious of himself and his own states. Mrs Bolton made him aware only of outside things. Inwardly he began to go soft as pulp. But outwardly he began to be effective.
He even roused himself to go to the mines once more: and when he was there, he went down in a tub, and in a tub he was hauled out into the workings. Things he had learned before the war, and seemed utterly to have forgotten, now came back to him. He sat there, crippled, in a tub, with the underground manager showing him the seam with a powerful torch. And he said little. But his mind began to work.
He began to read again his technical works on the coalmining industry, he studied the government reports, and he read with care the latest things on mining and the chemistry of coal and of shale which were written in German. Of course the most valuable discoveries were kept secret as far as possible. But once you started a sort of research in the field of coal-mining, a study of methods and means, a study of by-products and the chemical possibilities of coal, it was astounding the ingenuity and the almost uncanny cleverness of the modern technical mind, as if really the devil himself had lent fiend’s wits to the technical scientists of industry. It was far more interesting than art, than literature, poor emotional half-witted stuff, was this technical science of industry. In this field, men were like gods, or demons, inspired to discoveries, and fighting to carry them out. In this activity, men were beyond any mental age calculable. But Clifford knew that when it did come to the emotional and human life, these self-made men were of a mental age of about thirteen, feeble boys. The discrepancy was enormous and appalling.
But let that be. Let man slide down to general idiocy in the emotional and ‘human’ mind, Clifford did not care. Let all that go hang. He was interested in the technicalities of modern coal-mining, and in pulling Tevershall out of the hole.
He went down to the pit day after day, he studied, he put the general manager, and the overhead manager, and the underground manager, and the engineers through a mill they had never dreamed of. Power! He felt a new sense of power flowing through him: power over all these men, over the hundreds and hundreds of colliers. He was finding out: and he was getting things into his grip.
And he seemed verily to be re-born. NOW life came into him! He had been gradually dying, with Connie, in the isolated private life of the artist and the conscious being. Now let all that go. Let it sleep. He simply felt life rush into him out of the coal, out of the pit. The very stale air of the colliery was better than oxygen to him. It gave him a sense of power, power. He was doing something: and he was GOING to do something. He was going to win, to win: not as he had won with his stories, mere publicity, amid a whole sapping of energy and malice. But a man’s victory.
At first he thought the solution lay in electricity: convert the coal into electric power. Then a new idea came. The Germans invented a new locomotive engine with a self feeder, that did not need a fireman. And it was to be fed with a new fuel, that burnt in small quantities at a great heat, under peculiar conditions.
The idea of a new concentrated fuel that burnt with a hard slowness at a fierce heat was what first attracted Clifford. There must be some sort of external stimulus of the burning of such fuel, not merely air supply. He began to experiment, and got a clever young fellow, who had proved brilliant in chemistry, to help him.
And he felt triumphant. He had at last got out of himself. He had fulfilled his life-long secret yearning to get out of himself. Art had not done it for him. Art had only made it worse. But now, now he had done it.
He was not aware how much Mrs Bolton was behind him. He did not know how much he depended on her. But for all that, it was evident that when he was with her his voice dropped to an easy rhythm of intimacy, almost a trifle vulgar.
With Connie, he was a little stiff. He felt he owed her everything, and he showed her the utmost respect and consideration, so long as she gave him mere outward respect. But it was obvious he had a secret dread of her. The new Achilles in him had a heel, and in this heel the woman, the woman like Connie, his wife, could lame him fatally. He went in a certain half-subservient dread of her, and was extremely nice to her. But his voice was a little tense when he spoke to her, and he began to be silent whenever she was present.
Only when he was alone with Mrs Bolton did he really feel a lord and a master, and his voice ran on with her almost as easily and garrulously as her own could run. And he let her shave him or sponge all his body as if he were a child, really as if he were a child.
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